[Baverel]

dammit, orfantal y the hell r they so bloody long???
yes, i kno all the swearing aint too poetic

[Aimless]

Still-Life

(Freeze-frame)

Let's play a game.
It's a simple set:
White bread and jam,
cuppa tea and me.

What mars this scene?
I've burst my dam--
Can you spot it?
Nothing's the same,

but it's still life.



That didn't work out like I wanted it to (though the symmetry worked, it was too short, and the content had to be changed to conform to syllables and rhyme-scheme). I think I'll just have to recycle it sometime in the future

Now. Orfantal, quit messing Bav about, she can't help it if she's a ditsy blonde!!

Bavm quit messing Orfantal about. He can't help it if he's fallen prey to your textuality!!

*ducks and runs*

[Farad]

easy i didn't find it

[Orfantal]

Aimless - more like shameless - anyway, Still life, interesting but I'm not sure I got it.

Bav - have now checked the album out - o to be young again

I do lurk a bit, unfortunately my access to the forum is pretty limited and while I used to contribute more across a number of areas, its difficult to do now. I do have the odd scan to see whats going on.

[Baverel]

I can't . either I'm dumb or Im sleepy.

I decided to um follow the trend
don't blame me for copying you guys Chaos, Darkwatch n Aimless
u set the trend so you should have foreseen this. is there a word like tht actually...?



So it seems they have tired
Of coming here every night

These dreams so unfaithful
You’ve not lost your sight

Traveler of these roads in this mind
Dried out earth rises in columns of dust.

Pilgrims who passed sometimes
Fled from this place so fast.

An unreal maladie
An imagined sadness
Plagues my cracked lips

A stream of cruel words
Tasteless
Stains my fingertips.

At dawn I polish my awakening mask
My sanity
That I will wear until dusk.



not a masterpiece but have i ever written any anyway?

[Orfantal]

quote:

---

Originally posted by Baverel:
wait...

---

for what?

How about "Dance of Desperation"?

[Baverel]

bravissimo for ashes, Orfantal, getting back into my limited range of understanding there mate
funny thingie from me, not ambitious or original or anything

However hard you may fight
Anger and weakness prevail
There can be no escape from the night
Even if you die with this day

farad knows the answer damn easy

[Cause]

Aah poetry must resist destroying post. Having just written English literature I must ask what on earth are you people doing. Poetry! thats what. Scary, I think I just dont get poetry. To me if you have something to say say it. Why hide it in metaphors and similes and complex imagery.

I apologise and mean no offence but poetry? Who knows maybe one day I may even like it. Their is a four line stanza from some poem that I like but when compared to the hundreds of poems I have to read four lines is not really that good.

[Farad]

@ bav not that bad ta

[Baverel]

people don't disappear, nothing disappears, it just changes its location.
this is a bad day. a very bad day. quite all right for writing terribly sad poems in terribly sad style. not sad cause it's full of despair, sad cos it's damn fecking crap and melodramatic. yeah, i need a rant.

[Orfantal]

@ Apsalar - interesting, almost gives a staccato succession of images, like freeze frame. Don't know if this is what you intended. Picks out the innocence and curiosity of the child.

@ Bav - liked the second of these two better. The first one seemed just a bit too vague and mysterious. Happy stuff you, nah don't believe that. I agree with Farad - the one on the 17th Oct was the best of the lot.

[Baverel]

Alone in this house again
I'm crawling up the walls

I'm falling down the stairs
I'm lying on the floor

Alone in this house again
I'm crawling up the walls
I'm repeating over and over
hello? hello?

I'm opening all the windows
and screaming please come in

I'm locking all the doors
screaming I know I'll find you somewhere here

Alone in this house again
I'm crawling up the walls
trying to touch every place
that you might have touched.



written without any work really, just something that your mind dictates to you, it's so natural that I don't even know if it's good or not, so please tell me

[Orfantal]

Bav - fancy blaming that on me.

Aimless - good stuff. Why 81, does that mean something? "Sinking Road" I presumed was about death, liked it. "Enchanted Glade" didn't do much for me, but I liked "Why did I cross the street" a lot, especially the last line. "Blackberry Flail" was interesting, great title by the way, but I didn't like the repetition of Keeper - three times in the first section. "Dead Wood" I need to read a few times, it's definitely got some very good parts but I'm not sure about how it all hangs together.

[Orfantal]

I don't know about a plague, but here's one I wrote on the train this morning.

Hall of Remembrance

As I walk through the marble hall of my memory,
I do not glance to either side
where a thousand oak panelled doors
stand tall and ominous.
My footsteps on the cold stone are silent,
the only sound my tortured breathing,
and though the hall is empty
I feel the crushing presence of all
that is held behind the doors
pressing all around me.

I march ever onwards, resolute,
eyes fixed firmly on the distant horizon,
constant in my concentration.
But as I toil on I see to my horror
that an end approaches.
I draw close and reach out a trembling hand
to touch the blank and empty wall
that blocks my way.

I stand afraid to turn,
skin crawling in horror,
as I hear the gentle sigh
of a thousand doors sliding open,
and my throat is torn raw
by the scream I let loose.

[Baverel]

Aimless - Liked still life. A lot. Quite clever really. even though i had to do it again today and i swear to hood it was the last thing i wanted to draw *rollseyes*

[Baverel]

well, yes, Fried Toast...this is so...you!

all right, to be honest, i didn't enjoy this as much as i did your other stuff, like the piece with pulling down stars, that was brilliant. or the rabbit roadkill.

hey back to the present.
'insomnical daydreams to fill endless nights' - this is the best line and it's quite genius when compared with the rest

with wishes of sweet dreams
...
Baverel