Malazan Empire: What's messing with your groove? - Malazan Empire

Jump to content

  • 1553 Pages +
  • « First
  • 212
  • 213
  • 214
  • 215
  • 216
  • Last »
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

What's messing with your groove?

#4261 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

  • Throatwobbler Mangrove
  • Group: Grumpy Old Sods
  • Posts: 5,600
  • Joined: 02-July 06
  • Location:The Emerald City
  • Interests:Quiet desperation and self-loathing

Posted 13 May 2010 - 02:24 AM

Running around the waterpark today, my johnson got severly chaffed by my stupid bathing suit.
Error: Signature not valid
0

#4262 User is offline   Illuyankas 

  • Retro Classic
  • Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
  • Posts: 7,254
  • Joined: 28-September 04
  • Will cluck you up

Posted 13 May 2010 - 02:27 AM

 Raymond Luxury Yacht, on 13 May 2010 - 02:24 AM, said:

Running around the waterpark today, my johnson got severly chaffed by my stupid bathing suit.

OH FUCKING TRAGEDY LET ME CRY YOU A RIVER

NORMALLY I WOULD BE FULL OF SYMPATHY BUT I'M A LITTLE FRAUGHT RIGHT NOW
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
0

#4263 User is offline   RodeoRanch 

  • The Midnight Special
  • Group: Administrators
  • Posts: 5,811
  • Joined: 01-January 03
  • Location:Alberta, Canada

Posted 13 May 2010 - 03:01 AM

I've buggered up my left wrist. Hurts like hell.


But at least my peep ain't on the fritz like Illy's!
0

#4264 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

  • Believer
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 8,032
  • Joined: 30-June 08
  • Location:Indianapolis
  • Interests:Football

Posted 13 May 2010 - 03:11 AM

I tweaked my lower back last night, and it's sore as shit.

But at least my joystick is perfect.
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
0

#4265 User is offline   Illuyankas 

  • Retro Classic
  • Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
  • Posts: 7,254
  • Joined: 28-September 04
  • Will cluck you up

Posted 13 May 2010 - 03:14 AM

I can't get any sleep because my dick is bleeding.

But at least my dick is alrighFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
1

#4266 User is offline   Loki 

  • Knight Commander of Team Quick Ben
  • Group: Team Quick Ben
  • Posts: 1,483
  • Joined: 16-September 02
  • Location:Alpha Quadrant
  • WWQBDFTW?

Posted 13 May 2010 - 03:54 AM

I was going to complain about something but seeing as my genitals aren't chaffed or bleeding I think I may just be happy with that instead.....

Wry, on 29 February 2012 - 10:50 AM, said:

And you're not complaining, you're criticizing. It's a side-effect of being better than everyone else, I get it sometimes too.

~TQB~
0

#4267 User is offline   Illuyankas 

  • Retro Classic
  • Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
  • Posts: 7,254
  • Joined: 28-September 04
  • Will cluck you up

Posted 13 May 2010 - 04:02 AM

Not the best welcome back in the world, but hey!

Also now I'm going to curl into a ball and wait for death. Or breakfast. Whichever gets here first.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
0

#4268 User is offline   Loki 

  • Knight Commander of Team Quick Ben
  • Group: Team Quick Ben
  • Posts: 1,483
  • Joined: 16-September 02
  • Location:Alpha Quadrant
  • WWQBDFTW?

Posted 13 May 2010 - 04:07 AM

 Illuyankas, on 13 May 2010 - 04:02 AM, said:


Also now I'm going to curl into a ball and wait for death. Or breakfast. Whichever gets here first.



In my experience death tends to come first.....probably has to do with the fact that I don't have slaves to cook for me anymore and bring me breakfast in bed. Life can be cruel.

Wry, on 29 February 2012 - 10:50 AM, said:

And you're not complaining, you're criticizing. It's a side-effect of being better than everyone else, I get it sometimes too.

~TQB~
0

#4269 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

  • Throatwobbler Mangrove
  • Group: Grumpy Old Sods
  • Posts: 5,600
  • Joined: 02-July 06
  • Location:The Emerald City
  • Interests:Quiet desperation and self-loathing

Posted 13 May 2010 - 04:20 AM

So as far as dingus related injuries Illy has me beat byt a mile. Still, having to go up to my sister-in-law and ask if she has anything in her baby bag for my raw schlong was akward. She actually had something for chaffing, which I then had to take into the bathroom to apply, with everyone outside knowing I was in there rubbing the medicine I stole from the baby on my prick. Akward.

It's a little odd that Illy's penis issue wouln't have happened if he was circumcised, and mine only happened because I was.

So, Illy, now that you're clipped, you get to worry about things rubbing the tip of your johnson raw. Enjoy that.
Error: Signature not valid
1

#4270 User is offline   worry 

  • Master of the Deck
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 14,806
  • Joined: 24-February 10
  • Location:the buried west

Posted 13 May 2010 - 04:29 AM

 Raymond Luxury Yacht, on 13 May 2010 - 04:20 AM, said:

having to go up to my sister-in-law and ask if she has anything in her baby bag for my raw schlong was akward.


That is the worst euphemism I have ever heard.
They came with white hands and left with red hands.
1

#4271 User is offline   MTS 

  • Fourth Investiture
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 4,334
  • Joined: 02-April 07
  • Location:Terra Australis

Posted 13 May 2010 - 04:38 AM

Writing a paper on the effects of binge drinking whilst incredibly hungover is not as effective a strategy as I would have hoped.

No schlong injuries over here.

This post has been edited by MTS: 13 May 2010 - 04:40 AM

Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.

Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades.
0

#4272 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

  • Throatwobbler Mangrove
  • Group: Grumpy Old Sods
  • Posts: 5,600
  • Joined: 02-July 06
  • Location:The Emerald City
  • Interests:Quiet desperation and self-loathing

Posted 13 May 2010 - 05:04 AM

 worrywort, on 13 May 2010 - 04:29 AM, said:

 Raymond Luxury Yacht, on 13 May 2010 - 04:20 AM, said:

having to go up to my sister-in-law and ask if she has anything in her baby bag for my raw schlong was akward.


That is the worst euphemism I have ever heard.

Ha! I didn't realize how bad that sentence looked until you pointed it out. I of course meant the bag in which she keeps things for her baby.
Error: Signature not valid
0

#4273 User is offline   Tapper 

  • Lover of High House Mafia
  • Group: High House Mafia
  • Posts: 6,679
  • Joined: 29-June 04
  • Location:Delft, Holland.

Posted 13 May 2010 - 10:21 AM

Going for a short holiday today, and I have way too many vegetables and cheese that I can't freeze in, but will get sick of if I eat them. Nor can I stash them in the bin, as I won't be home by the day the garbage collectors come by.

So, here I am, chewing cheese with cucumber and cherry tomatoes.

This post has been edited by Tapper: 13 May 2010 - 10:21 AM

Everyone is entitled to his own wrong opinion. - Lizrad
0

#4274 User is offline   Centzon Totochtin 

  • For Pony!
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 188
  • Joined: 13-August 06
  • Location:Sydney, Aus
  • Interests:Stuff, and sometimes also things.
  • Bunnies!

Posted 13 May 2010 - 10:23 AM

I'm grumpy at my friends for saying "come play online with us" then ignoring me for 40 minutes when I couldn't do quests without them. *pouts*

This post has been edited by Centzon Totochtin: 13 May 2010 - 10:24 AM

That Elephant is looking rather frayed at the edges
0

#4275 User is offline   Aptorian 

  • How 'bout a hug?
  • Group: The Wheelchairs of War
  • Posts: 24,785
  • Joined: 22-May 06

Posted 13 May 2010 - 10:25 AM

This thread has given me a new-found appreciation of my healthy foreskin.
1

#4276 User is offline   Illuyankas 

  • Retro Classic
  • Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
  • Posts: 7,254
  • Joined: 28-September 04
  • Will cluck you up

Posted 13 May 2010 - 11:54 AM

 Raymond Luxury Yacht, on 13 May 2010 - 04:20 AM, said:

It's a little odd that Illy's penis issue wouln't have happened if he was circumcised, and mine only happened because I was.

So, Illy, now that you're clipped, you get to worry about things rubbing the tip of your johnson raw. Enjoy that.

Actually I'm glad that I wasn't circumcised first, as the precise nature of the injury would have scarred something that wasn't removable by surgery if I had been. It served its purpose and I'm happy to have had it.

But yes I am enjoying the constant rubbing, actually more than the repeated changing of loose boxers to wear ones that aren't able to stand up by themselves thanks to all the dried blood. Enjoy your lunch.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
0

#4277 User is offline   Slow Ben 

  • Ranger
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 4,775
  • Joined: 29-September 08
  • Location:Southern Illinois

Posted 13 May 2010 - 01:54 PM

Mmmmmm, yeah, the first half of that breakfast burrito tasted better than the second.
I've always been crazy but its kept me from going insane.
0

#4278 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

  • Faith, Heavy Metal & Bacon
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 12,373
  • Joined: 08-October 04
  • Location:T'North

Posted 13 May 2010 - 05:46 PM

Body aching all over from the gym.

But at least my wang is in working order, unlike Illy.
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
0

#4279 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

  • Throatwobbler Mangrove
  • Group: Grumpy Old Sods
  • Posts: 5,600
  • Joined: 02-July 06
  • Location:The Emerald City
  • Interests:Quiet desperation and self-loathing

Posted 13 May 2010 - 05:53 PM

 Tiste Simeon, on 13 May 2010 - 05:46 PM, said:

Body aching all over from the gym.

But at least my wang is in working order, unlike Illy.


Your lack of concern for my wang saddens me.
Error: Signature not valid
0

#4280 User is offline   Jusentantaka 

  • Emperor
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 863
  • Joined: 25-October 09

Posted 13 May 2010 - 06:10 PM

Is there some reason we should be concerned about Lil' Wiggler? :)


Quote

Actually I'm glad that I wasn't circumcised first, as the precise nature of the injury would have scarred something that wasn't removable by surgery if I had been. It served its purpose and I'm happy to have had it.


And this is a new one for that ever popular and always pointless internet debate. Foreskin as trauma plate. I sure as fuck never would have considered it.
0

Share this topic:


  • 1553 Pages +
  • « First
  • 212
  • 213
  • 214
  • 215
  • 216
  • Last »
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

9 User(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 9 guests, 0 anonymous users