Malazan Empire: Bent - Malazan Empire

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Bent GET BENT! too obviou

#1 User is offline   Shinrei 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 09:01 AM

First off, I just want to begin by stating how awesome I am. Yes, thats right, I deserve all of the awe and special treatments that come with the fame that Shin's 20 Questions bring about (someone is preserving these for posterity...right?)

. So keep your eyes on me children and follow closely. Because its going to be a bumpy ride down the rabbit hole....


1) How were you introduced to the Malazan series?

This is honestly one of my favorite stories to tell. I was on my honeymoon actually. The Mrs. and I had an awesome hotel suite, it was the honeymoon suite at a courtyard inn. Anyway, after we consumated the the marriage, and played in the hot tub, we did what all married people do...turned off the television, and went to sleep.

The next morning, we went shopping. She bought a Kimono(sp?...that dress thing asian ladies wear...you know...that thing..) and I went to the bookstore. I scanned through the fantasy books (the only ones that I ever read. And carefully looked for a thick book that would last for a while. I found Gardens of the Moon. I started reading it that night and fell in love. I went back the next day and bought Deadhouse Gates and Memories of Ice...the rest is history. So you could say tht I fell in love with my 2 favorite things. My wife and malazan books (to escape her, lol)


2) What brought you to Malazan Empire forums?

The blurb in the front of Reaper's Gale - I read that and decided that I wanted to delve deeper into the mind of my by then favorite author. I never realized that he would be completely insane (based on all of the crazy theories and the Inn.)


3) How did you choose your username?

Like most here, I wanted to choose a name that was in the books. I thought instantly about my favorite character. Bent the cattledog. And I thought, how appropriate, hes a little twisted, and a little bit magical. I picked him and never looked back. Well, that one time I was the albino from princess bride...but thats another story entirely.


4) Do you remember your first post? What was it and who responded?

Sort of. It may or may not have been my first post but it was number one, or number two. I posted a small Prologue and beginning of Chapter one of a story I was writing.

http://forum.malazan...?showtopic=8450

polish genius was the first to respond. Teaching me that if you dont press enter a couple of times you get a GIANT WALL OF TEXT. Caladanbrood's post below that was the one that helps me remember my first post. No comment on the righting, just please god learn how to spell Jonathan, lol. He was a douche even that far back, but hes ok, we've never had any real problems, except that post in the "Which Way does it hang" thread where cb posted a link to a gif called helicopter, where 2 gay guys were..well, you get the idea...another story for another time...

5) Which members do you feel a special connection with?

Long answer, but the honest one is this-

Well of course Bubba - I can honestly say that he is my best friend. And I have only met him once in person (soon to be twice). He is about 30 years older than me, but we sill have entirely too much in common.

Believe it or not I actually admire Rodeo, even though we probably havent interacted with each other more than a handful of time. I guess I get his senile sense of humor and his amazing ability at starting threads that mean nothing yet evolve into epic sagas.

Another believe it or not is Abyss - the talent level of that dude is astonishing. FFS, he writes short stories and satire on the side, while moderating and having his own army to manage. But primarily is knowledge is only second to one...

Illy - genius in a grumpy disturbing and slightly sad bottle. No matter how much you want to hate this dude, you just cant. And believe me..I've tried.

Deloris Menhir -I spoke to this person one time, in a discussion thread about liberalism and conservative ism. But anyone who has a reputation for thinking ALL threads are stupid, and still has friends, deserves at least a tiny bit of respect.

Everyone that has or does play mafia. I wont name all of you but everyone of you, past and present have more in common with me than I thought possible. Able to give and take insults and never bat an eye. Loving to role-play (but not too much Darkwatch, lol) and battle in epic contests and evolve the game and change it. You guys are all my friends, sory I didn't list you all, bu shit, people are gonna get bored with my bs eventually,lol.

Everyone that plays in the inn. Thats a family in that place. Some funny threads turn into deep discussions...some deep discussions get moved there for turning funny. People get drunk..and make threads..and then make threads..and then make threads..and then....lol.

I will mention several people who were in the WIN threads. I may forget or leave out some, but that was what seriously got me addicted to this place - Apt,Abyss (who started it, and it exploded into something unforgetful, if you werent there..sorry, you missed it) Mentalist, Optimus Prime, Bubba, Cocoreturns,Venge, Shiara, so many others..my memory sucks, but that was a special time..hell we had Jennifer nearly crying when he shut that thread down...so many stories...truly EPIC.

Sorry if I didn't mention you specifically, but hell I know so many of you, that I truly feel I connected (at least on some level) with ALL of you (even that Lace guy that played mafia and called SE a hack, lol then vanished.....)

Anyway - NEXT!

6) What are your favorite parts of the forum?

The Inn and Mafia forums are top 2. I hate (repeat hate!) the book forums. Im not smart enough to contribute there...hell I thought the Chain of Dogs was in Memories of Ice for a year or better, anytime I saw whats your favorite book, I responded MOI! ...stupid!


7) Seriously, again, what’s with the name? And the dog representation?

Seriously - everyone should know Bent -cattledog introduced in the 2nd book...continues to appear throughout. I firmly believe that the Imperial Historian will be sitting in his room, writing these books with an old Bent and Roach, laying by his feet, watching the fire.....Having said that - my avatar HAS to be a dog. in some form or shape. Its changed very rarely to something not K-9, but thats mostly in avatar wars, like when eveyone made a variation of Jen...or princess bride avaars (not gonna be a freaking OWL!!!!!)

8) What are some forum "events" that stand out in your memory?

See, there is only one event. The I win thread. Only one thread, but massive events spilled out of it. Let me explain

Mal posts a letter from SE saying he would like to personally meet Abyss. Abyss says - I win. Apt dis agrees. Hilarity and much roleplaying and repwhoring ensues and all laugh and teach the mods the true meaning of SPAM. hell mods of the mods, and even Abyss and Apt never even looked in on those threads they grew so fast. Hundreds of posts sometimes 100 a day or so.

Then spins off rep wars. Apt hits 10,000 rep...something unheard of (well, maybe in the forum before the forum...) Abyss hits 15,oo0...I get 10,000 rep in under 100 posts (inn posts not counted). Bubba springs up out of nowhere and passes Apt. Illy passes both of them...Illy starts repping Apt and gets him past bubba...and then

Apt convinces Jen to lock the thread at the moment he completes a contrived "voodoo spell". The thread is locked...Venge starts a new thread...but no dice...Bubba says he is on strike and wont post any more pics in the awesome picture thread..people BEG for the thread to be opened! Full rebellion...and then my favorite part (because it was beautiful..seriously...)

I started a petition to re-open the win thread...The freaking thread was known for spammers..hell admin liked it because it kept us out of other more important threads...anyway, I started the thread with an awesome speech about how the forum was going to hell and open rebellion was being discussed! So I had all of the major spammers and rep-whores to post one time...stating only their names - I started it..Bent

then
Venge
then Gem Windcaster
then Bubba
the Coco
the...so on

one post one name - no spam..I think it got 12 names like that in a few minutes when finally the I win thread was re-opened. Merged with venges thread. and my petition thread was deleted. Truly the greatest thing I have ever witnessed on this forum to date...

well that or the time when Rodeo sneezed...lol


9) What members would you particularly like to meet in real life? Have you met any already?

Dibs,Macros,and Tapper - I dont think I will ever get to meet them, but those 3 are at the top, because of different mafia related reasons.

I've met Bubba. I am going to meet Venge,HD,Morgy,and possibly a few others.

I wish there was a way to have an actual convention...with SE there, and a world wide meet-up. Just so one time, and only once, I could call you all a bunch of freaking foreigners! And thank you all for the gift of friendship.

10) You’re given one vigilante kill of anyone in the entire world and you are guaranteed never to be caught for the deed. Who do you “off”?

Bear Grylles - I would say - "Survive that mother-f*cker!" and smile...what?

11) If you were stranded on a desert island with only one MBotF, which one is it?

good question. Tough one so I will cheat first then give you an answer...

the complete compilation books on tape collectors edition that isn't made yet, but I hope will be one day......so that I could have them all...

but truthfully - Deadhouse Gates will always be my favorite...its where you meet Bent, after all

12) If you met Steven Erikson and you could only ask one question, what would it be?

Do you know Jesus Christ as your Lord and personal savior?....if he said no...I would respond ..and what a shame that is...

Hey thats honest... that stuff is important to me.

13) Who is you favorite character from the series?

Seriously?

But if you mean humanoid character - hands down Crokus....Kidding, jeez! Its definitely Anomander Rake.
And if I need to explain that, well then, you all need to read the books again.

14) Speaking of dog representation, how many dogs do you have and what kind(s) are they? What’s your favorite breed?

2 dogs - one is an Australian Cattledog (see, Bent is awesome...but wife wouldn't let me name him Bent..she sucks)

The other is a mutt -Coco Shes a Chocolate Lab,Weiner dog, collie, some other crap mix...but she's beautiful...there are pics somewhere around here..maybe I'll re post them

Favorite Breed...Huskies are awesome..but rare in the heat where I live..But probably my favorite it the St. Bernard. Only because in the old cartoons they carried rum around their necks to help people who froze in the cold mountain air...hell I want one just to put rum around its neck!


15) Who wins?

I win -
Abyss is more popular
Apt is more widely known
Bubba is kinder
Illy is hated more

I win because I am married...and can have sex whenever I want (if she doesn't have a headache, lol).

16) Never play mafia again, or pay Abyss $300?

Never play mafia again - I wouldnt throw a bucket of water on Abyss if he was drowning! What?


17) Do you do any creative writing yourself?

Some, but I dont put much time into it. Wen Im old and retire...then I'll pursue that dream...right now I have other responsibilities...like a job to provide my wife with shopping money!

18) When not reading MBotF, what are you typically reading?

I read only fantasy. I dont like sci-fi or any other genre. Hell, I even read the COMPLETE works of goodkind (and yes, I hated every minute, but oince I start a series....)


19) Do you keep a personal library, or do the books just cycle through your possession?

I keep some books (I have all the Robert Jordan ,WoT, book. All of SE's and several other collections)

But mostly I re-cycle books. A bookstore trades used books not far from me, and I take my old and least favorite ones, and trade them in on others.


20) Please bare one random little known fact about yourself for the peanut gallery please.

I want to be a moderator more than anything. I missed my chance because I couldn't pretend I know anything about the books,when they needed the help, and Mal said they weren't looking for Inn mods (Abyss and Rodeo are great, I just am not qualified to mod anywhere else. lol).

One day it will happen and Im not worried about it really. But I want to give back to the forum somehow, and I dont have any money! HA



I hope you had as much fun reading all of that as I did writing it. You've all touched me in some way...now I feel like I need a shower...

Shit! I should have answered these DRUNK! DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!

Thanks Shin - for doing this. You deserve a medal.
You’ve never heard of the Silanda? … It’s the ship that made the Warren of Telas run in less than 12 parsecs.
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#2 User is offline   alt146 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 09:50 AM

Lol epic interview - nice! Bent, the obvious solution to your avatar problem is you need a picture of a dog dressed as an owl.
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#3 User is offline   Cougar 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 09:51 AM

Stay on topic please bat dog.

Well done Shin and Bent, easily the best and most interesting one you've done so far.
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#4 User is offline   Tapper 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 10:21 AM

I hope your mafia related reasons for wanting to meet dibs, mac and me don't involve payback and/or a massive shotgun... :(

Awesome interview, and the number 1 question was probably the very best 'how I started to read the MBotF' story I have ever heard!
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#5 User is offline   Shinrei 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 10:38 AM

View PostCougar, on 30 October 2009 - 09:51 AM, said:

Stay on topic please bat dog.

Well done Shin and Bent, easily the best and most interesting one you've done so far.



It was all Bent. :(
You’ve never heard of the Silanda? … It’s the ship that made the Warren of Telas run in less than 12 parsecs.
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#6 User is offline   Cougar 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 11:03 AM

I enjoyed how Bent claims not to have fallen in love with his wife until the morning after the wedding, fairly risky strategy.
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#7 User is offline   alt146 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 11:10 AM

View PostCougar, on 30 October 2009 - 11:03 AM, said:

I enjoyed how Bent claims not to have fallen in love with his wife until the morning after the wedding, fairly risky strategy.


Are there courtyard inns in vegas? That could explain it.
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#8 User is offline   Darkwatch 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 11:29 AM

View PostShinrei, on 30 October 2009 - 09:01 AM, said:

Loving to role-play (but not too much Darkwatch, lol) and battle in epic contests and evolve the game and change it. You guys are all my friends, sory I didn't list you all, bu shit, people are gonna get bored with my bs eventually,lol.

Everyone that plays in the inn. Thats a family in that place. Some funny threads turn into deep discussions...some deep discussions get moved there for turning funny. People get drunk..and make threads..and then make threads..and then make threads..and then....lol.


I'm touched.
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You're a rock.
A non-touching itself rock.
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#9 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 12:12 PM

I thoguht you were a rock famed for not being touched DW.

but thats neither here nor there, great interview, thanks aain to shin for doing these, and kang to bent for amusing answers sprinkled with enough simple honesty to make it great.

I'm with tapper regarding the mafia wanting to meet reason, my first thought was "uh oh, this can't be good, did I kill him?"
Then I figured it was epic rant is epic related
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#10 User is offline   drinksinbars 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 12:21 PM

i always knew you had a thing about me :(
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#11 User is offline   Obdigore 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 01:29 PM

Bent, two questions:

1) Do you view dibs as a leprechaun as I do?
2) If so, do you think we can take his pot of gold then setup a global malazan meet?
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#12 User is offline   Slow Ben 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 01:49 PM

Great friggin interview Bent.

Good Stuff.
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#13 User is offline   caladanbrood 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 02:06 PM

 

View PostShinrei, on 30 October 2009 - 09:01 AM, said:

4) Do you remember your first post? What was it and who responded?

Sort of. It may or may not have been my first post but it was number one, or number two. I posted a small Prologue and beginning of Chapter one of a story I was writing.

http://forum.malazan...?showtopic=8450

polish genius was the first to respond. Teaching me that if you dont press enter a couple of times you get a GIANT WALL OF TEXT. Caladanbrood's post below that was the one that helps me remember my first post. No comment on the righting, just please god learn how to spell Jonathan, lol.

I'm sensing a theme developing... should I point out that it's not true, or is there no point? :(
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#14 User is offline   Pilgrim 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 02:16 PM

I love these interview threads. Freakin hilarious! Good job Bent. Hopefully your wife doesn't read the board, or your Malazan privileges may cease.
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#15 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 05:03 PM

Good interview guys. I love this whole idea. Who's next?
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#16 User is offline   RodeoRanch 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 05:05 PM

SENILE?!


Why you damn kids...lawns and stuff.... :(
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#17 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 05:13 PM

Stop kicking my bottle while it is down.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
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#18 User is offline   Mentalist 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 05:28 PM

awesome interview, Bent.
but Pedantic bear says, "i win" was started when Abyss got 100 rep. the mal post about SE finding Abyss humorous was about 6 months later.
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View PostJump Around, on 23 October 2011 - 11:04 AM, said:

And I want to state that Ment has out-weaseled me by far in this game.
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#19 User is offline   Morgoth 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 06:15 PM

View Postdrinksinbars, on 30 October 2009 - 12:21 PM, said:

i always knew you had a thing about me :(


Everyone has a thing for you. Must be your girlish good looks and small stature :)
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#20 User is offline   Malaclypse 

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Posted 30 October 2009 - 06:27 PM

View PostMentalist, on 30 October 2009 - 05:28 PM, said:

awesome interview, Bent.
but Pedantic bear says, "i win" was started when Abyss got 100 rep. the mal post about SE finding Abyss humorous was about 6 months later.


Thank you. At least somebody remembers it correctly :( Also, great interview guys, have rep :)

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