Malazan Empire: Zombie Kill of the Week - Malazan Empire

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Zombie Kill of the Week

#1 User is offline   Lady Bliss 

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:23 PM

When I heard the news about the Fall of the Empire Hostess, I knew that this was It. The Mayan Calendar and Inevitable Doom didn't seem so far fetched anymore. It was time to arm myself. Lucky for me, I was prepared. The trick to surviving an apocalypse is to stockpile the essentials. I donned my biker boots, and a mishmash of homemade armor bike helmet and vest made out of spoons then got into my Urban Assault Vehicle Toyota Prius to go into The City. I was none too soon. Chaos had already struck. Survivors were fighting in the streets and I had to push and club my way to the dwindling local food supplies. Just as I reached for the last box of Twinkies, a zombie lurched out from behind a shelf trying to grab me.
"BRAAAAAAAAAINZZZ!"
I pulled out my standard issue samurai steel chef knife and neatly decapitated him! NO ONE comes between ME and MY Twinkies!


Attached File  stockpile.jpg (36.81K)
Number of downloads: 0
"If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?" - Shylock
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#2 User is offline   Primateus 

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:29 PM

Hmmm, those DingDongs look appropriately disgusting and delicious at the same time...

And you say they'll no longer be available? DAMN YOU AMERICA for taking away all the good things in life!
Screw you all, and have a nice day!

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#3 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 05:58 PM

...TWINKIEEEEEZZZZZZZ....
THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
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#4 User is offline   Salt-Man Z 

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 06:49 PM

Hrm. Might have to stop by the grocery store on the way home tonight...
"Here is light. You will say that it is not a living entity, but you miss the point that it is more, not less. Without occupying space, it fills the universe. It nourishes everything, yet itself feeds upon destruction. We claim to control it, but does it not perhaps cultivate us as a source of food? May it not be that all wood grows so that it can be set ablaze, and that men and women are born to kindle fires?"
―Gene Wolfe, The Citadel of the Autarch
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#5 User is offline   Lady Bliss 

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 07:12 PM

 Salt-Man Z, on 16 November 2012 - 06:49 PM, said:

Hrm. Might have to stop by the grocery store on the way home tonight...


Arm yourself my friend... it's ugly out there...
"If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?" - Shylock
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#6 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 07:28 PM

Hasn't there been a suggestion that they would restart Twinkie production outside of the US?


I'm not really following the apocalypse story but i recall reading that it was due to a Chinese nano-zombie infestation designed to force foreign investment union strike...
THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
0

#7 User is offline   HiddenOne 

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 07:32 PM

total BS, the company may go down, but the snacks will never die

I'm not afraid
HiddenOne. You son of a bitch. You slimy, skulking, low-posting scumbag. You knew it would come to this. Roundabout, maybe. Tortuous, certainly. But here we are, you and me again. I started the train on you so many many hours ago, and now I'm going to finish it. Die HO. Die. This is for last time, and this is for this game too. This is for all the people who died to your backstabbing, treacherous, "I sure don't know what's going on around here" filthy lying, deceitful ways. You son of a bitch. Whatever happens, this is justice. For me, this is justice. Vote HiddenOne Finally, I am at peace.
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#8 User is offline   Slow Ben 

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 07:36 PM

Yeah, Hostess may go. But sadly somebodys going to keep making that junk.
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#9 User is offline   Baco Xtath 

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 09:43 PM

Check out ebay here http://www.ebay.com/...40&_nkw=hostess : Twinkies are aucitoning off for $20 a box and buy it now's are at $25 - $30. Go hoard Hostess and be rich.

Edit:one cannot horde twinkies.

This post has been edited by Baco Xtath: 16 November 2012 - 09:46 PM

"Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett, Jingo"Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken." - Terry Pratchett, Eric
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#10 User is offline   HiddenOne 

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Posted 16 November 2012 - 09:58 PM

that's crazy, one guy wants $500

and I never got to try the chocolate filled twinkies
HiddenOne. You son of a bitch. You slimy, skulking, low-posting scumbag. You knew it would come to this. Roundabout, maybe. Tortuous, certainly. But here we are, you and me again. I started the train on you so many many hours ago, and now I'm going to finish it. Die HO. Die. This is for last time, and this is for this game too. This is for all the people who died to your backstabbing, treacherous, "I sure don't know what's going on around here" filthy lying, deceitful ways. You son of a bitch. Whatever happens, this is justice. For me, this is justice. Vote HiddenOne Finally, I am at peace.
0

#11 User is offline   Ain't_It_Just_ 

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Posted 17 November 2012 - 04:55 AM

That's impressive, but the real question here is: do you have enough bacon to outlast the ravening hordes of undead? Or will you, in a fit of desperation and unwillingness to broaden your horizons, switch to human flesh in order to sate your greasy desires?
Suck it Errant!


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QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.


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#12 User is offline   Loki 

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Posted 17 November 2012 - 06:02 AM

You own a Prius??? ^_^

Wry, on 29 February 2012 - 10:50 AM, said:

And you're not complaining, you're criticizing. It's a side-effect of being better than everyone else, I get it sometimes too.

~TQB~
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#13 User is offline   Tiste Simeon 

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Posted 17 November 2012 - 09:35 AM

Pfft if the Zombies took over a Marmite plant then we'd be in trouble...
A Haunting Poem
I Scream
You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.
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#14 User is offline   Primateus 

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Posted 17 November 2012 - 10:11 AM

 Tiste Simeon, on 17 November 2012 - 09:35 AM, said:

Pfft if the Zombies took over a Marmite plant then we'd be in trouble...


nonsense, let them have it!

Zombie pigs, however, are a serious problem because zombie bacon is an abomination and must be purged!
Screw you all, and have a nice day!

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#15 User is offline   Kruppe's snacky cakes 

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Posted 17 November 2012 - 03:51 PM

I've got an open box of Zingers. Do I need to save the rest as my retirement plan?

Anyway, has Batman been notified?

Attached File  hostess05.jpg (183.49K)
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#16 User is offline   Gust Hubb 

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Posted 17 November 2012 - 04:27 PM

Apparently Hostess still stands by the twinkie life time of 25 days not eternity.
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#17 User is offline   Baco Xtath 

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Posted 18 November 2012 - 12:02 AM

Guy's asking for one million dollars for a bunch of twinkies and other misc. hostess junk. If you're interested bid here http://www.ebay.com/...984.m1423.l2649
"Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life." - Terry Pratchett, Jingo"Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken." - Terry Pratchett, Eric
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#18 User is offline   Kruppe's snacky cakes 

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Posted 19 November 2012 - 03:37 PM

We've been through this before: Sweet success: Fannie May back after bankruptcy

I had to go a few years without my mint meltaways...but now I enjoy a box at Christmastime every year, just as before. I would expect an even faster return for the Twinkie.

This post has been edited by Kruppe's snacky cakes: 19 November 2012 - 03:38 PM

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#19 User is offline   Lady Bliss 

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Posted 19 November 2012 - 03:53 PM

 Kruppe, on 19 November 2012 - 03:37 PM, said:

We've been through this before: Sweet success: Fannie May back after bankruptcy

I had to go a few years without my mint meltaways...but now I enjoy a box at Christmastime every year, just as before. I would expect an even faster return for the Twinkie.


Maybe so... but I suspect the snowballs and chocodiles will go the way of the dodo.
"If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?" - Shylock
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