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Mafia posts hall of fame for the truly addicted

#21 User is offline   Macros 

  • D'ivers Fuckwits
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Posted 07 November 2008 - 09:06 PM

aw you got me all nostalgic, im browsing all the old spoiler threads, I was a mess that weekend, some of my pms are just
ugh

my favourite formth e whole spoiler board:

jump around, on gets hit by my counter reveal, said:

Well, fuck me.

What WERE the odds of that???


aha, ah
ahahahahahaah
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
~twirls monical~

oh, it continues to please me still:

ja unpon his arrival in spoiler heaven said:

OK, who's the moron who killed me? Ishael or Macros?

Fuck, whoever it was that was so dumb. I guess that's why I'm a molecular biologist, not a psychologist.

Reading the spoilers now.

This post has been edited by Macros: 07 November 2008 - 09:19 PM

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#22 User is offline   Bent 

  • Keep Rolling...
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  • Interests:POOP!

Posted 16 January 2009 - 02:10 PM

View PostBubba, on Jan 15 2009, 10:53 AM, said:

dam whut was i thinkin.....remove vote/vote JA



View PostVengeance, on Jan 15 2009, 10:56 AM, said:

View PostBubba, on Jan 15 2009, 09:53 AM, said:

dam whut was i thinkin.....remove vote/vote JA


I can't see him. As such he must be Lex Luther and hiding from me.


Remove vote

Vote JA




View PostTapper, on Jan 15 2009, 11:01 AM, said:

View Postalt146, on Jan 15 2009, 04:59 PM, said:

View PostVengeance, on Jan 15 2009, 05:56 PM, said:

View PostBubba, on Jan 15 2009, 09:53 AM, said:

dam whut was i thinkin.....remove vote/vote JA


I can't see him. As such he must be Lex Luther and hiding from me.


Remove vote

Vote JA



Perhaps you should turn off your xray and stop looking THROUGH him.

All who agree with this motion, say Aye.

Remove vote
vote JA




View Postalt146, on Jan 15 2009, 11:07 AM, said:

View PostVengeance, on Jan 15 2009, 06:02 PM, said:

View Postalt146, on Jan 15 2009, 09:59 AM, said:

View PostVengeance, on Jan 15 2009, 05:56 PM, said:

View PostBubba, on Jan 15 2009, 09:53 AM, said:

dam whut was i thinkin.....remove vote/vote JA


I can't see him. As such he must be Lex Luther and hiding from me.


Remove vote

Vote JA



Perhaps you should turn off your xray and stop looking THROUGH him.

All who agree with this motion, say Aye.


Har, har, har.... He is obviously hiding behind lead walls. All who do not vote for Lex Luther are obviously in league with him. Father surly you can see the evil that lies in lex Luther's heart.


He's not Lex Luthor, he's my greatest political opponent - Jeremy Clarkson!

vote JA



View PostHugin & Munin, on Jan 15 2009, 11:07 AM, said:

"Where is Lois anyway? She swore she would be here." said Vengeance looking at his watch.

"Ah you are maried my son?" asked bent from his padded seat. "Marriage is a holy sacrement."

"Er, no, i just have relations with her, at super speed. She said she would be at the dentist, but i checked there just a second ago and she still hasnt arrived."

"Yo bitch is bouncing on my -" started bubba before bent hit him with an imaginary crook.

Jump around and lisheo, both comatose oin their chairs look on in bewilderment as Drinksinbars suddenly walks in pulls out a forty five and shoots jump around once in the head. He lifts his wrist and looks at his watch to see it says 3.15 and says "damnit hes no spook" before rolling the dice ont he table.

Seven people lean over the big table in the middle of the room and read different numbers on the die.

"Damn those drugs are good for the economy," says alt.

IT IS NOW NIGHT

Jump around has been killed, he was a patient.

Please send in your two numbers for tomorrow and any actions for this period of time.


3 hours into day 1 JA gets lynched in an altless game. Poor JA. HA!
THIS IS HOW I ROLL BITCHES!!!
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#23 User is offline   alt146 

  • Here comes the Strongbad!
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Posted 17 January 2009 - 08:17 PM

I know I wrote most of these, but I think they should be here, since most of the people playing really enjoyed them :harhar:

View PostPath-Shaper, on Nov 25 2008, 10:07 AM, said:

A rather timid looking townsperson gazes myopically a streetside stall. He rather indiscreetly scratches at a rather discrete region while trying to remember if the pus yellow fungus made him more or less sick than the puke green one, since noone seemed to have any of the snot grey.

The slapping of sandals makes him spin around, as a bedraggled, beleaguered and all together out-of-sorts looking man runs past. The bystander is then quite unceremoniously knocked over by a large crowd carrying various farm implements, several lengths of hanging cord and, inexplicably, a baguette. Crawling through the crowd in the faint hope of actually eating some bread, he overhear's cries of "Him and Rashan must be lover-killers!", "The PAF does not condone behavior of this kind!", "Are we chasing the squiggly blue line guy?" and "Spammers must die! Low posters too! And middle posters, just to safe." .

Someone stands on the bystander's fingers as the crowd slowly converges on the runner. Just then the runner throws his robe into the air, revealing machetes, knives, crossbows, a longsword and something noone can quite identify, but nonetheless looks painful.

Everyone steps back, this time resulting in a heel to the kidneys. The runner looks around and screams "Kessobahn! Your stupidity has gone one for too long. I do now what your father should have". A collective intake of breath follows as the assassin jumps into the air. Liosan mumbles something about also being a ninja, fingering his cardboard shuriken. A confusing, bloody and quite possibly impossible set of actions follow, the end result of which is Kessobahn lying in several pieces all over the street.

Someone in the crowd yells - "Assassin, get him!" and the crowd surges forward. The assassin spins around and says "I can explain! You see I'm a GOOD assa-".

Unfortunately he doesnt have a chance to finish his sentence, as a thrown squid hits him square in the face. Desperately the assassin claws at his head, but the squid, now roused to anger, is having none of it. Slowly it squeezes its tentacles around the assassins neck. Through the squid's translucent skin, the assassins face turns a curious shade of blue. To add to the indignancy, an ink stain runs down the front of the assassin's shirt.

Stilled by the bizarre spectacle, the crowd steps back. The assassin finally keels over, squid-first into the mud. The squid then rather calmly lays it's eggs on the assassin's head and slinks off into the swamp.

In the distance a rather trampled looking figure flees into the distance, his silhouette marred by the shape of a long loaf of something edible.

Shadow (Bent) is dead - He was innocent
Kessobahn (Q21) is dead - He was innocent

It is night 1. There are 12 hours left. Please send in night actions or confirm your provisionals



View PostPath-Shaper, on Nov 25 2008, 08:20 PM, said:

A fruit vendor sits picking his nose in the early hours of the morning. Gods know noone will buy anything at this hour, but anything is better than going home and listening to his wife. He looks down at his stall, an upturned crate slowly sinking into the mud. Some squid, various mushrooms and a lonely, prized, apple.

A stranger walks up to the stall.

thud

"Ooh, what a charming little emporium, may I peruse your wears?"
"You're not from around here are you?"

thud

"What? I've lived here all my life! I'm the very definition of an Ambergris citizen."
"Well I've never seen you before."
"Nonsense, everyone knows me - I have the coolest avatar!"
"What the hell are you talking about?"

thud

"I'm Ambergris's most premier citizen - I've even been invited to a greycap tea-party. Such a wonderful affair those are."
"Listen, I dont sell to nutjobs, so move along please."
"Nutjob? Whatever are you talking about? Besides, I'm hungry, let me see what you have for sale."

thud

"I said I'm not selling anything to you, get lost."
"The indignancy. I refuse to leave until you've provided me with some food."
"No!"
"Fine"

The stranger proceeds to sit down in the mud in front of the stall.

thud

"I'm not moving until you agree to sell me something."
"Look, you can have this apple if you just leave"
"I dont want it."

thud

"Why not, it's an apple! You know how hard it is to find apples? It's not even a week old"
"Well, because there's a crossbow bolt sticking out from it."

Sure enough, the prized apple is pinned to the stall by a wicked looking bolt.

"I cant imagine why you decided to decorate your stall in such a gloomy manner, but you've certainly been thorough. Although I must admit, the feathers are rather fetching"

Looking down, the stall keeper realises that his stall is bristling with crossbow bolts.

"wha..."

thud

The stall keeper looks up, to see that the stranger is lying face first in the mud. Knowing the mud around here, not the most hygienic of positions. Which is in any case a moot point, considering the large crossbow bolt sticking out the back of the stranger's head.

"aagh"

The stall keeper picks up his crate, bolts and all, and hurriedly shambles off into an alley.

"I think I better go check on the wife..."

Anomandaris (Gem Windcaster) is dead - she was inno



View PostPath-Shaper, on Nov 27 2008, 12:50 AM, said:

The fruit vendor sighed and rested his back against a tree. It has taken him the whole day to patch all the holes in his crate, all the time having to listen to his wife moan about the fact that he couldn't even be shot at with expensive bolts.

At least now he'd found a shady spot as far as possible from anywhere anyone would want to go. He'd even managed to find a mushroom he'd never seen before. It was bright pink with little blue spots all over it. No way anyone would buy it, but it might be worth something to an apothecary. The vendor smiled to himself and dreamed of actual meat.

His reverie was rudely interrupted by the arrival of an out of breath townsperson, mumbling incoherently about cases and post-counts. "Can I help you?" asked the vendor. "You gotta hide me, they want my blood!".
"I dont really think I want to get involved in all this..."
"It's too late now, here they come."

A very, very angry group of people burst into the clearing. "There he is - get him!". Several of the mob jump forward and pin the stranger to the ground. "Alright, who has the rope?"
"I thought you did - you had some yesterday."
"No I had a pitchfork - you had the rope."
"so noone has rope."

The crowd looks around hopefully, but indeed, noone brought the rope. "Well, that's embarrassing, now what?" someone asks. "Does anyone have a squid?" someone else suggests.

The vendor clears his throat sheepishly and holds forth his pink and blue mushroom. "You could try this."
"What does it do?"
"Honestly, I have no idea."
"Good enough for me!" someone cries and stuffs the mushroom into the stranger's mouth. The stranger chokes a little, then swallows, a dreamy look appearing on his face.

"Awh man, this is some good shit. Your words - I can see them. They're different colours. It's beautiful. Thanks guys" and the stranger falls asleep.
"Is he dead?"
"I dunno"
Suddenly the stranger sits up, throwing off his attackers. "rofl w00t lol lol lol lmao imho rofl!!!!111!!!11" he cries, right before his stomach explodes.
Everyone is showered in blood, viscera, gore and masticated mushroom. The obligatory wheel rolls past.



Rashan (lisheo) is dead - he was inno

It is now night, you have 12 hours remaining.

Please send in and confirm any night actions.

Apologies again, I feel a right tit.


View PostPath-Shaper, on Dec 2 2008, 09:37 PM, said:

Hey, Lish here.

Morning has broken over Ambergris. Nothing strange happened, which is a strange thing, indeed.
As the regent rises for the fourth day, he notices how his morning choir is once again firmly in place. A peek out of the window show their numbers are diminished, which is not a real surprise, seeing how his agents have been diligently reducing their numbers. "Good morning my lovely minions," the regent shouts, upending the chamber pot from his window. The outrage is very visible, but quiet, as ever living member in the PAF is too busy closing their eyes, mouth and nose and averting their faces. At the least, his assassins can now track the resistance by its smell.

But will it even be necessary? Two shady figures watch from the shadows, crossbows in their hands, a scattering of bolts, throwing knives and squid at their feet. "Who do we shoot today, mate?"
"No clue. Look, that guy over there is painting a target on that other guy's back."
"Should we shoot that one? Regent said there was an insider on the job..."
"Might be a trap. I mean, maybe it is a sign of rank, or sumthin, maybe he got a field promotion."
"I think you made a slip there, it's something in proper Ambergris."
"My ambergris is pretty good, go back through anything I ever said and you'll notice not one other slip. Besides, who are you to point out my flaws? You are not ever even here, all the time holing up eating kiwi's."
"Vitamins are vital, dear chap. Now, who do we shoot?"
"too late, they saw you. They're coming this way. Draw swords, and let's take out as many as we can."
"That guy with the paint is now writing SCuM on another guy's jerkin."
"Yeah, wonder what he mains by it..."

As the assassins bicker on, the poor PAF member who has been scribbled on, throws a hissy fit. "I'm telling you, I don't care who we tear apart, as everyone could be scum! Those two in the corner there, with all the weapons, but also you, you or you! And I'm a Soldier, anyway!"
"But neither of us has scum on their shirt", a helpful underling points out, hoping for a promotion, nudging the Gamelon at his side, the one hero with some experience left, and a duly earned nickname of "the Weasel".
"Who cares what my shirt says, it's about whether or not I show up as scum once I'm torn apart! And I will not!"
"Only one way to find out,"FEner says, rolling up his sleeves. The grafiti-ed PAF member cries as his fellow members of the resistance produce various pocket squids, known as Saturday Night Specialities, raised and fed on noxious diets by the firm Squid & Poisson, and sold with a label saying: "Do not digest".
This advice is religiously followed by all the people forcing their Specialties down the poor rebels throat. After all, they aren't the ones doing the digesting...

"Look, they're fighting with one another, this is our chance!"
Soon, the air is filled with bolts, squid and ink, and in the end, only one man stands, a regent's badge on his coat.
"Well done guys, but then, the hints and aid I gave you chaps practically made this a roll-over."
"Hints? Aid? You accused us, you silly bugger! I was THIS close to getting squided for it! We almost had you murdered, you idiot!"
The traitor threw his arms up, eyes on the heavens. "Some people just can't appreciate a true artiste as work..."


Password to SH is mushroom.

Edited by Ment, because I liked this scene so much laugh.gif


I cant find the one Tapper wrote for Grief, can someone put it up as well?
[url="http://www.alt146.zzl.org"]MafiaManager[/url]: My Mafia Modding tool - Now at v0.3b

With great power comes a great integral of energy over time.
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#24 User is offline   Jump Around 

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Posted 17 January 2009 - 08:20 PM

View PostBent, on Jan 16 2009, 04:10 PM, said:

3 hours into day 1 JA gets lynched in an altless game. Poor JA. HA!



For the record, I was technically day-vigged by Tapper.

It's kinda like the hung, drawn and quartered of old times :harhar:
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#25 User is offline   Tapper 

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Posted 18 January 2009 - 12:44 PM

View Postalt146, on Jan 17 2009, 09:17 PM, said:

I cant find the one Tapper wrote for Grief, can someone put it up as well?

It should be in SH for that game, as Grief wasn't lynched. I can take a quick peek and see if I have it saved as a word-document somewhere, but I doubt it... usually, I cut + paste stuff into the Reply.
Everyone is entitled to his own wrong opinion. - Lizrad
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#26 User is offline   Tapper 

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Posted 26 January 2009 - 12:36 PM

Found the one alt146 was looking for.

---

The fruit vendor stared over the river, focusing on the line he had cast into its water. Two old boots (both left side) and a variety of squid he had never seen before, spouting angry red ink when caught. It was better than seeing a stranger getting shot in front of your stall. Those rebels were overdoing it, he thought. What's wrong with a civil protest? Much better for business.

He had managed to salvage what was left of his crate. What was left of his marriage was an entirely different matter, but right now, his heart couldn't take another row with the wife. And so, here he was. Staring at the water. On the other side of the river, a mob had gathered. The vendor rather hoped they wouldn't chase the fish away.

A reed moved at an alarming pace towards him. Not very fast, mind you, but plants shouldn't move anyway, apart from in the wind, of course. The reed suddenly disappeared, only to be replaced by the head of a guy, his features obscured by a torn stocking. The lillies in its flower pattern were such an odd detail, the vendor mused.

"The wheel of fortune turns round incessantly, and who can say to himself, "I shall today be uppermost." the weirdo whispered. He continued to rise, showing he was wearing pyjama's, which were probably hospital green a decade ago.

"Eh... what?"

"It's an eastern saying, you dolt!" the stranger screamed. "Can't you see, I'm a ninja!"

"A what?"

"I'm a freaking martial artist and bad ass assassin who can kill people during the day if I get the catch phrase right! Now, what was it... something with 'how my father wasn't worth me', I think."

Behind the stranger, the vendor saw people crossing the river on a hastily commandeered fisher boat. Their target was the lunatic in front of him.

"so why are you running from that crowd?" he asked

"because people say I love spam, which is a ridiculous suggestion, as all the best ninja's only eat tofu!"

In the prow, a shadowy figure raised a harpoon, then threw it. Amazingly, the ninja caught the motion out of the corner of his eye, and turned, then jumped up, shouting: "I've been drinking pepsi for years to keep myself in top condition, even when I was imprisoned in Mohinder, so you really need to do better than this, a harpoon to the back is sooooo stereotypical, a real killer would come up with something better." Upon hitting the water, he attempted a somersault and landed face first in the dirt instead. He never rose, as instead, a white-grey squid slithered over his face. The white-grey was a rather nasty poisoned variety, too, but it did restore peace and quiet.

The vendor examined the pyjama's. Not pyjama's after all, it was a straightjacket. Just another escaped lunatic from the asylum boats. Maybe those stone prisons with iron bars in front of tiny windows weren't such a bad innovation after all, the vendor mused.

Liosan (Grief) is dead.
He was Innocent.
Everyone is entitled to his own wrong opinion. - Lizrad
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#27 User is offline   drinksinbars 

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Posted 02 February 2009 - 03:49 PM

heheheh

View PostKorlat, on Jan 26 2009, 08:41 PM, said:

View PostGalain, on Jan 26 2009, 12:39 PM, said:

People really like early lynches and not sending in provisionals around here...


I don't just like it, I love it. I touch my naughty bits just thinking about forcing Night to time out.

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#28 User is offline   Kurt Montandon 

  • First Sword
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  • Location:California

Posted 11 May 2009 - 05:32 AM

At the risk of self-promotion, one of my scenes from the Pirates vs. Ninjas game (of course, I think all the scenes I wrote should be here, but I'm too lazy and drunk to track them all down ...) :


Quote

The Pirates cheerfully chucked the corpse of the last Ninja over the railing, brushing their hands off with determined cheer, and cheerfully patted each other on the back, or, in one or two cases, a tad lower, followed quickly by exchanged blushes.

After a moment, they shook off the insipid good naturedness and remembered how much they hated each other.

The hungry, horny handful of hard-bitten, butt-hurt buccaneers sidled slowly away from each other, wondering when the alliteration would ever end, everyone wistfully wishing they could waste the clunge conscientiously creating this crap.

The showdown was finally underway ... and on these becalmed seas, the only measure of a man's worth was the blood on his hands and the gold in his chest. Everyone would probably die, given that the ship was stranded and supplies were running out, but at least one of them would die with a lot more inedible, undrinkable, shiny, hard, yellow metal pieces than the others ...

It is Day 6. There are five of you: Emurlahn, Hood's Path, Silanah, Galayn Lord, D'riss

There are 36 hours remaining in the Day.

4 to Lynch, 3 to Night

I finally have an avatar ... and it's better than yours.
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#29 User is offline   Grief 

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Posted 21 May 2009 - 01:31 PM

Decided this Scene for when Gamelon was lynched deserved a post. This was at the time of lots of crashes and board troubles, and the thread was locked:

Path-Shaper said:

The last few days are a mess, a warrens collide and the very fabric of reality seems to shatter around you.

Those mages are indeed as powerful as their reputation.



But the one named Telas affirms that his powers have detected a clear signature coming from the one called Gamelon.

You decide to test the claim.




It is Day 4. 19 hours and 46 minutes remaining

8 Players still alive: D'riss, Fener, Gamelon, Liosan, Ruse, Silanah, Telas, Tennes

5 votes to lynch, 4 votes to go to night

1 vote for Telas: ( Gamelon )
5 votes for Gamelon: ( Telas, Fener, Silanah, Liosan, Ruse )

Players not voted: D'riss, Tennes


Gamelon (Sinrei) is lynched. He wasIPS DRIVER ERROR

Cougar said:

Grief, FFS will you do something with your sig, it's bloody awful


worry said:

Grief is right (until we abolish capitalism).
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#30 User is offline   Tapper 

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Posted 22 June 2009 - 01:14 PM

Came across this Heroes 2.0 one.

Attached File(s)


Everyone is entitled to his own wrong opinion. - Lizrad
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#31 User is offline   Yellow 

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Posted 30 June 2009 - 09:04 PM

That's a quality rant :Oops:
Don't fuck with the Culture.
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#32 User is offline   Vengeance 

  • High Priest of Shinrei Love and Worship
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  • very good...;)

Posted 30 June 2009 - 09:16 PM

Yeah that was a miserable day glad it came across so well...
How many fucking people do I have to hammer in order to get that across.
Hinter - Vengy - DIE. I trusted you you bastard!!!!!!!

Steven Erikson made drowning in alien cum possible - Obdigore
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#33 User is offline   Obdigore 

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Posted 30 June 2009 - 09:20 PM

Veng gets his fucking rant in here and I don't get mine? QQQQ :Oops:

I did enjoy reading that thought.
Monster Hunter World Iceborne: It's like hunting monsters, but on crack, but the monsters are also on crack.
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#34 User is offline   Vengeance 

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  • very good...;)

Posted 30 June 2009 - 09:23 PM

View PostCaptain Oblivious, on Jun 30 2009, 04:20 PM, said:

Veng gets his fucking rant in here and I don't get mine? QQQQ :p

I did enjoy reading that thought.


Well YEAH... How many quality rants of mine were rejected... Tons I tell you tons... It takes special rants to make... :Oops:
How many fucking people do I have to hammer in order to get that across.
Hinter - Vengy - DIE. I trusted you you bastard!!!!!!!

Steven Erikson made drowning in alien cum possible - Obdigore
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#35 User is offline   Obdigore 

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Posted 30 June 2009 - 09:37 PM

lmao :p

My Rant was even about you being lynched :Oops:
Monster Hunter World Iceborne: It's like hunting monsters, but on crack, but the monsters are also on crack.
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#36 User is offline   Bent 

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  • Interests:POOP!

Posted 03 September 2009 - 12:35 PM

Hetan, on September 3 2009, said:

I have sent a pm to Path-shaper but I guess I can ask you guys - your game is over right?
Therefore would this be a good time to carry out the forum upgrade please without any disruption to your fun?



drinksinbars, on September 3 2009, said:

yes that would be best :p



drinksinbars, on September 3 2009, said:

p0lus if the forum is down when veng tries to get back on it will be very funny :p



meanest thing ever.
THIS IS HOW I ROLL BITCHES!!!
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#37 User is offline   Yellow 

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Posted 21 December 2009 - 10:51 AM

I realise this would be a ball-ache for everyone, but is there any chance the guys who posted quotes could redo them in the new forum stylee? Reading nested quotes when they're not actually nested any more is really difficult.
Don't fuck with the Culture.
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#38 User is offline   Mentalist 

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  • Interests:Soccer, Chess, swimming, books, misc
  • Junior Mafia Mod

Posted 10 March 2012 - 01:04 AM

from the Great MArch Spam-fest of '12:



View PostH.D., on 01 March 2012 - 11:02 AM, said:

A vote on JA is so unbelievably fucking lazy. Seriously. It's like mental midgets voting for a normal person to represent them in a chess game even though that person might have no fucking clue how to play chess while they've been studying it for a while.

The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard
THE CONTESTtm WINNER--чемпіон самоконтролю

View PostJump Around, on 23 October 2011 - 11:04 AM, said:

And I want to state that Ment has out-weaseled me by far in this game.
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#39 User is offline   Grief 

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Posted 10 March 2012 - 02:40 AM

Alkend/Lady Bliss.

View PostAlkend, on 01 March 2012 - 12:46 AM, said:

Scum love to make lists.


Probably my favourite post for quite a while.

Cougar said:

Grief, FFS will you do something with your sig, it's bloody awful


worry said:

Grief is right (until we abolish capitalism).
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