Malazan Empire: Odds on The New Pope - Malazan Empire

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Odds on The New Pope Cardinal sin of gambling.

#41 User is offline   Obdigore 

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Posted 13 March 2013 - 10:39 AM

I vote for the oldest cardinal they have that has syphilis and since they believe in 'gods will', he clearly can't get a quick little shot to fix it, so he should be pope as the disease eats away at his brain, to make him more receptive to the word of god.

I look forward to the time when there is a Papal Order that makes hats an unforgivable sin.
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#42 User is offline   Spoilsport Stonny 

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Posted 13 March 2013 - 12:45 PM

The 8 Worst-Dressed At The Papal Conclave
Theorizing that one could poop within his own lifetime, Doctor Poopet led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM POOP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Poopet, prematurely stepped into the Poop Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own bowels was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al the Poop Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Poopet could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Poopet finds himself pooping from life to life, pooping things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next poop will be the poop home.
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#43 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 13 March 2013 - 01:45 PM

View PostStalking Stonny, on 13 March 2013 - 12:45 PM, said:




i do so love the Onion.
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#44 User is offline   Spoilsport Stonny 

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Posted 13 March 2013 - 07:12 PM

Oooo! THe lights are on behind the door I can't wait!!!!!
Theorizing that one could poop within his own lifetime, Doctor Poopet led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM POOP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Poopet, prematurely stepped into the Poop Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own bowels was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al the Poop Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Poopet could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Poopet finds himself pooping from life to life, pooping things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next poop will be the poop home.
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#45 User is offline   Spoilsport Stonny 

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Posted 13 March 2013 - 07:15 PM

Pope Francis?

Posted Image
Theorizing that one could poop within his own lifetime, Doctor Poopet led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM POOP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Poopet, prematurely stepped into the Poop Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own bowels was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al the Poop Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Poopet could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Poopet finds himself pooping from life to life, pooping things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next poop will be the poop home.
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#46 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 13 March 2013 - 07:46 PM

when does the ceremonial orgy start?
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#47 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 13 March 2013 - 07:48 PM

76 year old Argentinian Jorge Mario Bergoglio, aka Pope Francis I.

So they went with a South American Jesuit (two firsts), who happens to be the son of an Italian immigrant, thus the Euro connection is maintained.

Anti gay marriage, but pro contraceptives for disease prevention. Wow, that's almost edgy.

Also, an old white guy.
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#48 User is offline   Puck 

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Posted 13 March 2013 - 07:52 PM

They probably didn't want the change to be too radical, but hey, it's a start, ain't it? :wub:

This post has been edited by Puck: 13 March 2013 - 08:00 PM

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#49 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 13 March 2013 - 08:14 PM

as the selection of the new pope doesnt really affect me I shouldn't really care, but it always bugs me that is an old guy.
I understand paying your dues and working your way up the ladder in business. But wouldn't iut be better to install a pretty young pope and have him serve for a long time, rather than bring in 76 year old man who may drop of heart attack or turn senile at any moment?
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#50 User is offline   Puck 

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Posted 13 March 2013 - 08:32 PM

That's the point of voting for an old one - in case he does stuff the other old guys don't agree with they'll just have to weather a few years and then can have a new try. If they vote for a younger one they'd have to put up with him for thirty or so years, and where's the excitement in that?
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#51 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 13 March 2013 - 08:59 PM

they should have term limits - four years or til God calls him home, whichever comes first.
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#52 User is offline   Gnaw 

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Posted 14 March 2013 - 12:53 AM

View PostMacros, on 13 March 2013 - 08:14 PM, said:

as the selection of the new pope doesnt really affect me I shouldn't really care, but it always bugs me that is an old guy.
I understand paying your dues and working your way up the ladder in business. But wouldn't iut be better to install a pretty young pope and have him serve for a long time, rather than bring in 76 year old man who may drop of heart attack or turn senile at any moment?


Not to mention that a younger man might actually believe that "Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God" and "But woe to you who are rich, for you have already received your comfort" shit. And if by some chance somebody who did believe it slipped in, it's much easier to explain the death of an octogenarian.
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#53 User is offline   Darkwatch 

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Posted 14 March 2013 - 01:15 AM

I'm rather disappointed that they did not chose me or Worrywort.
Also I feel for Abyss as there will be no Pope Poutine.
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#54 User is offline   Gwynn ap Nudd 

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Posted 14 March 2013 - 01:16 AM

Meh, if they elected a young white guy, it would be a young white guy who agreed with the more conservative opinions of the Church. Actually, not just agreeed with, but was vociferously in favour of them. Likely meaning that thirty to fifty years from now, there would still be a pope who agreed with the conservative side of what the Cardinals do now. No thanks.

I'm thinking something on par with having elected a young US president in the sixties who was still in power and still thought (though he might not say it in public) that Jim Crow laws are a good idea.
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#55 User is offline   King Lear 

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Posted 14 March 2013 - 01:39 AM

View PostBriar King, on 14 March 2013 - 01:24 AM, said:

I'm not being an ass on purpose but I thought Francis was a female name?


It's both. Lots of names are. Although if I remember correctly, all the St Francises are dudes.
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#56 User is offline   Spoilsport Stonny 

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Posted 14 March 2013 - 01:48 AM

View PostOrnery Owl, on 14 March 2013 - 01:39 AM, said:

View PostBriar King, on 14 March 2013 - 01:24 AM, said:

I'm not being an ass on purpose but I thought Francis was a female name?


It's both. Lots of names are. Although if I remember correctly, all the St Francises are dudes.


Even St. Francis of a Sissy
Theorizing that one could poop within his own lifetime, Doctor Poopet led an elite group of scientists into the desert to develop a top secret project, known as QUANTUM POOP. Pressured to prove his theories or lose funding, Doctor Poopet, prematurely stepped into the Poop Accelerator and vanished. He awoke to find himself in the past, suffering from partial amnesia and facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own bowels was made through brainwave transmissions, with Al the Poop Observer, who appeared in the form of a hologram that only Doctor Poopet could see and hear. Trapped in the past, Doctor Poopet finds himself pooping from life to life, pooping things right, that once went wrong and hoping each time, that his next poop will be the poop home.
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#57 User is offline   King Lear 

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Posted 14 March 2013 - 02:06 AM

That is possibly the lamest pun I've ever seen :wub:
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#58 User is online   worry 

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Posted 14 March 2013 - 02:48 AM

Likes I always says, it's ain't always easy to be so frank.


Meanwhile:
http://publicshaming...-church-selects
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#59 User is offline   Hinter 

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Posted 14 March 2013 - 03:56 AM

View Postworrywort, on 14 March 2013 - 02:48 AM, said:

Likes I always says, it's ain't always easy to be so frank.


Meanwhile:
http://publicshaming...-church-selects


Is this for real?

As a confirmed atheist I'm still...shocked.
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#60 User is offline   King Lear 

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Posted 14 March 2013 - 05:29 AM

Oh that's horrific. Burn them all.
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