[LadyMTL]

I have zero experience with midwifes, childbirth and / or motherhood - I doubt that having owned cats counts, heh - but I have seen firsthand how judgy people can get when it comes to babies and child-rearing, and sad to say it's often women who are doing the judging; as a woman myself, I often feel like smacking them. Breastfeed or bottle? Arguments. Disposable diapers or reusable diapers? Arguments. Best way to potty train? Arguments. It baffles me, because if it's not your child then it's not your business. Unless the other party is doing something illegal or downright harmful, shut your pie hole...I don't care if you are a midwife.

And if this one is actually giving medical advice and diagnosing things that she's not qualified to touch with a ten foot pole, she should be fired or have her license suspended, at the very least.

This post has been edited by LadyMTL: 27 April 2017 - 11:24 AM

[QuickTidal]

So my dad, in his retirement, has been spending lots of time going through the thousands of negatives of photos he looks when my sister and I were kids and scanning them, cleaning them up into digital (he was a photographer in his work then, so there are a LOT). And he sends selections to me over email, and I get to reminisce about my childhood. It's good fun, if a bit melancholy at times.

Today he sent me photos from a summer vacation we took in the Muskoka's (before we had a cottage there). I was around 5ish I think. Anyways, it was at this lakeside resort...so I thought I'd look up the resort and see if it's still around (when we went in the early 80's, it had been around since the 1940's)...and it was sold off 20 years back, the land broken up and sold...and the majority of the property now belongs to one massive cottage.

I'm not sure why, but knowing this place is gone...where my family had a nice summer together about 7 years before my parents split up...makes me a bit sad.

[Loki]

My friend who just had a baby is feeling really upset because the midwives have been telling her she can't go home until she successfully breastfeeds which isn't true.

Both mum and baby are healthy and baby is feeding from a bottle whilst my friend keeps trying to get breastfeeding to work (it's a production issue, not a latching issue). There's no medical reason for them to remain in hospital. Especially since outside of hospital there are free breastfeeding clinics you can attend as well as community health nurse visits etc.

She's been there two days now solely on the basis that she can't breastfeed yet. Turns out the midwives told the doctor my friend *wanted* to stay because she didn't feel comfortable leaving the hospital yet.

My friend is upset and angry and feels like the people she's supposed to be relying on for her and her daughter's well-being aren't trustworthy.

And one of them had the nerve to tell her that if she didn't keep trying to get milk production to happen it would mean she was choosing not to give her daughter the best start at life possible.

My friend has a medical condition that often affects milk production so her chances of breastfeeding weren't great to begin with and now she is feeling even more guilty about not being able to breastfeed because some midwife couldn't keep her opinions to herself.

I'm just waiting for my friend to get home before I put in a very lengthy formal complaint to the head of department.

[QuickTidal]

Loki, on 27 April 2017 - 04:59 PM, said:

My friend who just had a baby is feeling really upset because the midwives have been telling her she can't go home until she successfully breastfeeds which isn't true.

Both mum and baby are healthy and baby is feeding from a bottle whilst my friend keeps trying to get breastfeeding to work (it's a production issue, not a latching issue). There's no medical reason for them to remain in hospital. Especially since outside of hospital there are free breastfeeding clinics you can attend as well as community health nurse visits etc.

She's been there two days now solely on the basis that she can't breastfeed yet. Turns out the midwives told the doctor my friend *wanted* to stay because she didn't feel comfortable leaving the hospital yet.

My friend is upset and angry and feels like the people she's supposed to be relying on for her and her daughter's well-being aren't trustworthy.

And one of them had the nerve to tell her that if she didn't keep trying to get milk production to happen it would mean she was choosing not to give her daughter the best start at life possible.

My friend has a medical condition that often affects milk production so her chances of breastfeeding weren't great to begin with and now she is feeling even more guilty about not being able to breastfeed because some midwife couldn't keep her opinions to herself.

I'm just waiting for my friend to get home before I put in a very lengthy formal complaint to the head of department.

What the ever-loving fuck is going on in Australia? Your friend can go home any time she likes. And if she bottle feeds her daughter, that is no ones business but her own. Literally the only thing we HAD to do before we were allowed to leave there hospital from a legal standpoint was show them we had a carseat and our daughter was buckled into it correctly.

These people trying to prevent her from going, and making her feel bad about this to boot should be fired or kicked out of the hospital permanently. I would be SO incensed by this.

[Loki]

My friend is too tired and overwhelmed and vulnerable at the moment to be incensed which makes me even more angry on her behalf.

Unfortunately, this isn't uncommon in Australia. It's actually a big issue within the health profession and causes a lot of tension. The idea was that midwives on maternity wards would give women greater support during and after the birth. It would also be easier to staff them as they don't need a full nursing degree. But there is very little regulation or oversight beyond that. And they often butt heads with doctors over patient care. They're supposed to be advocates for new mums but more often than not they advocate their own beliefs and agendas.

The worst bit is, despite being made aware that the midwives lied nothing will be done about it. Midwives are a self contained department seperate from the nursing department. So unless they do something that actively endangers a life there's no outside oversight.

She is going to tell them that she wants to go home but she's afraid they'll make her stay. I'm trying to explain that they can't do that but my friend's just tired and upset and not up for a fight. Thankfully Matador is on nights so if she has any trouble I'm just going to send him down there to make sure it gets done.

This post has been edited by Loki: 27 April 2017 - 05:33 PM

[QuickTidal]

Loki, on 27 April 2017 - 05:30 PM, said:

My friend is too tired and overwhelmed and vulnerable at the moment to be incensed which makes me even more angry on her behalf.

Unfortunately, this isn't uncommon in Australia. It's actually a big issue within the health profession and causes a lot of tension. The idea was that midwives on maternity wards would give women greater support during and after the birth. It would also be easier to staff them as they don't need a full nursing degree. But there is very little regulation or oversight beyond that. And they often butt heads with doctors over patient care. They're supposed to be advocates for new mums but more often than not they advocate their own beliefs and agendas.

The worst bit is, despite being made aware that the midwives lied nothing will be done about it. Midwives are a self contained department seperate from the nursing department. So unless they do something that actively endangers a life there's no outside oversight.

She is going to tell them that she wants to go home but she's afraid they'll make her stay. I'm trying to explain that they can't do that but my friend's just tired and upset and not up for a fight. Thankfully Matador is on nights so if she has any trouble I'm just going to send him down there to make sure it gets done.

Oh geez. That's awful. At least she's got you on her side batting for her. What a shitshow.

[Lady Bliss]

I have to travel again next week, and I've been having fear of flying problems the last few trips... I know it's ridiculous, but I actually just considered faking the flu.

[Loki]

Lady Bliss, on 27 April 2017 - 11:20 PM, said:

I have to travel again next week, and I've been having fear of flying problems the last few trips... I know it's ridiculous, but I actually just considered faking the flu.

There's nothing ridiculous about a fear of flying, even if it is only a new fear. I lost all interests in roller-coasters and theme rides after my son was born despite loving them since a kid.

If it's that bad that you are considering faking illness then it might be time to talk to someone professional about it. It might be a front for something else or you may now have a genuine fear.

Is flying something you have to do for work a lot? Could you just tell them that you can no longer do it?

[Lady Bliss]

Loki, on 27 April 2017 - 11:27 PM, said:

Lady Bliss, on 27 April 2017 - 11:20 PM, said:

I have to travel again next week, and I've been having fear of flying problems the last few trips... I know it's ridiculous, but I actually just considered faking the flu.

There's nothing ridiculous about a fear of flying, even if it is only a new fear. I lost all interests in roller-coasters and theme rides after my son was born despite loving them since a kid.

If it's that bad that you are considering faking illness then it might be time to talk to someone professional about it. It might be a front for something else or you may now have a genuine fear.

Is flying something you have to do for work a lot? Could you just tell them that you can no longer do it?

I think it's a fear of loss of control, so maybe you are right and I'm displacing another problem. I'll have to think about that!

Unfortunately, ATM I'm going about once a month... so it's often enough to kind of suck. I've been trying to psych myself up on the restaurants I'll get to visit and things to do.

[Silencer]

Loki, on 27 April 2017 - 05:30 PM, said:

My friend is too tired and overwhelmed and vulnerable at the moment to be incensed which makes me even more angry on her behalf.

Unfortunately, this isn't uncommon in Australia. It's actually a big issue within the health profession and causes a lot of tension. The idea was that midwives on maternity wards would give women greater support during and after the birth. It would also be easier to staff them as they don't need a full nursing degree. But there is very little regulation or oversight beyond that. And they often butt heads with doctors over patient care. They're supposed to be advocates for new mums but more often than not they advocate their own beliefs and agendas.

The worst bit is, despite being made aware that the midwives lied nothing will be done about it. Midwives are a self contained department seperate from the nursing department. So unless they do something that actively endangers a life there's no outside oversight.

She is going to tell them that she wants to go home but she's afraid they'll make her stay. I'm trying to explain that they can't do that but my friend's just tired and upset and not up for a fight. Thankfully Matador is on nights so if she has any trouble I'm just going to send him down there to make sure it gets done.

At this point, I'm starting to get worked up about this, and I don't even know the person! What sort of midwife effectively detains a new mother against her will, while lying to the hospital to make it seem like its their own choice? ARGH.

[Abyss]

Silencer, on 28 April 2017 - 04:28 AM, said:

Loki, on 27 April 2017 - 05:30 PM, said:

My friend is too tired and overwhelmed and vulnerable at the moment to be incensed which makes me even more angry on her behalf.

Unfortunately, this isn't uncommon in Australia. It's actually a big issue within the health profession and causes a lot of tension. The idea was that midwives on maternity wards would give women greater support during and after the birth. It would also be easier to staff them as they don't need a full nursing degree. But there is very little regulation or oversight beyond that. And they often butt heads with doctors over patient care. They're supposed to be advocates for new mums but more often than not they advocate their own beliefs and agendas.

The worst bit is, despite being made aware that the midwives lied nothing will be done about it. Midwives are a self contained department seperate from the nursing department. So unless they do something that actively endangers a life there's no outside oversight.

She is going to tell them that she wants to go home but she's afraid they'll make her stay. I'm trying to explain that they can't do that but my friend's just tired and upset and not up for a fight. Thankfully Matador is on nights so if she has any trouble I'm just going to send him down there to make sure it gets done.

At this point, I'm starting to get worked up about this, and I don't even know the person! What sort of midwife effectively detains a new mother against her will, while lying to the hospital to make it seem like its their own choice? ARGH.

Seriously, if this were me/my partner, I would have unleashed so much hell by now.

[HoosierDaddy]

Abyss, on 29 April 2017 - 03:15 AM, said:

Silencer, on 28 April 2017 - 04:28 AM, said:

Loki, on 27 April 2017 - 05:30 PM, said:

My friend is too tired and overwhelmed and vulnerable at the moment to be incensed which makes me even more angry on her behalf.

Unfortunately, this isn't uncommon in Australia. It's actually a big issue within the health profession and causes a lot of tension. The idea was that midwives on maternity wards would give women greater support during and after the birth. It would also be easier to staff them as they don't need a full nursing degree. But there is very little regulation or oversight beyond that. And they often butt heads with doctors over patient care. They're supposed to be advocates for new mums but more often than not they advocate their own beliefs and agendas.

The worst bit is, despite being made aware that the midwives lied nothing will be done about it. Midwives are a self contained department seperate from the nursing department. So unless they do something that actively endangers a life there's no outside oversight.

She is going to tell them that she wants to go home but she's afraid they'll make her stay. I'm trying to explain that they can't do that but my friend's just tired and upset and not up for a fight. Thankfully Matador is on nights so if she has any trouble I'm just going to send him down there to make sure it gets done.

At this point, I'm starting to get worked up about this, and I don't even know the person! What sort of midwife effectively detains a new mother against her will, while lying to the hospital to make it seem like its their own choice? ARGH.

Seriously, if this were me/my partner, I would have unleashed so much hell by now.

This is so ridiculous. Can't they just leave? Is there something keeping her there? If not, pack up and go. If so it's something to deal with as best they can do it and then leave. State (national) governments usually have some control over newborns as they are now "persons."

[caladanbrood]

I'm just trying to get home. I was in the US for almost a month wefor work, flew from Raleigh (North Carolina) to JFK. When in JFK I then had a four hour stopover, only to find out 5 minutes before boarding, that the flight was cancelled due to "maintenance".

Then 2 hours standing in a queue to rebook another flight ("can't get you back to Manchester love, Heathrow is your only option"), another hour trying to locate my bags which were supposed to go through all the way to Manchester, 45 minutes trying to check in again for the new flight, 2 hours to go back through security just to get back to where I was standing 6 hours earlier. Then an extra 20 minutes to go allllllll the way down to the duty-free shop I bought some chocolates from earlier, because they deliver it to the gate, and obviously then don't know where to deliver it to.

At this stage, I had 15 minutes before boarding, I had to buy a new t-shirt because I was running around like a fucking loon, and someone decided to turn on all the heaters....

Then a flight to the wrong city. Heathrow Express to Paddington, another 15 minutes to find the underground in Paddington station, because apparently there's no need to signpost it. Hammersmith & City line to Euston Square, which is only four short flights of stairs (carrying all my luggage from a month travelling, including antique brick-built laptop), nearly getting run over getting from Euston Square to actual Euston. Another sprint to catch the train...

Now I'm on the train, I've upgraded myself to first class, because fuck the fucking world right now!

Just one more leg, a taxi from Stockport back home. By that point it will be 28 hours since I last slept.

I'm not travelling again for a really really long time.

[Illuyankas]

41 pages of threads and 1021 new entries since March 18th, 2016. Yeah I'm not reading all those.

[Malankazooie]

Illuyankas, on 29 April 2017 - 03:47 PM, said:

41 pages of threads and 1021 new entries since March 18th, 2016. Yeah I'm not reading all those.

Just get your beautiful self over to the The USA Politics Thread and start right around when Trump was elected (Nov. 8) and then let that sharp wit and anger tear some new assholes over they, okay?

[Messremb]

caladanbrood, on 29 April 2017 - 12:04 PM, said:

another 15 minutes to find the underground in Paddington station, because apparently there's no need to signpost it.

The gaping maw in the ground disgorging huge numbers of people isn't obvious enough?

[HoosierDaddy]

Just talked to a kid going to prom in the lot. 20 fucking years ago I was going to prom. Where'd my life go?

[Slow Ben]

Yep. 20 year reunion in June.

Not old, just mature.

[Gust Hubb]

Hi. Long time.

Bilateral pink eye, courtesy of chronically sick kids who have no concept of germ theory.

[Slow Ben]

Rain! So much rain. Flood warnings everywhere.