[Abyss]

Andorion, on 17 December 2015 - 02:22 AM, said:

Severe allergy attack in the night. Sneezing and coughing turned into breathing difficulties and I stayed up, sitting straight and wheezing, as lying down caused a suffocating sensation. No idea how I am supposed to go out today

Scuba suit?

[Maark Abbott]

Well my lappy is back up and running now. So presently the bane of my life is ceramic tiled floors.

[Arthur Dayne]

Keep that recovery disk handy. Windows has become a progressive bane and you may need any number of small files in the future from that bad boy just to keep from hurling your laptop down a flight of steps.

I have the next 4 hours to have 2 weeks worth of work straightened out and i'm on this forum trying to figure out how many fucks I have left to give for the year.

[Binder of Demons]

Trying (and failing) to get off my ass and do shit like organise photos and videos so that I can make a website for work (or perhaps more accurately, to try and help me get work). The photos are spread out over numerous hard drives, and the video stuff is the same, except I'll need to possibly re-edit that, or at least make a showreel. Then there's all the crap like linkedin, twitter, website stuff, maybe a separate business name. Ugh. I remember now why i haven't bothered doing this yet. The video stuff in particular is just too hard to face

[Mezla PigDog]

Still puking but less often! Also stressing over what to do about telling family members there is a baby on the way when I'm estranged from some and not others and don't want to encourage unwanted communications with my dad but at the same time feeling like a really horrible person for not telling my dad he's going to be a grandfather. Stressed!

I haven't done anything for Christmas - no gifts, no cards because when I'm not puking and exhausted then I am trying to keep on top of going to work and getting paid. Bloody social media is a right thorn in my side because I'm FB friends with my dads sister and she's FB friends with him and if she finds out about the baby then she might tell him. If I unfriend her she still sees my sister so it will get awkward. So I can't tell my wider social circle that I'm pregnant and those that do know have been asked to not mention it on social media and it's all getting to a point where it is just silly! I could email my wider social circle but then if I tell them not to mention it on social media then that is just silly too. I don't know what to do except to live the rest of my life as a hermit.

EDIT - this is not to say that I want to be one of those cretins who announces it by changing their profile picture to a scan photo btw! I'm just thinking of normal routine levels of communication between friends (and obviously massive sympathy seeking when I tell them all how sick I am!). That's all I want!

EDIT 2 - OH AND I WANT TO SEE STAR WARS BUT HAVE NO TICKETS BOOKED Hermits can still go to the cinema right?

This post has been edited by Mezla PigDog: 18 December 2015 - 09:53 AM

[Tsundoku]

Mezla PigDog, on 18 December 2015 - 09:47 AM, said:

Still puking but less often! Also stressing over what to do about telling family members there is a baby on the way when I'm estranged from some and not others and don't want to encourage unwanted communications with my dad but at the same time feeling like a really horrible person for not telling my dad he's going to be a grandfather. Stressed!

I haven't done anything for Christmas - no gifts, no cards because when I'm not puking and exhausted then I am trying to keep on top of going to work and getting paid. Bloody social media is a right thorn in my side because I'm FB friends with my dads sister and she's FB friends with him and if she finds out about the baby then she might tell him. If I unfriend her she still sees my sister so it will get awkward. So I can't tell my wider social circle that I'm pregnant and those that do know have been asked to not mention it on social media and it's all getting to a point where it is just silly! I could email my wider social circle but then if I tell them not to mention it on social media then that is just silly too. I don't know what to do except to live the rest of my life as a hermit.

EDIT - this is not to say that I want to be one of those cretins who announces it by changing their profile picture to a scan photo btw! I'm just thinking of normal routine levels of communication between friends (and obviously massive sympathy seeking when I tell them all how sick I am!). That's all I want!

EDIT 2 - OH AND I WANT TO SEE STAR WARS BUT HAVE NO TICKETS BOOKED Hermits can still go to the cinema right?

Maybe this could be the excuse you've always wanted to ruthlessly cull your Fakebook friends.

Re: your Dad. Do you want him in your life? I'd say since you're estranged then the answer would be "no". Do you want him in your kid's life? Again, since you don't want him in yours I would suggest that you don't want him in the kid's life. I don't know the reasons and I don't need to. At this point I'd say "fuck what he may or may not want, he's not in our life so who gives a shit about him?". Same goes for anyone else you couldn't care less for. So they find out and they disapprove. What's that going to do since you don't interact with them? Nada, zip, zilch, zero. People worry too much about the reactions of others they couldn't otherwise care less about simply because of an accident of genetics.

Simples.

This post has been edited by Tsundoku: 18 December 2015 - 12:12 PM

[Imperial Historian]

Additionally completely hiding the existence of a child whilst not impossible (see Josef Fritzl et al), is at the least quite difficult, so chances are he's going to find out at some point, better he find out on your terms (whatever they are) rather than by accident, then your free to carry on ignoring him.

That said facebook has some wonderful filtering systems where you can control who sees what if you do decide to announce it on facebook and keep it from some.



Also Star Wars has about a bajillion showings on right now, it's actually quite easy to get a ticket

[Gust Hubb]

Mezla PigDog, on 18 December 2015 - 09:47 AM, said:

Still puking but less often! Also stressing over what to do about telling family members there is a baby on the way when I'm estranged from some and not others and don't want to encourage unwanted communications with my dad but at the same time feeling like a really horrible person for not telling my dad he's going to be a grandfather. Stressed!

I haven't done anything for Christmas - no gifts, no cards because when I'm not puking and exhausted then I am trying to keep on top of going to work and getting paid. Bloody social media is a right thorn in my side because I'm FB friends with my dads sister and she's FB friends with him and if she finds out about the baby then she might tell him. If I unfriend her she still sees my sister so it will get awkward. So I can't tell my wider social circle that I'm pregnant and those that do know have been asked to not mention it on social media and it's all getting to a point where it is just silly! I could email my wider social circle but then if I tell them not to mention it on social media then that is just silly too. I don't know what to do except to live the rest of my life as a hermit.

EDIT - this is not to say that I want to be one of those cretins who announces it by changing their profile picture to a scan photo btw! I'm just thinking of normal routine levels of communication between friends (and obviously massive sympathy seeking when I tell them all how sick I am!). That's all I want!

EDIT 2 - OH AND I WANT TO SEE STAR WARS BUT HAVE NO TICKETS BOOKED Hermits can still go to the cinema right?

Sorry Melza, holiday season is when shit always goes down, in huge quantities. Get well.

[Abyss]

Mezla PigDog, on 18 December 2015 - 09:47 AM, said:

Still puking but less often! Also stressing over what to do about telling family members there is a baby on the way when I'm estranged from some and not others and don't want to encourage unwanted communications with my dad but at the same time feeling like a really horrible person for not telling my dad he's going to be a grandfather. Stressed!

One email and your conscience is clear with zero obligation to do anything more.

Quote

...FB ... I don't know what to do except to live the rest of my life as a hermit.

Tell the people you want to tell, by bcc mass em if necessary, and then go back to the rest of your life and stop caring about fucking facebook. Your baby doesn't give a fuck about facebook and neither should you.

[amphibian]

It's not Fbook. It's control over sharing happiness. This happens to a ton of expectant parents I know. Weird protective instincts kick in, visions of the long future fly in, and this is the result.

Go at your pace. I think you know what the eventual right course of action is and you've a great partner to go through out all with. Enjoy the puke free times.

[Mezla PigDog]

Sombra is closest to the mark but since I am not quite as good at being ruthless as he is () I need to go through some agony to get there. And in this case I think I can do a Fritzl as I don't even know what continent my dad lives on and neither do any of his other living relatives. He's most likely either in the UK or the Philippines. I think he's still married to a woman in Nigeria but I'm not entirely sure. It's a looooong story and takes a lifetime of dysfunction to get to this point but despite the fact that I don't know where he is he can still get to me by email. The main reason for the estrangement is a lifetime of emotional manipulation caused by him being a drunken prick. Since 2008 my "relationship" with him has been based entirely on the line "You're welcome to drop me an email when you are sober and we'll take it from there". I don't want to cut that line off in case he actually does ever sort himself out. Cutting a parent who is an addict out of your life is very very tough on the heart strings. It's kind of death by a thousand cuts as opposed to someone doing something so awful that they must be cut off immediately. I get the odd email from him each year trying to smoke me out with some of his trademark emotional blackmail and it always leads to a few days of misery and guilt where I have a serious think about whether to relent. If he had the grandkid card to play then it would be even harder.

So considering I am pretty much set on not telling him the weak link in the plan is my aunt who I am only in touch with via FB. Despite the FB hate I am a fan of the platform if not the way the average joe uses it. I have lived in 7 different towns/cities since 2001 and I have friends all over the country and virtually none in my current home town (operation desperate-search-for-friends-for maternity-leave is currently in the advanced planning stage) so I use FB to stay in touch with a lot of people and see their kids who I only see a couple of times a year grow up. I'm not ashamed to admit that I want to join in now I'm in the same boat. Plus both families live about 200 miles away so they will want to use FB to stay involved too. Those of you here who are my FB friends may need to cull me at some point soon I need to cull my aunt but despite having cut my dad out of my life I really don't want to be the type of person who makes a habit of this kind of thing. So I'm procrastinating and complaining about it here. Other social media platforms and groups have been considered but the relative age range to stay in touch with is 16 to 80!

It's going to have to be the hermit option. It's the easiest way

[Egwene]

Mezla PigDog, on 19 December 2015 - 05:09 PM, said:

Sombra is closest to the mark but since I am not quite as good at being ruthless as he is () I need to go through some agony to get there. And in this case I think I can do a Fritzl as I don't even know what continent my dad lives on and neither do any of his other living relatives. He's most likely either in the UK or the Philippines. I think he's still married to a woman in Nigeria but I'm not entirely sure. It's a looooong story and takes a lifetime of dysfunction to get to this point but despite the fact that I don't know where he is he can still get to me by email. The main reason for the estrangement is a lifetime of emotional manipulation caused by him being a drunken prick. Since 2008 my "relationship" with him has been based entirely on the line "You're welcome to drop me an email when you are sober and we'll take it from there". I don't want to cut that line off in case he actually does ever sort himself out. Cutting a parent who is an addict out of your life is very very tough on the heart strings. It's kind of death by a thousand cuts as opposed to someone doing something so awful that they must be cut off immediately. I get the odd email from him each year trying to smoke me out with some of his trademark emotional blackmail and it always leads to a few days of misery and guilt where I have a serious think about whether to relent. If he had the grandkid card to play then it would be even harder.

So considering I am pretty much set on not telling him the weak link in the plan is my aunt who I am only in touch with via FB. Despite the FB hate I am a fan of the platform if not the way the average joe uses it. I have lived in 7 different towns/cities since 2001 and I have friends all over the country and virtually none in my current home town (operation desperate-search-for-friends-for maternity-leave is currently in the advanced planning stage) so I use FB to stay in touch with a lot of people and see their kids who I only see a couple of times a year grow up. I'm not ashamed to admit that I want to join in now I'm in the same boat. Plus both families live about 200 miles away so they will want to use FB to stay involved too. Those of you here who are my FB friends may need to cull me at some point soon I need to cull my aunt but despite having cut my dad out of my life I really don't want to be the type of person who makes a habit of this kind of thing. So I'm procrastinating and complaining about it here. Other social media platforms and groups have been considered but the relative age range to stay in touch with is 16 to 80!

It's going to have to be the hermit option. It's the easiest way

Seems to me by going to all this trouble, to keep your dad from knowing, that you let him have a big, negative impact on your life. If I was you - put it out there, on FB, that you are happy to share the good news that you are pregnant. Don't mention your dad at all. Then sit still and wait. So, likely he will get to hear about it... then, maybe, he will be in touch. At which point you tell him that you are happy to forward the odd 'official' photo and that he may brag about being a granddad if he wants to but that that is as far as it goes. Tell him that he may have forgotten that part of parent's job description is that they will look after their children. Just because he failed to do so does not mean that you are going to do the same. Just tell him. Rather than thinking of it as the weak link, your baby will be what will give you the strength to be firm with him.

I know someone who is keeping his mother away from her granddaughter - the mother is also an addict. He refuses to set his daughter up to experience the kind of heartache which he experienced. Don't let your dad spoil things. You should be able to share the anticipation of your baby's birth with your friends and family. And you should get their sympathy for feeling so unwell so much of the time.

Also... people will need to start knitting - now!

This post has been edited by Egwene: 20 December 2015 - 12:00 PM

[amphibian]

Sombra posted?

[worry]

He posts as Sudoku now. It's a very puzzling name change.

[Maark Abbott]

worry, on 19 December 2015 - 08:16 PM, said:

He posts as Sudoku now. It's a very puzzling name change.

I bet you have a pun in the oven.

[Gust Hubb]

Maark, on 20 December 2015 - 02:44 PM, said:

worry, on 19 December 2015 - 08:16 PM, said:

He posts as Sudoku now. It's a very puzzling name change.

I bet you have a pun in the oven.

That would be his goose.

[HoosierDaddy]

You all have miles and miles to read to get that.

[Maark Abbott]

Mum's husband took a tumble down the stairs in the early part of Sunday morning - she found him KO'd at the bottom near the door. Bad in itself, but the A&E he was taken to missed:

a) severe thumb fracture with tendon damage
thoracic fractures
c) fractured skull with associated brain bleeds

Suffice it to say I'm a little narked off at them. Thankfully he still has his faculties and is trying to laugh it off, so that's something.

[Andorion]

Maark, on 21 December 2015 - 09:41 AM, said:

Mum's husband took a tumble down the stairs in the early part of Sunday morning - she found him KO'd at the bottom near the door. Bad in itself, but the A&E he was taken to missed:

a) severe thumb fracture with tendon damage
thoracic fractures
c) fractured skull with associated brain bleeds

Suffice it to say I'm a little narked off at them. Thankfully he still has his faculties and is trying to laugh it off, so that's something.

That sounds pretty bad, especially the brain bleed thing. Hope he gets better

[Maark Abbott]

Ehh, I don't think it's as bad as it seems. He's cogent, and beyond the initial unconsciousness he's not lost his faculties at all, which is a good sign.