There's a rat in me kitchen...

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There's a rat in me kitchen... ...what am I gonna do?...

#1 Hinter

First Sword

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Posted 07 July 2010 - 12:06 AM

Little cute mouse/rat has taken up residence in my kitchen, and also something bigger that managed to pull the bin over last night. I've just heard the big thig snuffle so I reckon it might be a fox... Mouse can live but how do I get rid of rid of mr Fox without calling in the local Hunt?

#2 Illuyankas

Retro Classic

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Will cluck you up

Posted 07 July 2010 - 12:11 AM

Kill
Eat
Use kitchen for both

Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.

#3 Hinter

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Posted 07 July 2010 - 12:43 AM

It was a badger, and f*** me Ihave not been so scared in my life!!!! People do not corner a badger in your kitchen, I thought the little bastard was going to kill me.

#4 bubba

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Kill all the golfers...

Posted 07 July 2010 - 01:08 AM

How the hell did you get a badger in your kitchen?!!!!

#5 hmqb

The Abyssmal Army's Official Cult Expert and Brainwasher

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Posted 07 July 2010 - 01:22 AM

Is it out!? If not buy a gun, and bam! you know what to do.

#6 Hinter

First Sword

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Posted 07 July 2010 - 01:25 AM

Little b******* must have come through the cat flap. I now have a case of beer blocking it off and the little mouse is laughing at me, he's just poked his head around the door wit a "who's house?" look on his face...

#7 RodeoRanch

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Posted 07 July 2010 - 03:10 AM

Badgers are grumpy, scary bastards. I had one chase me across a cemetery once.

#8 Beezulbubba

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Posted 07 July 2010 - 03:43 AM

[url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lj056ao6GE"]http://www.youtube.c...h?v=-lj056ao6GE[/url]

[url="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gx6TBrfCW54&feature=related"]http://www.youtube.c...feature=related[/url]

#9 Aptorian

How 'bout a hug?

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Posted 07 July 2010 - 04:15 AM

If you wrap it in duck tape you could have sex with it... I'll leave the instructions up to Rodeo.

#10 Abyss

abyssus abyssum invocat

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Posted 07 July 2010 - 02:01 PM

Give the mouse a switchblade and offer it cheese for life if it takes out the badger.

Two rodents enter. One rodent leaves.

WELCOME our new rodent Overlords.

Paint the kitchen black. This is vengeance.

I think we're gonna need a bigger kitchen.

She says the kitchen... it just came alive and took him.

Irradiate the badger and let it bite you so you get superpowers. The mouse will inevitably interfere, mutate and become your arch enemy. First one to make sex with Michelle Pfeifer and/or Halle Berry in a Catwoman costume wins. Extra win if it's Pfeifer and/or Berry in the Catwoman costume.

All you people are so scared of the mouse. Most days he'd take that as a compliment. But it ain't the mouse you gotta worry about now.

- Abyss, couldn't come up with a Cloverfield ref but really tried hard.

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#11 Shinrei

charin charin

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Posted 07 July 2010 - 02:06 PM

Oh noes!

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This post has been edited by Shinrei: 07 July 2010 - 02:07 PM

You’ve never heard of the Silanda? … It’s the ship that made the Warren of Telas run in less than 12 parsecs.

#12 Vengeance

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very good...;)

Posted 07 July 2010 - 04:27 PM

Hinter, on 07 July 2010 - 01:25 AM, said:

So you have a cat flap but no cat. May I suggest getting one of these

Posted Image

He would solve both your mouse problem and at least give the badder pause..

How many fucking people do I have to hammer in order to get that across.
Hinter - Vengy - DIE. I trusted you you bastard!!!!!!!
Steven Erikson made drowning in alien cum possible - Obdigore

#13 Vengeance

High Priest of Shinrei Love and Worship

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very good...;)

Posted 07 July 2010 - 04:28 PM

RodeoRanch, on 07 July 2010 - 03:10 AM, said:

Badgers are grumpy, scary bastards. I had one chase me across a cemetery once.

But be truthful you probably deserved it.

How many fucking people do I have to hammer in order to get that across.
Hinter - Vengy - DIE. I trusted you you bastard!!!!!!!
Steven Erikson made drowning in alien cum possible - Obdigore

#14 Abyss

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Posted 07 July 2010 - 04:41 PM

Probably just pissed he didn't buy him dinner first.

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#15 McLovin

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Posted 07 July 2010 - 05:03 PM

One time taking my morning walk a badger-like creature slunk across my path and scared the bejeezus out of me. Didn't think badgers lived in Texas but it had racing stripes on its head, so I dunno.

But in similar animal-angering news, I was mowing the lawn yesterday and chanced to notice a wasp's nest under my eaves. So after finishing mowing, I grab the wasp spray and start spraying the nest. Fail #1 - the wasp spray was nearly empty so instead of getting a forceful stream, I got a gentle mist that failed to knock out the nest. Fail #2 - apparently the nest was a decoy, for as I began spraying a bunch of wasps came from out behind the fence and headed straight for yours truly. I sprayed all around in front of me, creating a poison mist shield, then ran back inside. I thought for sure they had me, but I escaped with nary a sting.

OK, I think I got it, but just in case, can you say the whole thing over again? I wasn't really listening.

#16 Abyss

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Posted 07 July 2010 - 05:05 PM

McLovin, on 07 July 2010 - 05:03 PM, said:

... Fail #2 - apparently the nest was a decoy, for as I began spraying a bunch of wasps came from out behind the fence and headed straight for yours truly. I sprayed all around in front of me, creating a poison mist shield, then ran back inside. I thought for sure they had me, but I escaped with nary a sting.

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#17 Slow Ben

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Posted 07 July 2010 - 05:24 PM

Hinter, on 07 July 2010 - 12:06 AM, said:

They're obviously in cahoots. Dont be fooled for a second!

I've always been crazy but its kept me from going insane.

#18 Obdigore

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Posted 07 July 2010 - 05:40 PM

Get a lobster, duct tape steak knives to its claws, and sick it on the badger.

Then stomp on the mouse.

Then you can stuck the mouse in the lobster in the badger, and create something superior to a turducken!

Monster Hunter World Iceborne: It's like hunting monsters, but on crack, but the monsters are also on crack.

#19 worry

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Posted 07 July 2010 - 06:32 PM

The only way to get a badger out of your house is to let a bear into your house. You get rid of the bear with a rhino, the rhino with a hippo, the hippo with an elephant, and so on till the problem is solved.

They came with white hands and left with red hands.