I am eating BACON CANDY!

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I am eating BACON CANDY! HALLELUJA!

#1 Aptorian

How 'bout a hug?

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Posted 17 June 2009 - 03:25 PM

So I was looking for something to eat in the local supermarket when I saw it. It was just lying there among the other cold sliced meats and sausages. I nearly didn't notice it, but something... maybe an angel... made me look closer. It was in fact, a package with small slivers of fried bacon. Well, I was naturally both over joyed and in shock, I almost had to contact the manager and complain that they hadn't dedicated an entire isle to this heavenly meat.

So I brought it home, and of course forgot everything else for the time being. Opening the seal released a heavenly sent of bacon. A taste revealed a dry but delicious texture. Now it said on the package that it was ment to added to other dishes... like vegetarian salats, but I knew that this was in fact meat candy.

Well, at first taste, it was a bit dry, but then another epiphany hit me. The micro wave. Normally I wouldn't let this radioactive monster near such a delight, but I knew that this might do the trick. I gave the little bacon slices 20 seconds and they came out PERFECT! Still crisp but just slightly moist aswell and just the right temperature. Hot on the tongue but not burning.

I was so pleased with myself I had to crack open a can of Tuborg Gold and just lay back in the sofa to fully enjoy the experience.

OH THE BACON GOODNESS!

#2 Bhurnae

Close to the hedge.........

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Posted 17 June 2009 - 03:33 PM

Hail to the Bacon!!

Mezla PigDog, on 28 September 2009 - 09:34 PM, said:

I have been entertaining tourists for many years now.... A girls gotta make a living.

#3 Zanth13

We are not the same

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Posted 17 June 2009 - 03:35 PM

Is he dead yet?

You can't find me because I'm lost in the music

#4 Aptorian

How 'bout a hug?

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Posted 17 June 2009 - 03:40 PM

I am actually feeling slightly Ill now... so much salt.

Need another beer.

#5 caladanbrood

Ugly on the Inside

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Posted 17 June 2009 - 03:52 PM

Aptorian, on Jun 17 2009, 04:25 PM, said:

I almost had to contact the manager and complain that they hadn't dedicated an entire isle to this heavenly meat.

A whole island for bacon, in every store. Guarded by flying pigs with lazers. This is an excellent plan.

O xein', angellein Lakedaimoniois hoti têde; keimetha tois keinon rhémasi peithomenoi.

#6 bwgan

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Posted 17 June 2009 - 03:52 PM

Bacon bites...that's what you are talking about, right? I often cook chopped up bacon, then store it so that I can nibble on it, or add it to beans (especially with cheese and mushrooms - no I am not cordon bleu trained) or other meals. No need to buy it!

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The Imass shrugged before replying. 'I think of Mafia, Adjunct.'
'Do all Imass think about Mafia?'
'No. Few think at all.'
'Why is that?'
The Imass leaned his head to one side and regarded her. 'Because, Adjunct, they are sheeple.'

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#7 Abyss

abyssus abyssum invocat

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Posted 17 June 2009 - 04:36 PM

I, for one, WELCOME our bacon candy overlords and...

- Abyss, ...oh screw it, i have to go shopping for this stuff stat...

THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT

#8 teholbeddict

Drinking Queen of the Abyssmal Army!!!

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Posted 17 June 2009 - 05:23 PM

These little bites of heaven sound absolutely delightful! I wonder if they're available in Canadaland....

Procrastination is like masturbation, you're only F ing yourself...
-Bubbalicious -

Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable… Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.
- Martin Luther King, Jr-

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-Stone Monkey-

Muffins are just ugly cupcakes!
-Zanth13-

#9 bwgan

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Posted 17 June 2009 - 05:30 PM

But, but, if I can make them anyone can...no need to buy!

#10 teholbeddict

Drinking Queen of the Abyssmal Army!!!

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Posted 17 June 2009 - 07:35 PM

bwgan, on Jun 17 2009, 12:30 PM, said:

But, but, if I can make them anyone can...no need to buy!

This is true my dear! I will give it a try this weekend.

#11 alestar

Fist

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Posted 17 June 2009 - 08:40 PM

bacon...washed down with beer...a perfect union, indeed!

#12 Tiste Simeon

Faith, Heavy Metal & Bacon

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Posted 17 June 2009 - 10:08 PM

I'm drooling just reading your post... Dammit, I have no bacon nor beer in my fridge and the spar has just shut!

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A Haunting Poem
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You Scream
We all Scream
For I Scream.

#13 Gem Windcaster

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Posted 18 June 2009 - 12:40 AM

Darnit, now I'm hungry.

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invisible indifferent sight_

#14 Ain't_It_Just_

The Recidivist

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The AIJman cometh

Posted 18 June 2009 - 01:37 AM

DOESN'T EXIST DOESN'T EXIST DOESN'T EXIST DOESN'T EXIST DOESN'T EXIST

CAKE 4 EVA

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAB

-AIJ, furious at this betrayal

Suck it Errant!

"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."

QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.

#15 Grimjust Bearegular

Irregular Bacon Berserker Medic of the Abyssmal Army

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Also, braaaaiiiinnnnzzzzzzzz!

Posted 18 June 2009 - 01:37 PM

Ain't_It_Just_, on Jun 18 2009, 01:37 AM, said:

DOESN'T EXIST DOESN'T EXIST DOESN'T EXIST DOESN'T EXIST DOESN'T EXIST

CAKE 4 EVA

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAB

-AIJ, furious at this betrayal

the Cake is a LIE!

Come over to the bacon side, we have bacon...

Things and stuffs...and other important objects.

#16 cerveza_fiesta

Outdoor Tractivities !

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Posted 18 June 2009 - 06:02 PM

sounds very yummy.

I've been known to eat fake bacon (facon) bits just for that hint of salty bacon artificial flavour.

I understand your weakness fully.

........oOOOOOo
......//| | |oO
.....|| | | | O....BEERS!
......\\| | | |
........'-----'

#17 Leo

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Posted 18 June 2009 - 07:01 PM

Quote

the Cake is a LIE!

A sad truth*... but here's a happy one: Apt has discovered the existance of bacon candy. I was going to make a comparison, but I don't know what could possibly compare to that. What's the name of them? I want to see if I can get my hands on any, since I'm too lazy to make them myself.

_{*Bloody singing robot...}

#18 Sinisdar Toste

Dead Serious

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Posted 19 June 2009 - 12:44 AM

i put this shit on my baked potatoes bitches. real bacon, none of this pussy ass facon shit, then i pour a full bottle of bakon original bacon flavoured vodka over the potatoe and light it on fire to throw through windows. works pretty much the same as a molotov. add a real canadian potatoe gun to the equation and im taking out 747's from my front lawn.
i'm training a company of young recruits in a martial discipline centered around this potatoe grenade technique at the moment. should the revolution ever come and the madness of bacon-hate seize the globe we'll go down in a delicious blaze of glory. LONG LIVE SACRED BACON!!!!!

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

- Oscar Levant

#19 Slow Ben

Ranger

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Posted 19 June 2009 - 01:12 AM

Gawd, I love bacon.

Its just flat friggin perfect.

I've always been crazy but its kept me from going insane.

#20 Ain't_It_Just_

The Recidivist

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Interests:Dungeons and Dragons, and the odd caramel slice.
The AIJman cometh

Posted 19 June 2009 - 01:00 PM

Grimhilde, on Jun 18 2009, 11:37 PM, said:

Ain't_It_Just_, on Jun 18 2009, 01:37 AM, said:

DOESN'T EXIST DOESN'T EXIST DOESN'T EXIST DOESN'T EXIST DOESN'T EXIST

CAKE 4 EVA

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAB

-AIJ, furious at this betrayal

the Cake is a LIE!

Come over to the bacon side, we have bacon...

THE CAKE IS NOT A LIE

AND EVEN IF IT WAS THERE ARE STILL CUPCAKES

CUPCAKES ARE STRICTLY NOT CAKES

WITH THEIR COLOURED WRAPPING

AND SIX-PACK CAPABILITIES

HOW CONVENIENT

YES

Suck it Errant!

"It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum...and I'm all out of gum."

QUOTE (KeithF @ Jun 30 2009, 09:49 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It has been proven beyond all reasonable doubt that the most powerful force on Wu is a bunch of messed-up Malazans with Moranth munitions.