[Macros]

We were at the annual parkinsons fundraising table quiz.
Ended up a three way tie.
Bonus round, four questions, still tied up.
One member from each team goes up, first to shout out a correct answer wins.

I was nominated to go up.
We lose.


Now I was nominated because...

In round 3 (of 8) there was a very simple question, what genre of music is Miles Davis well-known for.
It's Jazz
I write Jazz down.
On my little side note where we write down our answer to keep a tab of our scores etc.

But what did I write on the actual answer sheet?
Miles Davis


What the fuck, I will not be allowed to forget this

[Whisperzzzzzzz]

Dating. I was on a first date tonight with a woman who I was really into...and she couldn't wait to leave.

I'm gonna take a break from dating until I get back from Thailand and Japan in January. There's only so much heartbreak I can handle.

[Whisperzzzzzzz]

BfuckinK, on 26 October 2019 - 01:37 AM, said:

Bring one home from Japan.

I will meet my Mariko from Terrace House! The Mitsuha to my Taki.

That'd be nice.

[Tiste Simeon]

Macros, on 25 October 2019 - 11:27 PM, said:

We were at the annual parkinsons fundraising table quiz.
Ended up a three way tie.
Bonus round, four questions, still tied up.
One member from each team goes up, first to shout out a correct answer wins.

I was nominated to go up.
We lose.


Now I was nominated because...

In round 3 (of 8) there was a very simple question, what genre of music is Miles Davis well-known for.
It's Jazz
I write Jazz down.
On my little side note where we write down our answer to keep a tab of our scores etc.

But what did I write on the actual answer sheet?
Miles Davis


What the fuck, I will not be allowed to forget this

Hah that gave me a good chuckle, I'll not lie.

[Morgoth]

Whisperzzzzzzz, on 26 October 2019 - 01:26 AM, said:

Dating. I was on a first date tonight with a woman who I was really into...and she couldn't wait to leave.

I'm gonna take a break from dating until I get back from Thailand and Japan in January. There's only so much heartbreak I can handle.

That happens, but at least you were interesting enough to go on a date with. Chemistry is a tricky thing, and more often than not it isn't there, no matter how much you'd wish it to be. Was this a dating app thing?

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

Longstanding close friend has had a rough time the last year or so (I'm aware of the circumstances) - but in the last few months has also been behaving in a completely unacceptable fashion with me and (if the long piteous ramble about "pushing people away" on FB is anything to go by) others too.

I'm at the uncomfortable stage where I think leaving them to it in the hope they snap out of it is actually the only option that doesn't end in a very angry confrontation in the not very distant future. Attempts to tackle it gently by me and another friend have just led to a massive increase in the same problem.

I always try and be compassionate, but I can't help but note the fact that even taking into account the circumstances, I honestly thought they were a better person than this.

This post has been edited by TheRetiredBridgeburner: 29 October 2019 - 11:34 AM

[Tiste Simeon]

Don't get yourself dragged in any further. It'll only lead to more drama and hurt for you. I know you and you're a very caring person but you're right in that there has to be a cut off point. Sounds like you're doing the right thing.

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

Tiste Simeon, on 29 October 2019 - 11:36 AM, said:

Don't get yourself dragged in any further. It'll only lead to more drama and hurt for you. I know you and you're a very caring person but you're right in that there has to be a cut off point. Sounds like you're doing the right thing.

Thanks Tiste I go very quickly down the hole of worrying I'm being a bad friend, so the encouragement was very timely!

[Tiste Simeon]

Caring for someone who won't give back will burn you out. Also we didn't say you were allowed friends outside of the Malazan Empire so you need to get rid anyway!

[Maark Abbott]

Sometimes the best thing to do with people in that situation is force them into a position where they have to confront themselves. Once they have done that they might open up to a point where reconciliation is possible.

But I think for your own safety (in the sense of mental wellbeing) you need that distance for now.

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

Maark Abbott, on 30 October 2019 - 08:35 AM, said:

Sometimes the best thing to do with people in that situation is force them into a position where they have to confront themselves. Once they have done that they might open up to a point where reconciliation is possible.

But I think for your own safety (in the sense of mental wellbeing) you need that distance for now.

I agree. That ramble I referred to included a reference to "coming across as selfish and pushing people away". Perhaps it does need someone to tackle that head on in the way you suggest, but as you and Tiste both hit on, it really can't be me at the moment.

[Maark Abbott]

TheRetiredBridgeburner, on 30 October 2019 - 08:50 AM, said:

Maark Abbott, on 30 October 2019 - 08:35 AM, said:

Sometimes the best thing to do with people in that situation is force them into a position where they have to confront themselves. Once they have done that they might open up to a point where reconciliation is possible.

But I think for your own safety (in the sense of mental wellbeing) you need that distance for now.

I agree. That ramble I referred to included a reference to "coming across as selfish and pushing people away". Perhaps it does need someone to tackle that head on in the way you suggest, but as you and Tiste both hit on, it really can't be me at the moment.

Ah, I meant more that they will have to tackle it headlong themselves. Sudden realisation and all that.

Could be someone else does it, but that's by the by.

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

Ah, I get you.

I completely agree. Part of me also thinks if you can bemoan your own behaviour on FB in the hope people feel sorry for you, you can kick yourself up the arse, take responsibility and sort out said behaviour too. But that might be a bit simplistic.

[Abyss]

TheRetiredBridgeburner, on 30 October 2019 - 01:46 PM, said:

Ah, I get you.

I completely agree. Part of me also thinks if you can bemoan your own behaviour on FB in the hope people feel sorry for you, you can kick yourself up the arse, take responsibility and sort out said behaviour too. But that might be a bit simplistic.

My $.02CDN: it's nonsense, not serious, amounts to 'waaah pay attention to me everything bad i've done is excuseable because waaaah'. Personal experience/opinion.... i am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, telepath, or empath, and i deny all allegations related to the devourage of brainz and related effects... that's the vast majority of instances where someone posts any form of self-flaggelatory 'boohoo i am a horrible person everyone should desert me ' on any form of social media going back to early bb boards.

If this person actually has any form of genuine mental health issue, social media response is unlikely to make a difference to their issues or efforts to deal.

More likely, they've been an asshat and are trying to wipe the slate clean without apology or correction by generating sympathy. You have to be nice to me because i'm wounded in my feels.

Want to see how serious it is....? Ignore it. Conduct business as usual. Communicate however you were before. Do not acknowledge the nonsense in any way. if i'm right, you'll get some version of 'i suppose you saw my post'... and faced with 'No, did you post something?' you'll get 'just go read it' thus, it's all bullshit but they want you to witness their glorious drama (side benefit: the fact you weren't paying attention drives them nuts), or 'oh, well, i'd like to talk to you about something', in which case there is a tiny shred of possibility the feels are real because they'r engaging as a human and not a performance piece, or 'yeah, i was venting, never mind' which is self-explanatory.


Alternately just ambush them and eat their brainz and all will be revealed, with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

...of course, i could be wrong.

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

Brains it is!

[Macros]

Powers out

[Tsundoku]

So you'll be a daddy in 9 months?

[Mezla PigDog]

Mr PigDogs family are falling to bits. His brother was beaten up last weekend. He has spinal cord damage and may not regain full movement in his arms and hands. Too early to say either way for now but he has a long road ahead. Their mum and dad are both in their 80s and in poor health and his brother was caring for both of them. We live over 200 miles away. So I'm a single parent for a bit while he goes to help his sister out but it feels like a bleak picture longer term. I just feel rotten for them all for now. 2019 is going down as one of those years to forget.

[Grief]

That's awful Mez, really sorry to hear it.

[Macros]

Shit Mez that's grim. Sorry to hear