[Maark Abbott]

Thanks both.

We don't strictly -need- a car but wife's mum lives in Thurnscoe (a good way away), and lacks mobility, so we're generally able to ferry her to brother-in-law's care home, but without us having a car she can't get there.

The one plus is it's spurring wife to jobhunt harder, but this reduces our overall mobility and general ability to do / get stuff, and it also means that until it's sorted I am cut off from visiting family anywhere.

[Tsundoku]

Gothos just asked some questions and you guys came down on him for being an arsehole. He wasn't. Snap overreacting judgements from you toward him is also arseholish, remember.
Don't forget he and his family probably still have delightful recent memories of things like secret police, food shortages and the power being off more than on. So it's a fair question from his perspective. "Lived experience" and all those buzzwords.

Trust me when I say you can clearly tell when hes being an arsehole. Me too for that matter.

Pointing out someone somewhere has it worse is actually a tried and tested process of discussion in (western) civilisation for years, and features quite heavily on this board historically.
Not saying it's necessarily helpful, mind you, just a thing.

And Maark, the smiley was probably just a misplaced emoji. Tone is relative and very, very hard to convey via text unless you're very good or very ... ah, thorough ... and an attempt to express sorry/no hard feeleings/hey we're all good/god knows what probably didn't translate for you. But ascribing that to him taking pleasure about you being in poverty is just plain wrong.

But yeah Maark, your situation truly sucks atm. Problems like to run in packs and they have a nasty form of synergy about them. I hope a couple of things go your way sooner rather than later and you can build up a bit of a financial comfort buffer to ease your mind a bit.
In all honesty with my family's single income - under the national average - living in a major metro area, I am not that far away from you as you might think. I do have a couple of advantages right now which supplement it, but anything can go in an instant. And I am always extremely - painfully at times when the bills gang up on me - cognisant of that.

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 10 March 2023 - 05:33 PM

[worry]

Hate to break it to you guys, but you're ALL

Spoiler

sweethearts!

[Tsundoku]

Oh, that's low.








But not as low as my low, low prices!

[bubba]

Lets all take a deep breath and try to think a bit more about how we word things and how we read things. Life has got significantly harder for most of us and we are living with a lot thinner skin than we did a few years ago. I can only afford to heat one room in my apartment this winter. Read over your posts before hitting send. Could it be miss read? And take a moment to reread a post you think is offensive. Could I be reading something into this post that the poster may not have been trying to say. We have to remember we come from different parts of the world, how people phrase thing mean different things in different parts of the world.

[Maark Abbott]

Telling someone in a bad financial situation that's forcing them to work two jobs that someone else somewhere else would have it worse, or being somewhere else would make their situation worse, doesn't help or change the fact that the person in question is still in a shit situation that doesn't have much light at the end of the tunnel. It doesn't help at all. I'm not somewhere else, but I am still in a shit situation and the only way out of that situation is for wife to get back into work because it seems obvious at this stage we aren't going to get anything from Universal Credit and my income is not enough to sustain a home long term. If my work start expecting me to travel to the office, I can't afford to (no car, public transport too expensive and commute too long) so it puts my job at risk as well.

[Tiste Simeon]

worry, on 10 March 2023 - 10:50 PM, said:

Hate to break it to you guys, but you're ALL

Spoiler

sweethearts!

Lies! No you can't prove that!

[worry]

Freezer/fridge combo died overnight! Now all that's in there is this:

Spoiler

[Abyss]

Not very meaty. Consider soup.

[amphibian]

worry, on 12 March 2023 - 04:50 AM, said:

Freezer/fridge combo died overnight! Now all that's in there is this:

Spoiler

Zow. I hope it's something repairable rather than "need to get new fridge".

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

worry, on 12 March 2023 - 04:50 AM, said:

Freezer/fridge combo died overnight! Now all that's in there is this:

Spoiler

I only use my freezer/fridge for my nuts (in the freezer of course).

Dried/canned/vacuum sealed foods that don't require refrigeration or cooking are more energy-efficient anyway. Though packaging for small servings can be an issue for some foods that can't easily be resealed without needing refrigeration.

Generally cheaper too, and even dried vegetables require minimal preparation time---I just leave them in water for a minute or two.

Wonder if 'fragrant meat' really is very fragrant....

香肉 "fragrant meat" - Wiktionary

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 12 March 2023 - 06:56 PM

[Slow Ben]

Azath Vitr (D, on 12 March 2023 - 06:56 PM, said:

worry, on 12 March 2023 - 04:50 AM, said:

Freezer/fridge combo died overnight! Now all that's in there is this:

Spoiler

I only use my freezer/fridge for my nuts (in the freezer of course).

[/size]
香肉 "fragrant meat" - Wiktionary

I just wear breathable underwear, but to each their own….

This post has been edited by Slow Ben: 12 March 2023 - 08:42 PM

[worry]

amphibian, on 12 March 2023 - 03:39 PM, said:

Zow. I hope it's something repairable rather than "need to get new fridge".

Thank you. It was an old fridge with other things wrong with it too, so I did just replace it.


Can't wait to see Azath's episode of Cribs.

[Tsundoku]

worry, on 13 March 2023 - 05:51 AM, said:

amphibian, on 12 March 2023 - 03:39 PM, said:

Zow. I hope it's something repairable rather than "need to get new fridge".

Thank you. It was an old fridge with other things wrong with it too, so I did just replace it.


Can't wait to see Azath's episode of Cribs.

I'm torn between imagining something from HR Geiger or maybe ...

"Open the garage door Azath."
"I'm sorry Worry, I'm afraid I can't do that."

[Maark Abbott]

Absolutely compounding my stress levels into the stratosphere today:

Company A who bought my contract from Company B want to transfer me fully into Company A which would require going into the office for a bit for systems training. Except I physically cannot do that - my car booked it at MOT, would cost approx 2x the sale value to fix, and a bus journey would run me to £20 for a day and five hours of transport time (two and a half each way) for which I'd receive no recompense for the loss of my time.

And we can't find the ruddy fucking log book to even SORN the cunting thing!

Gee I sure am glad I'm not facing the loss of my job and possibly my house in Bumfuck Anywhere Else right now, really stops me freaking out.

[Maark Abbott]

Just to compound this, because it's visibly stressing me out, it's causing stress by proxy for my wife - which is the LAST thing she needs right now.

[Whisperzzzzzzz]

They wouldn't pay for a rental car or car share for a day?

[Mezla PigDog]

Maark Abbott, on 13 March 2023 - 12:44 PM, said:

Absolutely compounding my stress levels into the stratosphere today:

Company A who bought my contract from Company B want to transfer me fully into Company A which would require going into the office for a bit for systems training. Except I physically cannot do that - my car booked it at MOT, would cost approx 2x the sale value to fix, and a bus journey would run me to £20 for a day and five hours of transport time (two and a half each way) for which I'd receive no recompense for the loss of my time.

And we can't find the ruddy fucking log book to even SORN the cunting thing!

Gee I sure am glad I'm not facing the loss of my job and possibly my house in Bumfuck Anywhere Else right now, really stops me freaking out.

Take a deep breath. A bit of systems training and long commute is doable for a few days. A pain in the ass but doable. Assuming the £20 is attainable in the current circumstances. I've been where you have been financially and it feels like everything is collapsing. Work on the assumption you only have to get through a few days of training then it's back to WFH.

You and your wife have been through loads recently. Focus on one step at a time for a little while without looking too far ahead. Easier said than done, I know.

[Maark Abbott]

Mezla PigDog, on 13 March 2023 - 09:49 PM, said:

Maark Abbott, on 13 March 2023 - 12:44 PM, said:

Absolutely compounding my stress levels into the stratosphere today:

Company A who bought my contract from Company B want to transfer me fully into Company A which would require going into the office for a bit for systems training. Except I physically cannot do that - my car booked it at MOT, would cost approx 2x the sale value to fix, and a bus journey would run me to £20 for a day and five hours of transport time (two and a half each way) for which I'd receive no recompense for the loss of my time.

And we can't find the ruddy fucking log book to even SORN the cunting thing!

Gee I sure am glad I'm not facing the loss of my job and possibly my house in Bumfuck Anywhere Else right now, really stops me freaking out.

Take a deep breath. A bit of systems training and long commute is doable for a few days. A pain in the ass but doable. Assuming the £20 is attainable in the current circumstances. I've been where you have been financially and it feels like everything is collapsing. Work on the assumption you only have to get through a few days of training then it's back to WFH.

You and your wife have been through loads recently. Focus on one step at a time for a little while without looking too far ahead. Easier said than done, I know.

The problem is it's not. £20 is half a week's food for us. Going in for a few days means we don't eat for a week. The company doesn't reimburse. So basically, my choices are go in and starve for a week, or be unable to go and risk having no job at all.

I work in law. I shouldn't be in a position like this.

[Mezla PigDog]

You definitely shouldn't be in this position, I agree.

I did a poor job over what I was trying to say above. What I meant was, that £20 to get into work as a one off is critical for keeping your job. So don't be too proud to ask someone for a favour if it comes to it. Obviously you won't be asking people every time you want to do something outside your basic expenses but that £20 is critical. You've had a really bad run, so nothing wrong with asking someone to indefinitely lend you £20.

Sorry you are in this situation though. The UK is shite, especially if you don't meet eligibility for any benefits while your wife is out of work.