[RodeoRanch]

I'd drink myself to death in one glorious binge drinking session. Go out happy before they eat me.

[Aptorian]

You will be the drunkest zombie of them all.

[Aptorian]

Apropos zombies.

Here a trailer for a new horror/sci-fi film called Crazies.

http://www.youtube.c...feature=channel

Basically everyone is going insane ... and then they turn into fast zombies. I think the film would have been more interesting if they'd kept away from the physical transformation and kept with the idea of every day citizens with an altered mental state.

[Mezla PigDog]

As a professional scientist, I hope to be the first of the infected due to a freak accident in my lab. Or die during the initial outbreak so I don't know what I did but my name is cursed for all eternity.

[knight of shadows]

I gather all of my guns hop in my family's suv (preferable with my family) go pick up my friend Will who also has numerous guns and start driving east towards Maine. I would stop at this country store that's in less populated area than most super markets and also carries things other than food such as seeds for gardens, fishing supplies, large supply of the gallon water jugs,and even ammunition for guns for these reasons I would gather supplies there. From this point I would continue my drive east staying away from highly populated (so I wouldn't use the high way). When I reach Maine I would head for the coast looking for a small fishing town where I could steal myself a ship preferable one made for fishing. At this point it would depend on weather or not the zombies decompose or not to what my next course of action would be if they did decompose I would sit on the boat and wait. Hopefully between the food I grabbed and fish I will be able to catch I would not have to make any runs to shore to resupply. If the zombies did not decompose I would at this point head north past Newfoundland and up to Labrador where I would then set up gardens in remote area of the shore but remaining living on the boat.

[Aptorian]

I've seen quite a few posts from people saying they'd want their loved ones with them, family, friends, etc.

Honestly, in a Zombie scenario I don't think I'd have time to be the nice guy. If you're less than fit, old, weak, too young you'd be left behind. I don't have time to worry about a crying kid or an old person with a bad heart when there's zombies on my heels. This is the classic mistake they always make in the films, the pregnant wife, the snivelling kid, guy with part of face bitten off, etc. that the rest of the group waste ressources and time on dragging along eventually succumbing because they were too slow or the infected guy eats the others.

I think I'd shoot anyone who got in my way or was a hindrance. Emotional connections are a drawback.

In the Zombie Apocalypse it is every man for himself.

Hail to the King, Baby!

[Illuyankas]

So it's decided, then. In the event of every Malazan forum member being teleported to an isolated island after a zombie apocalypse, we shoot Apt first.

[Tiste Simeon]

Aptorian, on 14 March 2010 - 11:49 AM, said:

It depends on a number of things.

Are these undead, decomposing zombies? Or are they the mutant zombie kind that are still alive? Are they fast or slow?

How great are their perception? Good or bad hearing, smell, sight? Do they have that silly uncanny hollywood ability to always find the survivors?

Am I alone, in a small group or are there organized groups of survivors?

Assuming I had fair warning and time, when news articles started hitting the stands and footage of walking dead appeared on the internet, I would start out with emptying my kitchen and tool box into a couple of bags, steal a car and head out into the country side along with a radio and some cans of gas. After the first week of idiots being consumed in the cities, I'd towards a smaller city.

Now the next part is assuming that I'm not fighting the mutant, super strong, super fast, nearly omnipotent type of zombie.

I know Slagelse, a city some 90 miles from Copenhagen has a military facility, a policestation and a huge Walmart type place at the edge of town. Assuming that everyone has been overrun, I'd start out by sneaking into the police station or military facility.

If I was fighting fast zombies I'd don any kind of protective armor possible. Fast zombies can not be outrun and it is going to get physical in the end, I'd want layers of strong material protecting my soft bits. If it was slow zombies I'd go lighter but still pick out some head gear and vests. Then I'd try to fill a truck with various equipment, automatic weapons and shotguns. Screw pistols if the zombies are coming close enough that you need a pistols, you might as well be getting your melee weapons ready. Lots of ammunition, like hundreds of kilos worth. Pick out other stuff like lights, smoke canisters, night sight, grenades, radios, etc.

Next stop is supermarket. I'd fill the truck with a ton of canned food - fruits, meats, vegetables. Lots of drinking water as well. basically I'd raid the store for anything essential for my comfort the next couple of months.

Then I'd head for the sea. There's a bunch of harbor towns some 10-20 miles from Slagelse. There I'd pick the biggest boat possible. Preferably a sail boat with a big motor on it, I'd fill it with provisions and head out to sea. I'd stay a good mile off the coast and just wait. If the zombies didn't decompose or die off after a while I'd make raids into the country side for provisions and if I was desperate the cities.

Now the above is based on the idea that I am alone.

If we were a whole team I'd vote for doing the above, only stealing a whole ferry or cruise liner if we were so lucky.

Apt, has been waiting a long time to share this knowledge...

[RodeoRanch]

Then I drink myself to death? Roger.

[HoosierDaddy]

Tiste Simeon, on 14 March 2010 - 08:17 PM, said:

Aptorian, on 14 March 2010 - 11:49 AM, said:

It depends on a number of things.

Are these undead, decomposing zombies? Or are they the mutant zombie kind that are still alive? Are they fast or slow?

How great are their perception? Good or bad hearing, smell, sight? Do they have that silly uncanny hollywood ability to always find the survivors?

Am I alone, in a small group or are there organized groups of survivors?

Assuming I had fair warning and time, when news articles started hitting the stands and footage of walking dead appeared on the internet, I would start out with emptying my kitchen and tool box into a couple of bags, steal a car and head out into the country side along with a radio and some cans of gas. After the first week of idiots being consumed in the cities, I'd towards a smaller city.

Now the next part is assuming that I'm not fighting the mutant, super strong, super fast, nearly omnipotent type of zombie.

I know Slagelse, a city some 90 miles from Copenhagen has a military facility, a policestation and a huge Walmart type place at the edge of town. Assuming that everyone has been overrun, I'd start out by sneaking into the police station or military facility.

If I was fighting fast zombies I'd don any kind of protective armor possible. Fast zombies can not be outrun and it is going to get physical in the end, I'd want layers of strong material protecting my soft bits. If it was slow zombies I'd go lighter but still pick out some head gear and vests. Then I'd try to fill a truck with various equipment, automatic weapons and shotguns. Screw pistols if the zombies are coming close enough that you need a pistols, you might as well be getting your melee weapons ready. Lots of ammunition, like hundreds of kilos worth. Pick out other stuff like lights, smoke canisters, night sight, grenades, radios, etc.

Next stop is supermarket. I'd fill the truck with a ton of canned food - fruits, meats, vegetables. Lots of drinking water as well. basically I'd raid the store for anything essential for my comfort the next couple of months.

Then I'd head for the sea. There's a bunch of harbor towns some 10-20 miles from Slagelse. There I'd pick the biggest boat possible. Preferably a sail boat with a big motor on it, I'd fill it with provisions and head out to sea. I'd stay a good mile off the coast and just wait. If the zombies didn't decompose or die off after a while I'd make raids into the country side for provisions and if I was desperate the cities.

Now the above is based on the idea that I am alone.

If we were a whole team I'd vote for doing the above, only stealing a whole ferry or cruise liner if we were so lucky.

Apt, has been waiting a long time to share this knowledge...

Iirc, Apt is a big time Reddit reader, and not too long ago they had a MASSIVE discussion on this topic. Entertaining reading, really. The only downside is that this type of preparation is like reading the "What to do in the event of a water-landing" pamphlet on a plane. Guess what? You're going to die no matter how many times you read that pamphlet.

[Adjutant Stormy~]

I have the step-by-step plan already formulated and disseminated amongst my friends. Plan is to be activated at first suspicion, and not first report.

1) Group A: Get to the REI store (Recreation Equipment Inc.) and steal/purchase (we're not animals) the water purifiers and other equipment we're lacking.
Group B: Get to the Department of Energy land in the Berkeley foothills with as much food, water, and ammunition we can manage. Getting out of town is nearly impossible, but the DOE land is well fenced, well guarded, and the buildings are concrete and steel-doored. Pretty much bombproof. It also has its own creek for water, so long as you're ok with low levels of radioisotopes.

2) Group A: Two blocks from the REI - gunstore.
Group B: Commandeer DOE bus (government tags = roadblock proof), pick up group A

3) Wait it out, until we've run low on supplies. Use the DOE backup power generators for communications, see if there's an organized resistance, relief etc. You really have to wing it from there.

ALSO: I saw Crazies last night. Surprisingly decent movie. Very genre savvy protagonist (at times, when he's not being overprotective of his wife).

This post has been edited by Adjutant Stormy: 14 March 2010 - 08:39 PM

[Aptorian]

H.D., on 14 March 2010 - 08:24 PM, said:

Iirc, Apt is a big time Reddit reader, and not too long ago they had a MASSIVE discussion on this topic. Entertaining reading, really. The only downside is that this type of preparation is like reading the "What to do in the event of a water-landing" pamphlet on a plane. Guess what? You're going to die no matter how many times you read that pamphlet.

I have not seen any threads like that but I am going to go looking right away.

I don't really agree on the "you're fucked no matter what" idea. If you wake up in the middle of a capital size city with +1,000,000 people in it, when the shit has already hit the proverbial fan, then yeah, you're probably going to die if the infection rate is high and every single person turns.

But if you're not in a giant city, and the zombies aren't necessarily super mutants, then you're going to be fine if you reach open ground, have transportation and provisions. The world is a big place. You've got all the sea to keep you safe (unless the bastards remember how to swim/get so gassy they float) and even with millions of zombies even a small country like Denmark is a big place. As long as you keep moving and you are armed you're going to be okay, until you either run out of provisions or you tire and succumb to exhaustion, sickness or you lose your mind.

To be honest, I'd be more afraid of other survivors than zombies if I survive the first week. The Zombies are only going to get weaker as the months pass, but the survivors are going to get fucking nuts. I'd shoot anyone that looked at me funny (or had something I needed)-

EDIT:

Illuyankas, on 14 March 2010 - 08:09 PM, said:

So it's decided, then. In the event of every Malazan forum member being teleported to an isolated island after a zombie apocalypse, we shoot Apt first.

You with the bright, colorful zombie attracting hawaii shirt will be the first to go, chicken lover.

This post has been edited by Aptorian: 14 March 2010 - 09:03 PM

[HoosierDaddy]

Aptorian, on 14 March 2010 - 09:00 PM, said:

H.D., on 14 March 2010 - 08:24 PM, said:

Iirc, Apt is a big time Reddit reader, and not too long ago they had a MASSIVE discussion on this topic. Entertaining reading, really. The only downside is that this type of preparation is like reading the "What to do in the event of a water-landing" pamphlet on a plane. Guess what? You're going to die no matter how many times you read that pamphlet.

I have not seen any threads like that but I am going to go looking right away.

I don't really agree on the "you're fucked no matter what" idea. If you wake up in the middle of a capital size city with +1,000,000 people in it, when the shit has already hit the proverbial fan, then yeah, you're probably going to die if the infection rate is high and every single person turns.

But if you're not in a giant city, and the zombies aren't necessarily super mutants, then you're going to be fine if you reach open ground, have transportation and provisions. The world is a big place. You've got all the sea to keep you safe (unless the bastards remember how to swim/get so gassy they float) and even with millions of zombies even a small country like Denmark is a big place. As long as you keep moving and you are armed you're going to be okay, until you either run out of provisions or you tire and succumb to exhaustion, sickness or you lose your mind.

To be honest, I'd be more afraid of other survivors than zombies if I survive the first week. The Zombies are only going to get weaker as the months pass, but the survivors are going to get fucking nuts. I'd shoot anyone that looked at me funny (or had something I needed)-

EDIT:

Illuyankas, on 14 March 2010 - 08:09 PM, said:

So it's decided, then. In the event of every Malazan forum member being teleported to an isolated island after a zombie apocalypse, we shoot Apt first.

You with the bright, colorful zombie attracting hawaii shirt will be the first to go, chicken lover.

It might have been Diggit, Apt. I got linked to it from another site.

Also, I live in the middle of BFE as well. Imagine Children of the Corn with f**king zombies after you. I'd try to shut up in my house, but going out on the lake (during Spring, Summer, and Autumn) might make for decent odds. Plenty of loaded people around here are sure to have arsenals to protect their wealth from the massed poor. However, odds are it'd come when I was passed out and I'd effectively go to sleep and get zombied without waking up.

[Adjutant Stormy~]

That's why you've got to have buddies to watch out for you while you sleep.

[HoosierDaddy]

My sense of trust would only go so far if everyone in the world was turning into a brain craving monster. You just KNOW somebody's going to get bitten and not fess up. People are assholes like that, zombie apocalypse or not.

This post has been edited by H.D.: 14 March 2010 - 09:33 PM

[Adjutant Stormy~]

Well, for camp-outs with large groups of people, you would need to have a bite-check protocol. Nightly strip-downs or something of the sort.

[Aptorian]

Reddit doesn't disappoint

http://www.reddit.co..._lie_so/c0iilmu

Quote

Now, what I'm going to do is detail what I'd do and how I'd go about doing it, explaining why I think I need what I need and why I'm going where I'm going. Please feel free to discuss or ask questions at the end of the note. Now, I'm not going to go into too much detail in regards to my ACTUAL route or the businesses I intend on looting, nor will I divulge who I would and wouldn't take. Rest assured though, should we cross paths, I'll probably just blow your zombie brains out. Actually, come to think of it, I might even blow your normal brains out too, per apocalypse protocol.

Preface: I'm going to be talking about the classic zombie apocalypse, not the running zombies or the Left 4 Dead bullshit. Moseying, undead zombies that function so long as their brain stem is attached to some part of their spinal cord. If limbs fall off, they don't work, if you sever the spine, everything below is dead, zombies don't heal, have gnarly blood, mucous is the only vector of transmission, and they're very, very hungry for braaaaains. Most people are somehow infected, the power grid may or may not be up, the military may or may not function, and it spread enough worldwide so that Russia didn't just nuke the fucking bejesus out of us to take care of shit.

=================== First, the end-all-be-all truths:

• Always have ammunition
• Always have a gun, preferably two or three
• Shoot first, aim for the head
• Always have ammunition
• Carry enough food and water for a week on foot
• Have a sword or machete handy
• People are just as dangerous as zombies and should probably be eliminated with extreme prejudice
• Never stop moving until you reach the Tundra
• Protect your body with Kevlar at all times
• Wear light, comfortable, waterproof, somewhat insulated boots at all times
• Have quick access to your weapons at all times
• Wear a helmet on your motorcycle
• Find a motorcycle or dirt bike, next comes an ATV, followed by an off-road vehicle
• Get hopped up on amphetamines until you reach the Tundra. Again, have a lot of water handy. If the zombies don't freeze, they're coming, and sleep makes you dead.
• Trust nobody. You forgot about number 8
• Don't be a dumbass (this is a separate list)
• Don't look for survivors (this is on the dumbass list)
• Always have somewhere to run
• HAVE FUN!!! ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE AAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!1!!one!!!11!

and the most important rule:


If they're gonna eat you, they're gonna be hungry, and they'll tear you into pieces. I would press my gun up against where my neck meets my jaw. That SHOULD be the quickest. Temple might just make you go blind, underneath your chin might just blow off your face, and in your mouth might either miss or just paralyze you. If you're gonna blow your brains out, blow them out the back of your head, and get as much as you can.
-----------------

The Dumbass List Of Ways To Get Eaten By Zombies LIke A Dummy Dumbass:

• Travel in a large group
• Travel with children
• Sleep
• Hunker down and fortify somewhere
• Find/Hope for/Rely on help
• Stop moving
• Relax
• Stay out in the open
• Make a lot of noise
• Drive anything large, noisy, rare, cumbersome, or anything you don't know how to fix
• Eat meat or anything anybody could have touched or slobbered on
  - Head towards a warmer climate, the ocean, an island, or anywhere but North. North, North, Northy North North North.

Why North?

Frozen zombies most of the year. Abundant sunshine the other part of the year. Wilderness, zero population density, abundant natural food sources, and the scenic view.


Zombies freezing in winter makes travel completely safe, and means they'll eventually all freeze in place for a good chunk of the year. Snow would slow them way the hell down and even if they thawed, they should be dead. You're like 80% water, water expands when it freezes, that should damage nerve and brain tissue enough to fuck up action potentials. I honestly don't think zombies could survive more than 3 winters of freezing and thawing.
How?

Motorcycle. It's the lightest, fastest, most manuverable transportation you can get. Not a Harley, either (fag), I'm talking one of two things: crotch rocket, or dirt bike. The crotch rocket, driven at highway speeds, should get between 30 and 40, up to 60mpg depending on what you have. The dirt bike, however, can go offroad. The crotch rocket has tires that will handle the trip better, and has a windshield, but has a pretty shitty riding position and can go TOO fast if you're not careful. A dirt bike is easier to maintain, lighter, and even more manuverable, but it's also a lot slower, has no wind protection, and very, very shitty range. I'd personally go with a literbike just because they're abundant and have bigger gearing, but I could also deal with having something like my FJ1200. 2.8 0-60, 5.5 0-100, but it still got 50mpg if I drove it like not a hooligan. You need a fairing for when you get to where it's cold, at least until it's thinned out enough and snowy enough to necessitate finding something with off-road capability up North (which almost everything is). I know Harley and Vmaxes and shit get good mileage, but they're fucking loud. Really, really fucking loud. And they don't go 200mph. Zombies don't go that fast, but what if you're ambushed by....a biker gang? Just sayin. A shaft drive might be awesome, but I don't know how those hold up in the cold and have no idea how they work. Belt drives...are on bikes made for needle dicks.


Oh, and the sweetest part about a motorcycle? The compartment under/behind the seat. You can stick your multitool and tire repair kit in there, plus it'll have your manual and motorcycle tool kit in there. You could also throw in a spare torch and a few clips of ammo. You never know dude.
Clothing

The first thing I'd find is a kevlar and leather motorcycle suit. Hell to the yes. They've got padded inserts, usually with carbon fiber plating on the skid parts, they're as puncture proof as anything you're gonna get, relatively light, and will be a great second thermal layer up North.

Shit, I should mention that if you start in the winter, and we're starting from Iowa, this is kind of a bad deal. You'll actually just wanna go ahead and get a pickup, but damn it, the range on those sucks and the tank would take a LOT of siphoning unless you happened to find a gas pump that doesn't use electricity, and there's a fat fuckin' chance of that, unless you come by a farm and can use your battery, but farmers would probably be the last to go. Open land, lots of guns, lots of supplies, abundant food, intimate knowledge of the land...stay the fuck away from farmers. They're gonna be shootin'

Now, you'll want to wear something comfy underneath, I'm a fan of freeballin' it and then doing some basketball shorts and tee shirts. You'll wanna pack a set of thermal undies, but not sweats (too fluffy), a change of tee shirts and shorts, and eventually come by some snowboard pants and jacket. You'll also wanna get a motorcycle helmet and balaclava for when it gets cold. One with a skull, like Ghost in CODMW2. Why? Because that's fucking awesome.

Like I said, you'll also want boots. I've got slip-on doc marten steel toed shitkickers that I love to death. I'd pack solely thermal socks, and just layer when it got colder. Gloves would be a motorcycle pair, and snowboard mittens. I also have a Shoei RF1000 helmet that's comfy as hell, and that'll double as goggles up North. The one disadvantage is that it's full face, which means you'd have to take it off for sniping. It might actually be best to get a mega man latcherdoo helmet. Those are pretty sweet.


I'd also wear cargo pants and a tactical vest, for extra storage, and if I can find lightweight body armor in a cop car I'd throw that on underneath the leathers.
-------------------

Guns

I knew you guys would love this, and you're gonna love my rationale. I'm also gonna mention bladed implements. Tools will come with my other gear section. Since this is gonna be a really fun section, I'll go into great detail about why I picked the guns I picked.

What I've kept in mind is that I'll need guns that have ammo that's pretty easy to find, but doesn't Suck. 22's, 9mm's, 5.56's...really anything that's smaller than a 30 cal with hollowpoints is fucking worthless. You don't need to poke holes in zombies, you need to fuck shit up. Rifle rounds are a bit different, but have a lot of Kinetic energy and come in hollowpoints anyway.

Handguns are last-ditch guns, and also the gun you'll be blowing your brains out with. Have at least a .40 cal with hollowpoints. I'm a fan of the Beretta PX4 Storm in 40 cal. You should still be able to find the rounds and if you're lucky, you'll come by Ranger SXT rounds. These will blow a hole in just about anything, and have STOPPING POWER. The 9mm variant only gives you 3 more shots for a pussy-ass bullet that isn't really made in SXT's. I'd get at least two of these, plus 3 clips for each. Again, these are my out-of-everything-else-and-dropped-my-ninja-sword weapon. .40 cal is an easy bullet to find, the px4 is fantastic to field strip, lightweight, compact, and very, very sexy

SMG's

Ideally? If we lived in a perfect world? Hell. Yes. Daddy like. Besides full auto and semi auto, there's a double-tap mode. Yes. Double tap. Oh my god...swing stock...zero recoil and muzzle climb...this would be on my hip at all times. The clips are skinny too, and they're even making a 40 cal variant. Can you imagine that thing hucking hollowpoints? That's all sorts of awesome.

Buuuut, they're rare. I won't be getting my hands on one. What could I come by? Well, the Uzi is nice, and I'll have a better chance of finding that than an mp5, and there's the MAC 10 Like the vector, this thing hucks .45 ACP, but unlike the vector there is one advantage, and one disadvantage: with the stock retracted, it's under a foot long, but even with the stock out, it's really only good for CQB. Still, it weighs nothing, it's easy to find, and it's the official gun of NWA...I think...plus, there are a lot of them. They should be easy to find.

I should mention now that I'd actually requisition the next three weapons first, because they'd be the easiest to find and I'd need them to find these other two. I would case a gun store before I ever even THOUGHT of raiding it, because odds are the hillbilly who runs it is probably holed up in there, or booby trapped it, or god knows what. Pawn shops might be a little bit better, but they'll be hard to break in to and maybe alarmed. Point being, these first weapons are pretty much expendable, save for one good handgun..

If I had to pick one weapon, one weapon to get me through the zombie apocalypse, one weapon I knew I'd be able to rely on, a weapon that would stay on my chest until I was positive every last zombie was dead, what I personally feel is the best gottdam personal protective weapon today THE M14 EBR 20 rounds of .308 being hucked through one of these bad boys out to 800 meters....that's sexy. .308 ammo is absolutely everywhere, as are m14's, and although the new chassis and stock would only come from one company to the tune of a grand, m14 barrels, clips, and ammo are everywhere. I'm actually selling my mosin nagant as soon as I go coon hunting a couple 5 or 10 times, just so I can save up for this. Sexiest damn rifle, and honestly, I don't know why I'd want it in anything but semi-auto anyway. Not a big deal, really.

If anybody wants the whole thing here is your link. Is it worth 3500? Meh. Probably. It's brand new and from the manufacturer...but at the same time...you could just build one yourself. That's what I'm doing. They even make hollowpoint. That's 2650fps and 2620lbs of force, boys and girls. That is death incarnate.

And you WANT the versatility of a battle rifle: it's point-and-shoot at CQB, and fantastic at range. Great for picking off survivors before you come in to an area, and fantastic for those summer days up in North Country when you're picking off what little undead there are left, and year-round for feeding yourself. I'm pretty sure this would fuck up a moose. You could easily have 4-6 clips at hand, and if you need any more than that, you deserve to die, because that's like...what...at least 50 zombie's worth of bullets? Come on Helen Keller, aim your fucking gun.

Now, you're also gonna want a shotgun. Solution? Remington 870? Absolutely not. Why? Pump action. You don't want to have to fuck with that. Blah blah reliability. Okay, Google Benelli's Super Black Eagle II. Tadaaa. You'd wanna obviously saw off the barrel, and I'd look in to getting a shell sleeve for the butt. This would be what I'd pull out before they're in Katana Distance.


Oh yeah, and duh. Oh yeah, and someone will actually ask me about a Wakazashi, but I say I want the cutting power. A chinese sword would be good too as far as backswing goes, but if I'm pulling out the Katana, shit's about to get real. Slicing is much, much better than stabbing when it comes to zombies, especially if you somehow manage to get cornered by packs. It should be old, like pre-1800s old, and should be folded some ungodly amount of times and cost you a ridiculous amount of money. If you can tell the difference between air and zombie flesh, you need a better katana
---------------

Other Supplies

Obviously, most importantly, you need a backpack. Tada

This is a sweet system because you can add packs and scabbards.

I'd personally want to keep quite a bit of ammo, probably half the weight of what I'd be carrying. .308 and .40 in their own pouch, and a decent amount of slugs.

Water would obviously be on hand, and I'd have some sort of camelpack or removeable bladder for the backpack.

I'd only want to carry 2 week's worth of food, and that'd be in the form of Granola/Protein bars. You're hard pressed to find more nutrient in a more compact size, and canned goods are too bulky and weigh you down.

I'd also want some sort of spotter scope or binoculars, not for zombies, but for other people. I'd definitely not move through a town without casing it for a while.

You wouldn't want a radio or cell phone or anything electronic, really. What for? Actually, I take that back: you'd want some sort of night vision, especially for night riding. I don't know if zombies give off heat signatures but I'm assuming their eyes would glow. Nights would definitely be spent driving at high, high speeds through desolate areas of the country. I'll get to that.

Besides ammo, powerbars, and water...I mean...first aid yeah. Antibiotics and painkillers are a must, as is ADD medication. Some sort of amphetamine. If you eat well and drink enough water, you can stay up indefinitely for the most part. If need be, there are places you'd be able to hunker down if you didn't attract attention.

I'd bring some rappelling equipment, probably 2-300 feet of slackline and a few carabiners, in case I needed to get down off of something I'd destroyed access to, needed to climb somewhere, it's good to have rope, and slack has damn good tensile strength with a lot less bulk.

You'd definitely want a map of the US, and GPS. Steal a Garmin and get one of those portable crank chargers. GPS shouldn't ever go down. Also, load up an iPod and get some decent headphones. I'd throw on a lot of audiobooks along with the music, especially World War Z, and The Zombie Survival Handbook. The classics are 160 gigs, that's more music than I've had, and I've had 24,000 songs. Come to think of it, I should get one of those just as an external hard drive before the zombies take over.

Lastly, again, a few sets of clothes and basic toiletries. Thermal tops, bottoms, and socks, a few tee shirts, toothbrush and toothpaste, deodorant, floss...that's about it. Maybe a sewing kit if need be. Maybe a few pairs of jeans for Northern Summers. I suppose I'd wanna do the Bear Grylls and have a flint handy, and Les Stroud my face off with a bitchin' multitool. That means I'd need a sharpening stone.

...

...is anyone a boy scout? Am I leaving something out? I really don't think so...

After that, it's just the motorcycle maintenance. That means I'd need a tire patch kit, spare chain...spare battery if there's room somewhere in the bike for it. Actually, fuck it, even if it's a rocket I'd still put saddlebags on. Yeah, Dad would like hearing that. Okay, so that means rain suit, chain, tire patch kit, oil, carb cleaner, chain lube, and I wonder if there's a crank char...wait...fuck...JUMPER CABLES!!! FUCKING DUH!!! Oh, better yet one of those AC cigarette lighter quick chargers. Oh hell yes. And I think that could all fit on one saddlebag, so I'd throw a good 5 gallon gas can on the other.


You know guys, come to think of it, I think sport tourer is the way to go. BMW K1300 or my FJ1200 or even a Goldwing. Actually, a Goldwing would be pretty fuckin' clutch. I think they run like...mid 12's in the quarter and 0-60 in the mid fours...that's pretty decent. Yeah, I'd try to find a Goldwing. Unless I found an FJ1200. Sentimental value.
The Plan

Wellllll...I'm actually not too bad at the moment. I've got a Remington 870 that Dad still has and my Mosin Nagant. I want a hiking backpack and something to take hunting or snowboarding so I really, really like that Skycrane. I've already got the snowboard gear and if I had a big enough pack I could just throw in my Jacket and Pants and I'd be fine down to 40 below, which is like, I think 70mph at...30 degrees? Nah...I've ridden in worse than that. Like I said, I really want to do the EBR thing and if we're talking 2012, I should have the guns I mentioned. Also, if the State hasn't already barred me forever, I might even have the motorcycle. If not, that's the first thing I'd steal. I'd get it from a motorcycle store, and I'd also be sure to get one of those suits. Again, I'll probably buy one of those anyway, Stevens actually gave me the contact info for a guy who sells some good used ones for cheap. If I have the bike, leathers, backpack, and guns, that only leaves ammo, food, gas, and a bulletproof vest.

I can find the first three at Wal-Mart but that's where everybody's gonna wanna go, so I think I'd look around for pawn shops or try to raid a gun shop or maybe even hit a Cabela's after a few days. Eh...nah...I'd be out of urban areas within a day...remind me to buy a lot of ammunition...bulletproof vest is the easy part: again, cop car.

So, where to go and how to get there? Well, I think I'd take 35 north until I got to where I could cut to the Dakotas, then up through those until I got to Montana, and then from Montana I'd hit Canada and ride until it got too cold. Then, it's just a matter of finding a nice 4x4 pickup, loading the bike in (we'd be attached), and finding someplace fairly desolate to hunker down. I'd spend the days listening to my iPod and keeping watch, and fortifying wherever I was as best I could. I'd stay the hell away from people. They'd never see me. Especially if they're armed.

One I've hunkered down I've got enough knowhow to hunt for meat and grow food hydroponically. Yeah, that too. Honestly, I probably wouldn't get stoned in the Zombie Apocalypse. Baked is my 'B' game at best. I'd wanna kick far more ass than that.


I'd try to be about an hour from the nearest town, no more than a day on foot. Hopefully there'd be enough gas to siphen and canned food to live off of during the winter, and if not, I'd hopefully be able to hunt.
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Who I'd Take

Honestly guys, nobody. Even my best friends, you're on your own. Logistically, we can't self-sustain. More people draw greater attention and bigger numbers means more shit to go wrong. If I get seriously injured, I just kill myself, but if it's someone else, especially a girl or kid, we'd have to go to the fucking hospital and then people would look at me like I should know what the hell to do and then the zombies would come mid-surgery and we'd all die. Awesome.

I would, however, bring a girl. The short skinny ones don't eat much and I don't think she'd be bitching about anything seeing as she'd be not dead (or un-dead). It'd be kinda hard to fit her on the back of the bike unless she wore the backpack, and she'd also affect gas mileage and food rations, but the winter would be a whole hell of a lot more enjoyable It's almost always dark...

Although I guess I'd have to add birth control to the list...yeah...no zombie apocalypse babies...and she'd have to be really cool and decent with a rifle...but yeah, I'd take a girl. It's too bad I can't fit two on a motorcycle....maybe there'll be one up North...and then I could have two...

[Darkwatch]

I think we can all agree that this is the best reason that we should buy that Island and turn it into a Malazan Empire anti-Zombie Bunker.

[Illuyankas]

Wow, that guy is totally sucking the cock of katana worship. And slicing over stabbing? He was doing so well, too, practically everything else he's talking about is essential.

[maro]

Illuyankas, on 14 March 2010 - 10:39 PM, said:

Wow, that guy is totally sucking the cock of katana worship. And slicing over stabbing? He was doing so well, too, practically everything else he's talking about is essential.

Realistically, if you're using a sword, slicing is better than stabbing - if you've got multiple Z's incoming, you're bound to stuff up and get the blade stuck. Slashes push the target back due to kinetic energy. Even if you don't fully slice through, you'll disable the limb etc.

Whilst I am a massive Shinken fan, mace or tomahawk is the go - blunt trauma to brainstem is what you want.

Amusingly, I had a conversation at a party on Saturday where I was asked why I do Martial Arts.


Zombie Apocalypse is the answer!