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What's messing with your groove?

#29561 User is offline   amphibian 

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Posted 14 March 2023 - 01:05 PM

View PostMaark Abbott, on 14 March 2023 - 08:49 AM, said:

The problem is it's not. £20 is half a week's food for us. Going in for a few days means we don't eat for a week. The company doesn't reimburse. So basically, my choices are go in and starve for a week, or be unable to go and risk having no job at all.

I work in law. I shouldn't be in a position like this.

Can you talk to your immediate supervisor about this? There may be a workaround that they can come up with.

If not, I'm really sorry. I'll DM you.
I survived the Permian and all I got was this t-shirt.
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#29562 User is offline   Maark Abbott 

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Posted 14 March 2023 - 01:47 PM

I don't think there's anything they'll do. It's a shit sandwich all in.
Debut novel 'Incarnate' now available on Kindle
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#29563 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 14 March 2023 - 02:08 PM

View PostSlow Ben, on 12 March 2023 - 08:41 PM, said:

View PostAzath Vitr (D, on 12 March 2023 - 06:56 PM, said:

View Postworry, on 12 March 2023 - 04:50 AM, said:

Freezer/fridge combo died overnight! Now all that's in there is this:
Spoiler





I only use my freezer/fridge for my nuts (in the freezer of course).

[/size]
香肉 "fragrant meat" - Wiktionary



I just wear breathable underwear, but to each their own….



Don't say I didn't warn you when your nuts go rancid and nobody wants to eat them....

How to Keep Your Nuts Fresh
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#29564 User is offline   Whisperzzzzzzz 

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Posted 14 March 2023 - 04:12 PM

The night sweats have returned, after a few years without...
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#29565 User is offline   amphibian 

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Posted 14 March 2023 - 04:46 PM

I have been hosting a friend on my couch initially, then got a guest bedroom set up for him - for 5 months. I have not and would not ask for rent, utilities, help with chores etc.

I asked him to figure out a departure with a month's notice and to take his things he's stored here. Days of silence, he texted my brother who is his roommate upstairs to protest. My brother generally agrees with me, thinks that I could be nicer (I was blunt, although not rude bc this friend has ducked conversation on this topic for a couple months now), and mostly stays out of this.

Today, the friend walks downstairs and starts talking to me while I'm in the middle of a work meeting. I was luckily muted on the meeting and tell him to come back in a few. The conversation he chooses to have later consisted of "You've swept my feet out from under me, I'm this close to buying a house, I have 3k saved up, and now I am going to have to put that all into an apartment, this is out of character for you, there's no empathy in your eyes etc".

I stayed firm, told him he has a month to figure things out, that I've not asked him for rent or contributions, that I wasn't going to get in the details on why I want him out (he's a constant blunt smoker and puts his ashes everywhere, constantly borrows my stuff and doesn't return for days until I ask - things like my nail clippers, is lazy about cleaning, does laundry constantly for 2-3 pieces of clothes, brings his kid and partner over to use my TV/games stuff multiple days of the week, it was economically affordable, yet he is more expensive in terms of utilities and house time than my brother and I put together), and that this was final.

He's probably going to go to our mutual friends and complain.

He has the 3k and the unlikely wherewithal to buy a house because I put him up for 5+ months and will go a 6th.

Change the relationship, sheesh.

This post has been edited by amphibian: 14 March 2023 - 04:55 PM

I survived the Permian and all I got was this t-shirt.
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#29566 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 14 March 2023 - 05:22 PM

View Postamphibian, on 14 March 2023 - 04:46 PM, said:

constantly borrows my stuff and doesn't return for days until I ask - things like my nail clippers,


Ew.

That's a really crappy situation man. It sounds like you've been exceptionally patient with this person, and helped them when they didn't have a place...but yeah he's definitely starting to take advantage, and you're right to want him out. This will only get worse. I know people like this, and only the hard and rough cold water of reality will slap them out of it...so you're doing the right thing, and I would just explain to your mutuals your side of it....and I would hope most understand that you've done all you could and more than most. Everything else will come out in the wash. Here's hoping once he's out and gets back onto his feet he realizes what a good friend you were.
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora

“Someone will always try to sell you despair, just so they don't feel alone.” ~Ursula Vernon
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#29567 User is offline   JPK 

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Posted 14 March 2023 - 08:12 PM

View PostAzath Vitr (D, on 14 March 2023 - 07:34 PM, said:

Posted Image

The World Will Change Next Week

Also:

Quote

Researchers at Google [...] released an AI model called PaLM-E this week that combines language and vision capabilities to control robots, allowing them to complete tasks autonomously in the real world—from getting a chip bag from a kitchen to sorting blocks by color into corners of a rectangle.

According to the researchers, this is the largest Visual Language Model (VLM) reported to date, with 562 billion parameters. This AI has a “wide array of capabilities” which includes math reasoning, multi-image reasoning, and chain-of-thought reasoning. [...] the AI uses multi-task training to transfer skills across tasks, rather than being trained on individual tasks. [...] the AI model when controlling robots even displays "emergent capabilities like multimodal chain of thought reasoning, and the ability to reason over multiple images, despite being trained on only single-image prompts."

PaLM-E is based on Google’s previous large language model called PaLM and the E in the name stands for “embodied,” and refers to the model’s interaction with physical objects and robotic control. [...]

The robot is able to generate its own plan of action in response to commands using the model. When the robot was asked to “bring me the rice chips from the drawer,” PaLM-E was able to guide it to go to the drawers, open the top drawer, take the rice chips out of the drawer, bring it to the user, and put it down. The robot was able to do this even with a human disturbance, with a researcher knocking the rice chips back into the drawer the first time the robot picked it up. PaLM-E is able to do this by analyzing data from its live camera.

[...] “This enables not only embodied reasoning but also question answering, as demonstrated in our experiments.”

[...] “Perhaps most exciting about PaLM-E is positive transfer: simultaneously training PaLM-E across several domains, including internet-scale general vision-language tasks, leads to significantly higher performance compared to single-task robot models.”

Big Tech Is Now Developing Powerful AI Brains for Real-World Robots



It's amazing how one individual's happy post can be another's groove post.

This AI stuff is really starting to concern me. At least this one seems to be going towards furthering automation instead of encroaching on creative spaces.
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#29568 User is offline   Azath Vitr (D'ivers 

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Posted 14 March 2023 - 08:44 PM

View PostJPK, on 14 March 2023 - 08:12 PM, said:

View PostAzath Vitr (D, on 14 March 2023 - 07:34 PM, said:

Posted Image

The World Will Change Next Week

Also:

Quote

Researchers at Google [...] released an AI model called PaLM-E this week that combines language and vision capabilities to control robots, allowing them to complete tasks autonomously in the real world—from getting a chip bag from a kitchen to sorting blocks by color into corners of a rectangle.

According to the researchers, this is the largest Visual Language Model (VLM) reported to date, with 562 billion parameters. This AI has a "wide array of capabilities" which includes math reasoning, multi-image reasoning, and chain-of-thought reasoning. [...] the AI uses multi-task training to transfer skills across tasks, rather than being trained on individual tasks. [...] the AI model when controlling robots even displays "emergent capabilities like multimodal chain of thought reasoning, and the ability to reason over multiple images, despite being trained on only single-image prompts."

PaLM-E is based on Google's previous large language model called PaLM and the E in the name stands for "embodied," and refers to the model's interaction with physical objects and robotic control. [...]

The robot is able to generate its own plan of action in response to commands using the model. When the robot was asked to "bring me the rice chips from the drawer," PaLM-E was able to guide it to go to the drawers, open the top drawer, take the rice chips out of the drawer, bring it to the user, and put it down. The robot was able to do this even with a human disturbance, with a researcher knocking the rice chips back into the drawer the first time the robot picked it up. PaLM-E is able to do this by analyzing data from its live camera.

[...] "This enables not only embodied reasoning but also question answering, as demonstrated in our experiments."

[...] "Perhaps most exciting about PaLM-E is positive transfer: simultaneously training PaLM-E across several domains, including internet-scale general vision-language tasks, leads to significantly higher performance compared to single-task robot models."

Big Tech Is Now Developing Powerful AI Brains for Real-World Robots



It's amazing how one individual's happy post can be another's groove post.

This AI stuff is really starting to concern me. At least this one seems to be going towards furthering automation instead of encroaching on creative spaces.



Quote

AI is developing so fast that trying to keep up is almost upsetting. ����
It's like you buy an axe and chop your first branch with it, and you're like "wow this is pretty dope" and then all of a sudden someone's talking about this new "chainsaw" that's revolutionized wood-cutting, and you're like "neat, I should really try that" and then the next day when you're thinking about getting one, you learn chainsaws are obsolete and we have eye lasers to cut through wood now but don't worry about even trying to install those because they're working on wood-disappearing telepathy and it should be out within a few days
And you have an axe, should I keep chopping wood or...

AI Art Universe | AI is developing so fast that trying to keep up is almost upsetting

This post has been edited by Azath Vitr (D'ivers: 14 March 2023 - 08:44 PM

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#29569 User is offline   Mezla PigDog 

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Posted 14 March 2023 - 09:45 PM

View Postamphibian, on 14 March 2023 - 04:46 PM, said:

I have been hosting a friend on my couch initially, then got a guest bedroom set up for him - for 5 months. I have not and would not ask for rent, utilities, help with chores etc.

I asked him to figure out a departure with a month's notice and to take his things he's stored here. Days of silence, he texted my brother who is his roommate upstairs to protest. My brother generally agrees with me, thinks that I could be nicer (I was blunt, although not rude bc this friend has ducked conversation on this topic for a couple months now), and mostly stays out of this.

Today, the friend walks downstairs and starts talking to me while I'm in the middle of a work meeting. I was luckily muted on the meeting and tell him to come back in a few. The conversation he chooses to have later consisted of "You've swept my feet out from under me, I'm this close to buying a house, I have 3k saved up, and now I am going to have to put that all into an apartment, this is out of character for you, there's no empathy in your eyes etc".

I stayed firm, told him he has a month to figure things out, that I've not asked him for rent or contributions, that I wasn't going to get in the details on why I want him out (he's a constant blunt smoker and puts his ashes everywhere, constantly borrows my stuff and doesn't return for days until I ask - things like my nail clippers, is lazy about cleaning, does laundry constantly for 2-3 pieces of clothes, brings his kid and partner over to use my TV/games stuff multiple days of the week, it was economically affordable, yet he is more expensive in terms of utilities and house time than my brother and I put together), and that this was final.

He's probably going to go to our mutual friends and complain.

He has the 3k and the unlikely wherewithal to buy a house because I put him up for 5+ months and will go a 6th.

Change the relationship, sheesh.


How come you aren't giving him the details? Not that you have to at all, but given they are so blatant especially on the expense, he couldn't argue and sound rational. I totally get that you just need him to accept the decision is final and reasons don't matter though. Maybe it would help him in the future. Or maybe it would create a focal point for disagreement.

Well done for putting him up for as long as you have.
Burn rubber =/= warp speed
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#29570 User is offline   amphibian 

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Posted 14 March 2023 - 10:09 PM

To me, it felt like giving him the reasons would first provide bargaining points that I don't feel like he'd live up to long term anyways and second, I think it hurts to hear specifically the reasons that a person thinks you're a shitty roommate while the bigger conversation is "Get out in 30 days".

I don't actually mind the taking of a small thing (clean the clippers before returning them almost immediately and let me know so that I can clean them too), but keeping it for days on no notice means that build-up of little frictions that I don't want between me and anyone other than a romantic partner.

I've made clear before that I prefer this to be clean, I ask that you not park in a way that blocks others from getting out, please don't wreck my kitchen utensils, put your shoes on the multiple shoe racks I bought and conveniently located etc. The responses and long term habits haven't been great even if they're not bad or confrontational.

So now that he's in decent shape, he can go make his own rules in his own place.
I survived the Permian and all I got was this t-shirt.
0

#29571 User is offline   Lady Bliss 

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Posted 14 March 2023 - 11:06 PM

View Postamphibian, on 14 March 2023 - 10:09 PM, said:

To me, it felt like giving him the reasons would first provide bargaining points that I don't feel like he'd live up to long term anyways and second, I think it hurts to hear specifically the reasons that a person thinks you're a shitty roommate while the bigger conversation is "Get out in 30 days".

I don't actually mind the taking of a small thing (clean the clippers before returning them almost immediately and let me know so that I can clean them too), but keeping it for days on no notice means that build-up of little frictions that I don't want between me and anyone other than a romantic partner.

I've made clear before that I prefer this to be clean, I ask that you not park in a way that blocks others from getting out, please don't wreck my kitchen utensils, put your shoes on the multiple shoe racks I bought and conveniently located etc. The responses and long term habits haven't been great even if they're not bad or confrontational.

So now that he's in decent shape, he can go make his own rules in his own place.

Amp… you are a saint. I’m sure I would have smothered him in his sleep by now if I were you. I don’t think that you are being in the least bit unreasonable with your asks here.
"If you prick us do we not bleed? If you tickle us do we not laugh? If you poison us do we not die? And if you wrong us shall we not revenge?" - Shylock
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#29572 User is offline   QuickTidal 

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Posted 15 March 2023 - 01:34 AM

View PostJPK, on 14 March 2023 - 08:12 PM, said:

View PostAzath Vitr (D, on 14 March 2023 - 07:34 PM, said:

Posted Image

The World Will Change Next Week

Also:

Quote

Researchers at Google [...] released an AI model called PaLM-E this week that combines language and vision capabilities to control robots, allowing them to complete tasks autonomously in the real world—from getting a chip bag from a kitchen to sorting blocks by color into corners of a rectangle.

According to the researchers, this is the largest Visual Language Model (VLM) reported to date, with 562 billion parameters. This AI has a “wide array of capabilities” which includes math reasoning, multi-image reasoning, and chain-of-thought reasoning. [...] the AI uses multi-task training to transfer skills across tasks, rather than being trained on individual tasks. [...] the AI model when controlling robots even displays "emergent capabilities like multimodal chain of thought reasoning, and the ability to reason over multiple images, despite being trained on only single-image prompts."

PaLM-E is based on Google’s previous large language model called PaLM and the E in the name stands for “embodied,” and refers to the model’s interaction with physical objects and robotic control. [...]

The robot is able to generate its own plan of action in response to commands using the model. When the robot was asked to “bring me the rice chips from the drawer,” PaLM-E was able to guide it to go to the drawers, open the top drawer, take the rice chips out of the drawer, bring it to the user, and put it down. The robot was able to do this even with a human disturbance, with a researcher knocking the rice chips back into the drawer the first time the robot picked it up. PaLM-E is able to do this by analyzing data from its live camera.

[...] “This enables not only embodied reasoning but also question answering, as demonstrated in our experiments.”

[...] “Perhaps most exciting about PaLM-E is positive transfer: simultaneously training PaLM-E across several domains, including internet-scale general vision-language tasks, leads to significantly higher performance compared to single-task robot models.”

Big Tech Is Now Developing Powerful AI Brains for Real-World Robots



It's amazing how one individual's happy post can be another's groove post.

This AI stuff is really starting to concern me. At least this one seems to be going towards furthering automation instead of encroaching on creative spaces.


We should be more clear here. This is machine learning. Not AI. We are a far way off from proper AI. Machine learning is wild, but scary it’s not. It’s algorithms and instructions.
"When the last tree has fallen, and the rivers are poisoned, you cannot eat money, oh no." ~Aurora

“Someone will always try to sell you despair, just so they don't feel alone.” ~Ursula Vernon
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#29573 User is offline   worry 

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Posted 15 March 2023 - 01:47 AM

I’m scared of instructions. You want this microwaved for how long?! Panel B slides into Slot What?! Take 2 every 12 hours or you die?!?!
They came with white hands and left with red hands.
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#29574 User is offline   Slow Ben 

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Posted 15 March 2023 - 02:03 AM

View Postworry, on 15 March 2023 - 01:47 AM, said:

I’m scared of instructions. You want this microwaved for how long?! Panel B slides into Slot What?! Take 2 every 12 hours or you die?!?!


And you throw them away! But have to get them back out of the trash because you forgot what the instructions say?!?!
I've always been crazy but its kept me from going insane.
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#29575 User is offline   Abyss 

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Posted 15 March 2023 - 04:46 AM

View PostQuickTidal, on 15 March 2023 - 01:34 AM, said:

View PostJPK, on 14 March 2023 - 08:12 PM, said:

View PostAzath Vitr (D, on 14 March 2023 - 07:34 PM, said:

Posted Image

The World Will Change Next Week

Also:

Quote

Researchers at Google [...] released an AI model called PaLM-E this week that combines language and vision capabilities to control robots, allowing them to complete tasks autonomously in the real world—from getting a chip bag from a kitchen to sorting blocks by color into corners of a rectangle.

According to the researchers, this is the largest Visual Language Model (VLM) reported to date, with 562 billion parameters. This AI has a “wide array of capabilities” which includes math reasoning, multi-image reasoning, and chain-of-thought reasoning. [...] the AI uses multi-task training to transfer skills across tasks, rather than being trained on individual tasks. [...] the AI model when controlling robots even displays "emergent capabilities like multimodal chain of thought reasoning, and the ability to reason over multiple images, despite being trained on only single-image prompts."

PaLM-E is based on Google’s previous large language model called PaLM and the E in the name stands for “embodied,” and refers to the model’s interaction with physical objects and robotic control. [...]

The robot is able to generate its own plan of action in response to commands using the model. When the robot was asked to “bring me the rice chips from the drawer,” PaLM-E was able to guide it to go to the drawers, open the top drawer, take the rice chips out of the drawer, bring it to the user, and put it down. The robot was able to do this even with a human disturbance, with a researcher knocking the rice chips back into the drawer the first time the robot picked it up. PaLM-E is able to do this by analyzing data from its live camera.

[...] “This enables not only embodied reasoning but also question answering, as demonstrated in our experiments.”

[...] “Perhaps most exciting about PaLM-E is positive transfer: simultaneously training PaLM-E across several domains, including internet-scale general vision-language tasks, leads to significantly higher performance compared to single-task robot models.”

Big Tech Is Now Developing Powerful AI Brains for Real-World Robots



It's amazing how one individual's happy post can be another's groove post.

This AI stuff is really starting to concern me. At least this one seems to be going towards furthering automation instead of encroaching on creative spaces.


We should be more clear here. This is machine learning. Not AI. We are a far way off from proper AI. Machine learning is wild, but scary it’s not. It’s algorithms and instructions.


Yeah, that's what the Replicants said just before Skynet took over and put us all in the Matrix.
.
THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
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#29576 User is offline   TheRetiredBridgeburner 

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Posted 15 March 2023 - 06:48 AM

View Postamphibian, on 14 March 2023 - 10:09 PM, said:

To me, it felt like giving him the reasons would first provide bargaining points that I don't feel like he'd live up to long term anyways and second, I think it hurts to hear specifically the reasons that a person thinks you're a shitty roommate while the bigger conversation is "Get out in 30 days".

I don't actually mind the taking of a small thing (clean the clippers before returning them almost immediately and let me know so that I can clean them too), but keeping it for days on no notice means that build-up of little frictions that I don't want between me and anyone other than a romantic partner.

I've made clear before that I prefer this to be clean, I ask that you not park in a way that blocks others from getting out, please don't wreck my kitchen utensils, put your shoes on the multiple shoe racks I bought and conveniently located etc. The responses and long term habits haven't been great even if they're not bad or confrontational.

So now that he's in decent shape, he can go make his own rules in his own place.


I think you've been accommodating for longer than a lot of people would have managed, by the sounds of things. I hope he proceeds to move out with a minimum of fuss in the end and you can have your space back.
- Wyrd bið ful aræd -
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#29577 User is offline   Mezla PigDog 

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Posted 15 March 2023 - 07:36 AM

Definitely.

Messing with my groove is that I am seriously feeling the pinch of parenting on my career development. It's extremely irritating. I have felt it over the last few years but it didn't bother me so much but now I'm getting frustrated. It boils down to not being able to travel a lot and speak at conferences and do extra work for professional associations. I guess it is bothering me now because previously the person who was utilising my work to build their name was a woman senior to me who was very generous with my work / life balance in return and always made sure I got the credit I was due. She left the business and has been replaced by a man who is dumping all the work on me, sucking up my knowledge and experience and making it his own externally. I can't not let him have access to my work as it would be unprofessional but I am seriously tempted to start being a bitch.

I need to keep sucking it up until my son is a bit older but it's so frustrating.
Burn rubber =/= warp speed
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#29578 User is offline   Maark Abbott 

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Posted 15 March 2023 - 08:51 AM

Got a meeting with boss at two to discuss the situation. I may have a solution in the meantime, but I'm gonna see what boss says before I commit to anything. If I can find my dead car's logbook we can sorn and scrap her, and free up the driveway. Transferring companies will boost my wage enough that April payday onwards is manageable - but it's just getting there first.
Debut novel 'Incarnate' now available on Kindle
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#29579 User is offline   TheRetiredBridgeburner 

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Posted 15 March 2023 - 10:38 AM

View PostMezla PigDog, on 15 March 2023 - 07:36 AM, said:

Definitely.

Messing with my groove is that I am seriously feeling the pinch of parenting on my career development. It's extremely irritating. I have felt it over the last few years but it didn't bother me so much but now I'm getting frustrated. It boils down to not being able to travel a lot and speak at conferences and do extra work for professional associations. I guess it is bothering me now because previously the person who was utilising my work to build their name was a woman senior to me who was very generous with my work / life balance in return and always made sure I got the credit I was due. She left the business and has been replaced by a man who is dumping all the work on me, sucking up my knowledge and experience and making it his own externally. I can't not let him have access to my work as it would be unprofessional but I am seriously tempted to start being a bitch.

I need to keep sucking it up until my son is a bit older but it's so frustrating.


A friend of mine has hit this point with her job too. Their first child was 2 yesterday and they are trying to plan timing wise for a second. She's a solicitor and last time we talked I think she's considering leaving law altogether because she feels so punished for having a family in terms of current progression and likelihood of it in future. Success seems to be measured by having no life outside of work and the hours you work reflecting such. Another left academia altogether because she said there was no point trying to remain in it once she'd had two rounds of maternity leave when all they'll do is pay fresh PHD students less than her to do the role. I've really had my eyes opened the last few years by friends with children to just how punitive having a family can be on a career, I confess I wildly underestimated it.

I really hope you can find a solution where you get the credit you deserve (and curse his name in as many tongues as possible in the meantime!).


View PostMaark Abbott, on 15 March 2023 - 08:51 AM, said:

Got a meeting with boss at two to discuss the situation. I may have a solution in the meantime, but I'm gonna see what boss says before I commit to anything. If I can find my dead car's logbook we can sorn and scrap her, and free up the driveway. Transferring companies will boost my wage enough that April payday onwards is manageable - but it's just getting there first.


Fingers crossed for you Maark!

This post has been edited by TheRetiredBridgeburner: 15 March 2023 - 10:39 AM

- Wyrd bið ful aræd -
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#29580 User is offline   Mezla PigDog 

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Posted 15 March 2023 - 03:51 PM

View PostTheRetiredBridgeburner, on 15 March 2023 - 10:38 AM, said:

View PostMezla PigDog, on 15 March 2023 - 07:36 AM, said:

Definitely.

Messing with my groove is that I am seriously feeling the pinch of parenting on my career development. It's extremely irritating. I have felt it over the last few years but it didn't bother me so much but now I'm getting frustrated. It boils down to not being able to travel a lot and speak at conferences and do extra work for professional associations. I guess it is bothering me now because previously the person who was utilising my work to build their name was a woman senior to me who was very generous with my work / life balance in return and always made sure I got the credit I was due. She left the business and has been replaced by a man who is dumping all the work on me, sucking up my knowledge and experience and making it his own externally. I can't not let him have access to my work as it would be unprofessional but I am seriously tempted to start being a bitch.

I need to keep sucking it up until my son is a bit older but it's so frustrating.


A friend of mine has hit this point with her job too. Their first child was 2 yesterday and they are trying to plan timing wise for a second. She's a solicitor and last time we talked I think she's considering leaving law altogether because she feels so punished for having a family in terms of current progression and likelihood of it in future. Success seems to be measured by having no life outside of work and the hours you work reflecting such. Another left academia altogether because she said there was no point trying to remain in it once she'd had two rounds of maternity leave when all they'll do is pay fresh PHD students less than her to do the role. I've really had my eyes opened the last few years by friends with children to just how punitive having a family can be on a career, I confess I wildly underestimated it.

I really hope you can find a solution where you get the credit you deserve (and curse his name in as many tongues as possible in the meantime!).



Advice I would give to your friends: The one who is a solicitor - have the second baby whenever she wants and ride out any shitty behaviour by the current employer, so long as it is tolerable, milk them for maternity leave pay etc. Then move on when the kids are at a more manageable age if the company hasn't improved it's approach. My son is 7 soon and I can see it on the horizon. Two years old is nothing - she is in survival territory right now and just has to keep her head above water. She may have to wait longer if she has more than one kid though.

The friend who got out of academia did the right thing. There are not many sectors for people with significant volumes of qualifications that treat women with kids worse.

I have to say that I am lucky. My company is really good to me in terms of internal progression. I've been promoted twice since maternity leave. I'm thinking of my next career step outside this company and if I don't improve my external profile, I won't get as big a step as I could. It's irritating watching mostly men swanning around the speaking circuit and knowing they probably have a woman at home holding the fort with the kids and they don't need to give a second thought to the career advantage they have. Mr PigDog does his fair share but I'd have to be away overnight a few times a month and working weekends and evenings more often to keep up. And I consider myself lucky!!
Burn rubber =/= warp speed
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