[Andorion]

I am the Bachelorette, on 05 June 2018 - 03:56 AM, said:

Got an infection in my left ear and top back left molar. Idk which one or either is the original source leaving me feeling this horrible almost 6 whole days and the gunk has only been here for the last 2. I'm so exhausted from fever/migraine/coughing/no balance that the thought of going to GP leaves me exhausted. Guess I better though as it's not getting better laying in bed and I sure as shit don't want to lose my hearing or a tooth or wake up dead one day.

You are going to need antibiotics for that
I twisted my ankle badly yesterday. Stepped on a loose paving stone which wobbled and now I can't walk without limping

[Mentalist]

Lady Bliss, on 05 June 2018 - 03:25 AM, said:

Mentalist, on 05 June 2018 - 03:21 AM, said:

Exhausted. 3 games in 2 days.
Mostly against younger kids. I'm getting too old for this crap.

Probably gonna skip out on doing indoor this summer as a third league- I'm feeling that'd be too much, and not really give me too much time to recover between games.

Ugh, getting old sucks.

But you didn’t get hurt?

got rakesd with spiked cleats on the side, but nothing major beyond a bunch of scrapes and lots of muscle pains from pure over-use, no.

[worry]

Anthony Bourdain, suicide at 61.

[Malankazooie]

Damn, that is a shocker.

His Parts Unknown travel/food series on CNN was successful I thought. And I know he left his wife for Asia Argento, but seemed to be legitimately happy with her (had her in a couple of episodes of Parts Unknown). He also was very outspoken and supportive of the #MeToo movement, as I believe Argento has her own story regarding harassment and abuse.

Has there been any information released about the circumstances around why he killed himself.? This one is a head scratcher for sure, because even he stated that his life traveling and dining on fine foods was the best job imaginable.

[amphibian]

Bourdain did not leave his wife for Argento. It was a pretty amicable divorce caused by a lot of things and Ottavia (the woman he was married to) was still in his life on great terms. They were both ok with how things went.

I am up on this because both of them are friends of friends in a particularly niche hobby of mine. They are good people and I'm sorry that he felt so bad that he had to leave permanently.

I'm torn up for his family and friends.

It would be nice if people didn't point fingers at his ex-wife or current partner as the "cause" of this. That doesn't help.

[Vengeance]

amphibian, on 08 June 2018 - 03:59 PM, said:

Bourdain did not leave his wife for Argento. It was a pretty amicable divorce caused by a lot of things and Ottavia (the woman he was married to) was still in his life on great terms. They were both ok with how things went.

I am up on this because both of them are friends of friends in a particularly niche hobby of mine. They are good people and I'm sorry that he felt so bad that he had to leave permanently.

I'm torn up for his family and friends.

It would be nice if people didn't point fingers at his ex-wife or current partner as the "cause" of this. That doesn't help.

I feel sorry for his little girl. I think that she is 11.

[Malankazooie]

amphibian, on 08 June 2018 - 03:59 PM, said:

Bourdain did not leave his wife for Argento. It was a pretty amicable divorce caused by a lot of things and Ottavia (the woman he was married to) was still in his life on great terms. They were both ok with how things went.

I am up on this because both of them are friends of friends in a particularly niche hobby of mine. They are good people and I'm sorry that he felt so bad that he had to leave permanently.

I'm torn up for his family and friends.

It would be nice if people didn't point fingers at his ex-wife or current partner as the "cause" of this. That doesn't help.

Oh, I thought you were going to shit all over him and say he was a bad person and doesn't deserve our sympathy or grief, like you did Total Biscuit and Barbara Bush. Funny how a so called tangentially association with the deceased changes your perspective.

[amphibian]

Total Biscuit helped enable the harassment and abuse of transgender people while also supporting the toxic pit that was GamerGate in the name of "journalistic integrity". Barbara Bush remains the spouse and beneficiary of men who caused the deaths, woundings, and displacement of millions.

Bourdain made it his life's work to go talk to people in a way that wasn't condescending, respected their histories, present situations, and made their futures a bit better by eating food with them and talking. He and his family happened to have some overlap with me - which is not dispositive of their character.i know some people who are criminals and some people who've become abusive scumbags.

If you want to come at me, come with all you got.

This post has been edited by amphibian: 08 June 2018 - 06:04 PM

[Malankazooie]

Everybody's got complicated histories, Bourdain included. It's just a shitty thing to speak bad of someone right after they have died, unless it's someone who has caused egregious harm on humanity or something. Anyway, I always liked Bourdain's work and am bummed he did himself in. Not knowing anything about his situation (mental illness? drug addiction?), it's sort of a shitty and selfish thing to do to an 11 year old daughter. Of course the same could be said about Chris Cornell and that Chester guy from that band. Again, I don't know what head space they are in, but on the surface it seems pretty selfish to hurt your family like that.

[amphibian]

Histories are all complicated, but that doesn't mean being complex allows for a flattening perspective that puts let's say Kissinger on the level of a junkie who OD'ed in an abandoned house or the teenagers murdered in Gaza.

Mallick Rel being emperor is bad. Everyone gets that. But if there was a person who was Rel's significant other that never held office, yet exercised some degree of control over what happened to people, then that person too isn't a good person. That's the part that people have trouble understanding.

[Dutch]

I ordered online some custom printed t-shirts from the US for Father's Day a number of weeks back. It was shipped by UPS. It got to the Netherlands in about a week. Now the track and trace shows the same message for over two weeks.
Arrived at customs, Clearance in progress. I have contacted the seller last Sunday and on Monday I have gotten a response that they would chase it and get back to me. Thus far no updates. I have a feeling that I won't have it in time for Father's Day.
Going to give UPS a call myself why the hell the clearance is taking so long.

The time before I ordered something else and it disappeared for 9 days after it arrived at the airport of Schiphol until it surfaced again at the postal agency and no one can tell me where it has been.

[Andorion]

I am so absolutely tired.

It seems like every minute of everyday, someone always wants me to do something. Work, home, family, extended family, friends - someone always has some demand and I need to comply. And I am utterly exhausted. Not just physically, but also emotionally. I need some time where I am not talking to someone or doing something for someone else. Its gotten so bad, that when I am not being told to do stuff, I am worrying about the next phone call and when it will come.

The funny thing is, I almost never ask anyone to do something for me. When I do make requests, its usually to not do things like "Don't call me just after my 12 hour day to yell at me" or "Don't ambush me with things before I have even brushed my teeth in the morning"
I am feeling suffocated. I can't even pin it down to a single cause. I just wish everyone would back off for a bit.

[Mentalist]

Stop appearing so competent to friends and family.

This is only a half-joke: if people keep asking you to do things for them, it's because they expect you to be capable to do these things for them.

When you mess something up for someone (and if people keep overwhelming you with stuff to do, you inevitably will mess something up), they will be asking you less and less to do things for them, if you cannot be relied on to get something done competently, or in appropriate time.

It's incredibly important to always set aside time for yourself, regardless of what the world wants. Otherwise, you totally lose yourself, and you find yourself living merely to fulfill obligations to others. And if you do that, other people will keep thinking it's okay to make demands of you.

[worry]

All I ask of you, Ando, is that you be yourself. It's a pleasure to know you.

[Andorion]

I am the Bachelorette, on 09 June 2018 - 01:38 AM, said:

Can you pick up some milk on your way home from work? We re out honey bunny.

No joke, once when I was returning, at around 9PM, on the bus, my mother called up and asked me to drop in on my grandfather as he wanted to talk to me. I don't remember what it was, but it was incredibly minor. And not time sensitive

Mentalist, on 09 June 2018 - 01:39 AM, said:

Stop appearing so competent to friends and family.

This is only a half-joke: if people keep asking you to do things for them, it's because they expect you to be capable to do these things for them.

When you mess something up for someone (and if people keep overwhelming you with stuff to do, you inevitably will mess something up), they will be asking you less and less to do things for them, if you cannot be relied on to get something done competently, or in appropriate time.

It's incredibly important to always set aside time for yourself, regardless of what the world wants. Otherwise, you totally lose yourself, and you find yourself living merely to fulfill obligations to others. And if you do that, other people will keep thinking it's okay to make demands of you.

A couple of people have told me the same thing. The illusion of incompetence is really important. Like my mother often needs help with things for her teaching job, all computer related stuff. She will not let anyone else help, except me. She has this strange idea that I am the only one who knows what he is doing.

I am really working on saying no more.

Luv2B_Sassy, on 09 June 2018 - 01:54 AM, said:

All I ask of you, Ando, is that you be yourself. It's a pleasure to know you.

Thanks
That actually means a lot to me.


And it does not help that the weather is trying to kill me.

Yesterday at 3.30 PM it was 34 C with 85% humidity. I almost could not breathe

[Puck]

For what it's worth, Ando, have some virtual hugs. The empire is always there if/when you want/need to rant.

Also, what the others have already said. It may be difficult, especially with such close family ties as yours, but sometimes it's okay so say 'no' or 'not now'. People either accept that or they don't and hopefully find someone else to bother.

Edit: Typing with pizza in one hand is a habit I should kill in its infancy.

This post has been edited by Puck: 09 June 2018 - 07:32 PM

[Abyss]

Puck, on 09 June 2018 - 07:30 PM, said:

Edit: Typing with pizza in one hand is a habit I should practice and refine until it is an art.

FTFY.

[Tsundoku]

Going out field from tomorrow until 4 July. Ish.

Hate this shit. At least this time its only 3 weeks. Ish.

I really need to find another job. I've only stayed in this one as long as I have because of the security and perks. If I didn't have a family I would have walked ages ago.
Hence why it's hard to find anything else that can come close to matching it on those grounds.
Actually, the job itself isn't that bad, it's the organisation I work for and the related requirements that suck the most.

So enjoy your Sombra-free time. I predict this place will go all "Lord of the Flies".

Well, either that or "Party party party!"



EDIT: I've found that in this life I can deal with being on my own for long periods and not really miss anyone overly much, even close family.
Well, not painfully miss them at any rate. As long as I can call them etc.

Except when it comes to my little boy. Being away from him really hurts. His hugs make everything ... if not better, then at least less shitty.
Does that make me a bad worse person if I miss him more than anyone else?

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 10 June 2018 - 07:44 AM

[Maark Abbott]

Big falling out with my sister last night. Don't think we'll be speaking for a while.

[Andorion]

Tsundoku, on 10 June 2018 - 07:37 AM, said:

Going out field from tomorrow until 4 July. Ish.

Hate this shit. At least this time its only 3 weeks. Ish.

I really need to find another job. I've only stayed in this one as long as I have because of the security and perks. If I didn't have a family I would have walked ages ago.
Hence why it's hard to find anything else that can come close to matching it on those grounds.
Actually, the job itself isn't that bad, it's the organisation I work for and the related requirements that suck the most.

So enjoy your Sombra-free time. I predict this place will go all "Lord of the Flies".

Well, either that or "Party party party!"



EDIT: I've found that in this life I can deal with being on my own for long periods and not really miss anyone overly much, even close family.
Well, not painfully miss them at any rate. As long as I can call them etc.

Except when it comes to my little boy. Being away from him really hurts. His hugs make everything ... if not better, then at least less shitty.
Does that make me a bad worse person if I miss him more than anyone else?

That sounds tough. I would hate to be away from SO like that.

And totally natural to miss your son. It makes you a good father.