Malazan Empire: Challenges Discussion - Malazan Empire

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Challenges Discussion

#41 User is offline   Merrid 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:02 PM

A quick look confirms that I need to head to the island just across the bay. Sigh. Luckily I haven't lost any distance. As it us a mess out there.


Stroke-breath-stroke-breath

#42 User is offline   Eloth 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:04 PM

Well, since apparently I am doing not too bad, best get away a bit more from all those crazy people trying to drown a few others - stroke, stroke, breathe, stroke, stroke, breathe - to the tune of KoKomo by the Beach Boys...

#43 User is offline   Tulas Shorn 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:04 PM

Seeing that I am getting nowhere flirting with the incredibly handsome host, I shrug once and dive,once again, into the ocean.

rolling onto my side I perform a solid breast stroke. kicking my legs as fast as they will go, keeping my distance from a red faced Barghast.

I give him a wink for his trouble and paddle away.

#44 User is offline   Gamelon 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:11 PM

Falling back on his days as a dolphin trainer for Sea World, Gamelon draws the attention of a passing dolphin.

He slowly lowers himself into the water beside the magnificent creature so as not to startle it.

'There boy, that's a good Flipper,'
he thinks to himself as he strokes the dolphin's bottled-nose.

Moving abreast of the creature Gamelon takes hold of his new friend's fin and gestures to the shore. With a whistle and chirp the dolphin shoots off and heads for shallow water.






EDIT: Spelling

This post has been edited by Gamelon: 11 April 2011 - 06:19 PM


#45 User is offline   Merrid 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:14 PM

Stroke-breath-stroke-breath


Some of these contestant must not have worked out at all before the show. That guy over there looks like a beached whale. Then there is the chick swimming with floaties. Although last time I looked floaties attached to kids arms not to the chest.

#46 User is offline   Tulas Shorn 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:16 PM

(Gasps for air, shaking my hair out of my face)

God this is a long swim. My arms feel like lead weights, and I tread water carefully to get my bearings.

There's Barghast, back on his back, floating in the sunlight.

Oh shit, Jeff's about to climax and he is turning towards

SPLAT!

Ewww, that's so gross. I laugh as Barghast wipes the sticky fluid off of his now ghost white face.

Gritting my teeth against the laughter bubbling up my throat, I take a breath and start paddling towards the still distant shore.

#47 User is offline   D'riss 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:26 PM

takes a huge intake of breath, "gasp", dives underneath the surface of the sea, swims deeper and deeper, what a huge breath, I didn't know this was possible, further down almost there, got it, touching the sandy sea bed, I open my eyes and there before me is a wrecked submarine, I look inside the hatch and there is an oxygen tank, I think of using it for air but then a thought strikes. I take one gulp of air and then unleash the rest of the air pointing the thing behind me, it propells me forward towards the beach in a whoosh, cutting the sea water aside like a hot knife through butter, I reach the shore and roll forward with a clatter and a bang as I hit the something solid. A coconut lands barely inches away from my body as I gasp once more for the fresh delicious air...

#48 User is offline   Tulas Shorn 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:26 PM

Snapping my head out of the water I once again gasp for breath.

Taking a quick inventory of those in the water, I see that I will not be the first to reach land, so I slow down my progression.

Better save my energy for the search ahead.

#49 User is offline   Merrid 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:29 PM

Stroke-breath-stroke

How is it even possible for people to not have traveled 1 foot from the boat?

Stroke-breath-stroke

#50 User is offline   Kalse 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:31 PM

The water around me is a chaotic mess. Sperm, whales, bodies, sharks, LSD? - everywhere. It's a wonder I can keep my head above water. I can feel my legs starting to cramp so I shift into the breast stroke. I hear Jeff yelling at me and I cringe. I finally let my eyes rest on the shore. Shit.

#51 User is offline   Gamelon 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:32 PM

Enjoying the spray of water rushing against his face Gamelon looks ahead to see a flailing figure in the water……they’re wearing blue……

Gamelon slows his mount to a stop besides the figure who is obviously struggling to stay afloat. Looking to shore he quickly calculates the remaining distance and concludes it would be an easy swim.

Deciding that it is time to start building team relations, he offers his dolphin to his drowning team member.

He watches the dolphin carry on with its new rider and then starts to swim towards shore.

#52 User is offline   Liosan 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:33 PM

What I thought was the beach was merely a sand bar in my path, so I continue my efforts, using my anger at the high price of gasoline to fuel my efforts.

#53 User is offline   Merrid 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:34 PM

Stroke-breath-stroke

I hope that driss will realize that he just flashed by me heading toward the island that we had just left. That would have been a lot more impressive if he had surfaced to get his bearings before blowing his load.

#54 User is offline   Eloth 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:36 PM

All these aids and attributes... fuck, it's a bestiary here, and if not then these guys and gals have sexual preferences I don't want to know about!

#55 User is offline   Barghast 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:37 PM

View PostTulas Shorn, on 11 April 2011 - 05:59 PM, said:

I dive off the boat, splashing down screaming "CANNON BALL!!!"

The mighty ripple caused by my gigantic dive splashes up and into the face of Barghast, making him choke on the salty ocean around him.

I climb back up the boat and out of reach of his flailing hands. Smiling in the sunlight I look at Jeff and ask

"Care to give a lady a ride to the shore, sweetheart?"



As I start to panic and flail around looking for something to grab onto. I stumble upon Tulas's as he surfaces and dunk him back under.

Slowly the panic subsides as I rest on his submerged form.

#56 User is offline   Hood's Path 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:38 PM

Did I fall asleep on this here inflatable whale? Well, five more minutes won't make any difference. Now if Jeff would just stop with his damn yelling, I can catch a little more beauty sleep.

#57 User is offline   Tiamatha 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:40 PM

made it!! I jump off my sperm whale and my run through the last 5 feet of water!! I can see the finish line! I look around and see that I am not the only one on the beach. Time to hunker down and make this happen. Good thing I was a sprinter in college. I i take off towards the finish line knowing that it will be a close finish.

#58 User is offline   Eloth 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:41 PM

Not a sprinter, but a damned good beach volleyball player. And that helps with ze sand.

#59 User is offline   Barghast 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:43 PM

View PostTulas Shorn, on 11 April 2011 - 06:16 PM, said:

(Gasps for air, shaking my hair out of my face)

God this is a long swim. My arms feel like lead weights, and I tread water carefully to get my bearings.

There's Barghast, back on his back, floating in the sunlight.

Oh shit, Jeff's about to climax and he is turning towards

SPLAT!

Ewww, that's so gross. I laugh as Barghast wipes the sticky fluid off of his now ghost white face.

Gritting my teeth against the laughter bubbling up my throat, I take a breath and start paddling towards the still distant shore.


Unfortunattely the laughter could not be contained and you inhale a huge mouthful of sea water causing you to sputter and choke. All progress lost. I recover from my misfortunes and decide that it's time to get serious and head to the beach. I turn over and taking Merrids lead.

Stoke- Stoke- Stroke- Breath.

Stoke- Stroke- Stroke- Breath.

#60 User is offline   Kalse 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:44 PM

Ahead of me, Tiam has reached either the beach or another sandbar and started running frantically down its length. Going...where? I let my mind focus on how I will find the idol as my body starts to ache and reject my orders. Just a little more...

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