[Ain't_It_Just_]

Aptorian, on Apr 18 2009, 09:19 PM, said:

What kind of backwards country is Australia if you can't get beer, booze or even, as a last resort, wine on a saturday evening?

BLASPHEMY!

Cheer up Sombra, everyone cracks it once in a while. It'll die down eventually.

Anyway, I have an annoying little shit of a brother bothering me.

[teholbeddict]

Hey Sombra! Sorry to hear about your blow up, I completely understand where you're coming from. I have a horrible temper and a pretty short fuse, I tend to get ridiculously angry, but it's over quickly and then I'm stuck regretting my blow up. As the others have said though it happens to even the best of us. Just hold your head high and don't let it get to you. You're a good person, bad temper of no and I'm sure your co-workers know that too! Everyone has a bad day now and then, plus this guy had clearly been getting on your nerves for a while now. It may seem disasterous now, but it will look less and less so as time goes on, it'll probably even seem much better come morning! Keep your head up and try not to let it get you down, like I said you're a good person don't let this one incident define you!

[Ain't_It_Just_]

MY WRIST IS KILLING ME!

[Mezla PigDog]

Ain't_It_Just_, on Apr 19 2009, 09:21 AM, said:

MY WRIST IS KILLING ME!

You really ought to try taking part in the contest for a while, let those young immature wrist bones recover for a week!

Messing with my groove - allergies! I pride myself on generally having an iron constitution but I have a lumpy itchy rash on my arm and I don't know what it is from. Thankfully it isn't as bad as the Miami incident where I tried some new sun lotion and quite literally ended up looking like the Elephant Man with a dose of smallpox... but still, I don't like living under the threat of it happening again. I don't know what ingredient I am allergic to so don't know what to avoid. I only leaned my arm on the bar in the pub yesterday.... What if I'm allergic to the pub???!?!?!

[amphibian]

Due to a monumental fuck-up by the organizers of a very large Brazilian jiu-jitsu tournament in New York City, I was unable to compete in my first tournament this weekend.

I trained my ass off for this tournament. I improved my technique, my conditioning and carefully planned meals so I'd make weight comfortably. I initiated an e-mail conversation with the tournament organizers about my deafness, how it'd affect my grappling, who I should notifiy etc. I was given the name of an organizer and told to contact him once I arrived at the tournament. I planned the three hour trip down to NYC carefully, as I have finals in a week and a half. I budgeted money for transit, clean food, and arranged to crash at a friend's house. I showed up six hours before I was scheduled to go on in order to ensure that the organizers were aware of my situation. I checked in with the ring organizers and gi-check judge several times over those six hours and was told everything was a-okay, despite some schedule rearranging to fit the complexities of a major tournament. When it came time for my bracket to go, I was ready to go and in the holding/warm-up area right next to the gi-check, eagerly awaiting my chance to see how I would do in a big time event like this.

I ended up waiting in the holding/warm-up area for over three hours.

They never called my name. When the other guys in my weight class were called, I went to the organizers calling them and was told to wait. And wait and wait.

As pleasantly as I could, I hassled everybody I could for those three hours. I tried to bring the situation to the attention of the ring organizers, who either ignored me or weren't able to get the attention of the managers, who were informed of my situation, even looked at me and then ignored me. I was talking to other competitors, trying to figure out what was going on without interfering with their tournament too much. I had the gi-check judge and one ring organizer going above and beyond the call of duty trying to get the higher-ups aware of my situation. By the time I managed to get somewhere productive, it was too late. My bracket was over.

I knew it was too late, but to hear it from the mid-level guys just brought down this wave of disappointment. I couldn't compete. My hard work would go wasted that day. All of the mid-level guys knew a huge fuck-up had just happened and several of them expressed halting words of comfort to me.

I asked for a refund and was brought to a young man who did give me it. At the same time, the head organizer of the tournament came over and told me it was my fault. He told me this kind of mistake was impossible. That it could never happen in a thousand years. It was all my fault. That I'd screwed up by missing the organizer's calls and by missing the non-existent PA calls for me.

At this point, my disappointment turned into profound anger. I did my absolute best to remain calm and explain what had happened, what I had done and how my story was corroborated by at least six other low to mid-level organizers.

Didn't matter to him. He told me it was my fault. At this point, I asked for his name. He refused to tell me and told his subordinates not to talk to me any further. He told me that I didn't belong near him anymore and that I should go away.

All of his subordinates had sick faces on as they realized what he'd done. But they stuck to the company line and escorted me out. One of the subordinates who had previously been helpful took me aside and gave me a long lecture on how I was lucky to get a refund, further reemphasized that it was my fault and that I should take greater precautions next time to avoid such errors.

I walked out of that gym experiencing rage beyond anything I've ever felt in my life before.

Some dude tried to pick a fight with me on the subway over seating issues (I'd asked him to move, as he kept bumping into me). My smile in response was so creepy that he moved to another car. My friend had invited me to his sister's birthday party, so for his sake I put on a good face and kept the drinking to a minimum because the rage was so strong. He had a blast and I tried to not replay this stuff in my head over and over again. It worked for a while.

Today, the day after all, it's still so strong that the few people who I told about the situation are trying to comfort me and staying the hell away from me.

Fuck.

[Aptorian]

Woah... thats a terrible story. This is like Newspaper worthy idiocy. I know Ekstra Bladet here in Denmark would have loved to run a story on something like that.

Too bad you didn't get that prick managers information.

[Grief]

You said you were in e-mail communication with the people who organised it?
Would you being able to get the guys info that way?

[HoosierDaddy]

There has to be some way to find out the "head organizer's" name. Have you tried looking on the internet or having a friend call the people and ask "who the head organizer is because he wants to let them know he did a terrific job" or some b.s. like that to trick them?

I bet reporting his behavior to other jiu jitsu organizations, and that you will let every other person without that community that you can know, so that you can avoid tournaments he is affiliated with, would provide a small amount of relief.

[Aptorian]

Or he could just find out where he lives, and pummel him with smelly trout...

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Mezla PigDog, on Apr 20 2009, 05:15 AM, said:

You really ought to try taking part in the contest for a while, let those young immature wrist bones recover for a week!

I was wounded in the line of duty, I'll have you know. By a punk named Jimmy.

Well, despite prodigious icing and bandaging and resting, my wrist still looks like a bratwurst. Angryface.

[Slow Ben]

And you miss school for that. Jeez candyland.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Yes, candyland is a wonderful place. They wrote a song about it.

Seriously though, I can't pick up a pencil without it really hurting. Nor moving it. And if I let it dangle it hurts as well.

"wonders at life"

[Centzon Totochtin]

I couldn't write for 4 weeks, I still went to school. friends take notes and I read them or I tried to write with my left hand!

[Slow Ben]

No, no, dont listen to her AIJ, i was just kidding.

Milk it for all its worth!

This post has been edited by Slow Ben: 20 April 2009 - 03:05 AM

[amphibian]

Grief, on Apr 19 2009, 04:35 PM, said:

You said you were in e-mail communication with the people who organised it?
Would you being able to get the guys info that way?

The e-mail the organization uses is a straight company e-mail ie. ibjjf at yadda yadda. There's nothing on the website about who runs it - and the other articles pretty much just say that the Gracie schools put this tourney on.

HoosierDaddy, on Apr 19 2009, 04:37 PM, said:

There has to be some way to find out the "head organizer's" name. Have you tried looking on the internet or having a friend call the people and ask "who the head organizer is because he wants to let them know he did a terrific job" or some b.s. like that to trick them?

I bet reporting his behavior to other jiu jitsu organizations, and that you will let every other person without that community that you can know, so that you can avoid tournaments he is affiliated with, would provide a small amount of relief.

I believe he's a Gracie cousin. This is really touchy territory, as the Gracies have long been prominent in the BJJ world. There's a lot of inter-family politics, bad blood with outsiders and so on. At least part of that complexity arises from the Gracie family's long history of being assholes - as in withholding techniques, blackballing anyone who "goes against" their teachings, attempting to associate BJJ solely with the Gracie name. The family as a whole has done a lot for the sport and for mixed martial arts, but at the same time, they've hurt it too.

Furthermore, IBJJF is probably the largest jiu jitsu organization out there. They run many of the big tournaments. At some point down the line, I will be entering other tournaments run by them.

I am definitely going to tell my instructor the full story on Tuesday night. I texted him a sketch of the story, so he sort of knows the essential elements. I'll abide by whatever he decides, as he's always been a smart, strong individual who doesn't kowtow to the Gracies. What I do here reflects not only on myself, but my school as well, so I want to do right by myself, him and the other guys and girls too.

For what it's worth, thanks guys. I'm basically a tetchy stranger on the internetz and I appreciate your comments.

This post has been edited by amphibian: 20 April 2009 - 03:35 AM

[Traveller]

I have an ex who just refuses to remain in my past. We split on friendly terms after a few years together, but unfortunately for me, she moved in just down the road from my brother a few years back and they're all best friends. She and my family get on well - she still stays in touch with my mum.

Problem is... my gf gets severely pissed off about it. My family, somewhat insensitively, are always going on about my ex, and how great she is (god this sounds like Meet the Parents or something) so I can see why it's grating. It's difficult trying to gain approval from your in-laws anyway, without an ex to deal with as well, so I see her point.

Another girl i went out with a few years back had the same problem, with the same ex - was incredibly pissed that I was even still on speaking terms with her. I always thought an amicable break-up wasn't a bad thing, but apparently, according to the women in my life, ex-partners should all be blasted into space or at least avoided like the plague for ever after.

My groove is severly messed with, as thanks to the wonder that is Facebook my gf can now get pissed off at long-range, and take it out on me. Never mind the fact that I split up with her 10 YEARS ago.

Plus, everyone elses gf's seem to be fine about ex's, and all seem to get on great.

Bollocks.

This post has been edited by Traveller: 21 April 2009 - 09:30 AM

[Macros]

typing on a disgusting apple mac

[amphibian]

Traveller, on Apr 21 2009, 05:25 AM, said:

I have an ex who just refuses to remain in my past. We split on friendly terms after a few years together, but unfortunately for me, she moved in just down the road from my brother a few years back and they're all best friends. She and my family get on well - she still stays in touch with my mum.

Problem is... my gf gets severely pissed off about it. My family, somewhat insensitively, are always going on about my ex, and how great she is (god this sounds like Meet the Parents or something) so I can see why it's grating. It's difficult trying to gain approval from your in-laws anyway, without an ex to deal with as well, so I see her point.

Another girl i went out with a few years back had the same problem, with the same ex - was incredibly pissed that I was even still on speaking terms with her. I always thought an amicable break-up wasn't a bad thing, but apparently, according to the women in my life, ex-partners should all be blasted into space or at least avoided like the plague for ever after.

My groove is severly messed with, as thanks to the wonder that is Facebook my gf can now get pissed off at long-range, and take it out on me. Never mind the fact that I split up with her 10 YEARS ago.

Plus, everyone elses gf's seem to be fine about ex's, and all seem to get on great.

Bollocks.

I think you need to sit down with your girlfriend and ask her to articulate exactly what bothers her. There's bound to be some mixture of the rational and irrational that's causing this hostility. You can probably speculate as to what it is, but for whatever reason, people like it when they can tell you this kind of stuff.

The rest of the talk will probably be spent reassuring her that she is indeed the one you want and that you're aware of and in control of the situation.

Look at this way - you are choosing to be with people who are so awesome that your entire family continues to associate with them despite the breakup. Staying friends with ex-girlfriends is usually a good sign of maturity and taste. Apart from my extremely incompetent handling of the breakup of my first relationship, I'm friends with all my exes. Gods, I was an idiot with that first one.

[Mezla PigDog]

Traveller, on Apr 21 2009, 10:25 AM, said:

Plus, everyone elses gf's seem to be fine about ex's, and all seem to get on great.

Yeah, maybe to outward appearances! There is no way many girlfriends are happy about ex's, even if they say they are. I am party to the inside female gossip of "I know he isn't going to get back with her and I know I shouldn't make a fuss but ........ I fucking hate the bitch"

Messing with my groove - Too much work and mad students causing a weird fuss over cultural differences. I've got more important shit to do than mediate cultural misunderstandings.

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

Mezla PigDog, on Apr 21 2009, 01:48 PM, said:

mad students causing a weird fuss over cultural differences. I've got more important shit to do than mediate cultural misunderstandings.

What happened?