Help
So I was eating with a friend today, and out of nowhere she asked:
"If you could have sex with any animal, what would it be?"
My reply: "Humans?"
Her: "But any animal?"
Me: "I prefer my own species"
Her: "I'd choose dolphins because they're the only other creatures who get pleasure out of sex."
Me: "don't you think that's weird?'
Her: "No. They'd enjoy it too."
WTF. SERIOUSLY CREEPED OUT.
Disturbing things your friends say
#2
cerveza_fiesta 
- Outdoor Tractivities !
-
- Group: Malazan Artist
- Posts: 5,341
- Joined: 28-August 07
- Location:Fredericton, NB, Canada
- Interests:beer, party.
Posted 08 March 2011 - 01:37 PM
I could have sex with 100 dolphins.
........oOOOOOo
......//| | |oO
.....|| | | | O....BEERS!
......\\| | | |
........'-----'
......//| | |oO
.....|| | | | O....BEERS!
......\\| | | |
........'-----'
#4
Tattersail_
- formerly Ganoes Paran
-
- Group: High House Mafia
- Posts: 13,263
- Joined: 16-July 10
- Location:Wirral
-
Interests:Mafia. Awesome Pictures. Awesome Videos. Did I mention Mafia?
snapchat - rustyspoon84
Posted 08 March 2011 - 01:40 PM
male or female dolphins? this would have to be answered first.
Apt is the only one who reads this. Apt is nice.
#5
The Tyrant Lizard
- First Sword
-
- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 639
- Joined: 27-January 07
Posted 08 March 2011 - 01:41 PM
bonobos love a bit of sex. I mean anal, oral, bisexual, with young ones...
My mate once started telling me about his fantasy with Cheryl Cole - at first I was going along with him but it took a turn for the weird in my opinion.
"I'm fucking cheryl cole and as I'm doing her from behind Ashley walks in... and starts bumming me."
My mate once started telling me about his fantasy with Cheryl Cole - at first I was going along with him but it took a turn for the weird in my opinion.
"I'm fucking cheryl cole and as I'm doing her from behind Ashley walks in... and starts bumming me."
I want to die the way my dad died, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming in terror like his passengers.
#6
Gothos
- Map painting expert
-
- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 5,428
- Joined: 01-January 03
- Location:.pl
Posted 08 March 2011 - 01:57 PM
Tattersail, on 08 March 2011 - 01:40 PM, said:
male or female dolphins? this would have to be answered first.
female, of course. he's not a deviant.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
#7
King Bear
- Furry
-
- Group: Team Quick Ben
- Posts: 798
- Joined: 08-February 11
Posted 08 March 2011 - 01:59 PM
Gothos, on 08 March 2011 - 01:57 PM, said:
Tattersail, on 08 March 2011 - 01:40 PM, said:
male or female dolphins? this would have to be answered first.
female, of course. he's not a deviant.
my friend is female.
#8
Primateus
- E Pluribus Anus
-
- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 2,344
- Joined: 03-July 10
- Location:A bigger town, but still small.
- Interests:Stuff, lots of stuff!
Posted 08 March 2011 - 02:03 PM
Gothos, on 08 March 2011 - 01:57 PM, said:
Tattersail, on 08 March 2011 - 01:40 PM, said:
male or female dolphins? this would have to be answered first.
female, of course. he's not a deviant.
Screw you all, and have a nice day!
#9
Gothos
- Map painting expert
-
- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 5,428
- Joined: 01-January 03
- Location:.pl
Posted 08 March 2011 - 02:12 PM
Bombur, on 08 March 2011 - 01:59 PM, said:
Gothos, on 08 March 2011 - 01:57 PM, said:
Tattersail, on 08 March 2011 - 01:40 PM, said:
male or female dolphins? this would have to be answered first.
female, of course. he's not a deviant.
my friend is female.
Right. So both.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
#10
Tattersail_
- formerly Ganoes Paran
-
- Group: High House Mafia
- Posts: 13,263
- Joined: 16-July 10
- Location:Wirral
-
Interests:Mafia. Awesome Pictures. Awesome Videos. Did I mention Mafia?
snapchat - rustyspoon84
Posted 08 March 2011 - 02:16 PM
Gothos, on 08 March 2011 - 02:12 PM, said:
Bombur, on 08 March 2011 - 01:59 PM, said:
Gothos, on 08 March 2011 - 01:57 PM, said:
Tattersail, on 08 March 2011 - 01:40 PM, said:
male or female dolphins? this would have to be answered first.
female, of course. he's not a deviant.
my friend is female.
Right. So both.
well then, is it a nice looking dolphin or one of thos ones that have survived a marine animal attack? I mean the last dolphin I saw was a little bit worse for wear, it'd probably have to be one approaching maturity that has escaped the harsh environment of the pacific ocean, i mean i'd probably look at one of the dolphin's that hang out off the coast of Portugal, they seem to be a nicer breed.
Apt is the only one who reads this. Apt is nice.
#11
King Bear
- Furry
-
- Group: Team Quick Ben
- Posts: 798
- Joined: 08-February 11
Posted 08 March 2011 - 02:19 PM
Tattersail, on 08 March 2011 - 02:16 PM, said:
Gothos, on 08 March 2011 - 02:12 PM, said:
Bombur, on 08 March 2011 - 01:59 PM, said:
Gothos, on 08 March 2011 - 01:57 PM, said:
Tattersail, on 08 March 2011 - 01:40 PM, said:
male or female dolphins? this would have to be answered first.
female, of course. he's not a deviant.
my friend is female.
Right. So both.
well then, is it a nice looking dolphin or one of thos ones that have survived a marine animal attack? I mean the last dolphin I saw was a little bit worse for wear, it'd probably have to be one approaching maturity that has escaped the harsh environment of the pacific ocean, i mean i'd probably look at one of the dolphin's that hang out off the coast of Portugal, they seem to be a nicer breed.
I could pass that on, but I don't want to encourage her. It was disturbing, and weird, and disturbing.
#12
Tattersail_
- formerly Ganoes Paran
-
- Group: High House Mafia
- Posts: 13,263
- Joined: 16-July 10
- Location:Wirral
-
Interests:Mafia. Awesome Pictures. Awesome Videos. Did I mention Mafia?
snapchat - rustyspoon84
Posted 08 March 2011 - 02:21 PM
what bit? does she like the scarred ones? has she ever actually practised any you know "experimenting"?
Apt is the only one who reads this. Apt is nice.
#13
Gothos
- Map painting expert
-
- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 5,428
- Joined: 01-January 03
- Location:.pl
Posted 08 March 2011 - 02:23 PM
Maybe you should dress and sing like a dolphin to get into her knickers.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
#15
Tattersail_
- formerly Ganoes Paran
-
- Group: High House Mafia
- Posts: 13,263
- Joined: 16-July 10
- Location:Wirral
-
Interests:Mafia. Awesome Pictures. Awesome Videos. Did I mention Mafia?
snapchat - rustyspoon84
Posted 08 March 2011 - 02:30 PM
Gothos, on 08 March 2011 - 02:23 PM, said:
Maybe you should dress and sing like a dolphin to get into her knickers.
maybe she is using this as a way to bring up the subject to see how you respond, maybe she wants you.. why not take Gothos' advice and see how things go?
edit - and let us know how things go too
This post has been edited by Tattersail: 08 March 2011 - 02:31 PM
Apt is the only one who reads this. Apt is nice.
#17
Sinisdar Toste
- Dead Serious
-
- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 3,851
- Joined: 14-July 07
- Location:The C-Hood
Posted 08 March 2011 - 02:51 PM
maybe your friend is a furry in the closet. would that be the correct term? furry? or is it rubbery?
There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.
- Oscar Levant
- Oscar Levant
#18
Aptorian
- How 'bout a hug?
-
- Group: The Wheelchairs of War
- Posts: 24,785
- Joined: 22-May 06
Posted 08 March 2011 - 02:53 PM
Bombur, on 08 March 2011 - 01:21 PM, said:
Her: "I'd choose dolphins because they're the only other creatures who get pleasure out of sex."
What nonsense. Plenty of animals get pleasure out of sex. Pigs are said to have 45 minute long orgasms or something to that effect. Chimps have been observed to have sex just for the fun of it or to kill time.
Now on topic. I'd chose a tiger... a giant female tiger.
Because if I am going to die having sex it might as well be fucking awesome.
#19
MTS
- Fourth Investiture
-
- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 4,334
- Joined: 02-April 07
- Location:Terra Australis
Posted 08 March 2011 - 03:01 PM
I think the fact she was going for is that a small number of mammal species - dolphins being one - have sex for pleasure, and not just for reproductive purposes.
Antiquis temporibus, nati tibi similes in rupibus ventosissimis exponebantur ad necem.
Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades.
Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades.
#20
Gothos
- Map painting expert
-
- Group: Malaz Regular
- Posts: 5,428
- Joined: 01-January 03
- Location:.pl
Posted 08 March 2011 - 03:02 PM
Clockwork Apt, on 08 March 2011 - 02:53 PM, said:
Bombur, on 08 March 2011 - 01:21 PM, said:
Her: "I'd choose dolphins because they're the only other creatures who get pleasure out of sex."
What nonsense. Plenty of animals get pleasure out of sex. Pigs are said to have 45 minute long orgasms or something to that effect.
Is that why people love bacon so much?
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
