Malazan Empire: The DOD Awards - Malazan Empire

Jump to content

  • 3 Pages +
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

The DOD Awards Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is offline   Aptorian 

  • How 'bout a hug?
  • Group: The Wheelchairs of War
  • Posts: 24,785
  • Joined: 22-May 06

Posted 01 September 2009 - 03:39 PM

Inspired by Abyss TTH review last summer.

These are my nominee's. Feel free to add nominee's and categories.

Nominated for best newcomer to the series: Yedan Derygg, guy single handedly dispatches a Forkrul Assail and five Liosan and only takes a wrist wound by accident. Before that he takes out 20 witches without being turned into a toad.

Honorable mention for Ruthan Gudd and his charge into a Nahruk phalanx and to the Shigal Assassin for just being plain awesome, all the time.

Nominated for best entry: Draconus, for his "groundbreaking" entrance on the Awl plains, tearing down the sky, freezing the air to subzero temperatures, quite literally blowing two giant armies to bits and pieces. The guy is badass.


Honourable mention for the Errant entering the 14ths card readding. Guy was scary.

Nominated for most hilarious scene: Fiddler becoming so frustrated he head-butts Quick Ben out cold. That whole event was awesome. Part Malazan CSI part slapstick comedy.

Funniest Comedy Duo: Kindly and Master Sergant Pores for just being one great dead pan exchange after another.

Honourable mention for Tehol and Bugg of course, and to the new guys Ublala and Draconus, quite a pair.


Favourite fight scene: All though we never witnessed it, the Shigal attack on the Trygalle wagon an the exchange between the Lizard and Gruntle, Mappo an the Bole brothers was way too awesome. Every time the Boles are mentioned their legend becomes just a bit cooler.

Favourite grizzly death: Sgt. Sunrise taking a bolt of lightning for Hedge. This ain't Pale and I ain't Tayschren all right

Honourable mention for that soldier who got his face chewed off and the rest of the head partially digested by Nahruk acid saliva.

Favorite God: I love the Errant. He's such an asshole, and yet the poor guy can't catch a break.

Honourable mention for Olar Ethil and Killy. Not very pleasant, but quite awesome Elder Gods.

Most fucked up part: Badaylle (or what ever child number 56681 was called) sitting and witnessing the death of random child nr. 17772, describing that death in the most poetic way, then later in passing mentioning consuming said dead child and complaining over the bloody, stringy meat.

Most RAGE inducing moment of the book: The hobbling and rape of Hetan and subsequent death of her and Cafal. God damn it, I'm still angry about that. This was worse than Trulls death in RG, because at least that was over quickly. This just went on and on and only ended with sad, lonely deaths. Horrible.

Honorable mention for the fucking Nahruk just coming out of nowhere and completely pawning the Bonehunters. FUCK.

Biggest WTF of the book: Icarium and his seven souls and Veed and a KCCM dragon fort becoming new warrens but not really turning into a living skykeep, that uses the Errant to make a finest and then seal some weird tear in time and space with a giant stone azath tower that came out of nothing... WTF?

Favorite off hand mention of previously unknown information: Crippled Gods name, Kaminsod.

Honorary mention of Knuckles creating the twins, his Oponnai, and the fact that the Hounds were made out of the ancestors of the Ay and that the Deragoth are made out of plains bears.

Most annoying character: Every kid in the snake. Yeah, yeah, it served a purpose but it was so slow and boring and I really did not care if they lived or died. That poet girl really pissed me off.

Honorable mention for Wolf girl.

Most pointless storyline: The Snake of endless philosophical musings and depressing poetry.

Best new invention: Acid Munitions!

EDIT: Stupid firefox spellcheck!

This post has been edited by Aptorian: 01 September 2009 - 06:41 PM

0

#2 User is offline   Sixty 

  • Don't be fooled. I am very serious.
  • Group: High House Mafia
  • Posts: 762
  • Joined: 01-December 08
  • Location:New Hampshire

Posted 01 September 2009 - 04:22 PM

Tbh I hated the snake PoV. I still have no fucking clue what was going on in that, except it was depressing.

I also didn't care much for the wandering souls/icarium, mainly because I was too retarded to realize who it was (been too long since RG I guess).
0

#3 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

  • Believer
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 8,049
  • Joined: 30-June 08
  • Location:Indianapolis
  • Interests:Football

Posted 01 September 2009 - 04:41 PM

I disagree with The Watch as best new comer. He's been around since Reaper's Gale. I nominate Sergeant Sunrise.

Favorite God? Please. Icarium.

Most annoying character: Sandalath Drukorlat. I wish Withal had slapped her.

Most bullshit, "Hey, I've found a sword!" powerup in the book: Sinn and Grub. "Ooh, looky a new warren that makes us deities!"

As for the Snake. Held is important, and the only difference between the Snake and the Chain of Dogs is that the Chain of Dogs had civilians and soldiers, while the snake had only children.
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
0

#4 User is offline   Illuyankas 

  • Retro Classic
  • Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
  • Posts: 7,254
  • Joined: 28-September 04
  • Will cluck you up

Posted 01 September 2009 - 04:55 PM

Held important? Held has almost certainly been dead this entire time. How the hell were they meant to feed a baby where the only food source is other children?
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
0

#5 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

  • Believer
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 8,049
  • Joined: 30-June 08
  • Location:Indianapolis
  • Interests:Football

Posted 01 September 2009 - 05:01 PM

Hmmmm. Good point. Why not eat the baby then, like all the others? Psychological?
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
0

#6 User is offline   Illuyankas 

  • Retro Classic
  • Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
  • Posts: 7,254
  • Joined: 28-September 04
  • Will cluck you up

Posted 01 September 2009 - 05:05 PM

A symbol, yes.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
0

#7 User is offline   QuickSam 

  • Recruit
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 18
  • Joined: 28-May 09

Posted 01 September 2009 - 06:32 PM

Best God: Mael.
As either Bugg or making deals to save people or in possibly my favourite "chat" of the whole book from pages 645 to 649 where he is talking to Kilmandaros about Rake, Draconus and subtelty. These four pages made Rake seem even more amazing than i thought possible. It also highlighted just how important Rake thought Draconus would be. Which can only be a good thing for the final book.

So much to dwell upon with this book.
0

#8 User is offline   Aptorian 

  • How 'bout a hug?
  • Group: The Wheelchairs of War
  • Posts: 24,785
  • Joined: 22-May 06

Posted 01 September 2009 - 06:40 PM

BEST TEMPER TANTRUM THROWN: Killymandaros, upon finding out it was... them!

This post has been edited by Aptorian: 01 September 2009 - 06:40 PM

0

#9 User is offline   Powder 

  • Fist
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 215
  • Joined: 19-April 09
  • Location:NYC

Posted 01 September 2009 - 06:43 PM

Best Comedic Pair
I agree to Pores/Kindly that was hilarious.
Darkhorse runner up Sweetlard and Rumjugs (the names alone make me lol)

Best possible death scene:
Lostra Yil 'See me Dance'
Runner up QB melting faces only to raise his hands and catch... lightning?

Biggest Character change:
Tool
Runner up
Hetan

Best god
Mael, threatens to drown other elder gods and sews up royal blankets all in the same day
Runner up
Hood, not only has the best curses but really got developed in this book

Most out of place scene
KCCM spaceship battle, seemed totally out of place to me despite how cool it looked in my head, kept thinking PEW PEW PEW ala starwars
Walker up
The description that hedge gave ges/stormy about being with rumjugs and sweetlard at the same time, 'its all pillows' really did'nt see that one coming.
0

#10 User is offline   Aptorian 

  • How 'bout a hug?
  • Group: The Wheelchairs of War
  • Posts: 24,785
  • Joined: 22-May 06

Posted 01 September 2009 - 06:48 PM

View PostPowder, on Sep 1 2009, 08:43 PM, said:

Best possible death scene:
Lostra Yil 'See me Dance'
Runner up QB melting faces only to raise his hands and catch... lightning?


They're so not dead.

Nobody is dead before you see their mangled corpse and you hear a description of their soul being inside Hoods warren.

You really think Quick got taken out that easy? I think he Veered into a weremole and tunneled down into Burns warren or something.

And the Adjunct can't possibly be dead, Lostara is to awesome a shadow dancer.
0

#11 User is offline   SporadicSmiles 

  • Recruit
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 20
  • Joined: 01-September 09

Posted 01 September 2009 - 06:57 PM

Most irritating thing to happen whilst reading this book: Arriving into the train station just as the Nah'Ruk were decending into midst of the bonehunters. I was almost willing to go to liverpool and get a train back so i could read the end. =>

I have to disagree with the Snake, because i knew it was going somewhere. Things like that always go somewhere with SE. Look how the Shake developed =P.
0

#12 User is offline   Powder 

  • Fist
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 215
  • Joined: 19-April 09
  • Location:NYC

Posted 01 September 2009 - 07:00 PM

View PostAptorian, on Sep 1 2009, 02:48 PM, said:

View PostPowder, on Sep 1 2009, 08:43 PM, said:

Best possible death scene:
Lostra Yil 'See me Dance'
Runner up QB melting faces only to raise his hands and catch... lightning?


They're so not dead.

Nobody is dead before you see their mangled corpse and you hear a description of their soul being inside Hoods warren.

You really think Quick got taken out that easy? I think he Veered into a weremole and tunneled down into Burns warren or something.

And the Adjunct can't possibly be dead, Lostara is to awesome a shadow dancer.



I agree that they probably are not, and even if they are, and they get past WJ into the realm of death, even then its possible to become not dead. Anyhow, I was thinking more along the lines of best cliffhanger, because we do not really know what happened to them.
0

#13 User is offline   Aptorian 

  • How 'bout a hug?
  • Group: The Wheelchairs of War
  • Posts: 24,785
  • Joined: 22-May 06

Posted 01 September 2009 - 07:00 PM

The shake would have been more interesting if they'd been prosecuted and hunted by Edur for their bloodline during RG, as it is, they're just a random people who went on a trip for no specific reason and found some place they are all going to be miserable living in.
0

#14 User is offline   ISTN4249 

  • Sergeant
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 92
  • Joined: 17-May 09

Posted 01 September 2009 - 07:21 PM

yeah buts its been so long that the Shake dont even know who they are...so it stands that the Edur wouldn't remember either. Hell I think its super fucking interesting that they are the original bloodline of the Edur and not the other way around...that and their original bloodline were supreme badasses that literally held the Shore against the encroachment of Light.

thats fucking sweet
0

#15 User is offline   SporadicSmiles 

  • Recruit
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 20
  • Joined: 01-September 09

Posted 01 September 2009 - 07:28 PM

Yeah i saw it similarly, The Edur don't seem to recall hugely much in general about their past, (for the most part i havent read MT in a while). The purged the edur they found because they were enslaved.

The comment on the shake was made because i get the feeling that their developement has been slow but interesting. That you actually have learnt something about the malazan world overall from their storylines. The same will be true for the Snake. Rhyming people to death, priceless!

See, it wasnt just readers irritated by incessant verse, FA cant stand it either.
0

#16 User is offline   Illuyankas 

  • Retro Classic
  • Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
  • Posts: 7,254
  • Joined: 28-September 04
  • Will cluck you up

Posted 01 September 2009 - 07:32 PM

No, no, no. The Quitters and Badalle had a rap battle, and the Quitters got served. Hard.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
1

#17 User is offline   SporadicSmiles 

  • Recruit
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 20
  • Joined: 01-September 09

Posted 01 September 2009 - 07:34 PM

LOL.

okay that has completely changed that scene on the reread thanks.

Oh how could we not give a big mention to

Best weird Jazz band: Goes to those craaaaaaazy undead jaghut. I liked them.
0

#18 User is offline   Pig Iron 

  • First Sword
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 528
  • Joined: 12-May 08

Posted 01 September 2009 - 09:04 PM

Nice thread. Awesome, really awesome book.

Nep Furrow could be in there as a nomination for Comic Relief. And the fourteen Monty Python though somewhat sinister wisecracking Jaghut.

View PostIlluyankas, on Sep 1 2009, 09:32 PM, said:

No, no, no. The Quitters and Badalle had a rap battle, and the Quitters got served. Hard.


Nice. Was a suprise that the FA could assume human form and one even referred to another as a "woman"? Intriguing. Thought the Quitters (Inquisitors) were Liosan first. And Badalle's going to hurt them more ...

Best Dramatic Delivery: the way you finally got Tavore's intention to free the CG (though heavily hinted at before) revealed by Masan Guilani off-handedly while drunk as a matter of fact response to Sinter's question.
0

#19 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

  • Believer
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 8,049
  • Joined: 30-June 08
  • Location:Indianapolis
  • Interests:Football

Posted 01 September 2009 - 09:06 PM

I'm under the assumption that the Quitters were "The Inquisitors", and thus Tiste Liosan. There is a partnership in Kolanse between the FA and Liosan as to the "judgment" of Kaminsod.
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
0

#20 User is offline   ISTN4249 

  • Sergeant
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 92
  • Joined: 17-May 09

Posted 01 September 2009 - 10:41 PM

View PostHoosierDaddy, on Sep 1 2009, 05:06 PM, said:

I'm under the assumption that the Quitters were "The Inquisitors", and thus Tiste Liosan. There is a partnership in Kolanse between the FA and Liosan as to the "judgment" of Kaminsod.

pretty sure the Inquisitors are Forkrul Assail. at least thats what I got out of the little FA girl's small POV
0

Share this topic:


  • 3 Pages +
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

1 User(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users