[John II]

All right, so I'm at chapter 10 of Toll the Hounds and I see this:

Quote

They're back,' Nenanda announced.
'Nimander will know what to do,' Desra pronounced.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I find that a horrible, amateur piece of work. It seems like what a 12 year old would do, having been given a lecture from the teacher on the overuse of the word "said". It really bothers me. What do you think?

This post has been edited by John II: 23 April 2019 - 09:55 AM

[Gorefest]

I'm inclined to disagree. If this would happen all over the series, you'd have a point. But this is one instance, occurring in the 8th novel in the series. And knowing that Erikson usually very carefully chooses his words and phrasing, I assume he may be stressing the different meanings of the words in the context of the group dynamics. Pronouncing that Nimander will know what to do indicates that Desra puts complete faith in his judgement, stating it as a matter of fact that he will make the correct choice, as opposed to just saying it.

[Puck]

^This. Couldn't have said it better. Especially in the later half of the series, SE is known to have chosen his words very carefully, and everything in the narration serves to show you something. In this case, it's the group dynamics and Desra's conviction that Nimander will know what to do. It may also be a hint that she is trying to convince herself of what she is saying, hence the emphasis on the way she is saying it, immediately following Nenanda's Captain Obvious-obvervation. You know, the Nenanda who's not exactly known for having much insight into things.

You know that writing advice given in school is to simplify writing for students, not a universal "Never do this"?

This post has been edited by Puck: 23 April 2019 - 03:08 PM

[John II]

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You know that writing advice given in school is to simplify writing for students, not a universal "Never do this"?

Yes, I do realize that. My point was that it looks like the typical student's case of taking it as such.

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If this would happen all over the series, you'd have a point.

I realize it doesn't happen all over the series, but it does at this point, and it really ruined the flow for me.

[John II]

Also, I will semi-hijack my own thread here to say that I'm really digging the Pratchett-esque vibe of the narration in this book - especially those bits about the ox. I haven't noticed a Pterry influence before; could be that it's been in all the books but I haven't noticed it until now. Keeping this post somewhat on-topic, the diction in those passages is admirable. I guess my beef with the passage above was partly due to the contrast; the rest of the book is largely very good in this regard.