[bubba]

Sweet mother of God!!!!

[Zanth13]

oh cool, i want one... wait, i want nothing less then my own Iron-Man suit...I would stay in forever for one of thoughs...

[Zanth13]

I recently came across an old poem I wrote when I was 19, its a very disturbing piece of writing. Barely a poem because such things are not my strong point, but I tried. And It makes me realize that life is proportionate ... shit maybe what I am saying is that a person's life experience is equal to themselves what everyone else has experienced regardless of circumstances? does that make sense, what I'm saying is I wrote this at 19, and the 23 year old looking back thinks that my old self had no reason to write with so much anger...or depression, my younger self hadn't felt shit yet.. at least according to my current persona. so i guess your perspective means everything, because looking back I wish I could tell my younger self to buck up and get ready because it gets worse.

I wrote this before my first deployment to Iraq. How could I be that upset,before I'd experienced anything, is what I'm wondering, since then Ive probably witnessed close to a hundred people die, had men die in my hands, seen kids die in front of there parents, told people there best friend didn't make it, had friends slaughtered and maimed in the streets with no justice to ever be seen, and yet I had the audacity to write about pain before all of that, I don't understand myself or human psyche in general I guess.

The old poem

Quote

I feel alone in all this darkness
I feel my soul reaching out but it s hopeless
I feel like nothing can penetrate my empty heart
I feel like nothing can stop loneliness from tearing me apart
The only thing that anchors me in this world is my responsibilities
To these mutha fuckers who don’t seem to give a God damn about me
I’ve become a sad reflection of a man
One who wipes his emotions away with his hand
With this hand he lifts a cup
Till he’s fucked all his feelings up
In this cup of the devils drink
Every night his life is put on the brink
When all this chaos makes him choke
He prays that someone will bring him hope

anyway I'm writing just to understand myself, I put this in my home because people rarely visit here... if you made it this far, my story that has been published before about some of my experience can be found here, which as it is written after the fact is more understandable for a person to feel.

http://ravingdove.or...ersummer08.html

just some useless ramblings I needed to put somewhere, might as well go in my home thread. oh and I am actually a happy person...trust me.

[Ain't_It_Just_]

Somebody needs a hug...

[Zanth13]

lol, no im fine, just pondering, Cold Iron's thread about God and Self had me thinking is all...

and maybe Jager had me thinking aswell