[Grimjust Bearegular]

Don't have any first borns lying around atm, so I better just wire you the money...Account information please?

Is it okay if I pass the information on to this Nigerian prince I know?..he's gonna cut me in on a sweet deal.

[Aptorian]

Quote

I've been a father for 9 years. When my daughter was a baby, she occasionally was very difficult to put to bed, and nothing her mom or I would do or say would comfort her. One tearful night, I took her in my arms, rocked her gently, and sang "Silent Night", the only song I could think of, since Christmas was around the corner.

Silent night, holy night All is calm, all is bright ...and so on

She fell right asleep in my arms within minutes. I was very happily surprised by the discovery of such powers.

For the rest of her infancy, I had "the magic touch", and her mother would hand her to me on those difficult nights. However, after she turned 3 years old, sleep came easier, and my services as the Sandman were no longer required. Just a simple "good night, I love you", and a kiss was all that was needed.

About two years ago, my wife died. The loss of one's mother is hard to take by any measure, but my daughter took it quite badly. She stopped talking, showed little emotion, and withdrew entirely. I did my best to bring my little daughter back, to help her grieve, but she was inconsolable. Bedtime was the worst, since it was only me wishing her goodnight, and there was empty silence where her mother's "good night, I love you" used to be.

One night, a few weeks later, my daughter broke the empty silence.

"Dad?..."

"Yes dear"

"..can you sing Silent Night for me?"

"Of course"

And I sang Silent Night to her in my cracking voice as best I could, as she soaked my shoulder with tears.

Silent night, holy night All is calm, all is bright

Then, I felt a sudden pain, and realized she had bitten into my shoulder. Shocked, I turned to her, and her eyes had turned red and beady, and her skin the texture of a lizard.

As her claws scratched at my face, she hissed, "You ignorant human! I killed your wife, and now I will kill you!!!"

I clamored to get away, but I was now pinned down by this ferocious creature.

Just at that moment, I heard a terrible crash, the ceiling fell around us, and a topless Scarlett Johansson with a badass frickin plasma cannon came blasting through the dust and debris. She blew away the creature/daughter with a single shot, vaporizing it, and grabbed me tight..

"Two to transport. NOW!"

We got the hell off that planet, and spent the next few days space fucking.

[Tiste Simeon]

Apt I'm trying to work out what that's from... Is it a film?

[MTS]

Hahaha that's brilliant.

[Mentalist]

Adjutant Stormy, on 26 February 2011 - 02:08 PM, said:

Wired is best, but first-borns are worth quite a bit on the black market....

amateur,


Grim, would you prefer to use Visa, MasterCard or Amex?

This post has been edited by Mentalist: 02 March 2011 - 12:15 AM

[Beezulbubba]

^^^ I thought this was a "quotes" thread (it certainly says that in the title).

[Aptorian]

Tiste Simeon, on 01 March 2011 - 11:21 PM, said:

Apt I'm trying to work out what that's from... Is it a film?

I think it's been done more than once in more than one medium. Anyway, this popped up in a random discussion on emotion and it was glorious.

[Grimjust Bearegular]

Mentalist, on 02 March 2011 - 12:14 AM, said:

Adjutant Stormy, on 26 February 2011 - 02:08 PM, said:

Wired is best, but first-borns are worth quite a bit on the black market....

amateur,


Grim, would you prefer to use Visa, MasterCard or Amex?

Visa, please:P

[Tiste Simeon]

Clockwork Apt, on 02 March 2011 - 04:26 AM, said:

Tiste Simeon, on 01 March 2011 - 11:21 PM, said:

Apt I'm trying to work out what that's from... Is it a film?

I think it's been done more than once in more than one medium. Anyway, this popped up in a random discussion on emotion and it was glorious.

Fair enough I thought it was hilarious too.

[Adjutant Stormy~]

Tiste Simeon, on 02 March 2011 - 07:59 PM, said:

Clockwork Apt, on 02 March 2011 - 04:26 AM, said:

Tiste Simeon, on 01 March 2011 - 11:21 PM, said:

Apt I'm trying to work out what that's from... Is it a film?

I think it's been done more than once in more than one medium. Anyway, this popped up in a random discussion on emotion and it was glorious.

Fair enough I thought it was hilarious too.

I WISH IT WAS A FILM.

But yeah, just interwebs talking.

[Tiste Simeon]

Adjutant Stormy, on 03 March 2011 - 09:55 AM, said:

Tiste Simeon, on 02 March 2011 - 07:59 PM, said:

Clockwork Apt, on 02 March 2011 - 04:26 AM, said:

Tiste Simeon, on 01 March 2011 - 11:21 PM, said:

Apt I'm trying to work out what that's from... Is it a film?

I think it's been done more than once in more than one medium. Anyway, this popped up in a random discussion on emotion and it was glorious.

Fair enough I thought it was hilarious too.

I WISH IT WAS A FILM.

But yeah, just interwebs talking.

Would watch that for sure...

[Gothos]

http://www.reddit.co...s_left_to_live/

this... I don't often feel moved, but this here... it's that sad heartwarming feeling. It's something special. I think my faith in humankind has been partially restored.

[Aptorian]

Gothos, on 07 March 2011 - 11:00 AM, said:

http://www.reddit.co...s_left_to_live/

this... I don't often feel moved, but this here... it's that sad heartwarming feeling. It's something special. I think my faith in humankind has been partially restored.

Actually I have never been more sick of peoples shallow sympathies. The whole thread is worth a discussion thread all of its own.

There are people in that thread who saying things like "I already miss you", "I love you", "This has reduced me to tears", bla bla. What a load of utter romantic bullshit.

Tomorrow (today) they will have forgot all about it, they'll probably not even send him a thought when he ends his life Tuesday.

[Gothos]

I mostly meant his replies, Apt.
But seriously, what you're saying is more than a bit cynical.
So they (whoa, generalizations, yay! that's so intellectual) will forget or have forgotten... fine, so fucking what? Nobody's expecting anyone to carry the grief with them their entire lives, especially for a stranger.
But who's to say if it's insincere because they won't? Society has become widely insensate, and when I see this - even in 1 in 100 people posting there means what they wrote - it's something good.
Now, I've been a cynical bastard for a long time, but I don't want to be. This is different from everyone suddenly becoming a lifelong fan when Jacko died. Care enough to talk to a complete stranger - I think that's a good start.

[Darkwatch]

From the Cracked topic on Love.

Quote

Types of love:

Platonic -- Non-sexual love between a woman who dates jerks and a wimp who worships her. His fear of rejection and her willful ignorance continue until one of them settles.

Source:
http://www.cracked.c...unny-4050-love/

[Mentalist]

A friend of mine mentioned the cancer thing on reddit today.

I don't get these "last cries for atention" things. sure, they show us how good and decent people may be to strangers, but waht exactly is the other person (the OP) trying to achieve, if not illicit sympathy?

I mean, it's a stone cold fact that prior to hm mentioning his situation, none of those people could've cared less about it, and tomorrow there will be tons of people like the OP, who continue dying without all those posters knowing (or caring)

As great as the compassion of the repliers to the thread may be, it is fleeting. and the people who start threads like those strike me as selfish, and all the more cowardly, b/c they need encouragement of strangers for what they've done,

[Adjutant Stormy~]

[pedantic bear]

Mentalist, on 10 March 2011 - 12:20 AM, said:

I don't get these "last cries for atention" things. sure, they show us how good and decent people may be to strangers, but waht exactly is the other person (the OP) trying to achieve, if not ellicit sympathy?

[/pedantic bear]

It just goes to show you that
1) people are willing to use any excuse to get attention, even their own impending demise (perhaps especially?). People, recursively, will use their sympathies or mock-sympathies to attempt to piggyback attention.
2) the same sense of complete interpersonal abstraction on the internet that allows /b/ to be the heartless, cruel, and hilarious place that it is allows people to shower platitudes and messages of hope completely void of actual contact and empathy.

This post has been edited by Adjutant Stormy: 10 March 2011 - 01:52 AM

[Aptorian]

Quote

“Breakfast is the only meal of the day that I tend to view with the same kind of traditionalized reverence that most people associate with Lunch and Dinner. I like to eat breakfast alone, and almost never before noon; anybody with a terminally jangled lifestyle needs at least one psychic anchor every twenty-four hours, and mine is breakfast. In Hong Kong, Dallas or at home — and regardless of whether or not I have been to bed — breakfast is a personal ritual that can only be properly observed alone, and in a spirit of genuine excess. The food factor should always be massive: four Bloody Marys, two grapefruits, a pot of coffee, Rangoon crepes, a half-pound of either sausage, bacon, or corned beef hash with diced chiles, a Spanish omelette or eggs Benedict, a quart of milk, a chopped lemon for random seasoning, and something like a slice of Key lime pie, two margaritas, and six lines of the best cocaine for dessert… Right, and there should also be two or three newspapers, all mail and messages, a telephone, a notebook for planning the next twenty-four hours and at least one source of good music… All of which should be dealt with outside, in the warmth of a hot sun, and preferably stone naked.”

- Hunter S. Thompson

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

Clockwork Apt, on 10 March 2011 - 05:08 PM, said:

Quote

“Breakfast is the only meal of the day that I tend to view with the same kind of traditionalized reverence that most people associate with Lunch and Dinner. I like to eat breakfast alone, and almost never before noon; anybody with a terminally jangled lifestyle needs at least one psychic anchor every twenty-four hours, and mine is breakfast. In Hong Kong, Dallas or at home — and regardless of whether or not I have been to bed — breakfast is a personal ritual that can only be properly observed alone, and in a spirit of genuine excess. The food factor should always be massive: four Bloody Marys, two grapefruits, a pot of coffee, Rangoon crepes, a half-pound of either sausage, bacon, or corned beef hash with diced chiles, a Spanish omelette or eggs Benedict, a quart of milk, a chopped lemon for random seasoning, and something like a slice of Key lime pie, two margaritas, and six lines of the best cocaine for dessert… Right, and there should also be two or three newspapers, all mail and messages, a telephone, a notebook for planning the next twenty-four hours and at least one source of good music… All of which should be dealt with outside, in the warmth of a hot sun, and preferably stone naked.”

- Hunter S. Thompson

The man knew how to live hard. To this day his death is the only celebrity death that ever had an emotional impact on me.

[Beezulbubba]

"Be just and if you can't be just, be arbitrary" - William S. Burroughs

* http://www.brainyquo..._burroughs.html

This post has been edited by Buttstad Cheekhammer: 11 March 2011 - 03:45 AM