[Tsundoku]

Dear Fleet Street,

According to you this pitch was supposed to help Australia. Unless England get rolled for about 50 I fail to see how.

Were any of the wickets NOT caught behind or at slip - gully?

What a disaster.

[MTS]

...aaand we're back. What an embarrassment. All out for 98...good lord.

[Tsundoku]

... that was the sound of the England openers passing our 1st innings score.

That's right - the openers, no wickets down.

If you wrote a script for the worst possible way for Australia to follow up after the gob-smacking miracle of Perth (which just served to paper over the cracks), you still probably wouldn't have imagined it to be this humiliating. It's a bloody good thing I decided not to buy a wide screen TV in time for this.

This series has been the most ... schizoid ... I have ever witnessed.

Test 1: Brisbane
Day 1,2,3 - Australia
Day 4,5 - England
DRAW

Test 2: Adelaide
Day 1,2,3,4 - England
ENGLAND WIN

Test 3: Perth
Day 1 - England
Day 2,3,4 - Australia
AUSTRALIA WIN

Test 4: Melbourne
Day 1 - England

WTF comes next???

Educated guess: England victory inside 4 days. At this moment they essentially have 20 wickets to our 10, their batsmen and bowlers are looking good. I doubt there will be a second miracle in a row for us. Our batsmen and selectors in particular need to take a good hard look at themselves. Ponting will not be captain after this series, but who to replace him? Clarke shouldn't be VC either, no matter what happens from here on in.

I think we have a few years in the wilderness ahead of us. It's not the fall - it's been expected after we lost all those great players - it's the sheer speed of it that has been embarrassing.

This post has been edited by Sombra: 26 December 2010 - 07:00 AM

[masan's saddle]

masan, on 19 December 2010 - 05:10 PM, said:

I'm glad I put all those "disclaimers" in my previous posts as England never fail to deliver in their unswerving commitment to shiteness.

I jokingly predicted 3:1 to Oz, it may now happen.

WTF England!..........., messing with my scientific methodology and approach to predicting results.

With regards to the match, I believe that what happened on day one was what is known in certain circles, to use the correct cricketing vernacular and parlance, as an ass raping.

England's bowling was very good, but FFS, surely the Aussie batsmen must be discussing the pitch, swing and general conditions ? Wafting at anything around the off stump when the ball is swinging like that is not advisable at the best of times, but for virtually the whole team to get out in that area beggars belief.

Ponting and Clarke need to go when the series ends and then begins the long slog towards building a new team.
Although what the building blocks are going to be ? Your guess is as good as mine. If they're not careful Aussie could go the same way as the West Indians when all their world beaters retired, up shit creek for 15 years.

It's not said very often, but well done England you were outstanding.

This post has been edited by masan's saddle: 27 December 2010 - 01:50 AM

[Fid]

Another absorbing day - but what does Punter hope to achieve by berating Aleem Dar over a rd umpire decision? He was lucky it was not adjudged a level 2 dissent - with the finger waving and pointing - maybe he wanted to be banned from the final test? At least he didn't complain at Prior's reprieve - which was a good and brave call by Dar. Thankful for all of the ex pat Seffricans propping up our upper order but someone should tell them that Colly needs a break - for his own good. Now if we can find a halfway-decent all rounder to replace Freddie then we will be doing ok. I wonder if England do make it over the line, as they should do, whether they may experiment in Sydney - go with Monty or bring back Finn to replace Colly?

[Tsundoku]

How the hell can the ball be that scuffed up and swinging like crazy in a light swirling breeze (as is usual for the MCG) after only 20-odd overs? Yet when we were bowling it only swung when it was old? Both sides are bowling mostly seam-up, and at pace, so what are the Poms doing different? Whatever it is, we need to learn how to do it, and fast.

This match is already over at 4/104 in our second innings, still about 1,000,000 runs behind ...

Day 2,3 - England

Will they even need a 4th day at this rate?

It's officially now time to

This post has been edited by Sombra: 28 December 2010 - 05:28 AM

[Fid]

Sombra, on 28 December 2010 - 05:22 AM, said:

How the hell can the ball be that scuffed up and swinging like crazy in a light swirling breeze (as is usual for the MCG) after only 20-odd overs? Yet when we were bowling it only swung when it was old? Both sides are bowling mostly seam-up, and at pace, so what are the Poms doing different? Whatever it is, we need to learn how to do it, and fast.

This match is already over at 4/104 in our second innings, still about 1,000,000 runs behind ...

Day 2,3 - England

Will they even need a 4th day at this rate?

It's officially now time to

You may need Malaclypse's rewrite of the LBW law and Shane Warne to be cloned (maybe from samples of his hair?)

[MTS]

I've given up at this point. At the moment I'm watching the SA/Indian Test series. It's far more entertaining and far less depressing and one-sided.

[Fid]

That's it now off to Sydney. Would be satisfying to finish this properly. 24 years is a long time - well done to the team

[Tsundoku]

Fid, on 28 December 2010 - 09:57 AM, said:

You may need Malaclypse's rewrite of the LBW law

Por que?

We have nothing further to lose at this point, and I can't see the current team saving any sort of face in Sydney, so why not go with an experimental side to blood some youngsters?

Congrats to England, by far the better side when it counted - players, tactics, mental strength, captain etc.

[MTS]

Sombra, on 29 December 2010 - 01:26 AM, said:

I can't see the current team saving any sort of face in Sydney

This Test was just embarrassing. We had a glimmer of hope when Strauss got knocked out by Hilf and Trott went for a duck, but Cook, Anderson, Collingwood, Bell, Prior, even Bresnan and Swann were better than us with the bat!

Also, can we have someone who ISN'T from NSW in the team? lol

[Fid]

Well done to Strauss and co - an impressive effort - showing some true grit when needed, like at the Gabba when it could all have gone so differently in the second innings, amd going to the MCG with the self confidence to put the WACA experience behind them. Most of the England teams in the past 24 years have failed to do that, so hats off. So that's it until the back to back series in 2013, and if the nucleus of this England team stays together, and guys like Morgan and Hildreth step up England will continue to be very strong. And if Khawaja fulfils his promise, he is going to be a tremendous player - definitely the most positive aspect for Australia, and I am sure that you will find some more - Haddin has been good and Smith played his best game yet. Not sure if Mitchell Johnson wants to ever encounter the Barmies again though.... And why Hauritz didn't appear at all I have no idea, but Doherty and Beer are unlikely to make it.

But more immediately, the T20s and ODIs await - with the World Cup to follow, there is plenty of cricket to come. Look forward to seeing Sombra, MTS etc discussing the next stage - some good posts guys.

This post has been edited by Fid: 07 January 2011 - 10:02 AM

[champ]

I think you guys played into our hands preparing the wickets with a touch of green on, you will be hard pushed to find a better bowling attack in world cricket when the ball is reverse swinging, shown too much respect for Swanny by doing this I reckon...

Also our batting collapses in the summer has gone a long way to putting steel into this England team, I have been suprised by our batting so say the least, with only Perth delivering an expected performance!

But to win 3 matches by an innings, against the Aussies Down Under, unbelievable... Pretty much still speechless!

[Fid]

champooon, on 07 January 2011 - 10:32 AM, said:

I think you guys played into our hands preparing the wickets with a touch of green on, you will be hard pushed to find a better bowling attack in world cricket when the ball is reverse swinging, shown too much respect for Swanny by doing this I reckon...

Also our batting collapses in the summer has gone a long way to putting steel into this England team, I have been suprised by our batting so say the least, with only Perth delivering an expected performance!

But to win 3 matches by an innings, against the Aussies Down Under, unbelievable... Pretty much still speechless!

The Sky team were discussing the reverse swing this morning. Not only do the bowlers have to possess the ability to do it, so loads of discipline and time in the nets etc, but the "shiners" need to be trained as well - the fact that both Cook and Colly hardly sweat has meant that when they shine the ball they keep the rough side dry, so they can get the ball into the ideal state. Not a murray mint needed, just a lack of sweaty palmed individuals.

[champ]

Fid, on 07 January 2011 - 01:48 PM, said:

champooon, on 07 January 2011 - 10:32 AM, said:

I think you guys played into our hands preparing the wickets with a touch of green on, you will be hard pushed to find a better bowling attack in world cricket when the ball is reverse swinging, shown too much respect for Swanny by doing this I reckon...

Also our batting collapses in the summer has gone a long way to putting steel into this England team, I have been suprised by our batting so say the least, with only Perth delivering an expected performance!

But to win 3 matches by an innings, against the Aussies Down Under, unbelievable... Pretty much still speechless!

The Sky team were discussing the reverse swing this morning. Not only do the bowlers have to possess the ability to do it, so loads of discipline and time in the nets etc, but the "shiners" need to be trained as well - the fact that both Cook and Colly hardly sweat has meant that when they shine the ball they keep the rough side dry, so they can get the ball into the ideal state. Not a murray mint needed, just a lack of sweaty palmed individuals.

It would be interesting to compare pictures of the ball after a similar amount of overs between the two teams and to see if there is much of a difference!

Pleased that there is no "Murray Mint-gate" this time around...

Related side story - I was at the England vs Pakistan one dayer game in Chester-le-Street and there was a guy dressed up as Bertie Bassett shouting at Stuard Broad on the boundary, asking him if he had any of his children in his pocket... He later did a Klinsmann dive at the stewards... on the gravel and got kicked out! Got to love the Barmy Army!

[Tsundoku]

http://www.foxsports...l-1225991930332

Geelong teenager Daniel Brew gives Australia captain Michael Clarke advice about his batting technique

* By Greg Buckle
* AAP
* January 20, 2011 8:20PM

Australia captain Michael Clarke's press conference came to an early end on Thursday when a young voice from the second row piped up with some free advice on his batting technique.

"I've noticed something Michael, you're pushing at the ball too much. What are you going to do about that?," 17-year-old Geelong lad Daniel Brew inquired.

Brew had somehow evaded security staff and sat among the journalists at the indoor cricket nets at Hobart's Bellerive Oval, enduring the first nine minutes of the press conference before taking his chance to make his feelings known.

Clarke, who endured a poor Ashes series and was booed by the MCG crowd during his innings of 36 off 57 balls in the first one-dayer against England last Sunday, put on a happy face.

"I'm pushing at the ball too much? You should be a batting coach," Clarke smiled.

"What do you think I should do about it?"

Daniel does some assistant-coaching and shows potential as a coach one day according to his father Owen, who is a Geelong cricket identity himself.

Undaunted by Clarke's invitation to continue the conversation, Daniel told Clarke he should "not reach for it so much".

Clarke, who impressively took the advice in his stride, responded: "Okay I'll try that today in the nets. Thank you."

Australia's media man thought that might be a good time to end the press conference.

Clarke later used his Twitter page to describe the incident as "one of the funniest press conferences you have ever seen".

Daniel later revealed he'd been asked a few questions by security staff, but he was chuffed about his experience.

The kid from the Geelong suburb of Grovedale was soon on the phone telling friends he might be in the paper the next day.

Earlier in Thursday's press conference, Clarke defended his tactics from Sunday's game.

"It wasn't the easiest of conditions to walk out and just smack it," he said.

"Watto (Shane Watson who made 161 not out) was playing an amazing knock and my role was to get up the other end and try not to lose wickets, try to build a partnership.

"We put on a hundred-run partnership which helped us set up the game.

"If people want to see fours, sixes and wickets taken every ball, that's not international cricket."

-------------------

Not really the Ashes, but applicable. And hilarious!

[MTS]

Ahahaha I know that kid. I'm buying him a beer next time I see him, what a champion.

[Fid]

MTS, on 20 January 2011 - 02:40 PM, said:

Ahahaha I know that kid. I'm buying him a beer next time I see him, what a champion.

Can you ask him to go and give the England ODI squad some advice on batting. Though as I read elsewhere, England fans can now be comforted by knowing we still know how to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory

[Tsundoku]

*bump*

OK this isn't the Ashes, but I wasn't about to start a new thread for the NZ and Indian tests.

Nice to see we still posess the ability to pull defeat from the jaws of victory. Losing 7 wickets in the space of 40 runs is simply fucking disgusting. From 2-159 to 9-199! And mostly to a bloody medium pace bowler!

Phil Hughes has had his last chance - never again.

Cricket Australia should eat some humble pie and beg Simon Katich to come back and partner Warner, who it was nice to see finally produced a quality non 20-20 innings as the team shat itself around him. However in his absence either call up Cowan, or put Hussey in as an opener - he did it for most of his career for WA.
Keep Khawaja at 3 or 4, I don't know why but I feel he has more to offer. If he shits it, give Marsh a go.
This should be Punter's last test series, and I hope he goes out in style. I feel that hope may be in vain though.
Dear Michael Clarke ... stop wafting at the ball. Signed, every Australian who has ever picked up a bat.
Shane Watson should be put down to 6 (it's a toss up between him and Hussey, who is still good, but not as good as he was) when he returns, to give him a break. He's talented, but not an opener.
If Tim Paine was fit I'd have him in for Haddin at 7, but he's out for the next 3-4 months. Le sigh.
Bowlers Pattinson, Siddle (nice to see a bit of a resurgence from him), Harris and Lyon. Let's see how they do against Laxman, Dravid, Tendulkar, Dhoni, Sehwag etc.
12th man? Meh, who cares?

I'd love for Cummins to come in (see what I did there?) and partner Pattinson with some venom, line and length from both ends (sounds kinky, eh?), but he's out for the summer with that foot thing. I hope they manage those 2 properly and the press don't go all "greatest pace bowlers since Thommo/Lillee/McGrath" on us and ruin them before they get a chance to begin.

Thoughts?

This post has been edited by Sombra: 14 December 2011 - 12:24 PM

[Tsundoku]

Yeesh, no bloody luck today. The lack of DRS has definitely aided the Indians, except for Haddin's not-out LBW yesterday. Not that it did him much good.

Nice to see Siddle get a just reward for excellent bowling without luck for almost the whole day. Getting Tendulkar just before stumps when it looked like he might go on to get a century early tomorrow makes up a bit for his no-ball when he bowled Dravid.

Still, with Dravid at the crease and Laxman, Dhoni and Kholi yet to bat, things don't look to good for us. The question isn't whether India will have a lead after the first innings, but rather how much?