Malazan Empire: Ok, lets get real about the K'Chain Che'Malle for a second - Malazan Empire

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Ok, lets get real about the K'Chain Che'Malle for a second Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is offline   stender 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 02:12 AM

Let me start by saying this is my first post, and this has probably been stated before. I also want to say that I love this series; DG is in the top 3 for my favorite book ever which is in there with a lot of other books. I do have a few things about the series though... here it goes...

Okay, I have never like the K'Chain Che'Malle. They have always struck me as what a 9-year old and his best friend would come up with and draw in their spiral notebooks when they should be doing homework.

I mean lets be completely realistic... these are a race of super-intelligent...velociraptors...from outer-space...with swords for arms.... I mean how the hell are they supposed to work the handle on the steel kitchen door to get in and kill the kids when they have swords for arms?(Did anyone get that reference?) Every time they come up I picture this from Calvin and Hobbes:

Posted Image

Add to this (quick spoiler coming up):

Spoiler


It almost embarrasses me at how juvenile the whole idea of them seems at times. Don't get me wrong, they are written well and the whole Matron thing and every other aspect of the race's characters are great. But the whole premise of the race itself is just... just... I don't know... Anyone else feel the same way?

As to Icarium in DoD:
Spoiler


If I have somehow misread any of the parts please let me know, as I would be happy to have this not be the case. Ok, that's all I have to say. Let the flaming of the forum noob commence. Thanks in advance to anyone who replies in a civil/intelligent manner.
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#2 User is offline   SpectreofEschaton 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 02:19 AM

Spoiler


That is all. (Without end, that is all. :D)
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#3 User is offline   Sinisdar Toste 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 02:53 AM

i'll admit i had the same reaction when i first heard of the k'chain. velociraptors with swords for hands? yeah, that's like a geeks wet dream or something, but i got over that :D

after all, the k'ell are only one particular breed of che'malle. Hoods Balls, some che'malle have tentacle hands! like many of SE's concepts, the k'chain seem ludicrous on the surface, but there is a great depth of thought and consideration put into them.

ask yourself, how would dinosaurs have evolved if they hadn't been wiped out? i assume that's just what SE did.

as for Icarium,
Spoiler
RAFO.
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#4 User is offline   Mentalist 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 02:56 AM

well, they were called "The Firstborn of Dragons". So, it's possible they were actually native to SD.

also, once you can get past the "they are in here just for the cool factor", KCCM are actually one of the more interesting races. because they are the most technologically advanced race in the world, involved in gene manipulation, their sorcery is reputedly based on sound, and, it's possible they were the ones who set Chaos to chase Order, thus ensuring the universe is finite.

there's much more to them that super-dinos with swords. although the KCNR in DoD were actually a bit flat. but that's because we never go a PoV from them.
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View PostJump Around, on 23 October 2011 - 11:04 AM, said:

And I want to state that Ment has out-weaseled me by far in this game.
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#5 User is offline   Studlock 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 04:23 AM

I may be a bit of a fanboy here but I think KCCM were well done, and better than all of the stereotypical "lizard-men" type people that pop up every now and then. From the specific castes to the way they talked (if you could call it that) to each other, I found it all interesting. I always wondered what dinosaurs would look like if the kept on evolving and it was cool to see that idea brought to life. I am pretty sure they're native to Wu and if not they're defintly not from outer-space, perhaps from a warren. As the swords-on-hands, that was only for the K'ell Hunters which I assume (wrongly even) made it easier to hunt and just generally kill things.
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#6 User is offline   Sinisdar Toste 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 05:06 AM

View PostStudlock, on 11 April 2011 - 04:23 AM, said:

I may be a bit of a fanboy here but I think KCCM were well done, and better than all of the stereotypical "lizard-men" type people that pop up every now and then. From the specific castes to the way they talked (if you could call it that) to each other, I found it all interesting. I always wondered what dinosaurs would look like if the kept on evolving and it was cool to see that idea brought to life. I am pretty sure they're native to Wu and if not they're defintly not from outer-space, perhaps from a warren. As the swords-on-hands, that was only for the K'ell Hunters which I assume (wrongly even) made it easier to hunt and just generally kill things.


better than other lizard-men creations becoz they weren't anthropomorphized at all. i'm also fairly certain that we do indeed get hints in DoD and tCG that the k'chain were invaders of Wu themselves. from warren or wherever it was
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#7 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:03 AM

But dinosaurs did keep on evolving:

Posted Image
They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#8 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:31 AM

Now imagine that chicken has a proton pack on its back and a raygun in its miniature hands.
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#9 User is offline   King Bear 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:32 AM

Evolved? pfft! Spare me your rational arguments. Evolution is a lie, as this picture clearly proves:

Attached File  creation-590x472.jpg (80.63K)
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#10 User is offline   Isa 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:49 AM

I was a skeptic at first, especially concerning the K'ell but I think he managed to justify their existence... I did like them better before they had POVs though, shrouded in mystery as they were.

View PostSpectreofEschaton, on 11 April 2011 - 02:19 AM, said:

Spoiler


That is all. (Without end, that is all. :D)


That picture always makes me ridiculously happy, it's pure comic (if somewhat esoteric) genius.
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#11 User is offline   Studlock 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 06:53 AM

View Postworrywort, on 11 April 2011 - 06:03 AM, said:

But dinosaurs did keep on evolving:

Posted Image


No one wants to think how a t-rex turned into a chicken, thus I just ignore it.
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#12 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 07:04 AM

Posted Image
Here's a modern rendition of a T-Rex. Your childhood has now been ruined.
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#13 User is offline   Cyphon 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 09:14 AM

Let's get real on a subject matter in speculative fiction?

My head hurts.
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#14 User is offline   King Bear 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 09:51 AM

View PostStudlock, on 11 April 2011 - 06:53 AM, said:

No one wants to think how a t-rex turned into a chicken, thus I just ignore it.



Though if you're Goodkind what the t-rex has become is still the most badass, most EVIL, creature on the planet.

This post has been edited by Bombur: 11 April 2011 - 09:52 AM

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#15 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 12:27 PM

View PostGothos, on 11 April 2011 - 07:04 AM, said:

Posted Image
Here's a modern rendition of a T-Rex. Your childhood has now been ruined.

If I wasn't happy with my current avatar this would totally be worthy.
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#16 User is offline   D'iversify 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 03:04 PM

Jurassic Park would have been significantly less scary if those velociraptors had been properly represented (as mildly menacing turkeys). And don't even start on the T-rex:

Jack Horner on the jeep chase scene - if "the Jeep had crashed and Ellie and Ian had died, the tyrannosaur might have sniffed out the site, but only after their bodies had been rotting long enough to broadcast a telltale odor. In any event, the dinosaur would not have pursued the Jeep as it sped away"

Posture's also all wrong in the film; popular depiction of T rex is based on an erroneously reconstructed 'upright' skeleton at the American Museum of Natural History (now corrected).
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#17 User is offline   Ceda Cicero 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 08:12 PM

View PostBattle Plaptypus, on 11 April 2011 - 06:31 AM, said:

Now imagine that chicken has a proton pack on its back and a raygun in its miniature hands.


That sounds like an evil chicken to me. A chicken that sounds like a chicken, but isn't.

I look at that picture and completely understand the concept of a chicken that is not a chicken. A chicken that is evil manifest.

View PostIlluyankas, on 07 April 2011 - 08:37 PM, said:

How do you rape a cave? Do you ask, "You want to fuck, yes?" hear the echo come back, "Yes... es... es..." and get your barnacle-gouged groove on?

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#18 User is offline   stender 

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Posted 11 April 2011 - 11:09 PM

You all have it wrong, the Super Mario Bros. movie (which was a documentary, filmed in real time) showed us what would have happened if dinosaurs were allowed to evolve. And it is not KCCM.

BTW, I just parenthetically referenced a TV show1 that in said reference is in the act of referencing a movie2, all while referencing a completely different movie3...


For anyone wondering:

1- ATHF
2- Highlander
3- Super Mario Bros.
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#19 User is offline   Pig Iron 

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Posted 12 April 2011 - 02:16 AM

Unrealistic? Unrealistic?

Sorry I have to write that again unrealistic?

I mean unrealistic?

Fucking KCCM almost extinct and you call them unrealistic? How insensitive can one be?
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#20 User is offline   SpectreofEschaton 

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Posted 12 April 2011 - 03:29 AM

View PostPig Iron, on 12 April 2011 - 02:16 AM, said:

Unrealistic? Unrealistic?

Sorry I have to write that again unrealistic?

I mean unrealistic?

Fucking KCCM almost extinct and you call them unrealistic? How insensitive can one be?


I wonder what K'chain tears smell like.

In all seriousness, though, I agree with everything that's been said above, I thought the concept of evolved dinosaurs was interesting and found their characterization in the novels completely believable. They fit into the Malazan world just fine, in my opinion.
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