Malazan Empire: Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots - Malazan Empire

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Political Comedy starring world leaders and local idiots Laugh while you cry

#1741 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 23 June 2022 - 05:42 PM

Incidentally Boebert has no personality or political acumen except "I love guns" that's it. That's her extent.

And her name was Lorena Bobbitt https://en.wikipedia...itt?wprov=sfla1
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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#1742 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 23 June 2022 - 05:55 PM

That's it! Posted Image
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#1743 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 23 June 2022 - 09:45 PM

'Mike Pence says no president in his lifetime has lied as often as Joe Biden. Um...

[... Fox Business host]: "Have you ever seen a president who refuses to accept blame, and I want to add to that, commits so many falsehoods? I'm being very polite here, calling it falsehoods -- falsehoods, you know, on any given day. He's out there saying stuff that just ain't true. Have you ever seen anything like that?"

Pence: "Never in my lifetime. I said today that there has never been a time in my life where a president was more disconnected from the American people than we see today."'

Analysis: Mike Pence says no president in his lifetime has lied as often as Joe Biden. Um...

Possibilities:

- he secretly was actually hung (or shot) during January 6th, and officially resurrected sometime after Biden's inauguration (was zombie in the meantime)
- he thought he meant Trump


'Oh Great, Kyle Rittenhouse Has Made a Shooting Video Game

[...] players shoot "fake news turkeys." [...] Rittenhouse says that "the media is nothing but a bunch of turkeys with nothing better to do than push their lying agenda" before shooting the air with a nerf gun. If that isn't enticing enough, the video also features an original Rittenhouse rap: "Fake news turkey shoot, got a laser gun going pew, pew, pew."'

Oh Great, a Kyle Rittenhouse Video Game About Shooting 'Fake News Turkeys'

... and the turkeys look brown....

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 23 June 2022 - 09:45 PM

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#1744 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 25 June 2022 - 04:31 PM

From the Bill Maher show opening monologue last night: "be careful where you get stoned, and be careful where you get boned." Posted Image
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#1745 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 28 June 2022 - 02:42 PM

Posted Image




'Brave Rudy Says Video of Near-Fatal Back Pat Is "Deceptive"

[...] Giuliani doubled down [...] on his wildly overblown characterization that he was brutally assaulted by a Staten Island grocery store worker over the weekend, despite security footage showing the man only tapped his back.

Speaking to about 200 people in a Facebook Live, Giuliani called the viral security footage "deceptive." [...]

[...]

"I'm in pretty good shape, I didn't fall down, but I could have," Giuliani said. "If I fell down, who knows…Elderly people die most often from falling down."

"All of a sudden, I feel this, 'Bam!' on my back," Giuliani initially told the New York Post [...] later saying the alleged smack caused him "tremendous pain."

Before the footage surfaced, Giuliani also claimed it felt like "a boulder hit me," saying [...] Gill knocked him forward "a step or two." [...] he said it felt like he had been shot in the back.

[...]

In reality, the footage showed Giuliani standing straight up after the pat, facing Gill as he was pushed away by people who surrounded the former mayor while he stumped for his son's gubernatorial campaign.

Giuliani claimed [...] the assault was so severe police upgraded it to a felony, however he later said it had been downgraded to a misdemeanor.

[...]

Giuliani insisted he was never scared of Gill. Instead, he lashed out against New York officials for allowing the grocery store employee to bail out of jail, insinuating Gill—who the New York Post reports has no prior arrests—would now go on an elderly slapping spree.

"I don't care for me, I can take care of myself, this little punk isn't going to hurt me," Giuliani said. "[...] You think I worry about this little punk? I worry about this little punk for you, because if he can come and hit me, a 78-year-old man, the next thing he's going to do is hit you."'

Rudy Giuliani Says Video of Near-Fatal Pat on Back by Staten Island Store Worker Daniel Gill Is 'Deceptive'
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#1746 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 28 June 2022 - 08:00 PM

Nancy Pelosi too. I guess she shoved a republican congresswoman's daughter after the swearing in photo-op. There's plenty of coverage, so have at your own link discovery.

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Isn't it funny how these hot button topics seemed to be pushed and capture for a moment the outrage/fear addicts's attention to focus vitriol at the other side. You can tally them up. Off the top of my head of recent outrage fuel: CRT, then on to Trans people wanting to indoctrinate 3rd graders, now onto violence against conservatives and aggression perpetrated by the left. They all do it though, regardless of where their politics fall. They all make my skin crawl and I find them loathsome and reprehensible. Throw ALL the bums out!



<><><><><><><><><>

And this guy.

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Almost there buddy.

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#1747 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 29 June 2022 - 04:01 PM

'[...] And Gorsuch accepts the narrative that this was "private" and "quiet," even though there were TV cameras and elected officials and people storming the field and knocking over the tuba players to join.

[...] It's as if Gorsuch is writing some sort of medieval tract about a holy saint on a journey through the desert who's just trying to pray, and this dumb school district keeps throwing obstacles in his way that it calls "accommodations." It's such a strange framing of the facts.

Gorsuch evinces an almost divine certainty, as though he is a holy man traveling the countryside of a medieval land back in the 13th century, receiving these visions from a deity that must supersede any puny, mortal illusions of reality. [...] Gorsuch reflects an almost pathological certainty in his own rightness, an inability to believe that something he perceives to be true might not be true. He bulldozes over the facts of this case and blows past photographic evidence.

This is a horrifying approach to judging. It ratifies the Supreme Court's stature as a group of gods on Mount Olympus who speak the truth because anything they say must be the truth. And in Kennedy v. Bremerton, we get this pathology in its purest form.'

Coach Kennedy case: Neil Gorsuch tells kids to get over religious coercion at school. (slate.com)

'"Ketchup Dripping Down the Wall": Bombshell Jan. 6 Testimony

[...] Trump apparently lacked "the stamina" to march with the violent mob he incited, but he was fine being chauffeured to the insurrection. After being informed by his attorney general that there was no evidence of voter fraud, Trump behaved like an unruly spoiled child, according to Hutchinson, by throwing a plate of food against the wall, which was cleaned up by Hutchinson, who at the age of 25 was clearly the most mature adult in the room.

[...] "Please make sure we don't go up to the Capitol, Cass," White House Counsel Pat Cipollone urged Hutchinson, according to her testimony. "We are going to get charged with every crime imaginable."

[...] The hearing concluded with threatening messages the Trump administration allegedly sent to witnesses encouraging loyalty and promising rewards that read as if they came out of a bad Godfather ripoff. We can add witness tampering as another potential crime.

[...] If the GOP continues down its radicalized and weaponized path, our democracy will lay in tatters beside the broken porcelain plate, and blood will be dripping down the walls alongside the ketchup.'

Cassidy Hutchinson's Jan. 6 Testimony Exposed the Entire GOP as Complicit in the Coup Attempt (thedailybeast.com)

'Trump Grabbed Limo Steering Wheel on Jan. 6 to Go to Capitol

"I'M THE F-ING PRESIDENT!"

[...] lunged for the presidential limousine's steering wheel when he was informed he was heading back to the West Wing. "I'm the f-ing president, take me up to the Capitol now!" Trump allegedly yelled

[...] Secret Service agent Robert Engel then grabbed Trump's arm and informed him that "you need to take your hand off the steering wheel." [...] "Trump then used his free hand to lunge towards Bobby Engel." [...] Trump was aware that some attendees of the Jan. 6 rally were armed but wasn't concerned. "They're not here to hurt me," Trump allegedly said, calling for security to remove the magnetometers preventing some rallygoers from entering his Ellipse rally.'

Trump Allegedly Grabbed Steering Wheel to Force Limo to Go to Capitol on Jan. 6 (thedailybeast.com)

... some Secret Service agents are denying that he grabbed the wheel.

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 29 June 2022 - 04:02 PM

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#1748 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 29 June 2022 - 04:18 PM

View PostAzath Vitr (D, on 29 June 2022 - 04:01 PM, said:



I hope this MFer keeps this exact energy if a Muslim teacher decides to start prayer one morning in homeroom, or the Atheist history teacher in 6th period tells his students that Mary had sex with a Roman soldier and didn't want to reveal that so she lied about how she got pregnant; kickstarting a religion....I hope they are defended with equal aplomb as the Christian zealots will be.

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 29 June 2022 - 04:19 PM

"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora

“Someone will always try to sell you despair, just so they don't feel alone.” ~Ursula Vernon
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#1749 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 29 June 2022 - 05:31 PM

Aw man, you left out the Flynn plead the 5th part. My news aggregator curated that news story for me. Better tweak your algorithm.

something, something... Trump - "pleading the 5th is what mobsters do" ... something, something... "why would you plead the 5th if you aren't guilty?" ... something, something.
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#1750 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 30 June 2022 - 04:22 PM

'Former Secret Service agents say that Donald Trump's "girth" prevented him from hijacking motorcade

[...] Surveillance video released by the Select Committee recorded Trump riding in a specially-equipped Chevrolet Suburban instead of the armored Cadillac, more commonly known as "The Beast." Toward the end, Trump can be seen flailing around and maybe reaching into the cockpit.

[...] Trump is "not the most agile human being" and [...] was too plump to have successfully hijacked the "extremely tight" sport utility vehicle.

"Trump's not a little guy, right? [...] I don't mean to sound disparaging to the former president, but just his girth would prevent him from actually getting to the steering wheel."

"Am I saying it didn't happen? I'm not going to say that, because we all know this guy can be pretty emotional," [...]

[...] while the SUV is designed for agents to move from front to back, Trump going the other way is "ridiculous. I mean, it's not a pretty sight" and that it is "hard to believe" that Trump would have even dared.

He conceded that although the scenario is "not impossible, it would… I just, I don't see this president ever being able to do that," he further chuckled [...] "Ever."'

Former Secret Service agents say that Donald Trump's 'girth' prevented him from hijacking motorcade


'"He's a Trump acolyte": Reporter shreds Secret Service agent's credibility in face of denials about SUV incident'

'He's a Trump acolyte': Reporter shreds Secret Service agent's credibility in face of denials about SUV incident

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#1751 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 30 June 2022 - 09:01 PM

eff around and find out dude Fetterman roasting Oz. I hate political ads, but this one gets a stamp of approval from me.

twitter.com/JohnFetterman/status/1542501205351579649

Man, PA senate race going to be stoopid <<< see, I spelled it with two Os, so it means it's Philly fresh and dope as hell.

... now this is the story about how my life got flipped, turned upside down. Posted Image
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#1752 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 06 July 2022 - 04:19 PM

^ Fetterman's statement about guns will probably see Oz win sadly.

In lighter fare, Ulster county (NY?) is running an "I voted" sticker design contest during the month of July. There is a clear winner and he has a large lead.

https://elections.ul...ticker-contest/

Reminds me of the Boaty McBoatface deal, but more creative.Posted Image
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#1753 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 06 July 2022 - 11:27 PM


They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#1754 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 07 July 2022 - 01:17 AM

View PostMalankazooie, on 06 July 2022 - 04:19 PM, said:

^ Fetterman's statement about guns will probably see Oz win sadly.

In lighter fare, Ulster county (NY?) is running an "I voted" sticker design contest during the month of July. There is a clear winner and he has a large lead.

https://elections.ul...ticker-contest/

Reminds me of the Boaty McBoatface deal, but more creative.Posted Image


'where Pennsylvanians stand on proposals to regulate guns, according to recent polls:

[...] 55% of respondents said they believe federal gun laws should be "stronger," while 15% said they should be "less strong," and 27% said they should stay the same.

Asked how important "doing more to prevent gun violence" was, 21% of respondents said it was the "most important issue," while 45% said it was "a very important issue." Only 14% said it was "not that important." [...]

[...] Support for gun-control measures is even higher when pollsters ask respondents about specific policy proposals.

[...] 73% of Pennsylvanians said they were supportive of requiring a permit to purchase a firearm, and 68% were supportive of requiring fingerprints to get permits.

[...] 83% of Pennsylvanians said they support background checks on all gun purchases, while 11% said they opposed them.

[...] 64% of Pennsylvania voters said they would be more likely to support a U.S. Senate candidate who supported universal background checks if that person were running against a candidate who opposed them. Only 10% said they would be more likely to vote for a candidate who opposed checks, while 22% said it would not affect their vote.'

Gun control polls: Where Pennsylvanians stand on proposals to regulate guns (inquirer.com)

Caveats:
- they have to actually get out and vote
- pro-gun voters may be responding to polls at lower rate



(Republican candidate for the House---prior political experience: NFL running back (decent number of concussions?...))
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#1755 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 07 July 2022 - 08:47 PM

'Internal messages from Herschel Walker advisers show "concerns he isn't mentally fit for the job"[...]

Advisors to former NFL star and Trump-endorsed Republican nominee for the U.S. Senate from Georgia, Herschel Walker, don't trust him, think he is not mentally fit for the job, and have called him a "pathological liar," [...]

"He's lied so much that we don't know what's true," an advisor said, adding campaign aides have "zero" trust in their candidate. [...]

[...] repeatedly criticized men, especially men in the Black community, for not being good fathers, while Herschel Walker has painted himself as a model dad. The mother of Walker's first secret son had to go to court to secure child support.

In addition to lying to his own campaign about the existence of three of his own children, Walker "has, in fact, racked up a staggering record of falsehoods."

"He has claimed he was a trained FBI agent and worked for law enforcement, neither of which is true. He has told a preposterous series of lies about his academic record—forcing his campaign to delete claims from his official bio. He has grossly overstated his business success. He has falsely taken credit for founding a veterans support program. And, most recently, he claimed that former President Donald Trump had never said the 2020 election was stolen."

[...] "campaign source painted a picture of an operation that for months has been at the mercy of a volatile, deceitful candidate."

"A campaign's worst nightmare," the source said. "It's like a shitshow on a train in the middle of a wreck."'

Internal messages from Herschel Walker advisers show 'concerns he isn't mentally fit for the job': report


'When the first reports broke last summer detailing Walker's checkered personal history, influential GOP figures balked. Some hoped that "somebody else" would take over the closely watched race, which will likely determine which party controls Congress heading into the 2024 presidential election.

"Some of it's pretty bad, obviously: physical abuse and pulling a gun on his wife [...] I'd prefer to have somebody else."

[...] But the skeptics couldn't stave off the MAGA-fueled boost Walker got as Trump's handpicked candidate. The two men have been friends since the 1980s, when Trump showcased the phenom running back as a main attraction in his NFL knock-off, the USFL.

[...] Aides have secretly derided Walker for months [...] They have ridiculed his intelligence. They fear his mood swings and instability. And staffers worry he could embarrass himself at any moment [...]

The overriding concern is that the stress and pressures of campaigning—criticism and backlash in particular—might make him "just not mentally stable," [...]

The strategy now is to keep Walker off television'

Herschel Walker Lied About His Secret Kids to His Own Campaign (thedailybeast.com)
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#1756 User is offline   amphibian 

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Posted 07 July 2022 - 09:25 PM

I've met Herschel Walker and spent maybe 20 minutes with him, talking the fight industry and what he was doing back then. This was in February 2011 backstage at the Fedor Bigfoot fight in NJ, which I was present at as a fight reporter. He was weird back then in a way that made me wonder if he has TBI or possible developmental disabilities. The fights since that he's trained for and done most likely have made that worse.

I can't believe people are running him for statewide office. He's not fit for that kind of job.
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#1757 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 08 July 2022 - 05:36 AM

https://threadreader...6728790017.html

Peter Bone, a child's drawing of their vampire grandad...

Cigar-chomping Uncle Fester impersonator Therese Coffey...

Boris Johnson, the randy yeti...

deranged ukulele enthusiast and follicular fire-hazard Michael Fabricant...

Jacob Rees-Mogg, the Microsoft Paperclip standing to attention...


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#1758 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 15 July 2022 - 07:34 PM

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#1759 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 20 July 2022 - 07:47 PM

The PA senate race has taken to twitter dunks on. Not really a fan of it tbh, although Gritty Fetterman at least has posted some funny and creative burns. I rather politicians stay with how they will implement solutions for pressing issues, but when was the last time that was a thing during an election?

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Are they going to get Oz and Fetterman in a debate schedule leading up to November? I'd grab some popcorn and watch those if they happen.
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#1760 User is offline   Malankazooie 

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Posted 22 July 2022 - 08:19 PM

From Rockstar Games, this hit my inbox today. For crying out loud Rockstar, we play video games to escape reality.

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