Malazan Empire: Bent - Malazan Empire

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Bent GET BENT! too obviou

#21 User is offline   Bent 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 06:32 PM

meh - it was nothing - but I am serious Mal - someone should be putting these interviews somewhere, they are really great. Mine more than some....lol

Now be honest - how many of you clicked the rep button on the opening post and thought I would recieve it?

Shin deserves it, but I am and always will be a rep-whore!
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#22 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 06:45 PM

"action failed, you're all out of rep juice"

WTF? sorry bent, i'll try agian tomorrw before i head south and forget
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#23 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 07:32 PM

Was waiting for you to post in the thread, you don't think I'm not too lazy to go find a post of yours, do you?
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
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#24 User is offline   Malaclypse 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 08:23 PM

View PostBent, on 30 October 2009 - 06:32 PM, said:

meh - it was nothing - but I am serious Mal - someone should be putting these interviews somewhere, they are really great. Mine more than some....lol

Now be honest - how many of you clicked the rep button on the opening post and thought I would recieve it?

Shin deserves it, but I am and always will be a rep-whore!


You're right, will look into creating a sub-forum in the Hall of Fame ASAP.

About the rep: what Illy said, repped you as soon as you posted in the thread, I was fully aware that the rep I gave to the OP was for Shin but he deserves it for coming up with this idea and persevering with it.

Cheers

#25 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 09:20 PM

whos next whos next?


more more more!!!!

I demand to know about illy's chicken fetish
I want details of tistes necrophilia
I want to know what the fuck mal is on aboot!!!
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#26 User is offline   Malaclypse 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 09:31 PM

alright, so I've made the sub-forum and moved Bent and Sombra's interviews in here, haven't been able to find teholbeddict's interview as of yet, would appreciate any help - Shin, have you kept track?

@Macros: I'm gonna plant maboot in your ass in a minute :(

#27 User is offline   Bent 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 09:35 PM

here is Zanth13's...still looking for others

http://forum.malazan...opic=16074&st=0

here is tb's

http://forum.malazan...opic=15932&st=0

here is HD's

http://forum.malazan...opic=15783&st=0

This post has been edited by Bent: 30 October 2009 - 09:40 PM

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#28 User is offline   Bent 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 09:40 PM

That should be all of them Mal.
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#29 User is offline   Malaclypse 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 09:48 PM

View PostBent, on 30 October 2009 - 09:40 PM, said:

That should be all of them Mal.


Cool. Thanks a bunch. They should all be here now. I dunno if this is ultimately suitable as the subforum is very small and at the very bottom of the main forum page but we'll see how it goes :(

#30 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 10:01 PM

Bill, as much as I fear yaboot in my ass, I'm drunk enough to think my continueing this joke is amusing, so I dare you to do sometihng aboot it :(
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#31 User is offline   Bent 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 10:42 PM

View PostMacros, on 30 October 2009 - 10:01 PM, said:

Bill, as much as I fear yaboot in my ass, I'm drunk enough to think my continueing this joke is amusing, so I dare you to do sometihng aboot it :(


Aaaaand...Mac gets temp banned and I for one think its aboo...about time...dont hit me!!!!
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#32 User is offline   Shinrei 

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Posted 31 October 2009 - 01:26 AM

If anything ever happens to them, I've got them all copy/pasted onto my computer too. (Not that that is fool proof).

Thanks for the rep, but to those of you who are calling "who's next" I'm sticking to my rule of waiting a week. Gotta keep it fresh by heightening the tension. :(
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#33 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 31 October 2009 - 01:55 AM

Thats what SHE said!
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#34 User is offline   Shinrei 

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Posted 31 October 2009 - 02:47 AM

Testing
You’ve never heard of the Silanda? … It’s the ship that made the Warren of Telas run in less than 12 parsecs.
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#35 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 31 October 2009 - 07:18 AM

BAH. This is what I get for being the guinea pig. BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Just kidding. Fantastic interview and questions!

Fun reading Bent and good questions asked!

I will, however, always be the cherry-popper. :(
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
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#36 User is offline   bubba 

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Posted 31 October 2009 - 01:22 PM

View PostShinrei, on 30 October 2009 - 09:01 AM, said:

First off, I just want to begin by stating how awesome I am. Yes, thats right, I deserve all of the awe and special treatments that come with the fame that Shin's 20 Questions bring about (someone is preserving these for posterity...right?)

. So keep your eyes on me children and follow closely. Because its going to be a bumpy ride down the rabbit hole....


1) How were you introduced to the Malazan series?

This is honestly one of my favorite stories to tell. I was on my honeymoon actually. The Mrs. and I had an awesome hotel suite, it was the honeymoon suite at a courtyard inn. Anyway, after we consumated the the marriage, and played in the hot tub, we did what all married people do...turned off the television, and went to sleep.

The next morning, we went shopping. She bought a Kimono(sp?...that dress thing asian ladies wear...you know...that thing..) and I went to the bookstore. I scanned through the fantasy books (the only ones that I ever read. And carefully looked for a thick book that would last for a while. I found Gardens of the Moon. I started reading it that night and fell in love. I went back the next day and bought Deadhouse Gates and Memories of Ice...the rest is history. So you could say tht I fell in love with my 2 favorite things. My wife and malazan books (to escape her, lol)

You should read this as his wife saying "you are never touching me again so you had better go buy a book.

2) What brought you to Malazan Empire forums?

The blurb in the front of Reaper's Gale - I read that and decided that I wanted to delve deeper into the mind of my by then favorite author. I never realized that he would be completely insane (based on all of the crazy theories and the Inn.)

Read as "i'm lonely....so lonely

3) How did you choose your username?

Like most here, I wanted to choose a name that was in the books. I thought instantly about my favorite character. Bent the cattledog. And I thought, how appropriate, hes a little twisted, and a little bit magical. I picked him and never looked back. Well, that one time I was the albino from princess bride...but thats another story entirely.

Real reason, It is the nick name the emergency room doctors gave him after his tragic masturbation accident.

4) Do you remember your first post? What was it and who responded?

Sort of. It may or may not have been my first post but it was number one, or number two. I posted a small Prologue and beginning of Chapter one of a story I was writing.

http://forum.malazan...?showtopic=8450

polish genius was the first to respond. Teaching me that if you dont press enter a couple of times you get a GIANT WALL OF TEXT. Caladanbrood's post below that was the one that helps me remember my first post. No comment on the righting, just please god learn how to spell Jonathan, lol. He was a douche even that far back, but hes ok, we've never had any real problems, except that post in the "Which Way does it hang" thread where cb posted a link to a gif called helicopter, where 2 gay guys were..well, you get the idea...another story for another time...

Real first post. "What ass took the login name Bubba...I wanted that one because it's so cool"

5) Which members do you feel a special connection with?

Long answer, but the honest one is this-

Well of course Bubba - I can honestly say that he is my best friend. And I have only met him once in person (soon to be twice). He is about 30 years older than me, but we sill have entirely too much in common.

Believe it or not I actually admire Rodeo, even though we probably havent interacted with each other more than a handful of time. I guess I get his senile sense of humor and his amazing ability at starting threads that mean nothing yet evolve into epic sagas.

Another believe it or not is Abyss - the talent level of that dude is astonishing. FFS, he writes short stories and satire on the side, while moderating and having his own army to manage. But primarily is knowledge is only second to one...

Illy - genius in a grumpy disturbing and slightly sad bottle. No matter how much you want to hate this dude, you just cant. And believe me..I've tried.

Deloris Menhir -I spoke to this person one time, in a discussion thread about liberalism and conservative ism. But anyone who has a reputation for thinking ALL threads are stupid, and still has friends, deserves at least a tiny bit of respect.

Everyone that has or does play mafia. I wont name all of you but everyone of you, past and present have more in common with me than I thought possible. Able to give and take insults and never bat an eye. Loving to role-play (but not too much Darkwatch, lol) and battle in epic contests and evolve the game and change it. You guys are all my friends, sory I didn't list you all, bu shit, people are gonna get bored with my bs eventually,lol.

Everyone that plays in the inn. Thats a family in that place. Some funny threads turn into deep discussions...some deep discussions get moved there for turning funny. People get drunk..and make threads..and then make threads..and then make threads..and then....lol.

I will mention several people who were in the WIN threads. I may forget or leave out some, but that was what seriously got me addicted to this place - Apt,Abyss (who started it, and it exploded into something unforgetful, if you werent there..sorry, you missed it) Mentalist, Optimus Prime, Bubba, Cocoreturns,Venge, Shiara, so many others..my memory sucks, but that was a special time..hell we had Jennifer nearly crying when he shut that thread down...so many stories...truly EPIC.

Sorry if I didn't mention you specifically, but hell I know so many of you, that I truly feel I connected (at least on some level) with ALL of you (even that Lace guy that played mafia and called SE a hack, lol then vanished.....)

Anyway - NEXT!

Only your best friend would trash you like this....


6) What are your favorite parts of the forum?

The Inn and Mafia forums are top 2. I hate (repeat hate!) the book forums. Im not smart enough to contribute there...hell I thought the Chain of Dogs was in Memories of Ice for a year or better, anytime I saw whats your favorite book, I responded MOI! ...stupid!

Read this as, "if it wasn't for audio books I wouldn't be here".

7) Seriously, again, what’s with the name? And the dog representation?

Seriously - everyone should know Bent -cattledog introduced in the 2nd book...continues to appear throughout. I firmly believe that the Imperial Historian will be sitting in his room, writing these books with an old Bent and Roach, laying by his feet, watching the fire.....Having said that - my avatar HAS to be a dog. in some form or shape. Its changed very rarely to something not K-9, but thats mostly in avatar wars, like when eveyone made a variation of Jen...or princess bride avaars (not gonna be a freaking OWL!!!!!)

It suits you....Dumb ass a box of rock, and you eat cat poop.

8) What are some forum "events" that stand out in your memory?

See, there is only one event. The I win thread. Only one thread, but massive events spilled out of it. Let me explain

Mal posts a letter from SE saying he would like to personally meet Abyss. Abyss says - I win. Apt dis agrees. Hilarity and much roleplaying and repwhoring ensues and all laugh and teach the mods the true meaning of SPAM. hell mods of the mods, and even Abyss and Apt never even looked in on those threads they grew so fast. Hundreds of posts sometimes 100 a day or so.

Then spins off rep wars. Apt hits 10,000 rep...something unheard of (well, maybe in the forum before the forum...) Abyss hits 15,oo0...I get 10,000 rep in under 100 posts (inn posts not counted). Bubba springs up out of nowhere and passes Apt. Illy passes both of them...Illy starts repping Apt and gets him past bubba...and then

Apt convinces Jen to lock the thread at the moment he completes a contrived "voodoo spell". The thread is locked...Venge starts a new thread...but no dice...Bubba says he is on strike and wont post any more pics in the awesome picture thread..people BEG for the thread to be opened! Full rebellion...and then my favorite part (because it was beautiful..seriously...)

I started a petition to re-open the win thread...The freaking thread was known for spammers..hell admin liked it because it kept us out of other more important threads...anyway, I started the thread with an awesome speech about how the forum was going to hell and open rebellion was being discussed! So I had all of the major spammers and rep-whores to post one time...stating only their names - I started it..Bent

then
Venge
then Gem Windcaster
then Bubba
the Coco
the...so on

one post one name - no spam..I think it got 12 names like that in a few minutes when finally the I win thread was re-opened. Merged with venges thread. and my petition thread was deleted. Truly the greatest thing I have ever witnessed on this forum to date...

well that or the time when Rodeo sneezed...lol

Your one shinning moment...it's been all down hill from there

9) What members would you particularly like to meet in real life? Have you met any already?

Dibs,Macros,and Tapper - I dont think I will ever get to meet them, but those 3 are at the top, because of different mafia related reasons.

I've met Bubba. I am going to meet Venge,HD,Morgy,and possibly a few others.

I wish there was a way to have an actual convention...with SE there, and a world wide meet-up. Just so one time, and only once, I could call you all a bunch of freaking foreigners! And thank you all for the gift of friendship.

Read as " it's complicated, I have a hard time keeping track of all the restraining orders".


10) You’re given one vigilante kill of anyone in the entire world and you are guaranteed never to be caught for the deed. Who do you “off”?

Bear Grylles - I would say - "Survive that mother-f*cker!" and smile...what?

WRONG!!!! the answer is Dibs....how many times do you have to get killed to learn that

11) If you were stranded on a desert island with only one MBotF, which one is it?

good question. Tough one so I will cheat first then give you an answer...

the complete compilation books on tape collectors edition that isn't made yet, but I hope will be one day......so that I could have them all...

but truthfully - Deadhouse Gates will always be my favorite...its where you meet Bent, after all

See I told ya, he can't read

12) If you met Steven Erikson and you could only ask one question, what would it be?

Do you know Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal savior?....if he said no...I would respond ..and what a shame that is...

Hey thats honest... that stuff is important to me.

:( Good answer.
13) Who is you favorite character from the series?

Seriously?

But if you mean humanoid character - hands down Crokus....Kidding, jeez! Its definitely Anomander Rake.
And if I need to explain that, well then, you all need to read the books again.

Geeky fan boy

14) Speaking of dog representation, how many dogs do you have and what kind(s) are they? What’s your favorite breed?

2 dogs - one is an Australian Cattledog (see, Bent is awesome...but wife wouldn't let me name him Bent..she sucks)

The other is a mutt -Coco Shes a Chocolate Lab,Weiner dog, collie, some other crap mix...but she's beautiful...there are pics somewhere around here..maybe I'll re post them

Favorite Breed...Huskies are awesome..but rare in the heat where I live..But probably my favorite it the St. Bernard. Only because in the old cartoons they carried rum around their necks to help people who froze in the cold mountain air...hell I want one just to put rum around its neck!

The SCPA still have him on the watch list

15) Who wins?

I win -
Abyss is more popular
Apt is more widely known
Bubba is kinder
Illy is hated more

I win because I am married...and can have sex whenever I want (if she doesn't have a headache, lol).

Read as "not me"

16) Never play mafia again, or pay Abyss $300?

Never play mafia again - I wouldnt throw a bucket of water on Abyss if he was drowning! What?

Wait, what?

17) Do you do any creative writing yourself?

Some, but I dont put much time into it. Wen Im old and retire...then I'll pursue that dream...right now I have other responsibilities...like a job to provide my wife with shopping money!

Read as, "I'm still working on my letters....I'm stuck on the letter Q."

18) When not reading MBotF, what are you typically reading?

I read only fantasy. I dont like sci-fi or any other genre. Hell, I even read the COMPLETE works of goodkind (and yes, I hated every minute, but oince I start a series....)

Read as "I like the picture books"

19) Do you keep a personal library, or do the books just cycle through your possession?

I keep some books (I have all the Robert Jordan ,WoT, book. All of SE's and several other collections)

But mostly I re-cycle books. A bookstore trades used books not far from me, and I take my old and least favorite ones, and trade them in on others.

Read as, "I like to use them as jack stands for all the junk cars in my front yard".

20) Please bare one random little known fact about yourself for the peanut gallery please.

I want to be a moderator more than anything. I missed my chance because I couldn't pretend I know anything about the books,when they needed the help, and Mal said they weren't looking for Inn mods (Abyss and Rodeo are great, I just am not qualified to mod anywhere else. lol).

One day it will happen and Im not worried about it really. But I want to give back to the forum somehow, and I dont have any money! HA

Keep dreaming.


I hope you had as much fun reading all of that as I did writing it. You've all touched me in some way...now I feel like I need a shower...

Shit! I should have answered these DRUNK! DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Shin - for doing this. You deserve a medal.


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#37 User is offline   Bent 

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Posted 31 October 2009 - 02:07 PM

dont be jealous Bubba - Its alright - maybe one day you will be asked 20 questions. But rep for the digs anyway. Douchebag.
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#38 User is offline   Shinrei 

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Posted 01 November 2009 - 09:17 AM

SOMEBODY MOVE THIS BACK TO THE IIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!



Only archive them in the special thread once the next one starts! PLEASE!
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#39 User is offline   bubba 

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Posted 01 November 2009 - 11:32 AM

:(

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#40 User is offline   Bent 

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Posted 01 November 2009 - 01:05 PM

View PostBubba, on 01 November 2009 - 11:32 AM, said:

:(


Get your filthy hands off my thread - you damn dirty ape!!!


always wanted to say that.
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