Malazan Empire: What's messing with your groove? - Malazan Empire

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What's messing with your groove?

#26041 User is offline   Maark Abbott 

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Posted 10 June 2019 - 12:31 PM

Massive bleed on the brain, so she's basically in a coma.

It was never going to turn out well because it was always a terminal diagnosis, but this has just come out of nowhere and I just don't know what to do.
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#26042 User is offline   Slow Ben 

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Posted 10 June 2019 - 01:00 PM

That really sucks Maark. Sorry bud.
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#26043 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 10 June 2019 - 01:08 PM

Damn Maark, that's awful man. So sorry to hear that.
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#26044 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 10 June 2019 - 02:29 PM

View PostMaark Abbott, on 10 June 2019 - 12:31 PM, said:

Massive bleed on the brain, so she's basically in a coma.

It was never going to turn out well because it was always a terminal diagnosis, but this has just come out of nowhere and I just don't know what to do.


Nothing you can do but be there when needed, Maark. Take it one step at the time. One day, one hour, one minute.
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#26045 User is offline   Maark Abbott 

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Posted 10 June 2019 - 02:38 PM

View PostAptorian, on 10 June 2019 - 02:29 PM, said:

View PostMaark Abbott, on 10 June 2019 - 12:31 PM, said:

Massive bleed on the brain, so she's basically in a coma.

It was never going to turn out well because it was always a terminal diagnosis, but this has just come out of nowhere and I just don't know what to do.


Nothing you can do but be there when needed, Maark. Take it one step at the time. One day, one hour, one minute.


That's just the rub. I feel like I'm abandoning my dad by not being there, but as he pointed out, she's in a coma, she won't know if I'm there and what will it do but upset me if I go.

I don't know what to do.
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#26046 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 10 June 2019 - 02:57 PM

I don't know what kind of obligations you have or where you live in relation to the care facility.

If it's work related or social see if you can take time off but on the other hand you also need to take care of yourself. You need to sleep, eat, pay your bills.

Mind you maybe your dad also wants some last alone time with your mother.

When my father was dying we were in my parents home but we took shifts, sitting by his side while the other went shopping, slept, read or what ever.
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#26047 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 10 June 2019 - 03:33 PM

View PostMaark Abbott, on 10 June 2019 - 02:38 PM, said:

... I feel like I'm abandoning my dad by not being there, but as he pointed out, she's in a coma, she won't know if I'm there and what will it do but upset me if I go.

I don't know what to do.



Sorry you have to go thru this Maark.


My entirely subjective experienced-based thought re this is if you're not sure whether to go or not go, go, because ultimately, however upset you get, you may regret not going more than going.
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#26048 User is offline   TheRetiredBridgeburner 

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Posted 10 June 2019 - 03:53 PM

View PostAbyss, on 10 June 2019 - 03:33 PM, said:

View PostMaark Abbott, on 10 June 2019 - 02:38 PM, said:

... I feel like I'm abandoning my dad by not being there, but as he pointed out, she's in a coma, she won't know if I'm there and what will it do but upset me if I go.

I don't know what to do.



Sorry you have to go thru this Maark.


My entirely subjective experienced-based thought re this is if you're not sure whether to go or not go, go, because ultimately, however upset you get, you may regret not going more than going.


I'm so sorry Maark, what a year you and your family have had.

I was going to say the same thing as Abyss though - better to go, unless you genuinely feel like you can't (in which case there's nothing wrong with that) than be left with "what if I'd gone" after the fact. As others have said, make sure you take care of yourself as well as being there for your dad and wider family. Can't drain from an empty cup and all that.

This post has been edited by TheRetiredBridgeburner: 10 June 2019 - 03:53 PM

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#26049 User is offline   Maark Abbott 

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Posted 10 June 2019 - 05:50 PM

I can go and work will just allow me the time tbh. But it's more a case of she's in a coma, she's not responsive, will that upset me more than not going? I just don't know. Couple in that it'll be a solo journey, it's... Fucking shite
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#26050 User is offline   Blend 

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Posted 10 June 2019 - 06:43 PM

I swear to gods, call centre people are the worst.

So I called Rogers to have them install 6 cable lines in my managers' offices so that they can all have real-time news available to them. They scheduled a pre-inspection, the guy came, scheduled the installation the next day and lo and behold, within a week all 6 lines were installed.

One of the managers then asked to have two additional lines installed for the folks in the Media Relations team. I called and scheduled the pre-inspection visit. The idiot only scheduled it for one line apparently. The guy came in, 2 days before it was scheduled, and then said he'd be back on the day the pre-inspection visit was originally scheduled for installation. That day arrives, guy never shows up. I'm then sick for the following two days, during which he tried to come in for installation. We then spend the next two weeks playing phone tag. I finally call Rogers back. They set up ANOTHER pre-inspection visit. But again, only for one of the lines, despite my very clearly saying this was for two lines. The installer shows up and because he has his trainee with him, and it was a simple install as all he had to do was splice off the lines they had previously installed, so he just went ahead and did it, but that he would come in sometime the following week with the cable boxes. I get a call today from a completely different guy telling me I have to call Rogers to schedule the box installation. So I do that, and the person at Rogers is telling me that she can't schedule the installation of the two boxes at the same time nor without a pre-inspection, so I have to schedule one pre-inspection in the 2-5pm window tomorrow, and 1 in the 2-5pm window on Wednesday, after which the actual installations could be scheduled. Let's not forget that I've already done the pre-inspection and, in fact, the installation of the cables. I literally just need the cable boxes. Installing a box is legitimately coming in, plugging the cable to the back of the box, the box to the back of the TV and to the power source then turning everything on. Should take about 5-10 minutes.

I, of course, have no patience for idiocy, and questioned how it was possible to install 6 lines in one 2-5pm slot but for some reason it's impossible to do 2 lines at once, let alone just coming in to install 2 boxes without having to do a fucking pre-inspection... She put me on hold for 25 minutes, then hung up. Now on the line with these assholes again. I swear to gods if they ask me to set up another pre-inspection I'm gonna fucking lose it.
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#26051 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 10 June 2019 - 06:45 PM

Maybe someone in a coma knows you're there, maybe not.
It doesn't matter, you're not just going for her, you're going for you, and possibly your dad.


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#26052 User is offline   Blend 

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Posted 10 June 2019 - 06:57 PM

Yikes, I see that there's some more serious shit happening!

Maark - my thoughts are with you in what I can only imagine is a very difficult time. To echo what others have said, visiting someone in a coma is not just for them, but for you too. If you have doubts, then it would probably be best to at least go and visit, because if you have doubts and you don't, then you'll always look back at this as a "what if" moment.
There is no struggle too vast, no odds too overwhelming, for even should we fail - should we fall - we will know that we have lived. ~ Anomander Rake
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#26053 User is offline   Maark Abbott 

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Posted 10 June 2019 - 07:03 PM

It's a 300 mile journey but fuck it. I'm going. I'm not hiding up here.
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#26054 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 10 June 2019 - 07:47 PM

I think in the long run you'll be glad. Thoughts are with you Maark.
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#26055 User is offline   Grumble 

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Posted 10 June 2019 - 10:16 PM

View PostMaark Abbott, on 10 June 2019 - 07:03 PM, said:

It's a 300 mile journey but fuck it. I'm going. I'm not hiding up here.



View PostTiste Simeon, on 10 June 2019 - 07:47 PM, said:

I think in the long run you'll be glad. Thoughts are with you Maark.


Echo what others have said, dont have any regrets, your support will be felt and appreciated, best wishes.
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#26056 User is online   Cause 

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Posted 11 June 2019 - 02:41 PM

View PostMaark Abbott, on 10 June 2019 - 05:50 PM, said:

I can go and work will just allow me the time tbh. But it's more a case of she's in a coma, she's not responsive, will that upset me more than not going? I just don't know. Couple in that it'll be a solo journey, it's... Fucking shite


Go for your dad if you can. I'm sure he would appreciate you being around. Someone who can help deal with getting food, dealing with paperwork etc, these little things make a big difference at times like these.
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#26057 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 11 June 2019 - 09:00 PM

Embarrassed and ashamed of our women's soccer team match against Thailand. (13-0). Humiliating another team like that is uncalled for. And will come back to hurt us later on, guarantee it.
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#26058 User is offline   TheRetiredBridgeburner 

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Posted 11 June 2019 - 09:40 PM

Accidentally clicking on something and now my Youtube recommendations being full of Nerdrotic.

I didn't know who he was, but after a couple of quick listens he appears to be someone who exists solely to be angry about everything (pop culture wise at least) and blame it all on feminists because "women are out to ruin my geekdom brah".

Do us all a favour and stay out of the gene pool, yeah? It's troubled enough Posted Image

This post has been edited by TheRetiredBridgeburner: 11 June 2019 - 09:40 PM

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#26059 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 11 June 2019 - 10:26 PM

Don't deny it. You accidentally clicked on it because you were searching for Nerd Erotica weren't you TRB?
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#26060 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 11 June 2019 - 10:37 PM

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