[Abyss]

QuickTidal, on 08 June 2016 - 02:46 PM, said:

Abyss, on 08 June 2016 - 02:36 PM, said:

QuickTidal, on 08 June 2016 - 12:55 PM, said:

Ugh, my one sister-in-law (wife's brother's wife) can be such a cantankerous JERK. ..... I also sit here thinking she WANTS us to be miserable so that she has company?

Yes, because otherwise she did something wrong, which is obviously unthinkable.

Ignore her. Stick to a periodic polite 'we`ll see how it goes`, and don't be drawn in by the inevitable `oh just you wait and see how right I am` response.

Yeah, that's generally what I'm doing. But man, she knows how to push my buttons.

You`re going to be a father. Work on that.




... or go for the CATASTROPHE approach (aside: funny show, worth a look) and just flat out tell her exactly what you think and see how that works out.

[QuickTidal]

Abyss, on 08 June 2016 - 03:23 PM, said:

QuickTidal, on 08 June 2016 - 02:46 PM, said:

Abyss, on 08 June 2016 - 02:36 PM, said:

QuickTidal, on 08 June 2016 - 12:55 PM, said:

Ugh, my one sister-in-law (wife's brother's wife) can be such a cantankerous JERK. ..... I also sit here thinking she WANTS us to be miserable so that she has company?

Yes, because otherwise she did something wrong, which is obviously unthinkable.

Ignore her. Stick to a periodic polite 'we`ll see how it goes`, and don't be drawn in by the inevitable `oh just you wait and see how right I am` response.

Yeah, that's generally what I'm doing. But man, she knows how to push my buttons.

You`re going to be a father. Work on that.

... or go for the CATASTROPHE approach (aside: funny show, worth a look) and just flat out tell her exactly what you think and see how that works out.

Heh, that would not go over well. She's a last word type of person, with a penchant for long-held grudges. I'm better off leaving it alone.

[Macros]

Going to be another late night tonight.
Office furnished us with the wrong drawings, based on the design that was fucking scrapped last year.
Couple this with the fallout of the poopsplosions yesterday its going to be a nightmare to get this handed over on time tomorrow afternoon

[amphibian]

QuickTidal, on 08 June 2016 - 12:55 PM, said:

Ugh, my one sister-in-law (wife's brother's wife) can be such a cantankerous JERK. Because she and her husband essentially put their careers first and had kids anyways...both kids ended up with behavioral problems as a result of the lack of time spent with either parent for their first couple of years (coupled with moving multiple times across the country). They aren't awful or anything, but they can be really bad (much worse than any other kids I've seen and interacted with in my family or amongst my friends)...and so my sister-in-law basically has this attitude like "Just WAIT till YOU have kids! This will be your life! And you'll be annoyed with life too."...and of course now that we ARE having a kid this rhetoric from her has ramped up and she finds a way to fit it into every single interaction we have with her. It irritates my wife (all the time) but I've always been able to keep it at arms length before this...now it's getting to me. I'm sitting here like "We get it, you had kids, and you find them to be an interminable chore...that does NOT mean that our relationship with our kid will necessarily be that strained...nor do I feel like I'm going to look at having had children as some kind of horrible burden."

Like I don't get it. I get that being a parent is tough, and that your time to yourself is minimal...but this was a choice we made, and I mean to see it through and be the best dad that I can possibly be. I don't want to ever have her attitude about it. And she brought it completely on herself (again because they put their careers first) but now complains all the time. I also sit here thinking she WANTS us to be miserable so that she has company?

She's coming off like she's trying to reassure herself about her choices by lecturing you about yours. It has very little to do with you and your family, so yeah, the best course is indeed to tune her out and minimize the time. Maybe in a couple years, when things have settled down for all of you, you can speak your mind and let the fallout begin. (Hopefully, by that time, she's happier and so is her family)

[amphibian]

What's messing with my groove is that I'm being a lazy scrub when I should be hustlin' more. At least my jiu jitsu and summer diet is good right now.

[RACHEL]

Quicktidal that sounds really annoying. I don't have kids but I have heard people say things like that and I think it is kind of annoying. On one hand I realize that you don't know parenthood until you have kids (even if you have an idea it never compares to the real thing) but I think it is kind of a dick move to describe parenthood as this miserable, tiring, chore. I sense that parents get a kind of sick joy in telling parents to be how awful having kids is going to be.

[QuickTidal]

RACHEL, on 08 June 2016 - 06:26 PM, said:

Quicktidal that sounds really annoying. I don't have kids but I have heard people say things like that and I think it is kind of annoying. On one hand I realize that you don't know parenthood until you have kids (even if you have an idea it never compares to the real thing) but I think it is kind of a dick move to describe parenthood as this miserable, tiring, chore. I sense that parents get a kind of sick joy in telling parents to be how awful having kids is going to be.

Thanks. I mean she loves her kids and all, but I really feel like she's just miserable about a lot of it, which seems sad.

[worry]

How good is your deadpan, QT? Cuz you could go with a "I hear you, I really do. That's why we've decided on an alternate parenting plan that involves loving our kid, and we'll see if the results are any different."

[Puck]

Sorry, me again, and yes, my mom is messing with my groove again. She complains about how she eats too much fast food because she has no time to cook. So I cook fresh dinner almost every day - all she has to do is to actually take the food with her to work. Or come get it during lunch break, because she works all of two minutes by foot away. Nope, instead, it's easier to go buy nonsense, then not even eat freshly cooked dinner, but then go around complaining. So fucking sick of this.

[QuickTidal]

worry, on 08 June 2016 - 08:12 PM, said:

How good is your deadpan, QT? Cuz you could go with a "I hear you, I really do. That's why we've decided on an alternate parenting plan that involves loving our kid, and we'll see if the results are any different."

Ha! Oh, if I could only get away with that.

[Abyss]

QuickTidal, on 08 June 2016 - 09:33 PM, said:

worry, on 08 June 2016 - 08:12 PM, said:

How good is your deadpan, QT? Cuz you could go with a "I hear you, I really do. That's why we've decided on an alternate parenting plan that involves loving our kid, and we'll see if the results are any different."

Ha! Oh, if I could only get away with that.

Try this: " i hear everything youre saying, and wow we are certainly lucky to have the benefit of your example."

[Loki]

Quicktidal - My experience is that having a kid is easy. Like, ridiculously easy. Compared to what everyone told us about how hard it is and how 'you'll never sleep again' or about 'how much your life will change', we are absolutely cruising!

From what I can tell, the people who struggle do so because of 1) pre-existing issues such as health problems, 2) postpartum depression (men can get this too!), 3) lack of support and/or communication between partners, or 4) mindset. The amount of things that stress out other parents that Matador and I laugh off is noticeable. For instance, if our son decides to have a meltdown in public we just move him to an area (like a parents room or the carpark) where he'll be less disruptive and let him go. We don't fret over him yelling but accept it's what toddlers do. Once he settles we talk it over with him and then get back to our shopping.
Health issues and other issues aside, I honestly think parenthood is only as difficult as you let it be. There will be days that are hard, absolutely!, but they won't be the standard.

[King Lear]

Tsundoku, on 07 June 2016 - 07:57 AM, said:

People formerly named Patrick?

Dunno.

Dad jokes never change

[Gorefest]

Seeing all the Fall of Light and Dancer's Lament topics. I'm on my third reread of MBotF, presently at DoD and I want to finish that first, but then I probably need to reread FoD before FoL so I'll probably stick Dancer's Lament in before that somewhere but then should I also reread OST , BnB and Assail first before that and aaaaargh. It's a weird complaint to make, but can SE and ICE please just slow down a bit with their bleeding output?!

Gods what am I saying. See what they make me do.

*breaks down and sobs*

This post has been edited by Gorefest: 09 June 2016 - 11:48 AM

[Macros]

Boss was being a monumental dickhead this morning.
He's calling down to site tomorrow, pretty sure Im going to quit, if he says one fucking thing to piss me off it will not be an amicable parting of ways.

[Mentalist]

Subways making me late for work again. Also, general exhaustion which is is combination of too much soccer and unreasonable workload that's makin me work overtime. And the latter is b/c of govt scheduling which is outside my control.

This post has been edited by Mentalist: 09 June 2016 - 01:45 PM

[Loki]

Silencer is so close but so far!

[Abyss]

Macros, on 09 June 2016 - 01:05 PM, said:

Boss was being a monumental dickhead this morning.
He's calling down to site tomorrow, pretty sure Im going to quit, if he says one fucking thing to piss me off it will not be an amicable parting of ways.

If you're gonna go, go big.

Can you set up a banner that reads 'I QUIT' and have two people standing by on a neabye rooftop?

[Tsundoku]

Abyss, on 10 June 2016 - 03:38 PM, said:

Macros, on 09 June 2016 - 01:05 PM, said:

Boss was being a monumental dickhead this morning.
He's calling down to site tomorrow, pretty sure Im going to quit, if he says one fucking thing to piss me off it will not be an amicable parting of ways.

If you're gonna go, go big.

Can you set up a banner that reads 'I QUIT' and have two people standing by on a neabye rooftop?

Nononono ... make it poo themed.

[Loki]

Tsundoku, on 10 June 2016 - 03:57 PM, said:

Abyss, on 10 June 2016 - 03:38 PM, said:

Macros, on 09 June 2016 - 01:05 PM, said:

Boss was being a monumental dickhead this morning.
He's calling down to site tomorrow, pretty sure Im going to quit, if he says one fucking thing to piss me off it will not be an amicable parting of ways.

If you're gonna go, go big.

Can you set up a banner that reads 'I QUIT' and have two people standing by on a neabye rooftop?

Nononono ... make it poo themed.

Don't forget the Mariachi band.