Malazan Empire: Lord Sir Fergusons' CHAMPIONS go two points clear! - Malazan Empire

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Lord Sir Fergusons' CHAMPIONS go two points clear!

#1 User is offline   Weave 

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Posted 14 August 2011 - 05:11 PM

Legendary
Reigning Premier League Champions Manchester united today threw down the gauntlet to their title rivals,
and have already opened up what looks like an unassailable two point lead in the league.

This massive 200% point advantage puts united in a commanding position heading into the
final 37 games of the season. Having seen talismanic stalwart Own Goal once again dazzle his team to victory, Lord Sir Alex knows no-other team in the league can boast a player able to get his team a win from nowhere like he can. A true legend of the modern game this reporter feels privileged to witness.

Special One
Lord sir knows not just that his young team of legendary youngsters has a point advantage, but also a psychological one.
Earlier in the day seeing a inept Chelsea side with an average age older than their manager fail to do it on a Sunny Sunday Afternoon at the Brittania, a sure sign their mental state is all over the place at the disappointment of AVB not being the Special One Jose Mourinho.

Waitress
Meanwhile yesterday perennial bridesmaids Arsenal, lost not just the 2 points but their discipline, and already face losing star SUMMER signing Gervinho for 2 crucial games. Lord Sir Ferguson was said to be quoted at dinner while looking at the waitress's 34DD breasts he didn't believe the arsenal kids had the winning mentality to catch up the 2 point distance to his all conquering team. The same goes for Liverpool, who looked so average not only are they ruled out from equalling Lord Sir's record nineteen titles this term, they may end the season with just seventeen.

DEATH!
Also, the noisy neighbours across the DMZ, Manchester City, have suffered a drastically slow start the season, having not even kicked off yet! A disastrous error in this reports' opinion. Gifting your rivals a 3 point lead at this stage of the campaign is perhaps the final nail in Mancini's coffin. A likely replacement at the helm could be Harry Redknapp. Who craftily, allegedly incited riots in the Tottenham locale to get his Spurs teams game cancelled, thus avoiding cup-tieing himself, leaving the door open to make a move to City, where his Del Boy like wheeler dealing looks sure to prove a success with the billions at his disposal.


Numbers
While it's true you can't win the Title in August, it looks like the also rans have already lost it, and Lord Sir's team are in a commanding position. if you take the stats from the season so far, and work out an average and apply it to the games left, Lord Sir's team will end the season with a 64 point advantage against the teams still being miss-labelled by other publications as title 'rivals'. Those numbers are cold hard unedited facts. You can't argue the numbers.

World Record Signing.
With 2 weeks left of this transfer window, the other teams would be wise to start rebuilding in order to take a swing at next seasons league. Failing to build now could see United create a dynasty that will dominate English football for the decades to come. It's likely Liverpool or City would need to make 3-4 World record transfer purchases to be competitive, with rumours of Naymar, Ribery and Ramos, already nearing deals to join Liverpool, while City have offered Belgium, The Repulic of Congo, and 4 islands in Micro Indonesia in an effort to lure charismatic Cristiano Ronaldo from Real Madrid.


This post has been edited by Weave: 14 August 2011 - 05:12 PM

All that is needed for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing. ~ Edmond Burke.
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#2 User is offline   Tsundoku 

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Posted 30 August 2011 - 07:34 AM

Not my own work, but it needs to be said:

I'd h8-2 be an Arsenal fan right now ... :ice:
"Fortune favors the bold, though statistics favor the cautious." - Indomitable Courteous (Icy) Fist, The Palace Job - Patrick Weekes

"Well well well ... if it ain't The Invisible C**t." - Billy Butcher, The Boys

"I have strong views about not tempting providence and, as a wise man once said, the difference between luck and a wheelbarrow is, luck doesn’t work if you push it." - Colonel Orhan, Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City - KJ Parker
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