[Maark Abbott]

 Lady Bliss, on 07 November 2023 - 09:56 PM, said:

Sorry to hear that Maark. You've really had a rough go of it this last year.

We'll get there. It's just getting dogpiled with shit that's making my shoulders sag beneath the weight of it all.

We have to remortgage next year as well, so I'm desperately hoping wife will land a full time role soon, otherwise we're faced with a much worse situation come August.

[amphibian]

 Maark Abbott, on 08 November 2023 - 09:59 AM, said:

 Lady Bliss, on 07 November 2023 - 09:56 PM, said:

Sorry to hear that Maark. You've really had a rough go of it this last year.

We'll get there. It's just getting dogpiled with shit that's making my shoulders sag beneath the weight of it all.

We have to remortgage next year as well, so I'm desperately hoping wife will land a full time role soon, otherwise we're faced with a much worse situation come August.

I think you gotta go talk to a lawyer about the garage and the fixing of the car.

I hope the bad luck veers elsewhere for a while and that your partner gets a full time role soon.

[Maark Abbott]

 amphibian, on 08 November 2023 - 01:23 PM, said:

 Maark Abbott, on 08 November 2023 - 09:59 AM, said:

 Lady Bliss, on 07 November 2023 - 09:56 PM, said:

Sorry to hear that Maark. You've really had a rough go of it this last year.

We'll get there. It's just getting dogpiled with shit that's making my shoulders sag beneath the weight of it all.

We have to remortgage next year as well, so I'm desperately hoping wife will land a full time role soon, otherwise we're faced with a much worse situation come August.

I think you gotta go talk to a lawyer about the garage and the fixing of the car.

I hope the bad luck veers elsewhere for a while and that your partner gets a full time role soon.

Me too tbh. One of my pals is a solicitor in town so I might get her take on it.

And cheers, here's hoping stuff looks up for us soon. We need a bit of good luck for a change tbh!

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

Really hope some good luck comes your way Maark, my word have you both had a rotten time of it.

[Cause]

The women Im dating... Im not beeing ghosted but I feel like I am experiencing one step shy of it. Im sure it has a name I just dont know what it is. In between dates she is very uncommunicative, which I am not wholly against we dont need to speak every day but this is more extreme than that. She communicates very briefly but she does initiate first sometimes its just a conversation that has no real substance. We might exchange a clip of a comedian we discussed on a date or something like that. After our first date I messaged her later that evening to say I had a good time, this is my move, if I had a good time I say so and try to avoid games. She has texted me back after every date since something similar. She gets home sooner than I do as I always walk her partly back to her place. That too me would be a good sign. However we have never gone on a date during the weekend, she somehow always makes clear she is not available then even before I ask. When plan to go bowling after dinner dint work out she suggested we plan our next date around bowling. I tried asking her out for tonight and she said she wasn't free Thursdays or Fridays but we could try next week (again skipping the possibility of the weekend entirely). She initiates conversations but is generally uncommunicative via text, she suggest future dates but never anything concrete, she messages me after every date saying she had a good time. It feels confusing though, like someone doing all the right things but not meaning them. Im wondering if this is dating awkwardness on her part or if she is just too polite or passive to break it off.

I am about to write a message to basically just say I had hoped things were going well but I feel like she is maybe just not that into me and see what she says. Ill try and figure out how to ask it slightly better. My dating life sucks.

[Lady Bliss]

From my experience I think she’s not into it. That’s about how I act if I’m not really into someone. I’d cut your losses and find someone that really appreciates you.

This post has been edited by Lady Bliss: 09 November 2023 - 07:59 PM

[amphibian]

I think in dating terms, you're a possibility and there's a few other possibilities like you and/or someone she's putting a bunch of time and effort into. My view is that you've got 3 paths - 1) walk away and find someone else, 2) be clear about what you want and see what you are willing to do that catches her interest more, 3) pitch a FWB thing and go find other people to date.

[Abyss]

 Cause, on 09 November 2023 - 07:49 PM, said:

The women Im dating... My dating life sucks.

Yes/no - she's not saying yes to everything you suggest, but she's not flat out saying no or latering you either.

 amphibian, on 09 November 2023 - 08:01 PM, said:

I think in dating terms, you're a possibility and there's a few other possibilities like you and/or someone she's putting a bunch of time and effort into. My view is that you've got 3 paths - 1) walk away and find someone else, 2) be clear about what you want and see what you are willing to do that catches her interest more, 3) pitch a FWB thing and go find other people to date.

THIS^

If you don't want to compete Cause, that's fine. But otherwise my interp is you're in the interest-zone but you're not alone there. She hasn't said no yet (not now is not no). You want this, pursue her (romantically, not in a creepy way) and stop worrying about which nights she's free and what she's doing. She's not free Saturday, k fine, pick some other night. She didn't refuse to go out w you. If you can't work with that, bail, she's not where you want to be.

[Cause]

I decided to just be direct and ask. She says she was flattered but isn't ready to settle down yet and realizes that would be unfair to me. Standard response which is little funny in this case because we have only been on 5 dates or something. So hardly talking about marriage or anything so the response just feels bizarre. The Its not you its me form letter seems to be the better response at this early stage. Still I got what I needed, she is just not that into it. Better to move on.

I contemplated the possibility of her seeing someone else but really it doesnt matter, if we were still having a great time and she was enthusiastic about seeing me I wouldnt even be asking this question. If there is someone else they are the focus and if there isnt someone else I still dont seem to be the focus.

[Maark Abbott]

60mph wind warnings tomorrow as Debi tracks across the UK. My anxiety is very weather focused given the issues we've had in the past with the house, so of course I am a bit of a mess today.

[Macros]

60mph isn't bad wind Maark, genuinely I'd just advise stop checking the weather, it's always spun as a world ending hurricane or snowstorm or flood, rarely is

[amphibian]

 Macros, on 13 November 2023 - 02:22 PM, said:

60mph isn't bad wind Maark, genuinely I'd just advise stop checking the weather, it's always spun as a world ending hurricane or snowstorm or flood, rarely is

60 mph winds can cause roofing damage and get quite a few big branches or smaller trees down in inconvenient places.

It's not catastrophic, yet it's worth watching and checking things over for damage.

I have a picture of a 40 foot tree that fell over at a friend's house in 50+ mph winds. It grazed the house and thwacked a garden plot of their neighbor.

[Cause]

My friend who I have been having the troubles with that I mentioned previously messaged me a little bit earlier. On the chance that she is struggling I have expressed support and tried giving her the benefit of the doubt and not brought up the issue again which she has completely ignored over the last two months since we last spoke about it. As I cant have a one way conversation I have mostly kept to not reaching out untill she replies to the last message I sent her. She replied to a a few messages I sent her 11 days ago wishing her well on her vacation and answering a few questions she had asked, including mentioning I would be going to Vegas for a long weekend next month.

Her message was a greeting, a question asking if I have seen a particular TV show and than she asks why I didnt invite her to Vegas, followed by a question asking if we are still friends. The tone of the first two questions seem like an attempt to reach out I dont know what to make of the tone of the last two questions. I don't think it was her intent but they seem mocking rather than playful, and in light of the nature of the issue I have previously raised just a generally wierd thing to say.

Im trying to decide what to reply but dont even know how to interpret the message.

[Lady Bliss]

 Cause, on 13 November 2023 - 11:57 PM, said:

My friend who I have been having the troubles with that I mentioned previously messaged me a little bit earlier. On the chance that she is struggling I have expressed support and tried giving her the benefit of the doubt and not brought up the issue again which she has completely ignored over the last two months since we last spoke about it. As I cant have a one way conversation I have mostly kept to not reaching out untill she replies to the last message I sent her. She replied to a a few messages I sent her 11 days ago wishing her well on her vacation and answering a few questions she had asked, including mentioning I would be going to Vegas for a long weekend next month.

Her message was a greeting, a question asking if I have seen a particular TV show and than she asks why I didnt invite her to Vegas, followed by a question asking if we are still friends. The tone of the first two questions seem like an attempt to reach out I dont know what to make of the tone of the last two questions. I don't think it was her intent but they seem mocking rather than playful, and in light of the nature of the issue I have previously raised just a generally wierd thing to say.

Im trying to decide what to reply but dont even know how to interpret the message.

Since it’s a text message it’s easy to put different tones of voice behind what you’re reading. I would assume she was just playing.

[amphibian]

 Cause, on 13 November 2023 - 11:57 PM, said:

My friend who I have been having the troubles with that I mentioned previously messaged me a little bit earlier. On the chance that she is struggling I have expressed support and tried giving her the benefit of the doubt and not brought up the issue again which she has completely ignored over the last two months since we last spoke about it. As I cant have a one way conversation I have mostly kept to not reaching out untill she replies to the last message I sent her. She replied to a a few messages I sent her 11 days ago wishing her well on her vacation and answering a few questions she had asked, including mentioning I would be going to Vegas for a long weekend next month.

Her message was a greeting, a question asking if I have seen a particular TV show and than she asks why I didnt invite her to Vegas, followed by a question asking if we are still friends. The tone of the first two questions seem like an attempt to reach out I dont know what to make of the tone of the last two questions. I don't think it was her intent but they seem mocking rather than playful, and in light of the nature of the issue I have previously raised just a generally wierd thing to say.

Im trying to decide what to reply but dont even know how to interpret the message.

The Vegas question and the are we still friends question are the same question of "Have I damaged the relationship enough that I should go away?". She's someone who doesn't get directly to the point and yet within this response you get a pretty serious decision point here.

I would be wary of doing too much. Don't go over the top, promising you'll be friends forever etc.

"Hi. It didn't seem like the right fit at the time to invite you to Vegas. Sure, we're still friends. What's been fun lately?"

Light-hearted, true, not rejecting, not committing to anything.

Then you walk away and let her deal with her end. Good luck.

[Maark Abbott]

First day back at work after leave was hell. Loads to do, loads to catch up on and other departments actively ignoring instructions as to how they're to approach us (seemingly for their own fucking amusement) left me feeling like I was having a full on panic attack by the end of the day.

[Maark Abbott]

 Macros, on 13 November 2023 - 02:22 PM, said:

60mph isn't bad wind Maark, genuinely I'd just advise stop checking the weather, it's always spun as a world ending hurricane or snowstorm or flood, rarely is

Unfortunately, anxiety is not a beast that listens to reason or logic.

Oh yeah and now the point of sale garage has quoted clutch repair at nearly £2000. Halfords is closer to £1000 but still, more shit I didn't need.

Do not EVER buy from Cars2. E V E R. Scamming cunts.

[Macros]

One of my best friends just messaged me.
Diagnosed with ALS.

[Cause]

Well it continues. I spoke to my friend but just ignored the question about 'are we still friends'. There seemed no way to tackle that without bringing up the whole issue directly which on the off chance she is just depressed and going through a really bad time I decided to not bring up again. So I just responded to the rest of message. Asked her about her vacation. Spoke about my job search.

She mentioned a movie she wanted to see and asked if I wanted to watch it with her. This is something we have done in the past where we watch the same show at the same time and talk about it despite being in different countries. I figured on the whole this was her trying to reach out without addressing everything that happened. I thought it was a start at least. Well the conversation happened around Wednesday/Thursday with me asking her what time suited her and she said Sunday and I confirmed Sunday would work for me. She never responded after that and in fact I believe she hasn't even read the message I sent on Thursdays. The worst part about this is I realize I never really expected it to happen.

The only communication we have had since Thursday was her writing in a group friend chat we are both apart five minutes ago, asking if any of us knew a person who apparently sent her a strange message.

I feel passive aggressive in not following up about our plans, but as I have explained I have confronted her about the issue and she pretended or made out it didn't exist. This felt like an olive branch from her side but she didn't follow through and I cant force her too. If she is depressed I have told her she can count on me as she has before but I cant make her confide me, I have asked her if she is still speaking to her therapist and suggested she should speak to someone.

[Cause]

 Macros, on 19 November 2023 - 11:55 AM, said:

One of my best friends just messaged me.
Diagnosed with ALS.

Really sorry to hear this. Awful news.

Your friend will need your support and I want to stress I don't say this to give false hope but ALS is misdiagnosed I think more than ten percent of the time. Your friend wouldn't get the ALS diagnosis if there was something wrong but I believe its diagnosed not off of any concrete test but by symptoms and by ruling out other diseases it could potentially be. I bring this up just to mention the importance of your friend making sure that he is diagnosed and treated correctly. It will be a battle for the rest of his life, its important to be sure exactly what is wrong. Probably not helpful to bring it up now and I am sure his doctors know far more than I do but for something this serious I think its worth a conversation.