Malazan Empire: I'm trying to provoke a frontier war with Guilder - Malazan Empire

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I'm trying to provoke a frontier war with Guilder anyone interested in helping out?

#1 User is offline   Stalker 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 12:25 AM

Hey people, I'm Vizzini and I am a genius trying to start a war.

I need help, preferably from a giant of a man and a trained swordsman seeking revenge, but anyone would do.

Let me know.
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#2 User is offline   Illuyankas 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 12:27 AM

Hardly the most clandestine way of performing your secret orders, Sicilian.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. I’m on a quorl.
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#3 User is offline   Bent 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 12:28 AM

Well, you see, there is this secret hideaway that I call "THE PIT OF DESPAIR", that might come in handy. Its more of a "ROOM OF DESPAIR" really, but well, pit just sounds so much more sinister, dont ya think?
THIS IS HOW I ROLL BITCHES!!!
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#4 User is offline   Sindriss 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 12:30 AM

Is this some sort of mafia inside joke?

Quote

I would like to know if Steve have ever tasted anything like the quorl white milk, that knocked the bb's out.

A: Nope, but I gots me a good imagination.
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#5 User is offline   Stalker 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 12:30 AM

Well that is nice, pits of despair are always fun.

hey I'm trying to build up immunity to iocane powder, hear that is lethal stuff there.
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#6 User is offline   Stalker 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 12:31 AM

View PostSindriss, on Mar 3 2009, 07:30 PM, said:

Is this some sort of mafia inside joke?



Joke? I take trying to start a war very seriously.

(Watch the Princess Bride, you will understand)
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#7 User is offline   Bent 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 12:32 AM

View PostSindriss, on Mar 3 2009, 07:30 PM, said:

Is this some sort of mafia inside joke?


OY! its a dragon! hey little dragon, want to see my "machine"?
THIS IS HOW I ROLL BITCHES!!!
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#8 User is offline   Sinisdar Toste 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 12:35 AM

you have my shark-riding-tommy gun-wielding-cigar smoking grizzly bear

This post has been edited by Sinisdar Toste: 04 March 2009 - 12:36 AM

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

- Oscar Levant
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#9 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 12:45 AM

How much are the wages? There's not a lot of money in revenge.

Fezik Luxury Yacht usually visits later in the day...

This post has been edited by Inigo Montoya: 04 March 2009 - 12:56 AM

Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
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#10 User is offline   bubba 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 12:58 AM

Do your worst!!!!!! I can take.....I will only whimper a little bit

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#11 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 01:00 AM

:p

I'm sure the Albino would hate to kill you.

This post has been edited by Inigo Montoya: 04 March 2009 - 01:01 AM

Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
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#12 User is offline   stone monkey 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 01:00 AM

@ ST - You could read the book, it's much better. And that's saying a lot.
If an opinion contrary to your own makes you angry, that is a sign that you are subconsciously aware of having no good reason for thinking as you do. If some one maintains that two and two are five, or that Iceland is on the equator, you feel pity rather than anger, unless you know so little of arithmetic or geography that his opinion shakes your own contrary conviction. … So whenever you find yourself getting angry about a difference of opinion, be on your guard; you will probably find, on examination, that your belief is going beyond what the evidence warrants. Bertrand Russell
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#13 User is offline   bubba 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 01:04 AM

View PostInigo Montoya, on Mar 3 2009, 08:00 PM, said:

:p

I'm sure the Albino would hate to kill you.


i'm only mostly dead

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#14 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 01:06 AM

A learned man. Tell me have you studied Agrippa?
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
0

#15 User is offline   bubba 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 01:15 AM

View PostInigo Montoya, on Mar 3 2009, 08:06 PM, said:

A learned man. Tell me have you studied Agrippa?


Right after Thibault, Capa Ferro, and Bonetti....then on too....well I can't give all my secrets away.

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#16 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 01:20 AM

You are wonderful!
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
0

#17 User is offline   bubba 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 01:23 AM

Thank you; I've worked hard to become so.

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#18 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 01:24 AM

I admit it. You are better than I.
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
0

#19 User is offline   bubba 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 01:25 AM

View PostInigo Montoya, on Mar 3 2009, 08:24 PM, said:

I admit it. You are better than I.


Then why are you smiling?

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#20 User is offline   HoosierDaddy 

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 01:26 AM

View PostWestly(Non-Crusher), on Mar 3 2009, 08:25 PM, said:

View PostInigo Montoya, on Mar 3 2009, 08:24 PM, said:

I admit it. You are better than I.


Then why are you smiling?


Because I know something that you don't know.
Trouble arrives when the opponents to such a system institute its extreme opposite, where individualism becomes godlike and sacrosanct, and no greater service to any other ideal (including community) is possible. In such a system rapacious greed thrives behind the guise of freedom, and the worst aspects of human nature come to the fore....
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