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What's messing with your groove?

#4461 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 01 June 2010 - 05:01 PM

Okay I wasn't going to chime in on this whole young girl business, but I've actually been in MTS exact situation.

One of my ex-girlfriends friends hounded me like I was a male hormone covered chocolate bar. I was 19 and she was 15 at the time. I told her I wouldn't have any of that (especially since the legal age was 16) but after she turned 16 she eventually managed to catch my while I was slushed out of my mind one night. We ended up having an on off fuck buddy relationship for a year or two, depending upon when or if we were in other relationships.

Back then I was not very experienced, but that girl. I swear to god, she had to have been the loosest skirt in town. She'd probably been with at least a dozen guys or more by the time I met her. She'd had two abortions. Couple of STDs. And she knew things I'd never even seen in a Porno. To call her innocent or a child is laughable. The girl knew exactly what she wanted and she did what she wanted to do. She was the kind of girl that would fuck you and afterwards you would feel kind of dirt and used.

Today I doubt I would have went near her with a ten foot pole, but back then, when you're a teenager and a girl is practically throwing herself at you, it's really hard to say NO.

EDIT: To sum it up, no! Down Boy! Bad MTS, BAD! Dont do it! (unless she's really good in bed and there's no chance that her dad will find out and kill you to death)

This post has been edited by Aptorian: 01 June 2010 - 05:09 PM

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#4462 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 01 June 2010 - 05:27 PM

View PostAptorian, on 01 June 2010 - 05:01 PM, said:

Today I doubt I would have went near her with a ten foot pole, but back then, when you're a teenager and a girl is practically throwing herself at you, it's really hard to say NO.


to quote...
I know, I should say no, but
It's kinda hard when she's ready to go
I might be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem!
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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#4463 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 01 June 2010 - 05:32 PM

Oh wayo, yeah, yeah
Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah

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#4464 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

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Posted 01 June 2010 - 05:34 PM

View PostAptorian, on 01 June 2010 - 05:01 PM, said:

Okay I wasn't going to chime in on this whole young girl business, but I've actually been in MTS exact situation.

One of my ex-girlfriends friends hounded me like I was a male hormone covered chocolate bar. I was 19 and she was 15 at the time. I told her I wouldn't have any of that (especially since the legal age was 16) but after she turned 16 she eventually managed to catch my while I was slushed out of my mind one night. We ended up having an on off fuck buddy relationship for a year or two, depending upon when or if we were in other relationships.

Back then I was not very experienced, but that girl. I swear to god, she had to have been the loosest skirt in town. She'd probably been with at least a dozen guys or more by the time I met her. She'd had two abortions. Couple of STDs. And she knew things I'd never even seen in a Porno. To call her innocent or a child is laughable. The girl knew exactly what she wanted and she did what she wanted to do. She was the kind of girl that would fuck you and afterwards you would feel kind of dirt and used.

Today I doubt I would have went near her with a ten foot pole, but back then, when you're a teenager and a girl is practically throwing herself at you, it's really hard to say NO.

EDIT: To sum it up, no! Down Boy! Bad MTS, BAD! Dont do it! (unless she's really good in bed and there's no chance that her dad will find out and kill you to death)


Want to know why a girl that young is that sexually aggressive? Because she has been raped or molested as a young child. It's a classic warning sign that people working with children are trained to look for. If they are acting overly sexual for their age, it's probably because sexuality was forced on them before they were prepared to deal with it.

Back to the dilemma at hand though, here's another reason not to mess with the 16 year old. Remember when you were 16, and you knew a girl who was sleeping with an older guy? Remember what a tool you thought he was, and how he must be a true loser to only be able to pull a young girl? Don't be that guy.
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#4465 User is offline   Aptorian 

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Posted 01 June 2010 - 06:18 PM

Oh she'd definitely been in some dodgy relationships. One guy once nearly bit one of her nipples off. Also the abortion stuff was a touchy subject.

Anyway, yes, emotional trauma can play with a young kids head, but you know, some people also just really love fucking their minds out. If a young guy is fucking girls left and right he's a young stud, if a girl does the same she is obviously a slut and was probably fondled by her father if you want to believe the childhood manual of proper and improper behaviour .
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#4466 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

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Posted 01 June 2010 - 07:00 PM

That behavior at that age is indicative of sexual abuse regardless of if it is a girl or a boy. There is a difference between merely being sexually active, which is certainly common enough at that age, and the behavior you described which is NOT coming from a healthy place.
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#4467 User is offline   Tapper 

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Posted 01 June 2010 - 09:17 PM

OK guys, if you don't approve of a 19 year old dating a 16 year old, tell me what age group a 16 year old girl should date with and/or be sexually active with.

It might be the alcohol/consent laws around here, which allow 16 year olds to drink and bed whoever they want, but I'm quite sure that most of the girls I know (and these are generally well educated, lovingly raised and certainly not traumatized) were sexually active at 16, and mostly not with 16 year old guys.
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#4468 User is offline   Macros 

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Posted 01 June 2010 - 09:28 PM

its all circumstantial, but I wouldn't be at it.
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#4469 User is offline   RodeoRanch 

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 03:08 AM

I didn't get the job. Again. Dammit.


But hope springs ever eternal and a position might be open come the start of next year. So that leaves my fall open for traveling. Time to meet more Malaznites and abuse their hospitality!
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#4470 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 04:07 AM

View PostMacros, on 01 June 2010 - 09:28 PM, said:

its all circumstantial, but I wouldn't be at it.


This is the correct answer. Sure, those girls might be getting nailed by older guys. It's up to you to not be one of those guys.
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#4471 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 05:19 AM

View PostRaymond Luxury Yacht, on 01 June 2010 - 05:34 PM, said:

Remember when you were 16, and you knew a girl who was sleeping with an older guy? Remember what a tool you thought he was, and how he must be a true loser to only be able to pull a young girl?


uh? no, I don't recall any such judgements. stinks of jealousy and an inferiority complex.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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#4472 User is offline   teholbeddict 

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 05:59 AM

I'm sorry but this whole opinion that girls who have sex, enjoy having sex, become sexually active at the age of sixteen or have more than one partner while in their teens somehow equals them having been sexually abused or makes them promiscuous has got to go. It's a load of bull. This kind of double standard makes me sick. How many male teenagers are sexually active by that age or have had more than one partner by the time they exit their teens, I'm betting a good number. Never mind betting, I guarantee it. Somehow that's studly and manly but if it's a female then there's got to be something wrong with her. Because we all know ( in the minds of morons) girls don't like sex, we don't have the same sex drives as men and heaven forbid we do then we're automatically in the slut category or there has to be something in our past that forces us to act that way.

Not to mention alot of teen girls or even women prefer to date slightly older males because girls tend to be a bit more mature than guys. I mean I know when I was fifteen or sixteen most of the boys my age were complete and utter hormone ridden morons. This is not to say that a sixteen year old and a nineteen year old are going to have a lot in common, but it can still work in certain instances. Yes people change as they go through their teens and continue to mature and normally those relationships don't end up lasting, but how many high school romances do. You can still learn and grow from them. I don't think having a fling with a sixteen year old when you're eighteen or nineteen is advisable, but if you want to get into an actual relationship with her that's more than sex, fine.

You can't just pigeon hole every girl or every teenager and apply absolutes to all circumstances. It's not right and it's definitely not fair. Just wanted to add some female perspective here, although some of you men seem to think you are experts on all things pertaining to the opposite sex. That's right there are females on the board, and we do have opinions and do actually know a thing or two about how women work, feel or think. You should consider that before posting some of the things you do.

This post has been edited by teholbeddict: 02 June 2010 - 06:00 AM

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#4473 User is offline   MTS 

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 06:03 AM

View PostGothos, on 02 June 2010 - 05:19 AM, said:

View PostRaymond Luxury Yacht, on 01 June 2010 - 05:34 PM, said:

Remember when you were 16, and you knew a girl who was sleeping with an older guy? Remember what a tool you thought he was, and how he must be a true loser to only be able to pull a young girl?


uh? no, I don't recall any such judgements. stinks of jealousy and an inferiority complex.

I recall such judgments - I've made them myself. I wouldn't say I could only pull a younger girl though haha. I mostly agree with you though, so unless she jumps my bones when I'm pissed it's not gonna happen. I imagine she'll get over it, harsh though that sounds.

And I'm surprised my, uhh, 'situation' has generated so much discussion lol.
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#4474 User is offline   Jusentantaka 

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 06:28 AM

Quote

That's right there are females on the board, and we do have opinions and do actually know a thing or two about how women work, feel or think. You should consider that before posting some of the things you do.


LIES! Lies and Slander! Don't you know that the Good Wife's Handbook says that a woman must hold no opinions which her husband, or male relatives have not told her the correct ones? :o
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#4475 User is offline   teholbeddict 

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 06:32 AM

View PostJusentantaka, on 02 June 2010 - 06:28 AM, said:

Quote

That's right there are females on the board, and we do have opinions and do actually know a thing or two about how women work, feel or think. You should consider that before posting some of the things you do.


LIES! Lies and Slander! Don't you know that the Good Wife's Handbook says that a woman must hold no opinions which her husband, or male relatives have not told her the correct ones? :o


Ah yes, my stepford wife chip must have malfunctioned there for a moment. Whatever was I thinking! Better get back to being bare foot and head to the kitchen.
Procrastination is like masturbation, you're only F ing yourself...
-Bubbalicious -

Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable… Every step toward the goal of justice requires sacrifice, suffering, and struggle; the tireless exertions and passionate concern of dedicated individuals.
- Martin Luther King, Jr-

The only thing one can learn from one's past mistakes is how to repeat them exactly.
-Stone Monkey-

Muffins are just ugly cupcakes!
-Zanth13-
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#4476 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 06:50 AM

That reminds me, time to take The Purity Myth out of my wish list and into my shopping cart.

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#4477 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 07:20 AM

View Postteholbeddict, on 02 June 2010 - 05:59 AM, said:

I'm sorry but this whole opinion that girls who have sex, enjoy having sex, become sexually active at the age of sixteen or have more than one partner while in their teens somehow equals them having been sexually abused or makes them promiscuous has got to go. It's a load of bull. This kind of double standard makes me sick. How many male teenagers are sexually active by that age or have had more than one partner by the time they exit their teens, I'm betting a good number. Never mind betting, I guarantee it. Somehow that's studly and manly but if it's a female then there's got to be something wrong with her. Because we all know ( in the minds of morons) girls don't like sex, we don't have the same sex drives as men and heaven forbid we do then we're automatically in the slut category or there has to be something in our past that forces us to act that way.

Not to mention alot of teen girls or even women prefer to date slightly older males because girls tend to be a bit more mature than guys. I mean I know when I was fifteen or sixteen most of the boys my age were complete and utter hormone ridden morons. This is not to say that a sixteen year old and a nineteen year old are going to have a lot "in common, but it can still work in certain instances. Yes people change as they go through their teens and continue to mature and normally those relationships don't end up lasting, but how many high school romances do. You can still learn and grow from them. I don't think having a fling with a sixteen year old when you're eighteen or nineteen is advisable, but if you want to get into an actual relationship with her that's more than sex, fine.

You can't just pigeon hole every girl or every teenager and apply absolutes to all circumstances. It's not right and it's definitely not fair. Just wanted to add some female perspective here, although some of you men seem to think you are experts on all things pertaining to the opposite sex. That's right there are females on the board, and we do have opinions and do actually know a thing or two about how women work, feel or think. You should consider that before posting some of the things you do.



You need to calm down and read exactly what we're talking about. The idea of certain sexual behaviors indicating abuse was not referring to any sexually active girl, but to INAPPROPRIATE AND DESTRUCTIVE sexual behavior, like this girl:

Quote

Back then I was not very experienced, but that girl. I swear to god, she had to have been the loosest skirt in town. She'd probably been with at least a dozen guys or more by the time I met her. She'd had two abortions. Couple of STDs. And she knew things I'd never even seen in a Porno. To call her innocent or a child is laughable. The girl knew exactly what she wanted and she did what she wanted to do. She was the kind of girl that would fuck you and afterwards you would feel kind of dirt and used.


A dozen partners, two abortions, and two stds is not healthy behavior in a 16 year old girl. Or a boy, for that matter. That's another thing you skipped over, where I said that unhealthy practices possibly indicating abuse applies to BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS. Again, to repeat since it seems you only skimmed before, I am NOT talking about simply being sexually active or having multiple partners. EXTREME AND DESTRUCTIVE SEXUAL BEHAVIOR is the topic.

I didn't realize that child psychology was your field. If you say that extreme sexual behavior is not ever indicative of previous trauma, well then we better alert the psychologists, because they've got it all wrong. Your "female perspective" somehow trumps the entire field of modern child psychology.

Come on Tehol, you're better than this. You had a knee-jerk reaction to an isolated part of a discussion, and ignored all context, and then argued against points no one was even trying to make. We're not talking about the idea of girls being considered sluts while boys are called studs, you brought that up out of nowhere, and no one here is thinking like that!

No shit most boys and girls have sex in high school, often with more than one person. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I'm saying that if a young teenager of either gender goes beyond normal sexuality to the point of self-damaging behavior, it's often (but admittedly not always, there's another thing you made up to argue against) a sign of abuse. This is fact. Please do not twist what I said. Seriously, the majority of your post is a rant against ideas that no one here is even thinking, let alone saying.
Seriously, you are off the reservation with this one, and frankly I'm offended by the words you're putting in my mouth.
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#4478 User is offline   MTS 

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 07:27 AM

Now, let's all calm down people, this is an Inn thread. :o
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Si hoc adfixum in obice legere potes, et liberaliter educatus et nimis propinquus ades.
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#4479 User is offline   Gothos 

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 07:30 AM

What I can't see, RLY, is how a 19 and 16 year old making out and/or fucking is extreme sexual behaviour. The insufferable sluts I mentioned earlier aren't a product of home traume, at least most of them aren't - just a combination of parent inability and modern marketing.

As for the behaviour described by Apt... that's not healthy behaviour at ANY age, adult or teen or w/e. It's just rotten. And ridiculously stupid.
It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.
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#4480 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

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Posted 02 June 2010 - 07:36 AM

View PostGothos, on 02 June 2010 - 07:30 AM, said:

What I can't see, RLY, is how a 19 and 16 year old making out and/or fucking is extreme sexual behaviour. The insufferable sluts I mentioned earlier aren't a product of home traume, at least most of them aren't - just a combination of parent inability and modern marketing.

As for the behaviour described by Apt... that's not healthy behaviour at ANY age, adult or teen or w/e. It's just rotten. And ridiculously stupid.


I'm NOT saying that a 16 and a 19 yr old is extreme sexual behavior. That comment was specifically aimed at the situation Apt was describing, with that specific girl. That girl sounds like she has been abused to me. We were on a tangent only loosely related to the original discussion. Sorry for the mixup.

To clarify, I think Apt's 16 year ols sounds traumatixed. Your average 16 year old having sex is not, they are simply having sex.
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