[Shinrei]

1) How were you introduced to the Malazan series?

One of my all-time favorite authors is Stephen R. Donaldson, who wrote the Gap series and the chronicles of Thomas Covenant. His website has a gradual interview where readers submit questions and he answers them-all of them. I asked him to recommend a great author to me, he told me about the Malazan series. When SE dedicated his last book to Donaldson, Donaldson was unaware of the fact until I wrote and told him, which was kind of cool.


2) What brought you to Malazan Empire forums?

As I started getting into GotM, I began to realize that there was a lot going on that I wasn't clear on, so I googled it. That led me here.

I lurked for a while before joining, and honestly don't remember what motivated me to actually register and start posting. I had never posted anything online before, been on forums, or been a part of an online community. It's worked out well. Aside from some dabbling on reddit, I don’t really do other forums. I like this place.


3) You seem to be something of a chef. What's your favourite dish to cook, and why? (recipes to share?) It would be an overstatement to call me any kind of chef, I just do the cooking for my wife and I because she works a lot of hours and I don't.

My favorite dish? Venison tenderloin wrapped in bacon and marinated in a garlic soy marinade, served with fried rice from scratch and pineapple. Yum. If you really want I'll post the recipe for it. Other than that, anything on the grill. I love red meat, a good ribeye is magic. I’m pretty good on the grill.


4) Do you remember your first post? What was it and who responded?

I don't remember exactly what my first post was. What I do remember is that I didn't know to double space in between paragraphs, so it all posted as a wall of uninterrupted text. Delorous Menhir jumped on my ass and neg repped me for being an annoying noob. At least the noob tag has worn off!


5) Which members do you feel a special connection with?

I assumed I would get this question, and am not sure what to say. I'm not as active as I once was, and don't communicate with any forumites outside of the forums, nor do I do a lot of PMing. So, I haven't built as many one-on-one relationships as other members have.

That being said, I'm a big fan of HD, Bubba, Apt, Rodeo, Zanth, and others. Amphibian is a good guy, Terez fulfills a role in our community that is hard to explain but was missed when she was banned, JuicyTaco gets noob of the year award, and Optimus Prime is the lost member I miss the most. Tehol is like the den mother for the forum. I feel like I'm making an Oscar speech here, I'm sure there are others I am forgetting to mention. I always like to see Stone Monkey's perspective on things. I would like to meet Hetan and give her a hug, just for fun. Illy is always entertaining. Abyss is a staple of the forum. Obdigore has good things to say. Bent, Cause, DW, IH, DM, Wert, the lsit just goes on and on.



6) Why are the Green Bay Packers the greatest football team ever?

Emotional reason: Because my dad told me they were when I first started watching football with him. Factual reason: They are one of the most storied, tradition-laden teams in American sports. They have won more total championships than any other NFL team. They are a small-town, publicly owned team. They were led for years by the toughest (and arguably the best) QB ever. They are part of some of the greatest rivalries in the game. They kind of stand for everything good and pure about football and sports, as opposed to one of the jerk teams like the Cowboys, Pats, or Raiders.


7) Is teaching high school kids every bit as bad as one can imagine it to be?

It can be, but most of the time it's not bad. High schoolers aren't so difficult, middle schoolers are much more of a handful. Some horror stories...

Once I was all over this one kid for most of a period, as he was really screwing around. We got pretty angry at each other. Later that day he was caught with a gun, and admitted to planning on shooting himself and maybe taking some people with him. I often wonder how close he was to drawing down and shooting me. He was in 8th grade.

I've had kids jump out of the window in the middle of class. Twice. I have been gassed to the point of almost passing out due to chemical spills in science class. I've had a disturbed 7th grade girl actively and aggressively pursue a sexual relationship with me, to the point I had to enlist the entire faculty to keep her away from me. Kids have got in my face, and I could see in their eyes the struggle of whether or not to hit me. (They never have, thankfully since we aren’t really supposed to defend ourselves.) One time I was in charge of two gym classes at the same time by myself, me and 90 kids.

One time I had an entire preschool class gather around me, pointing and chanting "ladies purse" at me because they thought my leather shoulder bookbag looked like a purse. They were led by Matt Hasselbeck's (the QB for the Seahawks) daughter.

Really though, most of the time the worst I have to worry about is too much talking, and kids refusing to listen. I’ve got a decent rapport with most of them though, so most of the time that’s not a huge problem.


8) As the official hater of Mafia, how many games of it have you played?

I wouldn't be much of a hater if I played, now would I? My hatred is pure and unsullied by the touch of the vile game. I've never played, never observed it being played, and refuse to entertain the idea of ever playing. It is the hate of the just, the hate that only those who are ignorant about the subject of their hate can muster. Blind, unreasoning loathing. Damn that game.

I have absolutely nothing against the people who play it. It's the game itself that is the bane of my existence.


9) What members would you particularly like to meet in real life?

Besides the ones mentioned above, I think that I would enjoy meeting Cougar and Mezla. Neither are my biggest fan, but I think we would actually get along well if we ever met. I would like to make it to a meetup sometime, but doubt it will ever happen.


10) How big is your nose is real life? And no, that's not a euphemism for the size of the man-tool (although the person who submitted this question offered that you can answer that too if you wish).

I have a very average nose, if anything a bit on the small side. I will not discuss my man-tool without hearing who asked and why. (Abyss?)


11) If you were stranded on a desert island with only one MBotF, which one is it?

An omnibus of Hoc, DG, and MoI. If you won't allow me to weasel out of the question like that, I guess MoI.


12) If you met Steven Erikson and you could only ask one question, what would it be?

SPOILERS!!!!!
How do you feel about the different attitudes people hold towards Karsa and Thomas Covenant, given that both are protagonists who graphically rape people? People are mostly willing to let it slide from Karsa, but those same people will refuse to even continue reading Covenant after the rape scene. (I asked Donaldson this same question when a discussion about the topic came up here on the forums. He responded and I posted his answer here. I would like to hear Erikson’s take on the topic.)


13) Who is you favorite character from the series?

The answer of course is Tehol and Bugg together, I think it's fair to consider the duo a single character, in a way.


14) Have you ever been on a real luxery yacht? (you know, the kind with random models in bikini's and bottles of Dom) Have you ever done any sailing?

I have never been on a luxury yacht. I have been to a rave on a riverboat though, which was a good time. Once I rode a hovercraft to England. My dad has a bass boat.



15) Who wins?

Dr. Luxury Wife, of course.

16) Any pets? Why, why not?

I currenty have one ferret, a psychotic little bitch named Clover I got from the shelter. She was abused before I got her, and so can not be handled without her savaging me.

Before her, I had two other ferrets named Lucy and Oscar who I loved dearly. They are in my profile picture. Both have died, Lucy had stomach cancer and Oscar had Adrenal cancer, lymphoma, pancreatic cancer, and a brain tumor. Creepy bonus fact: I still have them in urns because I don't know what else to do with them.



17) Do you do any creative writing yourself?

Nope, not a bit. Once in sixth or seventh grade I tried to write a book. I got a couple of chapters in and realized it was about an orphan farmboy who realized that he was actually a powerful wizard destined to become king and defeat the evil badguy. Once I saw that I was just spitting out a clichéd crapfest I threw it away. That was the end of my writing career.

I would enjoy writing, I think, and like most avid readers think that I have a good book somewhere in me. My problem is that whenever I try to flesh out an idea, I find myself subconsciously ripping off all of my favorite authors. "Yeah, grizzled marines! That's the ticket! And they're guarding a giant wall made of...ice! And there's a guy, and he's...a leper!" Nonsense. Someday I might make a go of it.



18) When not reading MBotF, what are you typically curling up with?

Fantasy-wise, my top shelf is Donaldson, King (Dark tower only,) Cook, Martin, Some Harry Potter for the lighthearted moments.

Non fantasy, my favorite author is Tom Robbins. Jospeph Heller wrote two of my favorite books ever (Catch-22 and God Knows,) Vonnegut, Hunter S Thompson, James Clavell, Neal Stephenson,


19) Do you keep a personal library, or do the books just cycle through your possession?

I have way too many books. If I loan them out, I rabidly chase them down. You will not get away with forgetting to return my book. I'm trying to make a point of limiting my hoarding to fantasy. I have some hoarding compulsions in general, books are one area I am unsuccessful in fighting the urge.


20) Please bare one random little known fact about yourself for the peanut gallery please.

Have several. I once dated a girl named Bambi. I have nerve damage in my shoulder from breaking my collarbone wrestling. I was once in a frat but hated it so much I became severely depressed and moved out of the house, haven't talked to any of those guys since my second year of college. I was once an avid raver, immediately after quitting the frat and look back at the 3 years I was going to raves as one of the best times of my life for a variety of reasons.

I am annoyed by anyone too committed to either side of the political spectrum even when I agree with them, leading my lefty friends to think I am conservative and my conservative friends to think I am a communist. I hate the entire state of Ohio. On my 13th birthday my grandfather, a crusty WWII vet who reminds me of a toned down Clint Eastwood from that crusty vet movie named after the car, called me and asked if I had any hair on my pecker, and was surprised when I got embarrassed.

I have learned and completely forgotten two languages, and once almost majored in Russian and moved to Moscow just for the hell of it. My shoulder will dislocate if I look at it wrong. As a child on more than one occasion I was given a squirrel tail tied to a string for a toy and loved it. I have an odd compulsion to touch soft or smooth things with my face.

I don't have a lot of friends, but know of at least five people who consider me their best friend, which I think is better anyways. I am annoyed by hyphenated last names. I am addicted to energy drinks, namely blue Monster with an occasional RedBull to mix things up. I quit smoking cigarettes last July, gained 40 pounds, have lost 20 of it, still not smoking. I have been shot at twice, by a friend who wasn't really trying to hit me, but was just pissed and trying to prove a point. I have problems with moderation, it's all or nothing with most things.

Because of a very small family with good genes (All of my grandparents are still alive), I am completely unprepared to deal with the death of anyone close to me, because I've never had to before. Two of my grandparents are in poor health now, and it scares me horribly. I know a man who fought Chuck Norris in a karate tournament and won. I am an ex army brat, during the first gulf war (the good one) my father was stationed in Saudi and my mom got depressed and quit making me go to church.

I could keep going but I think that’s more than enough.

[Jusentantaka]

Woohoo! Noob of the year!



And you were just about the last person on here I'd think was shot at.

[HoosierDaddy]

What point is increased by bad shooting other than that a person is a bad shot?

Also, good interview!

Oh, so my rabid communism annoys you, eh? Why don't we sit around a campfire and sing koombaya. I'm sure that'll lessen the tension.

This post has been edited by H.D.: 09 May 2010 - 02:43 AM

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

H.D., on 09 May 2010 - 02:42 AM, said:

What point is increased by bad shooting other than that a person is a bad shot?

Also, good interview!

Oh, so my rabid communism annoys you, eh? Why don't we sit around a campfire and sing koombaya. I'm sure that'll lessen the tension.

THe point he was trying to make was that he was pissed. I got the point almost immediately. No, your communism doesn't bother me, I'm at least as liberal as you. My point {poorly worded} is that I just don't like talking politics with anyone, I can't help but play devil's advocate when people get too sure of their opinions. That comment wasn't aimed at any particular person.

[Shinrei]

That was a great interview. Long in details and interesting tidbits. If only everyone would bare a dozen facts for question 20.


And your description of high school teaching makes me glad I got out of that game early. If I hadn't done the Japan thing, I'd be in a high school (or heaven forbid, middle school) myself right now.

[bubba]

I would like to delve deeper into the whole "Ohio" statement.....not that I don't agree with you.


...and I have not smoked in two months.........I just didn't want to give you the satisfaction(I hate self-righteous anything).

[HoosierDaddy]

Because:

It's like Indiana, except without cool people.
You can't go anywhere without hearing "OH!" "IO!"
You can't have the three biggest cities all starting with C. That's just ridiculous.
Cleveland.
Cincinnati.
Dayton.
The Buckeyes.
They ruined Sloopy.
Dotting the I.

The only thing they have going for them is they aren't from Kentucky.

Brought to you by your friendly Hoosier, who lived in Dayton, OH for 3 formative years.

[amphibian]

Cleveland has LeBron though - its one saving grace. I've driven through the city a few times and actually thought "Man... I'd never live here."

I read somewhere that when Chuck Norris started training BJJ, he just showed up wearing a black belt. And stuck with it a while - despite the butt-whuppings doing something like that invites. I'm not sure if he's a legit black belt, but he's trained in it a couple years at least.

EDIT: Damn, looks like he's a legit black belt under the Machados. Wooooow. My mind is blown.

This post has been edited by amphibian: 09 May 2010 - 05:20 AM

[teholbeddict]

Aww, you always have such nice things to say about me RLY my dear. I really do appreciate it! Den mother of the forum, I like it. I do try to be as nice to be as friendly to everyone as possible and include everyone whenever I can. Enough about me though, on to your interview!

I really enjoyed it, I have to say it's one of the most honest and open interviews given thus far. I feel like we got a real glimpse of who RLY is away from the board, as well as a good feel for your personality. You had some really vulnerable stuff listed in there and I admire you for being brave enough to add those things to your answers. I loved the little known fact answer, really well done. Also have to say thank god I decided to go into medicine instead of becoming a teacher as I'd originally intended. Dealing with patients in a day to day basis is bad enough, but I don't think I'd be able to handle half of what you listed in your experience with teaching. I admire you for doing it, and I know substituting isn't easy. Kids always seem to have it out for subs. Hopefully at some point you'll get a full time teaching position. I think you really deserver it as you have a gift for working with kids. I always have my fingers crossed for you whenever you let us know you're going in for an interview. Again fantastic interview, really well done!

[Obdigore]

Nice Interview.

Agreed on the Ohio thing.

[Adjutant Stormy~]

I would just like to note the spelling mistake in the thread title.

But aside from that, RLY, I have to thank you for getting me on the quitting smoking bandwagon. You're a lifesaver.

[Satan]

Shinrei, on 09 May 2010 - 02:21 AM, said:

I've had a disturbed 7th grade girl actively and aggressively pursue a sexual relationship with me, to the point I had to enlist the entire faculty to keep her away from me.

She was that ugly? Poor girl...

[D'rek]

Brynjar, on 10 May 2010 - 05:39 PM, said:

Shinrei, on 09 May 2010 - 02:21 AM, said:

I've had a disturbed 7th grade girl actively and aggressively pursue a sexual relationship with me, to the point I had to enlist the entire faculty to keep her away from me.

She was that ugly? Poor girl...

She had a fetish for big noses, clearly.

[KalamMekhar]

Shinrei, on 09 May 2010 - 02:21 AM, said:

I know a man who fought Chuck Norris in a karate tournament and won.

=win!

very good interview RLY, the random facts at the end was very good, except you gave away a few more than just one, are you like the chip commercial, i think it was lays, cant just have one? lol

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

I'm glad you guys enjoyed it. I filled it out very late at night and wasn't sure how it turned out.

[RodeoRanch]

I fixed the title. Free of charge. I'm just that kinda guy.


Good interview. I laughed. I cried. I laughed again.

[Illuyankas]

It's very accurate, I am always entertaining.

[Zanth13]

o-RlY is the shizzle

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

You like me, you really like me!!!!

[teholbeddict]

Yep! We really like you! We're cool like that