[CowboyYojimbo]

Man, does anyone here have experience with online dating? It just seems like the worst.

I thought I'd never use it because it seemed like shopping for a human being in a magazine, but I fight wild-fire in the summer seemingly non-stop and then I come home to a smaller town, so I haven't really met many people I'm interested in as of late. I also liked the ability to know some important things you'd want to know before the date.
That said, I never really let things hit my self esteem, rejection is okay, but boy does online dating hurt for some reason. It's cold. You get ignored lots, or you actually click with someone and then they eventually just ignore messages even if you said nothing really out there. This one really bummed me out. Haven't been that excited to meet someone in a couple years.
I'd prefer "No thanks, i don't like the cut of your jib" over the cold silence and lingering questions of what did you do wrong.

I often wonder if the method makes it too easy to just pass on someone when you can just go through pages of people, like shopping for damn furniture. I think it's one of those actual "technology sucks" moments.

I just wanna fight fire, help people and be a loving boyfriend and/or husband. I'll admit to be oversensitive right now. Truthfully, I lost my brother and father the past year and a bit.
I've always been a lone wolf type, but I've never felt so fucking lonely till now.

Hitting gym, and scotch! Fuck Match.com

This post has been edited by CowboyYojimbo: 29 November 2015 - 02:30 AM

[Tsundoku]

Sorry mate but just as in real (first world) life, men are the petitioners and women get to do the choosing. And since apparently the proportions of people on dating sites are something like 8 or 10 men to 1 woman ...

[CowboyYojimbo]

Tsundoku, on 29 November 2015 - 03:10 AM, said:

Sorry mate but just as in real (first world) life, men are the petitioners and women get to do the choosing. And since apparently the proportions of people on dating sites are something like 8 or 10 men to 1 woman ...

I kinda figured the experience differs for the gender. So at the end of the day, you can get beat out by a profile who just makes more money a year than you. Brutal.

[Andorion]

My GF and I were friends in college, but we got together on FB because both of us were too shy to say anything face to face

[TheRetiredBridgeburner]

Other half and I met at a music festival face to face, but we'd been chatting on the festival's forum/Facebook first, so you could say we met online to some degree.

[Gust Hubb]

I couldn't say about online dating either. I was about to voyage into that route when my wife meet me when I was rooming with her brother. When I was religious (now atheist), I would have said just relax and God would bring the right one into proximity. Now, I would think that the more recreation you do (hence why people think of bars from my stance) the more opportunities you have of bumping into someone with whom magic flares.

But again, I was just lucky, and no clue about online dating.

[Egwene]

I know a couple who met through online dating but they are the odd ones out. One of my customers tried it and after meeting a few guys who were not really after a relationship but just after the 'one' thing, as they say, she thought she had found Mr. Right. They dated for quite some time, went on holidays together and things seemed fine. Then she lost contact - thinking he was ill, she traced him down only to find that actually, he was married and she wasn't the first one who fell for his stories.

I would second the advice of engaging in social activities, Cowboy, but don't get pre-occupied with the idea of finding the right one. If you meet a girl she wants to feel that it is her you want - not that having a relationship is what matters most. Concentrate on being happy as you are - it will make you look more relaxed, confident and attractive and if you do meet a nice girl she won't feel that 'anyone will do'.

[Mezla PigDog]

I have two female friends who met and married chaps they met through online dating. They both met their husbands about 6 or 7 years ago now when online dating was perhaps a tad more innocent but both are happily married with kids. I have a couple of friends now who used Tinder and both had lots of hookups but also some shorter and longer term relationships. A guy just ended a 6 month relationship and a girl is still in one after a similar amount of time.

Anyway through living vicariously through my single friends dating lives I think the key to online dating is not to take cyber rejection seriously (think of how you are when browsing Amazon and reject things out of hand) and not to go into any real life dates with your expectations too high. Also anyone who has no manners online will likely have no manners in real life and therefore you don't want to date them anyway. I agree with others that real life sociable hobbies are the best chance to let it creep up while you are focussing on something you enjoy.

[CowboyYojimbo]

Solid advice here, thanks everyone.
I'll just keep plodding onward.

Egwene, on 29 November 2015 - 04:00 PM, said:

I would second the advice of engaging in social activities, Cowboy, but don't get pre-occupied with the idea of finding the right one. If you meet a girl she wants to feel that it is her you want - not that having a relationship is what matters most. Concentrate on being happy as you are - it will make you look more relaxed, confident and attractive and if you do meet a nice girl she won't feel that 'anyone will do'.

No worries there, I'm a choosy man. I think that's why it tends to bum me out more.

Mezla PigDog, on 29 November 2015 - 04:23 PM, said:

Also anyone who has no manners online will likely have no manners in real life and therefore you don't want to date them anyway.

Very true.

[worry]

Online isn't the only modern way to ask a girl out. Another way is to send the eggplant emoji to every woman in your phone, and whoever sends back two strawberry emojis is your soulmate.

[Abyss]

Online dating is like rl dating... You can't let fear of rejection prevent you from getting out there and staying out there til you're happy.Tho ill qualify that with noting that on the balance, hookup apps like tinder aren't exactly going to help your odds of meeting the future Cowgirl.
Might increase your odds of getting laid tho'.
Also, herpes.

Fun aside, my spellchecker kept replacing 'rl' with 'R'lyeh', which puts everything in a whole different context.

[worry]

On the contrary, romance is dead and people must scrunch together simply to stave off hypothermia of the heart.

[EmperorMagus]

worry, on 29 November 2015 - 10:41 PM, said:

On the contrary, romance is dead and people must scrunch together simply to stave off hypothermia of the heart.

Why did I just laugh at a string of unrelated words following each other?

[Morgoth]

You should never let fear of rejection dictate your choices, but if you struggle with it know that it's much much easier to deal with rejection online than face to face. Like how I had to let worry know it would never be the two of us. Much easier to do it through a PM here a little after he had left.

[worry]

I will never listen to this song again.

[Morgoth]

It was our special song for a little while at least. I can only hope you will find someone more comfortable with wearing the outfit.

[Nicodimas]

Looks like a mass shooting in California..20+ Victims at a VA Center?

Note: 3 Shooters all in military gear
Note 2: VA Center became Inland Regional Center.

https://twitter.com/sbcountysheriff

This post has been edited by Nicodimas: 02 December 2015 - 08:12 PM

[Abyss]

Nicodimas, on 02 December 2015 - 07:54 PM, said:

Looks like a mass shooting in California..20+ Victims at a VA Center?

Note: 3 Shooters all in military gear
Note 2: VA Center became Inland Regional Center.

https://twitter.com/sbcountysheriff

Fuck.

[QuickTidal]

Abyss, on 02 December 2015 - 08:13 PM, said:

Nicodimas, on 02 December 2015 - 07:54 PM, said:

Looks like a mass shooting in California..20+ Victims at a VA Center?

Note: 3 Shooters all in military gear
Note 2: VA Center became Inland Regional Center.

https://twitter.com/sbcountysheriff

Fuck.

FUCK. What is it now... DAYS from the nutjob at the Planned Parenthood place? Days. Insanity.

This post has been edited by QuickTidal: 02 December 2015 - 08:28 PM

[Abyss]

Media groupthink at the moment seems to be 1-3 white guys with automatic weapons attacking a Planned Parenthood Office, 12 dead, 8 wounded.





Also.... Fuck.