[Tsundoku]

This made me chuckle.

https://www.facebook...997492420294122

How to be Australian. (I will translate)

be Australian
>alarm goes off at 6.30am
>still wearing hivis from yesterde (still wearing high visibility vest from the previous day's work)
>three different Prime Ministers have come and gone overnight (a recent unfortunate tendency for Prime Ministers to not last a full term of Parliament - 3 years - and be usurped from within their own Party)
>fourth one is about to be sworn in
>make brekky (make breakfast)
>bite into strawberry
>cop a sewing needle through the roof of the mouth ( a recent high profile news story about needles being put into strawberries, causing widespread concern and plummeting strawberry sales. Needles are now being found in other fruit in copycat incidents. Annoying)
>can't feel it because still pissed from the fifteen cans of Emu Export last night (cannot feel because still rather drunk from 15 cans of a rather crap beer last night)
>drive to site
>Fooeys are playing on Triple M, fucken grouse (The Foo Fighters are playing on the nationally syndicated rock radio station, this is pleasing)
>bite into a meat pie at lunch (yum!)
>full of sewing needles and redback spiders (Redback spiders have a fearsome reputation but generally will only make you sick, not kill you. Unless you're old, young, or sick already)
>drop pie and make apprentice pick it all up (good old workplace bastardisation, a hot topic for years)
>knock off at 2 (cease work at 2pm)
>straight to bottleo (go to the liquor store, pronounced "Bottle-oh", with no pause)
>block of bushchook and a pouch of white ox (a 24 or 30 can cardboard box of Emu - hence "bush chook (=chicken)" Export beer and a pouch of rolling tobacco)
>open pouch to roll a smoke
>full of sewing needles and blue ring octopuses (a fairly nasty venomous octopus. Mostly won't kill you, but the venom will probably make you beg for death. Not as bad as the irukandji jellyfish though. Or stone fish. Or dozens of other nasties)
>get stung and stabbed multiple times
>she'll be right mate (Things will be fine, my friend. Nothing to worry about)
>crack tinnie (open can of beer)
>turn on telly
>another leadership spill means a fifth Prime Minister is being sworn in
>NSW government has just banned nightclubs, festivals, alcohol, cars, walking, sneezing, and the concept of joy (nanny state tendencies from the New South wales state govt. Started with reducing opening hours for licensed premises in the central area of Sydney and rolled on from there. In response to late night alcohol fuelled violence)
>absolute bloody outrage this is (how annoying)
>walk back into kitchen and open fridge
>full of sewing needles and a great white shark (self explanatory)
>get eaten
>it's me RDO tomorra so she'll be right (I have a Rostered Day Off tomorrow, so nothing to worry about)

[Tiste Simeon]

That's pretty much exactly how I imagine life in Australia to be...

[Tiste Simeon]

I just signed up to do the Great North Run next year. I am a bit overweight and terribly unfit so I'm now panicking about the decision! I know there's a year to get fit but shessh why did I do that??

Anyway I think it is a good decision though I will no doubt hate myself for it many times over the coming year... It'll be a good motivator to get fit and I'll be raising money for Alzheimer's Research UK so it's all in the name of a good cause.

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

Tiste Simeon, on 20 September 2018 - 01:00 PM, said:

I just signed up to do the Great North Run next year. I am a bit overweight and terribly unfit so I'm now panicking about the decision! I know there's a year to get fit but shessh why did I do that??

Anyway I think it is a good decision though I will no doubt hate myself for it many times over the coming year... It'll be a good motivator to get fit and I'll be raising money for Alzheimer's Research UK so it's all in the name of a good cause.

It's amazing what a date in the diary will do to motivate you - I couldn't get myself out the door to exercise for love nor money earlier in the year, then when Dad and I decided to do the Three Peaks I've genuinely not had a problem with it since. Goals are great motivation - best of luck!

This post has been edited by TheRetiredBridgeburner: 20 September 2018 - 01:37 PM

[QuickTidal]

TheRetiredBridgeburner, on 20 September 2018 - 01:36 PM, said:

Tiste Simeon, on 20 September 2018 - 01:00 PM, said:

I just signed up to do the Great North Run next year. I am a bit overweight and terribly unfit so I'm now panicking about the decision! I know there's a year to get fit but shessh why did I do that??

Anyway I think it is a good decision though I will no doubt hate myself for it many times over the coming year... It'll be a good motivator to get fit and I'll be raising money for Alzheimer's Research UK so it's all in the name of a good cause.

It's amazing what a date in the diary will do to motivate you - I couldn't get myself out the door to exercise for love nor money earlier in the year, then when Dad and I decided to do the Three Peaks I've genuinely not had a problem with it since. Goals are great motivation - best of luck!

^This.

Tiste, you'll do great! A year is plenty of time to ramp up to the challenge ahead. And I bet you'll feel amazing about doing it.

[Tiste Simeon]

Thanks both. Got to wait to hear if ARUK will accept me as one of their runners. I only went with them cos they are who my friends are running with, but they are going with a group organised by someone whose spaces filled up very quickly so I have to sign up as an individual. Not sure what I'll do if they don't accept me but I don't see any reason why they won't...

[Macros]

Just get someone to be at the finish line with a beer and a cheeseburger for you.

Record times ho!

[Tiste Simeon]

Macros, on 20 September 2018 - 03:32 PM, said:

Just get someone to be at the finish line with a beer and a cheeseburger for you.

Record times ho!

That... Would actually work!

[JPK]

So the Mrs and I have been planning on when we want our second kid and have decided to aim for 2019. Well, I got to work this morning to find that they're implementing a new 8 week Parental leave in q1 2019 and that it can be started after the short term disability pay of 8 weeks that the Mrs will qualify for when she delivers.

Long story short, she'll now qualify for 16 weeks full pay, and I'll qualify for 8 weeks full pay when we'd have another kid. We're in the States so this is huge for us.

[Slow Ben]

JPK, on 20 September 2018 - 05:12 PM, said:

So the Mrs and I have been planning on when we want our second kid and have decided to aim for 2019. Well, I got to work this morning to find that they're implementing a new 8 week Parental leave in q1 2019 and that it can be started after the short term disability pay of 8 weeks that the Mrs will qualify for when she delivers.

Long story short, she'll now qualify for 16 weeks full pay, and I'll qualify for 8 weeks full pay when we'd have another kid. We're in the States so this is huge for us.

Damn progressives. It should be 8 week unpaid for the mother and none for the father like everywhere else.



But seriously, thats freaking awesome.

[JPK]

Slow Ben, on 20 September 2018 - 05:20 PM, said:

JPK, on 20 September 2018 - 05:12 PM, said:

So the Mrs and I have been planning on when we want our second kid and have decided to aim for 2019. Well, I got to work this morning to find that they're implementing a new 8 week Parental leave in q1 2019 and that it can be started after the short term disability pay of 8 weeks that the Mrs will qualify for when she delivers.

Long story short, she'll now qualify for 16 weeks full pay, and I'll qualify for 8 weeks full pay when we'd have another kid. We're in the States so this is huge for us.

Damn progressives. It should be 8 week unpaid for the mother and none for the father like everywhere else.



But seriously, thats freaking awesome.

Previous to this the policy was 2 weeks full pay into (up to) 10 weeks half pay as disability for the mother only. You might see why I'm so shocked by this change.

[Messremb]

JPK, on 20 September 2018 - 05:26 PM, said:

Slow Ben, on 20 September 2018 - 05:20 PM, said:

JPK, on 20 September 2018 - 05:12 PM, said:

So the Mrs and I have been planning on when we want our second kid and have decided to aim for 2019. Well, I got to work this morning to find that they're implementing a new 8 week Parental leave in q1 2019 and that it can be started after the short term disability pay of 8 weeks that the Mrs will qualify for when she delivers.

Long story short, she'll now qualify for 16 weeks full pay, and I'll qualify for 8 weeks full pay when we'd have another kid. We're in the States so this is huge for us.

Damn progressives. It should be 8 week unpaid for the mother and none for the father like everywhere else.



But seriously, thats freaking awesome.

Previous to this the policy was 2 weeks full pay into (up to) 10 weeks half pay as disability for the mother only. You might see why I'm so shocked by this change.

I'm constantly amazed by just how inhuman the USA is. Quoting gov.uk;

Quote

Statutory Maternity Leave is 52 weeks. It’s made up of:

Ordinary Maternity Leave - first 26 weeks
Additional Maternity Leave - last 26 weeks

You don’t have to take 52 weeks but you must take 2 weeks’ leave after your baby is born (or 4 weeks if you work in a factory).

Quote

Statutory Maternity Pay (SMP) is paid for up to 39 weeks. You get:

- 90% of your average weekly earnings (before tax) for the first 6 weeks
- £145.18 or 90% of your average weekly earnings (whichever is lower) for the next 33 weeks

Mrs Messremb has a few months left to run on the year she's taken off work. Alas they don't double the paid section for twins!

Happy? Brewed this afternoon for the first time since the babies arrived, should be a nice dark 7.5% porter.

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

Off on holiday for a week! Off walking round Northumberland!

[Macros]

I'm on the the train to the airport in bits.

What's making me happy?

The wallet full of money, very successful night at poker this morning, and I declared in advance that 50% of all winning will go towards my cousin's physiotherapy fund. Delighted to be able to drop a square packet into the jar for that

[Puck]

amphibian, on 20 September 2018 - 12:16 AM, said:

Puck, on 17 September 2018 - 12:00 PM, said:

I'm not on the verge of a panic attack anymore when my phone at work rings, despite just having had a rough week with a surprise depressive episode. I call that a victory

You sound so much more resilient than you were a couple years ago. Way to go. I'm really happy for you.

Thank you! It's honestly as much due to the support on here as due to any other factor.

[Slow Ben]

The wife and kids are out of town.

I just took a 3 1/2 hour nap.

It was unexplainably amazing.

[Andorion]

Briar King, on 28 September 2018 - 07:51 PM, said:

Har got a king snake in my wood rack poking its head out at me.

This is a good thing?

[Messremb]

Briar King, on 25 September 2018 - 04:18 AM, said:

I just copied the paperboy!! Ha

I think this one probably requires some explaining too

[worry]

I think it means he had public pre-dawn sex in a pickup truck.

[Andorion]

Briar King, on 29 September 2018 - 09:04 PM, said:

The paperboy was highly amused when I told him I took a page out his book to that night.

Wait. Did you have sex with the paperboy, or like the paperboy? Is early morning sex a common thing in your neighbourhood?

Every time BK talks about the little things in his life, he adds further detail to this fascinating portrait I have about life in Louisiana.