[Gothos]

You, no, but we sure beat the germans. Czechs mayyyybe, some local, hard to find brews can do that.

[Shinrei]

Polish beer better than German?

[Gothos]

'course it is. I never really got it why the fuss over german beer, it's decent, but not stellar. Still way better than anything made beyond the Ardennes-Alpes line anyway.

[Sindriss]

Verjigorm, on 04 April 2010 - 02:54 AM, said:

Hm, let's try it:

1. Bavaria is just 1 of 16 federal states of Germany.

2. Most of the Germans don't wear leather clothes or funny heads and haven't build a cuckoo's clock in their whole life.

3. Football is important, everywhere, everytime for almost everyone.

4. If you're in a village and see more political party candidates than inhabitants, you're probably in Italy.

5. If you want people in Paris to talk to you in English, admit that you're from Germany. As soon as they realize you're not British almost everyone is able to speak english...strange, but true.

6. If you ever work in a foreign european country, get unemployed and move back into your european homecountry, you have to apply for unemployment money in your prior work country with form E303, not in your homecountry with form E301, unless you worked in your homecountry aswell within the last 2 years. True story, important lesson here...

7. Germany, Austria, the Czech Republic, England, Ireland, Belgium and Holland are your Go to countries for beer.

8. France, Italy, Portugal and Spain are your Go to countries for wine.

9. Scotland, Finland, Poland and Greece are your Go to countries for shots.

10. And if you're feeling you're probably overcharged for a drink, you might be in Sweden, Norway or Paris.

11. Apt has to decide, if Demark is considered under 7, 8, 9 or 10.

Definetely number 10. But of course it depends on where you live in the country. Copenhagen and to some degree Aarhus are ridiculously overpriced.

Also, danish girls are #1 !

[Cougar]

I see as much ignorance in this thread as there is in the other, but if we are being serious I'd say:
1. Stay away from the British when we've been binge drinking - we're unpleasant and violent.

2. If you are American and can get away with it, pretend to be Canadian.

3. Whilst the British and French may tolerate Americans (somewhat inaccurately) pronouncing that they saved our asses in WW2 (really, my donkey was fine) the Eastern Europeans will laugh in your face. The Russians turned the Nazi advance at Stalingrad at a human cost you could scarcely understand.

4. Customer service in many parts of Europe is way below the standards North Americans are used to. It's just how we roll.

5. Find out about local tipping protocol, many of us have minimum wages and tips are not the same as the US. Several of the Northern Euro countries don't tip at all. I've seen many US people get terribly confused as they try to tip when it's insulting to do so.

6. When in the UK making smart arsed comments about different words (boot vs trunk) makes you look like a crass, obnoxious prick.

7. See 4.too, several countries may same very impolite. The British are merciless piss-takers, the French have an ethic of equality even in service industries which means if you don't treat them as an equal, they'll fuck you up. The Germans can seem harsh and humourless, the Scandies seem condescending and dry.

Since Powder asked sensibly, I've tried to be honest about stuff here.

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

Cougar, on 05 April 2010 - 03:26 PM, said:

making smart arsed comments about different words (boot vs trunk) makes you look like a crass, obnoxious prick.

To be fair, this is true of anyone, regardless of where they are from and which side of the debate they are on.

[Morgoth]

We don't "seem" anything. We are.

[LankyPirate]

At this point I think I should post a few little notes on good ol' Ireland for our American cousins.

1. As you know, here in the Emerald Isle we love to see our wealthy Colonial brothers visiting. (especially now that we have burdened ourselves with a ridiculous bank saving plan!!)

2. Even though we are very proud of being Europeans, we're still not sure what that entails. Imagine a sixteenth century farmer being transported to an Amsterdam rave and told to dance! Everyone looks happy and is smilling at us, but we haven't got a clue what to do! And it's obvious!!!!

3. Contrary to popular belief, we don't hate the British. We don't even hate the English. (well, maybe the drunk ones. But hey, that's pretty much universal.) That said, the positioning of our two countries does make our dislocation with mainland Europe pretty physical. Hence the reason we like Americans so much.

4. Considering the last sentence of point 3, I must point out one thing. Our fondness of Americans is dependant on them not bringing up their 'Irish heritage' every two seconds. Your American, be proud of it!

5. We love to drink! Pretty obvious I know, but, unlike one list has already pointed out, we drink a lot more than beer. We drink copious amounts of stout and whiskey. We only drink beer because we're almost immune to it. Therefore, it's a useful socialising engine for us.

6. If you are coming to Ireland, bring a good rain coat. Even in the middle of summer. One of the reasons Europe get such good weather in the summer is because we soak it all up before it gets there.

7. One very important point! Irish people are much friendlier outside of Ireland. I don't know if it's something in the air here but we are.

8. If you want to befriend an Irishman, don't BUY him a drink, just get DRUNK with him. It's akin to serving in battle beside him. Especially if you drink stout and whiskey all night!

9. Don't mention fairies, leprechauns, Blarney or priests. Anything else is pretty much fair game for conversation.

10. Try and get to at least one game of hurling while your here. If you think ice-hockey is fast and dangerous, you ain't seen nothing like. Also, after you have witnessed a game, just remember that just about every man at some stage of his life has played the game. A lot of our women have as well!!

Now, I hope this will be a help to any of our visiting Yanks. Looking forward to getting drunk with ye!!

[Cougar]

I'd endorse point 4 and broaden it. Nobody cares that you think you are Scottish, there is no such thing as 'Armenian American' etc, moreover the fact that you pick and choose which bits of your heritage you remember just makes you seem daft. Being an American is just fine.RLY agreed, but as they say, when in Rome.

[Macros]

I'm eager to meet an English American, I'm sure there has to be one somewhere.

ETA - Lankys Irish ones are pretty spot on excepting point 10, I know two people that have played Hurling.
And I know a lot of people.

This post has been edited by Macros: 05 April 2010 - 07:20 PM

[Thelomen Toblerone]

Gothos, on 03 April 2010 - 04:31 PM, said:

yeah, and Elizabeth I was welsh

I'm curious about this one Gothy. Born in Greenwich, English parents...is it the lone welsh grandparent behind this claim?

Anyways, some for our sceptered isles:

1) England is not Britain. It's in it but not the whole thing.

2) Scotland is not a part of England. Do not make this mistake in front of a pissed jock. Or call him a pissed jock. Refer to it as "Britain", just to be safe, Unless you know you do mean England, or are referring to Northern I reland, in which case....

3) Great Britain is not the United Kingdom. It's just a part (the mainland part). The UK is Great Britain AND Northern Ireland, but people will use both interchangeably as no-one really gives a toss. But at least you'll be informed now!

4) We are part of Europe, really, but many will not want to admit to it. These people will be clutching a newspaper with the words "Daily Mail" or "The Sun" written in prominent letters, and either be builders, taxi drivers, or middle class and grumpy. Feel free to mention Europe, and when they try and correct you, point out that the UK is in fact part of the EU, and in the continent of Europe, and ask them to explain how your assessment was therefore wrong. This won't win you friends, but dammit you'll be doing us a service in terms of education.

5) If you want "potato chips", for the LOVE OF GOD don't ask for them like that. You WILL be given french fries. Ask for "crisps" if you want "chips", and "chips" if you want "french fries." If you ask for "French fries", you will get a specific type of fry, thinner than a standard "chip." I trust that's clear.

6) If your beer is dark in colour and has a silly name, don't complain if it's warm. This is how real beer is supposed to be, and you will be instantly labelled a cretin by all bearded men in the vicinity.

7) Please, there really is no need to talk so loudly. We do speak (roughly) the same language, after all. This may not apply to you, but I have lost count of the hordes of American tourists who I've heard conversing at a distance of no less than 7160 yards. It really isn't necessary.

8) Unlike our continental cousins, we do also continue to use imperial measurements (pints, miles, etc). However, unlike you, we also use metric measurements. Both are used interchangeably in different situations, and very very often, people will be unsure of how to convert one to the other, and mix them up. Also, the imperial measurements we use are different to yours. Our pints are bigger, and noone has a clue what a hogshead is. Any Brit who corrects me now will have just googled it trying to look like a smart-arse, ignore them.

9) Yes, tax is already factored in to everything you buy. No, you don't add any sales tax. Yes, really. Yes, I know it's expensive. Yes, I know the portions are small. If it makes you feel any better, we're aware we're being ripped off too.

10) If in London and on the tube, do not make eye contact with or try to talk to anyone. I cannot stress this enough. Londoners turn into rude®, (more) obnoxious bastards on the tube, and will go to enormously hilarious pains to pretend they are in fact sitting in their own little hermetically sealed box and no-one is within 500 yards of them. The exception to this is when problems occur (an announcement that you will be stuck in a tunnel in 40 degree heat for the next 2 hours, say). On these occasions, correct procedure is to make a "tsk" noise, tut occasionally, and perhaps exchange a brief "what a joke, I can't believe this" piece with the person next to you. They will then likely try to outdo you, explaining how this is nothing compared to a Tuesday morning in May 1978 on the Circle line, when they were stuck so long they had to eat a travelling German businessman's hat just to stay warm. However - and this is VITAL - no matter how well you think you ar egetting along, no matter what intimacies shared, the SECOND the train starts moving again, you will both settle down and pretend as if the entire thing never happened, and get off at the appropriate stop without acknowledging eachother's prescence.

[RodeoRanch]

Being a Canadian in Great Britain was brilliant. People would buy me beer when they saw my flag patch on my coat. Pretty much everyone was friendly as soon as they learned I wasn't a Yank.

I can understand Americans pretending to be Canadian and even encountered a couple from Chicago who were in Bath pretending to be Canucks. They fessed up once I started quizzing them about Canada. I just don't like the thought of assholes from America giving Canada a bad name. We have our own assholes for that. We don't need extra help.

[Thelomen Toblerone]

RodeoRanch, on 05 April 2010 - 11:16 PM, said:

I just don't like the thought of assholes from America giving Canada a bad name. We have our own assholes for that.

Ah, yes. QUEBECOIS.

*shakes fist*

[Gothos]

Thelomen Toblerone, on 05 April 2010 - 10:09 PM, said:

Gothos, on 03 April 2010 - 04:31 PM, said:

yeah, and Elizabeth I was welsh

I'm curious about this one Gothy. Born in Greenwich, English parents...is it the lone welsh grandparent behind this claim?

The Tudors were a welsh family in origin. I was just countering the point of Napoleon being born outside of ethnical France: his exploits still make him a french powerhouse, just as Elizabeth I is the cornerstone of past british might.

[Powder]

This has been fantastic and down right funny at times. I assume a 'tube' is a subway? I think I am going to have to post on the other thread tomorrow about how to handle NYC well.

[Gothos]

Tube in the UK/London, variations of Metro in France, Poland, maybe Spain and some other countries, U-Bahn in Germany and Austria... :>

[Shinrei]

Interesting. My experience on the tube was random people kept talking to me. Maybe they weren't from London, but I kept finding myself in random conversations (that I didn't start).

[Terez]

When I was there, we just called it the underground, but we didn't really stay long enough to pick up local nicknames. In Vienna it was U-Bahn, but I think it was just 'subway' in Amsterdam, and the subway was really secondary to the bus system there anyway.

[Gothos]

Reasonable assumption. Pretty much the whole of Holland is really wet ground, probably. The network there can't be extensive, it's harder to dig in mud than granite for that kind of thing.

[Terez]

Yeah, I gather they're working on expanding it, but it costs a ridiculous amount of money for construction. I live in a similar area, swampy Gulf of Mexico coastal region, and we don't have subways. The idea of a subway system in New Orleans is hilarious.