[Coltaine -]

Good job Dolmen.

For the lines of the Mhybe I have the feeling that some parts shouldn't be added in a speech bubble. Maybe adding it at the upper edge of the panel and using her a commentator/narrator of the scene would be an idea.

[Dolmen 2.0]

- Coltaine -, on 31 January 2017 - 10:09 AM, said:

Good job Dolmen.

For the lines of the Mhybe I have the feeling that some parts shouldn't be added in a speech bubble. Maybe adding it at the upper edge of the panel and using her a commentator/narrator of the scene would be an idea.

Thanks Colt,

Narrative text like this?: http://68.media.tumb...6zi4wo1_540.jpg

thats a good idea. I would still want to avoid her describing too much outright but there are certain internal monologues that build character impressions without overlapping the artworks purpose.

I'll try work in that idea during my lunch break.

[Coltaine -]

Dolmen 2.0, on 31 January 2017 - 10:39 AM, said:

- Coltaine -, on 31 January 2017 - 10:09 AM, said:

Good job Dolmen.

For the lines of the Mhybe I have the feeling that some parts shouldn't be added in a speech bubble. Maybe adding it at the upper edge of the panel and using her a commentator/narrator of the scene would be an idea.

Thanks Colt,

Narrative text like this?: http://68.media.tumb...6zi4wo1_540.jpg

thats a good idea. I would still want to avoid her describing too much outright but there are certain internal monologues that build character impressions without overlapping the artworks purpose.

I'll try work in that idea during my lunch break.

Yes, like this.

[PLUGO]

Amidst crazy end-of-the-month deadlines I've been doodling some thumbnails, while all of this conversation has been happing. I've some reading to catch up on, then some quick scans to offer.

[PLUGO]

Sorry I've been a little out of touch - that's a solid first draft script and useful for the later portion of the thumbnails I'm posting.

I initially took a Marvel approach to breaking down the sequence in 8 typical comic pages.
Since scanning them I was able to cut and paste text from both the script and the earlier excerpt.

I sort of started with the Mhybe as a POV character entering the Andii camp musing on her meeting with Rake as he approaches.
 McBotF-1.jpg (1.34MB)
Number of downloads: 1

setting up the spash page -

 McBotF-2-3.jpg (1.12MB)
Number of downloads: 1

 McBotF-4-5.jpg (1.24MB)
Number of downloads: 1

 McBotF-6.jpg (352.42K)
Number of downloads: 1

 McBotF-7.jpg (474.47K)
Number of downloads: 1

 McBotF-8.jpg (1.06MB)
Number of downloads: 1

This post has been edited by PLUGO: 02 February 2017 - 01:43 AM

[Dolmen 2.0]

I like the sketched out scenes, You went for a dragon and man in one image dissolving from one to the other, I like that idea for Rakes transformation. Erikson describes the dragon landing but I think this minor adjustment makes for a fun piece of artwork. Starting the story with the Mhybe also makes sense. Alot of internal monologue could fit in that first few pages with her making a way through the camp to the clearing. I do not think she should be there when Rake arrives as alot of her internal speculation about what Rake does has this feel of being observed from a distance. I'd suggest we maintain that.

I don't agree with certain things, (naturally just a matter of narrative preference). There's quite a few beats you've restricted to a single panel that may warrant more room to be acted out, Kallor doesn't come off as threatening, lawyering his way into things. He's the antagonist in this scene. I'd imagine a James Spader-esque gravitas, hammed up stances with an in-your-face shouting match with Korlat (seems very important to his character and hers). We should play that up I think. Rake stands in as a Judge only, the early drama is squarely a Korlat, Kallor, Mhybe affair.

Whiskeyjacks arrival has alot of dramatic effect in your manuscript, I liked that after all the words it stands out with pure action, in the final comic maybe we can have some fun here with angular panels. The moment he leaps of the horse could be him leaping across panels. just a great page in all.

From an overall read I'd think it needs to clip faster towards the end so a far slower beginning with large/long panels describing movement mid-dialogue would be effective for when we switch to those quick, wordless, action packed panels like you have with WJ and as you might have with Rake reaching out to feel Silverfoxes power.

As you said, You've caught key parts nicely, It's successfully done for manuscript draft no.1.

[Coltaine -]

Good sketches Plugo

Something I really like is that Broods entrance into the scene is nearly taking one half of a page. He is also a major player and deserves a big introduction.

######################

I searched for some descriptions of the Rhivi in general. Could maybe be useful for some background characters. I will add it to the list above as well

- small, brown-skinned people
- dark eyes
- black haired
- wore tanned hides, bhederin and antelope
- Red and black lines of face-painting

[PLUGO]

Dolmen 2.0, on 02 February 2017 - 05:53 AM, said:

- I do not think she should be there when Rake arrives as alot of her internal speculation about what Rake does has this feel of being observed from a distance. I'd suggest we maintain that.

- There's quite a few beats you've restricted to a single panel that may warrant more room to be acted out, Kallor doesn't come off as threatening, lawyering his way into things. He's the antagonist in this scene. I'd imagine a James Spader-esque gravitas, hammed up stances with an in-your-face shouting match with Korlat (seems very important to his character and hers). We should play that up I think. Rake stands in as a Judge only, the early drama is squarely a Korlat, Kallor, Mhybe affair.

Whiskeyjacks arrival has alot of dramatic effect in your manuscript, I liked that after all the words it stands out with pure action, in the final comic maybe we can have some fun here with angular panels. The moment he leaps of the horse could be him leaping across panels. just a great page in all.

From an overall read I'd think it needs to clip faster towards the end so a far slower beginning with large/long panels describing movement mid-dialogue would be effective for when we switch to those quick, wordless, action packed panels like you have with WJ and as you might have with Rake reaching out to feel Silverfoxes power.

Lot's of solid points.


I can easily see the mostly blank page 6 sliding in between pages 3 & 4. Where various arguments are happening as the group, Rake, Kallor, Korlat, Mybhe make their way towards Brood (what i squished into panel 1 page 4). There's a trick one can use to extend time by having arguments & counter-argument dialogue happen between characters in the same panel. Something like that could also be useful for establishing character relations, body language and their relative sizes.

WJ leaping down from the horse onto those panels is glorious. The value in a grid is also in knowing when to break it, I suppose.


I thought the Rake vs. Silverfox seemed to need a reaction shot before the sudden appearance of the flying table, but working from the ends towards the center of the story allows for some flex.

Fun progress.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Hi Guys,

Sorry its been so long. I had to focus on a series of paintings for a friend/client.

I'm mostly done with those now and finalized the Script, here it is:

https://drive.google...RWNYVE1jbWtKWGs

18 pages by my reckoning.

I know it needs editing but we can sketch up a rough quite comfortably from this script.

Plugo how would you like to proceed?

[Dolmen 2.0]

Might I suggest we assign who will be in charge of which characters aaand by extension the jobs and pages aswell?

Quote

Two examples

Individuals or Teams (penciler, inker, colorist or person who draw person or digitally paints) can be assigned pages to complete on their own (a modified Jam model)
*Artists or Teams can select, or be assigned an individual character that they are responsible for depicting throughout the scene. Whomever chooses Silverfox or Tool is responsible for depicting them in whatever panel they appear in throughout the comic. Along those line there may also be need for an artist in charge of scenery or props. Another valuable contribution would be the artist who provides final "lighting" - digitally coloring or retouching a scene/setting so that the characters all appear to be in the same location e.g. drinking ale in a tent by candle light.

We could say for example Plugo is penciler and incharge of scenes involving Korlat (for example.)

This means while he is the chief penciler for the whole manuscript he would be in charge of what colors the colorist uses on Korlat, what movement, placement and inking is done on her aswell as the placement of text bubbles etc.

[PLUGO]

Dolmen 2.0, on 16 March 2017 - 11:02 AM, said:

Might I suggest we assign who will be in charge of which characters aaand by extension the jobs and pages aswell?

Quote

Two examples

Individuals or Teams (penciler, inker, colorist or person who draw person or digitally paints) can be assigned pages to complete on their own (a modified Jam model)
*Artists or Teams can select, or be assigned an individual character that they are responsible for depicting throughout the scene. Whomever chooses Silverfox or Tool is responsible for depicting them in whatever panel they appear in throughout the comic. Along those line there may also be need for an artist in charge of scenery or props. Another valuable contribution would be the artist who provides final "lighting" - digitally coloring or retouching a scene/setting so that the characters all appear to be in the same location e.g. drinking ale in a tent by candle light.

We could say for example Plugo is penciler and incharge of scenes involving Korlat (for example.)

This means while he is the chief penciler for the whole manuscript he would be in charge of what colors the colorist uses on Korlat, what movement, placement and inking is done on her aswell as the placement of text bubbles etc.

Hi All,
I too have been pretty slammed with client work and the like, which has kept me to just popping onto the board while another image is processing or some such.

18 pages is pretty epic, pretty much a single comic issue right there.

I wouldn't want to be considered a chief pencilers as in that example, though i agree that one or two people should focus on the breakdowns of the scrip into comics pages. Perhaps a couple of comics inclined artists will want to take a stab at the breakdowns and then bring said break downs together to consolidate the best pacing and camera angles etc.

In the mean time, I think it's a great idea to look at who wants to draw (and design) which characters. In the fashion of a single artist being lead artist for Korlat, it might also make sense for a single artist to illustrate all the Andi characters, while another does Rivii, and another does Malazans. This could lead to the Andii looking appropriately different from Humans, not just by virtue black skin and glowing eyes (have pointy ears ever been explicitly mention by S.E?). Should this just be a case of someone claiming a character? In an "I want to draw Caladan Brood" sort of way. Or should there be a nomination process?

The initial inspiration came when I realized I wanted to see Dolman's version of Quick Ben interacting with Dejan's version of Rake (or something to that effect).

Getting back to the responsibilities of a lead artist, designing the character could surely include the color scheme, leaving a colorist to focus how that particular shade of Malazan maroon looks in the pre-dawn light. Placement of word balloons would be helped greatly by solid panel and page layout, which will also be key when characters drawn by different artists interact in a single panel - such as Brood interacting with (drawn by artist A) the Mhybe (drawn by artist with Rake in the background (artist C? or artists A or B doing an imitation of artist C who draw Rake elsewhere?) . . . I haven't looked at the script yet, so there may be no such scene, but hopefully the example makes some sense.

Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm at a loss for who I would want to draw!

[Macros]

Not involved but an interested spectator.

My initial instinct was that a few artists with similar styles be responsible for all the principal line art, to maintain some continuity through the comic.

But upon reflection. And reading g Pluto's post it makes sense to split it according to race to add to the distinction between them
I do think it makes sense to have the surroundings maintained by one or two.

[Dolmen 2.0]

Yeah I can see this working. I am down with splitting it across racial divides. I have a strong urge to do the Andii and maybe get involved with Korlat and Anomander.

I have Anomander in mind as how I've already depicted him in previous work, I've been dying to do an updated version of Korlat aswell so I'm happy with either.

[Coltaine -]

Sounds like a good idea with splitting the characters between the different artists. Just managed to read your script Dolmen. Good job


@Plugo: No pointy ears mentioned