[Lady Bliss]

Tiste Simeon, on 07 July 2022 - 05:55 PM, said:

Dang Lady Bliss that's tough. Here if you need to vent ❤️

In similar news my wife's father is going through chemo again for his multiple myeloma. He was initially doing really well with it, having encouraging signs but today he's had to go into hospital as something isn't going quite right. And now he's started with a paranoid thing that he had last time (believed the Doctors were/are plotting against him, believed there was a guy in the corridor talking about blowing something up...)

He's tried to self-discharge from the hospital because he doesn't trust anyone. My mother-in-law who is a wonderful and capable woman but nonetheless 70 years old, is having to babysit him and I don't think she can deal much longer.

The one shining light is that we had a wonderful week with the two of them last month and they got to meet the twins for the first time etc. Means if the worst should happen (I'm somewhat pessimistic though staying strong for my wife) at least she has a really good recent memory of her dad...

So sorry Tiste… chemo is so awful. I understand on your FIL, it’s so hard to see someone you love like that. It’s a blessing that they met the twins.

Edit: can’t figure out how to fix the font.

This post has been edited by Lady Bliss: 07 July 2022 - 07:37 PM

[Lady Bliss]

amphibian, on 07 July 2022 - 06:06 PM, said:

QuickTidal, on 07 July 2022 - 04:30 PM, said:

Lady Bliss, on 07 July 2022 - 04:14 PM, said:

Unfortunately she has a habit of freezing people out. She refuses contact with her family, and anyways they are in the UK. The only person I really have is my step brother.

Then I'd make sure your stepbrother can trade off with you for caring for her so that you don't burn out. Caregiver burnout is a real thing, my father-in-law went through it when his wife was sick before she passed.

Are you able to get a home care worker to come in to cue her to do laundry, make meals, keep up a house (meaning help her to do what she can and do the rest)? That is what I'd been doing with my grandmother, who also has Alzheimer's, for about a year.

I got a new job recently that stops me from coming over 2x a week for the day, so I've been trying without success to get my stubborn mother to hire someone (the funds are there and always have been) and get herself the breaks she needs to not burn out.

It hasn't worked in my family due to the stubbornness, but it can really make life a lot easier with your mother. Having everyone's memories of the last years of that person's life be soaked in bitterness, pain, resentment, burnout, and frustration is something I actively worked to avoid. I think it's worth it for the burden lightening and the increased endurance + patience you'll be able to have.

Luckily the basic things she is still fine on most of the time, and she refuses assisted living. She finally has responded to me so I know she’s ok, but she refuses to say she loves me, and doesn’t seem to want me around at the moment. Easter was the worst because she later admitted that I was the only one she recognized. That was the worst so far, and mostly she has good days where she seems to be getting on for herself. I don’t know when you can get the courts to order her to give me legal standing to call the shots, but I know we aren’t there yet. She has an appointment with her GP on Monday and I am giving them a heads up on what we are seeing since she won’t have me there with her. Thankfully she did sell her car a couple months ago so she isn’t driving anymore.

[Lady Bliss]

QuickTidal, on 07 July 2022 - 06:32 PM, said:

Tiste Simeon, on 07 July 2022 - 05:55 PM, said:

Dang Lady Bliss that's tough. Here if you need to vent ❤️

In similar news my wife's father is going through chemo again for his multiple myeloma. He was initially doing really well with it, having encouraging signs but today he's had to go into hospital as something isn't going quite right. And now he's started with a paranoid thing that he had last time (believed the Doctors were/are plotting against him, believed there was a guy in the corridor talking about blowing something up...)

He's tried to self-discharge from the hospital because he doesn't trust anyone. My mother-in-law who is a wonderful and capable woman but nonetheless 70 years old, is having to babysit him and I don't think she can deal much longer.

The one shining light is that we had a wonderful week with the two of them last month and they got to meet the twins for the first time etc. Means if the worst should happen (I'm somewhat pessimistic though staying strong for my wife) at least she has a really good recent memory of her dad...

Brutal. I'm sorry you and your wife and family are going through this.

I may as well add my messed with groove to the pot too, my mom has decided to stop Chemo for her pancreatic cancer...it's ravaging her body too much and she ends up in the hospital fighting infections every week...so she'll get off chemo and then we will have whatever time she had left before the cancer progresses and kills her.

I'm really sad about it, but it's her decision and her quality of life that's at stake...and who am I to begrudge that she wants her remaining time here with us to not be sick from Chemo all the time...

Sorry to see that it has been so bad for her. This all has happened so quickly for you, you must feel like you’ve been hit by a bus. I think I would probably consider the same choice she is making after watching my Nana go through it, but it’s such a personal decision.

[worry]

Man, you guys are going through a lot of rough stuff. Everyone else said it better, but I would echo those notes about burnout.

[Lady Bliss]

Thanks for letting me vent yesterday folks. I took your advice and called my step brother last night, told him about it all and had a good cry. He sympathized from our mutual experiences with mom the last year, and told me how he could help. While I know we can’t fix anything, it felt better knowing I’m not alone in all of this.

[Whisperzzzzzzz]

The dog woke up in the middle of the night, like she usually does. I happened to be awake, so watched as... She shook off, like she usually does. She walked toward the ramp to get off the bed, like she usually does. She went to the door and lightly scratched at it to let me know she needed to go to the bathroom, like she usually does. I got up and let her out, like I usually do. She stopped before the ramp and peed on the bed before I could stop her, unlike she usually does.

This post has been edited by Whisperzzzzzzz: 09 July 2022 - 03:03 PM

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

'The outpour of reactions on Japanese social media ran the gauntlet from sorrow to anger to accusations that the suspect must have been an ethnic Korean. A viral tweet from an Abe fan account said, "The result of us Japanese being so drunk on peace is that we couldn't protect Mr. Abe." Japan's right wing is enraged, and its left is sorrowful and fearful.

The nearly unfathomable potential ripple effects extend from Sunday's election to every facet of Japan's future. [...] The former prime minister aggressively consolidated power and control over the media during his tenure, and he was investigated several times for election law violations.'

Shinzo Abe assassination: Japan's former prime minister being shot and killed will haunt the nation. (slate.com)

[worry]

It appears he was killed over religious matters due to perceived ties to a particular organization that damaged the killer's family (whether or not those ties are real). But I suppose he'll make a great fascist martyr anyway.

[Tiste Simeon]

worry, on 09 July 2022 - 04:35 PM, said:

It appears he was killed over religious matters due to perceived ties to a particular organization that damaged the killer's family (whether or not those ties are real). But I suppose he'll make a great fascist martyr anyway.

I mean he was a bit of a Nationalist and denier of war atrocities committed by Japan in WWII so he's bound to have caused a number of people to be somewhat upset with him...

[worry]

It appears to not be any of that. The killer’s mom joined the Moonies who proceeded to bankrupt her, being a money siphoning cult, and the dude was mad for those very niche reasons. Not that there can’t be broader implications or ripple effects, in fact that seems inevitable, but this doesn’t seem to be an assassination along any particularly partisan lines like one might expect. Unless the reporting is also wrong or limited, which could always be the case.

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

worry, on 09 July 2022 - 08:43 PM, said:

It appears to not be any of that. The killer's mom joined the Moonies who proceeded to bankrupt her, being a money siphoning cult, and the dude was mad for those very niche reasons. Not that there can't be broader implications or ripple effects, in fact that seems inevitable, but this doesn't seem to be an assassination along any particularly partisan lines like one might expect. Unless the reporting is also wrong or limited, which could always be the case.

Far right will claim it's a conspiracy by the evil [insert 'enemies' here] to cover up the 'true motivations'....

[Malankazooie]

Well isn't this just lovely. Isn't it great when the thermometer surpasses the three digit threshold and overnight the oven you're sleeping in doesn't drop below 80? Also love that feeling when you go outside the next morning and it has that still, oppressive feeling that says, "yep, its going to be another hot one."

[Mezla PigDog]

It's too hot. I have felt drugged the last few days. Longing for office work so I can go and sit in the air conditioning.

[QuickTidal]

Mezla PigDog, on 13 July 2022 - 06:23 AM, said:

It's too hot. I have felt drugged the last few days. Longing for office work so I can go and sit in the air conditioning.

The worst thing about heat in England when I was there back in '09 was the fact that none of the convenience stores you have to buy cold drinks in had proper fridges with doors on them to keep things properly cold...everything was an open fridge that kept things AT BEST luke warm....it was tedious and it was everywhere we went. Is this just stores being cheap and not wanting to pay higher electricity bills for real fridges? It was bizarre. If you go to get a cold drink in Canada it's ICY cold every time.

[Azath Vitr (D'ivers]

Another 'DeSantis beating Trump in poll on 2024 presidential primary' article piqued my interest (especially with DeSantis winning by a large margin)... and again the article failed to explicitly (or clearly) state that the poll was limited to a single state (this time it was even worse---Florida itself, which is of course DeSantis's home state...).

[Malankazooie]

Better start getting comfortable with hearing: "I, Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

[Mezla PigDog]

QuickTidal, on 13 July 2022 - 12:13 PM, said:

Mezla PigDog, on 13 July 2022 - 06:23 AM, said:

It's too hot. I have felt drugged the last few days. Longing for office work so I can go and sit in the air conditioning.

The worst thing about heat in England when I was there back in '09 was the fact that none of the convenience stores you have to buy cold drinks in had proper fridges with doors on them to keep things properly cold...everything was an open fridge that kept things AT BEST luke warm....it was tedious and it was everywhere we went. Is this just stores being cheap and not wanting to pay higher electricity bills for real fridges? It was bizarre. If you go to get a cold drink in Canada it's ICY cold every time.

We have a problem with temperature. We are a temperate country. 90% of the time we're fine then 5% we're too hot and 5% too cold. Maybe trim those percents down to add to the times we are flooded.

[Abyss]

Azath Vitr (D, on 13 July 2022 - 04:21 PM, said:

Another 'DeSantis beating Trump in poll on 2024 presidential primary' article piqued my interest (especially with DeSantis winning by a large margin)... and again the article failed to explicitly (or clearly) state that the poll was limited to a single state (this time it was even worse---Florida itself, which is of course DeSantis's home state...).

Malankazooie, on 13 July 2022 - 09:30 PM, said:

Better start getting comfortable with hearing: "I, Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

Yknow, I used to LIKE and WANT to visit your dumbass country... a lot...

[QuickTidal]

Abyss, on 14 July 2022 - 02:18 AM, said:

Azath Vitr (D, on 13 July 2022 - 04:21 PM, said:

Another 'DeSantis beating Trump in poll on 2024 presidential primary' article piqued my interest (especially with DeSantis winning by a large margin)... and again the article failed to explicitly (or clearly) state that the poll was limited to a single state (this time it was even worse---Florida itself, which is of course DeSantis's home state...).

Malankazooie, on 13 July 2022 - 09:30 PM, said:

Better start getting comfortable with hearing: "I, Tucker Swanson McNear Carlson, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

Yknow, I used to LIKE and WANT to visit your dumbass country... a lot...

My wife has friends in both Arizona and Baltimore and want to go visit them and I'm simply not willing to go into the States anymore.

[worry]

Wow, biased much? Just avoid any place there might be a shooting, or a macho sparring match, or financial exploitation, or police brutality, or ICE & CBP agents on a power trip, or a fascist uprising, and you'll be fine.