[Ulrik]

"Being optimistic´s worthless if it means ignoring the suffering of this world. Worse than worthless. It´s bloody evil.

- Fiddler

If can someone fill rest of the monologue, Ill be glad, my copy DoD is hundred miles away now...

[Sorry]

One of the best dialogs...
"Well done, Bugg. Now then, since I hear the Malazan entourage on it's way in the hallway beyond: Brys, how big do you want to make your escort?"
"Two brigades and two battalions, sire."
"Is that reasonable?" Tehol asked, looking round.
"I have no idea," Janath replied. "Bugg?"
"I'm no general, my Queen."
"We need an expert opinion, then," said Tehol. "Brys?"

Page 168

[Bapop]

Sorry, on 21 September 2009 - 10:03 PM, said:

One of the best dialogs...
"Well done, Bugg. Now then, since I hear the Malazan entourage on it's way in the hallway beyond: Brys, how big do you want to make your escort?"
"Two brigades and two battalions, sire."
"Is that reasonable?" Tehol asked, looking round.
"I have no idea," Janath replied. "Bugg?"
"I'm no general, my Queen."
"We need an expert opinion, then," said Tehol. "Brys?"

Page 168

I second this one. It made me laugh for several minutes

[Toc]

Bapop, on 05 November 2009 - 09:14 PM, said:

Sorry, on 21 September 2009 - 10:03 PM, said:

One of the best dialogs...
"Well done, Bugg. Now then, since I hear the Malazan entourage on it's way in the hallway beyond: Brys, how big do you want to make your escort?"
"Two brigades and two battalions, sire."
"Is that reasonable?" Tehol asked, looking round.
"I have no idea," Janath replied. "Bugg?"
"I'm no general, my Queen."
"We need an expert opinion, then," said Tehol. "Brys?"

Page 168

I second this one. It made me laugh for several minutes

Third'ed


Some of my favorites~

"'What are you doing with those heavies, Reliko?'
'Why, cos I am one, sir.'
Watching this, Smiles snorted. The top of Reliko's gnarly head barely reached her shoulder. The man looked like a prune with arms and legs."

Painted quite a hilarious picture in my head, Reliko in the frontline of a battle.


"'What have you got to be impatient about, soldier?'
Bottle flinched. 'Sorry. Nothing.'
'Most impatient people I meet are just like that, once you kick through all the attitude. They're in a lather, in a hurry about nothing. The rush is in their heads, and they expect everyone else to up the pace and get the fuck on with it. I got no time for such shits.'"

A brilliant quote. Made Deadsmell awesome in my eyes, although Bottle's come-back is brilliant aswell.

"'They make you impatient, do they?'"


"Hellian scowled. 'Who am I? Damned if I know. And does it even matter? Gods, I'm sober. Who did that to me?' She glared at Skulldeath.
'You? Bastard!'"

No explanation needed

[Puck]

Banaschar:

'Listen, if life is a joke, what kind of joke? The funny ha ha kind? Or the "I'm going to puke" kind? Is it a clever joke or a stupid one that's repeated over and over again so that even if it was funny to begin with it's not funny any more? Is it the kind of joke to make you laugh or make you cry? How many other ways can I ask this simple question?'


Made me laugh, Keneb and Fiddler:

'Very well. Go into the command tent and bring me the map.'
'Aye sir. You want the table with it?'
'No, that won't be necessary.'
As the soldier walked off, Fiddler said, 'Coulda been there and back by now, sir. All by yourself.'
'I could have, yes. And just for that observation, Sergeant, go and get that map-table for me.'
'Thought it wasn't necessary, sir?'
'I changed my mind. On your feet.'


Also very cool, Silchas about trusting Olar Ethil:

'I'd rather bed an En'karal.'

This post has been edited by Puck: 15 November 2009 - 04:30 PM

[Mezla PigDog]

After Tool had been re-reanimated (or should that be re-undeaded?):

"He had a people to kill"

Not a person or some people, a whole people! Nowhere else other than Malazan.

This post has been edited by Mezla PigDog: 15 November 2009 - 07:14 PM

[Knight of Darkness]

Some of my favorites that haven't already been mentioned:

"One salvo when I say so and then we retreat and if the Letherii are sharp, they'll make room for us! If they don't, then swing to the right - to the right, got it? And run like Hood himself is on your heels!"
"Commander!" someone cried out.
"What?"
"Who's Hood?"
Gods below. "He's just the guy you don't want on your heels, right?"
"Oh. Right"

A concussion shook the very air, but it came from the Nah'ruk lines. A billowing black cloud rose like a stain of spilled ink.
"Gods, what was that?"
Hedge's grin broadened. "That, soldiers, was Quick Ben"

"Withal, listen well. Ready a weapon-"
"A weapon? What kind of weapon?"
"Wrong choice. Find another one."
"What?"
"Stupidity won't work. Try that mace on your belt."
"That's a smith's hammer-"
"And you're a smith, so presumably you know how to use it."
"So long as my victim lays his head on an anvil, aye."

[Ain't_It_Just_]

ISTN4249, on 27 August 2009 - 01:28 AM, said:

the whole exchange between Tarr and Pores after Tarr eats a whole wad of Rylig is pretty funny. my fav line exchange is

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Pores studied the man's now glittering eyesm the sudden cascade of jumpy twiches on his face. 'You sure you're supposed to chew the whole wad, Corporal'?

'You m-may have a p-p-p-point theh-theh-there.'

'Spit it ow-ow-out, Corporal, before your head explodes.'

'Ccccandoat, Mas-Mas-mmmmmfuckface. Spenspenspensive-'<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

"Spine? I'm a f-f-fucking tree."

Oh yeah, and "HAIL THE MARINES!" Boo-yah!

[WhiskeyJackDaniels]

Just finished the book last night. One of my favorites...

"Well, I don't know, Ebron. It depends. I mean, are they real or Soletaken?"

[Bauchelain the Evil]

I have to agree that made me laugh.

Another one:

"He's got an Eye on a door" referring to the Errant eye on the Azath used to block the short-tail's sky keeps

[Hops]

WhiskeyJackDaniels, on 28 December 2009 - 08:28 PM, said:

Just finished the book last night. One of my favorites...

"Well, I don't know, Ebron. It depends. I mean, are they real or Soletaken?"

Page 171 immediately before this passage where Bottle, Deadsmell and Ebron get together for there little mage meet,-
'Just Quick Ben, then.'
'He'll complain enough for the both of them,' Deadsmell nodded.
'Just how nasty is he?' Ebron asked Bottle.
'Quick? Well, he gave a dragon a bloody nose.'
'A real dragon or a Soletaken dragon?'
'It makes no difference, Ebron - you pretty much can't tell just from looking at them. You'll only know a Soletaken when it veers.
Anyway don't forget he faced down the Edur mages once we quit Seven Cities.'
'That was illusion.'
"Ebron, I was in on that - a lot closer than you. Sure maybe it was illusion, but maybe not.'

I liked this conversation as it just solidifies QB's mysteriousness as the squad mages aren't even aware of how much of a grunt box he is. God if only they knew the shit he got up too before spoiling Silcha's shopping trip to Letharas.

Another quote i liked,
Page 843 - Hedge's thought "Fuck you, Quick - This aint Pale, you know! And you aint Tayschrenn! Echoing QB's own sentiments but for a slightly different reason.

[K'Chain Bull'shite]

Telorast and Curdle:

Quote

"We need to find him a woman."
"Or a child to eat."
"They don't eat children, Curdle."
"Well, some other kind of treat, then."

[Hetan]

This bit also made me giggle... particularly the very last bit for some reason.

Quote

"I'm going to piss, and maybe whatever else I can manage. If we're going to end up in a hoary mess, I don't want fouled breeches, not stuck in a saddle, not riding with a horde of shrieking demons on my tail. Besides, I probably only have a few moments of living left to me. When I go I plan on doing it clean."
"Just blood and guts."
"Right."
"That's pathetic. As if you'll care."
He went off to find somewhere private.
"Don't take too long!" she shouted after him.
There was a time, aye, when I could take as damned well long as I pleased.

He returned and would have climbed back into the saddle, but Sandalath insisted he wash his hands in the sea.

[waylander001]

ISTN4249, on 27 August 2009 - 01:28 AM, said:

the whole exchange between Tarr and Pores after Tarr eats a whole wad of Rylig is pretty funny. my fav line exchange is

<!--quoteo--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE </div><div class='quotemain'><!--quotec-->Pores studied the man's now glittering eyesm the sudden cascade of jumpy twiches on his face. 'You sure you're supposed to chew the whole wad, Corporal'?

'You m-may have a p-p-p-point theh-theh-there.'

'Spit it ow-ow-out, Corporal, before your head explodes.'

'Ccccandoat, Mas-Mas-mmmmmfuckface. Spenspenspensive-'<!--QuoteEnd--></div><!--QuoteEEnd-->

PRETTY funny??? I laughed so hard my girlfriend slapped me for waking her up at this point .... and i wasnt even in the same room as her lol

This post has been edited by waylander001: 06 January 2010 - 06:25 PM

[Sinisdar Toste]

i like how he just gives up trying to say master sargeant and calls pores fuckface

[K'Chain Bull'shite]

All of the scenes with the undead Jaghut are brilliant, imo. A sampling:

Quote

"A thought has occurred to me, Captain."
She smiled. "Go on."
"If the T'lan Imass, who waged war against the Jaghut, were as pitiful as Suvalas suggests, why are there no Jaghut left?"
No-one arrived at an answer. Moments passed.
"We need to make ourselves scarce," Haut repeated. And then he laughed.
The others joined in. Even Suvalas.
Captain Varandas nodded. So many things were a delight, weren't they? All these awkward emotions, such as humility, confusion and unease. To feel them again, to laugh at their inherent absurdity, mocking every survival instinct – as if she and her companions still lived. As if they still had something to lose. As if the past was worth recreating here in the present. "As if," she added mostly to herself, "old grudges were worth holding on to." She grunted, and then said, "We shall march east."
"Why east?" Gedoran demanded.
"Because I feel like it, lieutenant. Into the birth of the sun, the shadows on our trail, a new day ever ahead." She tilted back her head. "Hah hah hah hah hah!"

Awesome

Quote

One spoke. "What was that war again?"
The others laughed.
The first one continued, "Who was that enemy?"
The laughter this time was louder, longer.
"Who was our commander?"
Heads rocked back and the thirteen roared with mirth.
The first speaker shouted, "Does he live? Do we?"
Hood slowly rose from the throne, melted ice streaming down his blackened hide. He stood, and eventually the laughter fell away. He took one step forward, and then another.
The fourteen warriors did not move.
Hood lowered to one knee, head bowing. "I seek … penance."
A warrior far to the right said, "Gathras, he seeks penance. Do you hear that?"
The first speaker replied. "I do, Sanad."
"Shall we give it, Gathras?" another asked.
"Varandas, I believe we shall."
"Gathras."
"Yes, Haut?"
"What was that war again?"
The Jaghut howled.

Does he live? Do we?

I just LOVE these guys

This post has been edited by Bre'nigan: 08 January 2010 - 05:55 PM

[waylander001]

Sinisdar Toste, on 06 January 2010 - 06:49 PM, said:

i like how he just gives up trying to say master sargeant and calls pores fuckface

that part of the book on the barge when we see Tarr and the other Marines just "being" was such a pivotal point in the book for me - i think i realised at that point that they were about to get their absolute shit kicked in..

..and this particular scene with Tarr though! it helped remind me of the brilliance of Erikson and why I love his writing, and how he's able to draw such strong emotions from me - i mean dragging me from the absolute shock/dismay of seing the hobbling of Hetan to a point where i honestly cant stop laughing at the antics of a Marine, you cant ask for any more from your author can you

[Lucky Revenant]

Man, everyone else keeps posting these funny one-liners. Some of which I'd forgotten haha

Well, here's one of my favourites: 

"And this, she now realised, was the reason why the gods did nothing. Proof of their omniscience. After all, to act was to announce awful limitations, for it revealed that chance acted first, the accidents were just that—events beyond the will of the gods—and all they could do in answer was to attempt to remedy the consequences, to alter natural ends. To act, then, was an admission of fallibility."

I think I paraphrased a bit. Can't remember. 




Oh, oops, I seem to have necro'd a bit. I apologise if that's looked down upon around here. I forgot to check time stamps.

This post has been edited by Lucky Revenant: 01 February 2010 - 02:21 AM

[HoosierDaddy]

20 days in a thread isn't a Necro, especially for the most recent release. Plus, more importantly, I started the topic and say have at it.

[MTS]

People only really get annoyed when they're 2 years+ old.