Malazan Empire: What's messing with your groove? - Malazan Empire

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What's messing with your groove?

#3121 User is offline   Darkwatch 

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Posted 09 January 2010 - 11:18 PM

Yes it is, when it comes out. After that though....
The Pub is Always Open

Proud supporter of the Wolves of Winter. Glory be to her Majesty, The Lady Snow.
Cursed Summer returns. The Lady Now Sleeps.

The Sexy Thatch Burning Physicist

Τον Πρωτος Αληθη Δεσποτην της Οικιας Αυτος

RodeoRanch said:

You're a rock.
A non-touching itself rock.
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#3122 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 09 January 2010 - 11:32 PM

Good thing I was keeping it clean anyway. Also I think I'll be going tomorrow instead of Monday, as it's 11:30pm now. If my doctor's isn't open, there's a hospital about ten minutes from there I'll be heading to.

I've made a more through examination - the last description is a little incorrect - but I'll spare you the details.





Jesus, the wound is ugly.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
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#3123 User is offline   RodeoRanch 

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Posted 09 January 2010 - 11:34 PM

Your internet friends are concerned about your penis.
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#3124 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 09 January 2010 - 11:38 PM

It's been an odd day.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
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#3125 User is offline   Darkwatch 

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Posted 09 January 2010 - 11:44 PM

We're a caring bunch.
The Pub is Always Open

Proud supporter of the Wolves of Winter. Glory be to her Majesty, The Lady Snow.
Cursed Summer returns. The Lady Now Sleeps.

The Sexy Thatch Burning Physicist

Τον Πρωτος Αληθη Δεσποτην της Οικιας Αυτος

RodeoRanch said:

You're a rock.
A non-touching itself rock.
0

#3126 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 10 January 2010 - 12:45 AM

...Attached File  emot-gonk.gif (365bytes)
Number of downloads: 8
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
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#3127 User is offline   Ain't_It_Just_ 

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Posted 10 January 2010 - 12:47 AM

I have decided that Illy's penis occludes all other concerns.

Godspeed, penis.
Suck it Errant!


"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."

QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.


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#3128 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 10 January 2010 - 02:23 AM

Somebody who has his number call Illy and harangue him until he goes to the hospital.

Even better, someone with his address call an ambulance ... :nono:
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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#3129 User is offline   MTS 

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Posted 10 January 2010 - 02:44 AM

Milk was a bad choice...
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.

Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades.
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#3130 User is offline   Urb 

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Posted 10 January 2010 - 03:49 AM

View PostSlow Ben, on 09 January 2010 - 10:22 PM, said:

I'm about to friggin yak reading Illy's posts.


Stay strong brother!

I acnt stomp laughting :)
The leader, his audience still,
considered their scholarly will.
He lowered his head
and with anguish he said,
"But how will we teach them to kill?"


-some poet on reddit
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#3131 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 10 January 2010 - 03:50 AM

I assume you laugh when you get kicked in the nuts?
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
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#3132 User is offline   Urb 

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Posted 10 January 2010 - 03:52 AM

no
but i do whe isee it on tbv
The leader, his audience still,
considered their scholarly will.
He lowered his head
and with anguish he said,
"But how will we teach them to kill?"


-some poet on reddit
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#3133 User is offline   Centzon Totochtin 

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Posted 11 January 2010 - 09:49 AM

I slipped, fell and hit my head on something I think. It hurts now :)

I may go lie down....

Stupid falling!
That Elephant is looking rather frayed at the edges
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#3134 User is offline   Adjutant Stormy~ 

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Posted 11 January 2010 - 10:26 AM

From the sound of it I thought Illy got his dick stuck in a car door or something horrible.

Messing: TIME ZONE SHIFTS
<!--quoteo(post=462161:date=Nov 1 2008, 06:13 PM:name=Aptorian)--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE (Aptorian @ Nov 1 2008, 06:13 PM) <a href="index.php?act=findpost&pid=462161"><{POST_SNAPBACK}></a></div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->God damn. Mighty drunk. Must ... what is the english movement movement movement for drunk... with out you seemimg drunk?

bla bla bla

Peopleare harrasing me... grrrrrh.

Also people with big noses aren't jews, they're just french

EDIT: We has editted so mucj that5 we're not quite sure... also, leave britney alone.<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->
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#3135 User is offline   Satan 

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Posted 11 January 2010 - 10:29 AM

I'm wondering, what sort of vagina manages to leave a gash in a lads foreskin? Oh, wait. Wikipedia has the answer. On that note: Run, Illy! Run! You might be in a porn movie right now, but it's a porn movie directed by a feminist. You do not want to be in the male casting of a feminist porn movie.
Legalise drugs! And murder!
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#3136 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 11 January 2010 - 12:40 PM

I broke up with the gf. It seriously sucks, but it was the right decision...
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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#3137 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 11 January 2010 - 12:46 PM

Illy's Injury Update

Spoiler


Warning: The previous spoiler box contains scenes of a disgusting nature. You are advised not to have read the previous information if you are sensitive to details of nauseating injuries.

This post has been edited by Illuyankas: 11 January 2010 - 12:46 PM

Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
0

#3138 User is offline   Satan 

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Posted 11 January 2010 - 01:04 PM

Do the circumcision. It might look odd, and possibly scar badly given that you're doing it at this late stage, but at least you wont have to holes to put your head through. That's just disgusting. Also, on the upside, with circumcision you'll probably go far in the banking business or movies.

This post has been edited by Brynjar: 11 January 2010 - 01:04 PM

Legalise drugs! And murder!
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#3139 User is offline   masan's saddle 

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Posted 11 January 2010 - 01:47 PM

Have you sought recompense from the young lady who inflicted this heinous injury on your bangstick ?

My sympathies are with Lil' Illy at this difficult time.

(Hmm, if you say Lil' Illy fast enough, it sounds like a restaurant district in New York)
Now all the friends that you knew in school they used to be so cool, now they just bore you.
Just look at em' now, already pullin' the plow. So quick to take to grain, like some old mule.
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#3140 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 11 January 2010 - 01:57 PM

View Postmasan, on 11 January 2010 - 01:47 PM, said:

Have you sought recompense from the young lady who inflicted this heinous injury on your bangstick ?

She's currently avoiding contact with me, probably out of embarassment (seriously she was so far out of my league I kind of have to not think about her to avoid the searing pain from the reaction to remembering how fun most of that night was), but I'd probably forgive her.

Who am I kidding, she's in a skip decomposing.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
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