Andorion, on 03 December 2016 - 05:56 PM, said:
Puck, on 03 December 2016 - 07:05 AM, said:
Andorion, on 03 December 2016 - 01:38 AM, said:
QuickTidal, on 02 December 2016 - 05:37 PM, said:
Andorion, on 02 December 2016 - 04:51 PM, said:
I am going to moan for a bit. Feel free to ignore
I seriously hate my life right now
My PhD feels like its going nowhere. I have data. Huge huge amounts of data. I am going through archives other researchers have not touched. Yet I have no clue how it all comes together. How do I turn this into a coherent thesis? I am seriously stressed out over this.
my health is not what it should be. My allergy is totally out of control. On the days of allergy attacks, I can barely breathe let alone work. I am on the latest gen of meds, dosage is high, but they can't keep up with the air pollution. All of this means I amnot exercising. I need to lose weight. But how can I do that when I am coughing and wheezing.
And all of this is making me depressed. I am having more and more trouble snapping out of it.
And I always feel like I don't have enough time. My reading time is down, I have not touched a game in weeks. I want to play Fifa, I want to learn Skyrim, but there is no time. Its this conscious anxious prodding on the back of my mind - no time.
And I averaging less than 5 hours of sleep over the last few months. I have no clue whether that is bad or not.
To be honest I think I am having self-harm type thoughts. The other day I caught myself staring at the pointed end of my table and thinking how nice it would feel to just smash my forehead onto it.
I don't really know what to do
Sheeeesh
Vent over
The depression is understandable when everything is that tough right now. I can sympathize, as it's happened to me before. My best advice is to A) make time for your hobbies. Those will bring you joy, and that type of small life affirmation cannot be undersold with regards to your mental health. Example: Whenever I am super down, I'll go to the bookstore and browse. It's not even about buying a book. It's just that atmosphere is calming to me. B ) Are there places near you that you can go to to get away? Like a hiking trail, or something like that? Doesn't have to be super far, but somewhere with less people (or at least less chaotic than a city venue). Just walk and take in your scenery. It sounds so trite but a good long walk in the woods or the like can do wonders for mental (and physical) health.
EDIT to add: I agree with Amph's recco to see a therapist if you can. A solid idea. They can help parse all the tangled issues you are experiencing, and help you with them.
5 hours sleep is tight, but before I had kids I operated off 6hours sleep for probably a decade. My father and grandmother before me also did this. So it;'s not like you always need 8 if you can't get it. You SHOULD, however, try to give yourself an 8hour uninterrupted night every week or two to recharge.
Lastly, I know that things can get rough and that might lead to some untoward thoughts, but I hope you don't do anything rash to yourself when you get to the end of your tether. I know that's hard. But honestly, any time you have those thoughts....that should be your signal to walk away. Thats' your brain telling you that something isn't right, and you NEED a break. Get a hike in. Go to a place you love. Or visit with someone you love. Do something the complete opposite of what you were doing when you had those notions. I can't stress that enough. Just get up and go and do something else. Even if it means sacrificing pHd study time...just give yourself that break.
And we are always here when you need us. You can PM me any time to chat man. Honestly.
Thanks a lot QT
Regarding hobbies - I think I need to give music some more time. Before my free time used to be shared between reading, gaming, and music. I can't really game anymore as most of my games were the time-intensive planning games - Civilisation, Rome Total War, Empire Earth and FIFA. But due to time constraints I have seriously reduced my music and my reading is now commute/waiting-time reading with about an hour at home. Maybe I should find a way to start listening to music again
Music is a great way to relieve stress for he moment as it channels emotions. At least, I habe found that it helps me more often than not to use loud music I love to get over bad moments.
Also, as has been said, your PhD will not deine your life. It is a stage in it, and apart from whether you pass or not, nobody's will be judging you based on it. It's easy to get lost in the idea to have to deliver something great, but actually, it's not the end point of something, but a start to something new.
I didn't do a PhD, but when I was doing my final project, I used to stress out badly about HAVING to do something spectacular. In the end, nobody's gives a damn, and I have found I have both grown through the experience and gotten way better since then. Basically, it's the access you get to the next stage of life, not the end goal of it.
Andorion, on 03 December 2016 - 01:51 AM, said:
Puck, on 02 December 2016 - 09:30 PM, said:
What has already been said, Ando. I'm bad at giving advice, but try to calm down and focus on the now, and the empire's always here if you need to rant/talk/whatever!
Also, since I'm totally getting the allergies thing.. It's long-term, but can you get any immunisation treatment? I usually takes at least three years, but may be worth it if it would help in the long run. Maybe talk to a doctor? The air pollution must be hell on your allergies
Immunisation is something I may actually have to talk to my doctor about as my allergies seem to be escalating.
Originally those little levocetrizine tablets would work. Then they didn't.
Now I take huge 180mg Fexofenadine tablets. And they worked, upto spring of this year. And now their effectiveness is greatly decreased.
Try it. At least talk to your doctor about it. The climate's too different where you are for me to give much advice, but they'be gotten a ways better at this than just a couple of years ago and any relief in the long run is worth it. I can now eat some stuff I couldn't for a while due to cross allergies and will see how it goes once allergy seasin hits for me.
Also, ask about cortisone shots. Doctors worth their name don't give them out easily, but your case sounds bad enough that it might be worth to get some relief during the worst time.
My doctor subscribes to the philosophy of minimal medication. He once apologised to me three times for prescribing a powerful antibiotic for an infection
Regarding music - over the years I have found two consistent things - if I want to calm down and feel a little sad, then Coldplay - specially their first two albums, and if I am feeling angry and I want to let all of it out, then Foo Fighters. They have some of the most authentic emotion-laden songs.
Uhh, maybe consider changing doctor?
No doctor should be apologising for prescribing antibiotics for an infection. That's stupid.
I can appreciate not wanting to over-prescribe. Or not wanting to be reliant on medicine for everyday living. But a doctor who knows what they are doing doesn't have that worry, because they only prescribe medication when it's necessary. You know, like antibiotics for an infection.
what on earth was the planned alternative? Hope and good thoughts?
Anyway, not to imply your doctor is incompetent, but just from that one anecdote he sounds a little bit over-cautious, possibly verging into CAM territory.
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