Malazan Empire: the why thread? - Malazan Empire

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the why thread? I need to know!!!

#1 User is offline   Dolmen 2.0 

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    Waiting till jean gets here.

Posted 07 October 2010 - 12:39 PM

Presenting The Y

Bcoz I'm bored I thought I'd start a Simple thread game.

step 1: You answer the why question from most recent post

Step 2: You ask a why question in turn.

(pic replies are encouraged :shocking: )

We did this before I think but I thought its worth
another try ;)

and go!

Why do they put circular pizza in a square box???

This post has been edited by Dolmen: 08 October 2010 - 05:58 AM

“Behind this mask there is more than just flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea... and ideas are bulletproof Gas-Fireproof.”
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#2 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 12:49 PM

Because square boxes are cheaper to make and easier to trasport. Also leaves room for cutting slices and whatnot.


Why did Kamikadze pilots wear helmets?
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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#3 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 01:01 PM

In case they crashed.

Why do birds suddenly appear?
2012
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#4 User is offline   Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 01:08 PM

Just like me, they long to be close to you.

Why is a black hole black, or more specifically, why can't light escape it?
The love I bear thee can afford no better term than this: thou art a villain.

 "Perhaps we think up our own destinies and so, in a sense, deserve whatever happens to us, for not having had the wit to imagine something better." ― Iain Banks
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#5 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 01:30 PM

The immense mass bends spacetime heavily enough so that even photons can't escape it.


Why isn't nuclear energy a standard yet?
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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#6 User is offline   ffunky 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 01:36 PM

Because there's still too much oil to use up.

Why do spiders always build their webs were I walk?
All comments and notations by the above contributor are not necessarily endorsed or approved by the above contributor, and should the above contributor wish to argue with himself, the above contributor shall be bludgeoned by the above contributor with.... a herring.
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#7 User is offline   Satan 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 01:48 PM

Because you're a fly.

Why does the cafeteria dinner always taste like shit?
Legalise drugs! And murder!
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#8 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 01:49 PM

Because you've been going to the wrong cafeterias.

Why do people yawn when sleepy, tired or, more importantly, when someone else within their sight is yawning?
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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#9 User is offline   Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 03:16 PM

Yawning is a sign of sexual attraction, scientists claim.

Perhaps it's like butterflies mating then - one person yawns and other, attracted person yawns in desire-filled response.

Why does Swiss cheese have holes in it. And/or (if i'm not cheating by posing two questions, in which case you may pick which one to answer) why is cartoon cheese always said holey cheese - what's wrong with a good old bit of cheddar in cartoons?! (Okay, that's kind of three questions but I feel that they are each of equal value on the cheesey-importance scale.)

This post has been edited by Green Pig: 07 October 2010 - 03:17 PM

The love I bear thee can afford no better term than this: thou art a villain.

 "Perhaps we think up our own destinies and so, in a sense, deserve whatever happens to us, for not having had the wit to imagine something better." ― Iain Banks
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#10 User is offline   Menandore 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 03:20 PM

Swiss cheese is holey because the particular bacteria used to make it fart a lot. Swiss cheese appears in cartoons because cheddar's too boring.

Why do cats purr?
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#11 User is offline   Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 03:24 PM

Because they were originally going to bark but dogs ninja'd it from them, so to avoid looking like they copied the dogs, they had to come up with a different noise to make, hence purring.

Why is water wet?
The love I bear thee can afford no better term than this: thou art a villain.

 "Perhaps we think up our own destinies and so, in a sense, deserve whatever happens to us, for not having had the wit to imagine something better." ― Iain Banks
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#12 User is offline   Cobbles 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 03:59 PM

View PostGreen Pig, on 07 October 2010 - 03:24 PM, said:

Because they were originally going to bark but dogs ninja'd it from them, so to avoid looking like they copied the dogs, they had to come up with a different noise to make, hence purring.

Why is water wet?


Because if it were oil it would be oily.

Why does the government withhold evidence of alien visitors?
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#13 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 04:00 PM

For public safety, no sarcasm.

Why are people convinced the govt withold information about aliens?
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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#14 User is offline   Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 04:17 PM

Because of the absurdity of the idea that we are the only planet in the entire universe to have intelligent life living on it. Assuming said other intelligent lifeforms are (way) more technologically advanced than us with the ability to travel unimaginable distances across space (and assuming that they aren't as clueless about us as we are about them), then it is also logical to assume that they most probably have attempted to make some kind of contact with us (hostile or not) in the form of trying to land on our planet.

When people observe 'inexplicable' happenings in the night sky and are, by definition, unable to explain said happenings, they automatically assume that it must be an encounter/invasion of the aforementioned aliens. As the goverment then denies this theory in is perfectly reasonable to conclude that they are covering up what obviously must have happened.

Why is a lemon called a lemon?
The love I bear thee can afford no better term than this: thou art a villain.

 "Perhaps we think up our own destinies and so, in a sense, deserve whatever happens to us, for not having had the wit to imagine something better." ― Iain Banks
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#15 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 04:26 PM

(I'll have to follow up on your answer. From a popular infographic:

Quote

Between the insane rate at which technology advances, and the massive amount of time a species must exist to travel through interstellar space, the odds that we will be technologically within 5,000 years of the aliens are roughly absolute zero. Think about it this way: It won't be "lasers vs. machine guns", it'll be more like "nuclear weapons vs. sponges".

With that sort of difference, the idea that any government could hold back any information if the aliens wanted contact is pretty ludicrous.)


On Topic:
From arabic laimun, persian limun, general term for citrus fruit.


Why is the sky blue?
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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#16 User is offline   cerveza_fiesta 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 04:26 PM

It is a combination of the french worlds "le" and "monde", whose translated meaning is "the world".

This appelation came from the great french philosopher and nymphomaniac, Pepe le Coq, who observed that it was a logical adaptation of nature to place nipples on the end of a round, sour fruit so as to entice male land animals that might otherwise be deterred by the strong sour flavour. Being a nymphomaniac, he figured the world probably had nipples at the north and south poles too, since leCoq could not fathom why the gods would be so interested in our little evil-filled planet were it not adorned with something as arousing as a nipple.

Equating the two shapes in his mind, he named the fruit lemonde, which through the years lost the terminal "de" and ended up as Lemon.


Why does a cat purr?
........oOOOOOo
......//| | |oO
.....|| | | | O....BEERS!
......\\| | | |
........'-----'
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#17 User is offline   Sinisdar Toste 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 04:28 PM

edit: because i got ninja'd while replying to the lemon question, and the cat purring question was already asked and answered...

why do people assume that woodchucks chuck wood?

This post has been edited by Sinisdar Toste: 07 October 2010 - 04:30 PM

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#18 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 04:28 PM

[Off topic: I like CF's explanation better]
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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#19 User is offline   Menandore 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 05:00 PM

View PostSinisdar Toste, on 07 October 2010 - 04:28 PM, said:

edit: because i got ninja'd while replying to the lemon question, and the cat purring question was already asked and answered...

why do people assume that woodchucks chuck wood?


It's all in the name

Why do bears shit in the woods?
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#20 User is offline   Jade-Green Pig-Hog Swine-Beast 

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Posted 07 October 2010 - 05:18 PM

Quote

Why is the sky blue?


Shorter wavelengths of light are scattered by the molecules that make up the atmosphere causing the atmosphere (sky) to appear blue. (Longer wavelengths pass straight through and so we do not notice them.)

Quote

Why do people assume that woodchucks chuck wood?


If Chuck Norris could chuck wood, wood wouldn't exist!

Why does the moon appear to be invisible during the new moon phase of the lunar cycle? (Thank you, bot, for a great question!)
The love I bear thee can afford no better term than this: thou art a villain.

 "Perhaps we think up our own destinies and so, in a sense, deserve whatever happens to us, for not having had the wit to imagine something better." ― Iain Banks
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