[Hinter]

King Lear, on 24 March 2013 - 04:21 AM, said:

Hinter, on 24 March 2013 - 04:16 AM, said:

King Lear, on 24 March 2013 - 04:02 AM, said:

It's a very slow and very long game...

And if it ain't slow and long you ain't doing it right.

Oh shit! I actually posted that? I was just thinking out loud....

[King Lear]

Hinter, on 24 March 2013 - 04:24 AM, said:

King Lear, on 24 March 2013 - 04:21 AM, said:

Hinter, on 24 March 2013 - 04:16 AM, said:

King Lear, on 24 March 2013 - 04:02 AM, said:

It's a very slow and very long game...

And if it ain't slow and long you ain't doing it right.

Oh shit! I actually posted that? I was just thinking out loud....

Damn drunken Poms

[Hinter]

King Lear, on 24 March 2013 - 04:32 AM, said:

Hinter, on 24 March 2013 - 04:24 AM, said:

King Lear, on 24 March 2013 - 04:21 AM, said:

Hinter, on 24 March 2013 - 04:16 AM, said:

King Lear, on 24 March 2013 - 04:02 AM, said:

It's a very slow and very long game...

And if it ain't slow and long you ain't doing it right.

Oh shit! I actually posted that? I was just thinking out loud....

Damn drunken Poms

We may be drunk, but we are your Grandfathers and Grandmothers, so show some respect you antipodean rapscallion!

[King Lear]

Hinter, on 24 March 2013 - 04:37 AM, said:

King Lear, on 24 March 2013 - 04:32 AM, said:

Hinter, on 24 March 2013 - 04:24 AM, said:

King Lear, on 24 March 2013 - 04:21 AM, said:

Hinter, on 24 March 2013 - 04:16 AM, said:

King Lear, on 24 March 2013 - 04:02 AM, said:

It's a very slow and very long game...

And if it ain't slow and long you ain't doing it right.

Oh shit! I actually posted that? I was just thinking out loud....

Damn drunken Poms

We may be drunk, but we are your Grandfathers and Grandmothers, so show some respect you antipodean rapscallion!

And in this case, father, actually

[EmperorMagus]

ME is now blocked in Iran.
FUCK.IT.

[Silencer]

EmperorMagus, on 24 March 2013 - 11:17 AM, said:

ME is now blocked in Iran.
FUCK.IT.

Ah, gutted. Though I guess it was just a matter of time.

[MTS]

Dead Island just deleted a 20-hour save on me. Can't be bothered playing the rest of it again, so I guess that's that.

[EmperorMagus]

Silencer, on 24 March 2013 - 11:20 AM, said:

EmperorMagus, on 24 March 2013 - 11:17 AM, said:

ME is now blocked in Iran.
FUCK.IT.

Ah, gutted. Though I guess it was just a matter of time.

hopefully they will come to their senses and remove the block. (you can't blame a guy for hoping)

This post has been edited by EmperorMagus: 24 March 2013 - 11:23 AM

[Traveller]

I just wonder how its possible to read an entire book, then post about it in the book forum, and manage to repeatedly get the book title wrong.

Or get characters names wrong after reading at least four books in a series that features them...a lot.

Maybe I'm just having a pedantic day.

This post has been edited by Traveller: 24 March 2013 - 11:38 AM

[Centzon Totochtin]

Assail, on 24 March 2013 - 04:12 AM, said:

Blue balls.

Assuming you are not also talking about cricket... there is an easy solution there

[Grimjust Bearegular]

The snake finally entered Paradise....fuck!

Today Mr Awesome went to Mexico with his sister. They're gonna be there for 10 days. I couldn't come because I'm poor and have no money, which sucks major ass. I'm happy for him because he gets an awesome vacation, but at the same time I'm insanely envious and frustrated.

Envious because I also want to go to Cancun and do awesome stuff (his sister just had to rub all their plans in my face even though I asked her to wait to reveal stuff until I wasn't there), and because this is the third trip he's been on since we got together, on which I haven't been able to come. First it was two weeks in the Bahamas, then two weeks in the French Alps, now ten days in Mexico. All trips paid for by his family, so it doesn't cost him anything. I am envious because this never happens to me. My family doesn't have any money.

I'm frustrated because the one time we actually did go somewhere, I ended up paying for almost everything, plain tickets, dinners, shopping and so on. And the reason I don't have any money now is because I'm saving up and spending all my money on a trip for the two of us to the US, road trip coast to coast for three weeks in the summer. I'm a student and currently live on approx. $1 000 a month, 500 of which I give to mr Awesome to help pay for rent and such (he earns triple that, but has a lot of expenses. I've leant him what I can of my meagre savings, because I like to help out with things if I can). So naturally I won't be able to afford a trip to Mexico anytime soon.

Now for the snake part: When he walked me to the bus yesterday evening we talked about the trip to Mexico and how cool it was gonna be and how much it sucked that I couldn't come with. I said it sucked major ass because I was most likely never going to be able to afford such a trip, and have those experiences. I want to be a writer, so I will most likely not make very much money in the future either

Then he said I had to stop being so pessimistic (which I tend to be, but I usually get my act together after a little while), that I was bad influence on everyone around me and that I had become somewhat of a burden to him... I said I didn't have to be a burden to him much longer, if that's what he wanted. And then I didn't say another word, It's now been about 14 hours.

The reason I reacted that way is because I have really tried, with everything I have, to be exactly the opposite of that. I have done everything in my power to be positive and supportive, to change my bleak outlook on things, and that comment hit me like a roundhouse-kick to the face, It really really hurt.

Now, I love this man more than anything, and I'm terrified of losing him, but if that's what he thinks about me then... I don't know.

My mobile's been off since we last spoke, and I'm not sure I want to turn it on again. Firstly, because I don't know what to reply to his messages. Secondly, what if there are no messages? I'm avoiding Facebook as well, planning on spending my vacation in the shower crying

Fuck!

Am I being irrational?

Am I overreacting?


Oh, wise oracles of the Phoenix Inn: What the hell do I do?

[Silencer]

Step One: Turn on Phone.

Step Two: *THEN* figure out what you have to say. Because not knowing what has/has not been texted leaves faaaaar too many possibilities for your mind to circle around and worry about, making this whole thing worse than it has to be!


IF this is getting on top of you and it's an issue for him, then maybe you need to have a talk about it - you've been trying to change, yeah? So ask him. Has it worked? Are you better than before? It sounds like it may have just been a bit of a snippy comment made because he was really looking forward to the holiday (though no doubt feeling bad that you can't come), and it's putting an even bigger dampener on something that should be fun. It's not that you're being unreasonable or unjustified in feeling a bit left out, btw, it's just that this is something which is impossible for you two to talk about without having a bit of a cross-purpose to the conversation, you know? Ergo a bit of a snippy comment.

Anyway, just my two cents on the subject.

[Grimjust Bearegular]

Silencer, on 24 March 2013 - 11:59 AM, said:

Step One: Turn on Phone.

Step Two: *THEN* figure out what you have to say. Because not knowing what has/has not been texted leaves faaaaar too many possibilities for your mind to circle around and worry about, making this whole thing worse than it has to be!


IF this is getting on top of you and it's an issue for him, then maybe you need to have a talk about it - you've been trying to change, yeah? So ask him. Has it worked? Are you better than before? It sounds like it may have just been a bit of a snippy comment made because he was really looking forward to the holiday (though no doubt feeling bad that you can't come), and it's putting an even bigger dampener on something that should be fun. It's not that you're being unreasonable or unjustified in feeling a bit left out, btw, it's just that this is something which is impossible for you two to talk about without having a bit of a cross-purpose to the conversation, you know? Ergo a bit of a snippy comment.

Anyway, just my two cents on the subject.

Step Three: Profit?!


Yeah, I know I should talk to him about it, but I really don't want to ruin his vacation further by hashing things out via text messages... although the silent treatment isn't the best way to go either. I just don't want to say anything that'll mess things up even more. And right now I'm still so hurt (snippy comment or not, given our history it was way out of line) that I really just want to lash out... I can be a real bitch if I set my mind to it. Trying desperately to avoid that!


But then again, why do I need to change? Whatever happened to loving people for who they are?

I hate this feeling stuff....Really, I'm too old for this shit.

[dietl]

Yeah, leaving off the phone makes nothing better. It only lets you worry more. Talking about it surely is the right way.

I know you situation (because I'm piss-poor myself) and there are two sides in this. This isn't about being irrational or averreacting. a) He and his sister look forward to the trip, so of course they want to talk about it. You get them to feel bad about it by saying you can't go and how you could never afford it. You can't go to the trip, so why do they talk to you about it all the time. The sensitive way would not to rub it into your face.
I think this isn't new to you, as a poor person you need to learn to control your envy, because in the end it's not their problem but yours. , but it is a natual reaction, so you have to be able to say when some comments are too much. You have to be able to say you don't want to talk about it anymore, because what could you contribute to this, except how you can't go? What are they expecting for you to say?

[Mrs Savagely Wishy Washy]

Bearmione TROUBLEMAKER Grimger, on 24 March 2013 - 12:21 PM, said:

Silencer, on 24 March 2013 - 11:59 AM, said:

Step One: Turn on Phone.

Step Two: *THEN* figure out what you have to say. Because not knowing what has/has not been texted leaves faaaaar too many possibilities for your mind to circle around and worry about, making this whole thing worse than it has to be!


IF this is getting on top of you and it's an issue for him, then maybe you need to have a talk about it - you've been trying to change, yeah? So ask him. Has it worked? Are you better than before? It sounds like it may have just been a bit of a snippy comment made because he was really looking forward to the holiday (though no doubt feeling bad that you can't come), and it's putting an even bigger dampener on something that should be fun. It's not that you're being unreasonable or unjustified in feeling a bit left out, btw, it's just that this is something which is impossible for you two to talk about without having a bit of a cross-purpose to the conversation, you know? Ergo a bit of a snippy comment.

Anyway, just my two cents on the subject.

Step Three: Profit?!


Yeah, I know I should talk to him about it, but I really don't want to ruin his vacation further by hashing things out via text messages... although the silent treatment isn't the best way to go either. I just don't want to say anything that'll mess things up even more. And right now I'm still so hurt (snippy comment or not, given our history it was way out of line) that I really just want to lash out... I can be a real bitch if I set my mind to it. Trying desperately to avoid that!


But then again, why do I need to change? Whatever happened to loving people for who they are?

I hate this feeling stuff....Really, I'm too old for this shit.

Don't do anything rash. If there's a text, write a reply, don't send it, read it tomorrow again critically and then send something else because usually the first reply ain't the most constructive one. If there's no text, I don't see why you have to get in touch with him. Or if you must, send something nice but not too deep. Let it blow over somewhat. Give him time to think, and you think too whether this guy really is Mr Awesome. From what you say he sounds like Mr Sucker if he is taking money from you while he's earning considerably more than you do and his family is loaded. Even if you are happy to give doesn't mean he can just take what he needs. That just pisses me off. Really does.
Sorry, I'm not very nice or sympathetic, but from an outside perspective and only knowing this incident and nothing about the great paradise times you shared together, I would still say reconsider your relationship.


And as for you becoming a writer and never having any opportunity to travel, you just never know what may be around the corner for you. I mean SE travels and he is a writer! That's a role model there for you.

Hang in there Bearmione!

[Silencer]

Bearmione TROUBLEMAKER Grimger, on 24 March 2013 - 12:21 PM, said:

Silencer, on 24 March 2013 - 11:59 AM, said:

Step One: Turn on Phone.

Step Two: *THEN* figure out what you have to say. Because not knowing what has/has not been texted leaves faaaaar too many possibilities for your mind to circle around and worry about, making this whole thing worse than it has to be!


IF this is getting on top of you and it's an issue for him, then maybe you need to have a talk about it - you've been trying to change, yeah? So ask him. Has it worked? Are you better than before? It sounds like it may have just been a bit of a snippy comment made because he was really looking forward to the holiday (though no doubt feeling bad that you can't come), and it's putting an even bigger dampener on something that should be fun. It's not that you're being unreasonable or unjustified in feeling a bit left out, btw, it's just that this is something which is impossible for you two to talk about without having a bit of a cross-purpose to the conversation, you know? Ergo a bit of a snippy comment.

Anyway, just my two cents on the subject.

Step Three: Profit?!


Yeah, I know I should talk to him about it, but I really don't want to ruin his vacation further by hashing things out via text messages... although the silent treatment isn't the best way to go either. I just don't want to say anything that'll mess things up even more. And right now I'm still so hurt (snippy comment or not, given our history it was way out of line) that I really just want to lash out... I can be a real bitch if I set my mind to it. Trying desperately to avoid that!

Fair call, and I'd advise against "hashing it out via text messages", too. XD If you're not going to see him again before the holiday, though, I'd definitely check the texts and see what he's said - at the very least you'll be able to send a neutral response with a "and hope you enjoy your holiday, really!" on the end.

Quote

But then again, why do I need to change? Whatever happened to loving people for who they are?

I hate this feeling stuff....Really, I'm too old for this shit.

Also a fair call, Grim. But some have also said that love is really a measure of how far you're willing to go for another person - and that can include changing, sometimes. Though it sounds like you've been trying to do just that, so I can definitely see where that comment will have stung. For further on that line of thought, see Miss Savage's post...

[dietl]

I know from experience that for solving a conflict the internet or phone isn't the best way to do this. If you still what to discuss it keep in mind that you basically what them to have fun on their trip. Afterwards is still enough time for talk.

[Gothos]

My nose turned into a really leaky pipe. Where's all that stuff coming from? it defies physics.

[Grimjust Bearegular]

dietl, on 24 March 2013 - 12:48 PM, said:

Yeah, leaving off the phone makes nothing better. It only lets you worry more. Talking about it surely is the right way.

I know you situation (because I'm piss-poor myself) and there are two sides in this. This isn't about being irrational or averreacting. a) He and his sister look forward to the trip, so of course they want to talk about it. You get them to feel bad about it by saying you can't go and how you could never afford it. You can't go to the trip, so why do they talk to you about it all the time. The sensitive way would not to rub it into your face.
I think this isn't new to you, as a poor person you need to learn to control your envy, because in the end it's not their problem but yours. , but it is a natual reaction, so you have to be able to say when some comments are too much. You have to be able to say you don't want to talk about it anymore, because what could you contribute to this, except how you can't go? What are they expecting for you to say?

Believe me, I was trying my best to be cool with it when they talked about their plans, and commented on how fun it would be for them etc. I waited until we were alone to vent, and then only when he brought it up what a bummer it was that I couldn't come... le sigh.

I know I was being a wet blanket and I hate being one, but as you said, I need to learn how to control it...which is difficult when being around "privileged" people

Miss Savagely Wishy Washy, on 24 March 2013 - 12:50 PM, said:

Bearmione TROUBLEMAKER Grimger, on 24 March 2013 - 12:21 PM, said:

Silencer, on 24 March 2013 - 11:59 AM, said:

Step One: Turn on Phone.

Step Two: *THEN* figure out what you have to say. Because not knowing what has/has not been texted leaves faaaaar too many possibilities for your mind to circle around and worry about, making this whole thing worse than it has to be!


IF this is getting on top of you and it's an issue for him, then maybe you need to have a talk about it - you've been trying to change, yeah? So ask him. Has it worked? Are you better than before? It sounds like it may have just been a bit of a snippy comment made because he was really looking forward to the holiday (though no doubt feeling bad that you can't come), and it's putting an even bigger dampener on something that should be fun. It's not that you're being unreasonable or unjustified in feeling a bit left out, btw, it's just that this is something which is impossible for you two to talk about without having a bit of a cross-purpose to the conversation, you know? Ergo a bit of a snippy comment.

Anyway, just my two cents on the subject.

Step Three: Profit?!


Yeah, I know I should talk to him about it, but I really don't want to ruin his vacation further by hashing things out via text messages... although the silent treatment isn't the best way to go either. I just don't want to say anything that'll mess things up even more. And right now I'm still so hurt (snippy comment or not, given our history it was way out of line) that I really just want to lash out... I can be a real bitch if I set my mind to it. Trying desperately to avoid that!


But then again, why do I need to change? Whatever happened to loving people for who they are?

I hate this feeling stuff....Really, I'm too old for this shit.

Don't do anything rash. If there's a text, write a reply, don't send it, read it tomorrow again critically and then send something else because usually the first reply ain't the most constructive one. If there's no text, I don't see why you have to get in touch with him. Or if you must, send something nice but not too deep. Let it blow over somewhat. Give him time to think, and you think too whether this guy really is Mr Awesome. From what you say he sounds like Mr Sucker if he is taking money from you while he's earning considerably more than you do and his family is loaded. Even if you are happy to give doesn't mean he can just take what he needs. That just pisses me off. Really does.
Sorry, I'm not very nice or sympathetic, but from an outside perspective and only knowing this incident and nothing about the great paradise times you shared together, I would still say reconsider your relationship.


And as for you becoming a writer and never having any opportunity to travel, you just never know what may be around the corner for you. I mean SE travels and he is a writer! That's a role model there for you.

Hang in there Bearmione!

Good advice, methinks. Being rash was what ended my last relationship...and the fact that he was a controlling, jealous asshole, hehe.

He feels bad that I can't go, and he says he feels terrible about asking me for money. He pays me back, eventually. But in this particular instance it really annoys me that I can't afford to go because of him. He doesn't have to pay anything for the trip, at least he could have paid for half of mine, or something.

I hate it when money becomes an issue. I hate making it an issue....Fuuuuuu.

Silencer, on 24 March 2013 - 12:51 PM, said:

Bearmione TROUBLEMAKER Grimger, on 24 March 2013 - 12:21 PM, said:

Silencer, on 24 March 2013 - 11:59 AM, said:

Step One: Turn on Phone.

Step Two: *THEN* figure out what you have to say. Because not knowing what has/has not been texted leaves faaaaar too many possibilities for your mind to circle around and worry about, making this whole thing worse than it has to be!


IF this is getting on top of you and it's an issue for him, then maybe you need to have a talk about it - you've been trying to change, yeah? So ask him. Has it worked? Are you better than before? It sounds like it may have just been a bit of a snippy comment made because he was really looking forward to the holiday (though no doubt feeling bad that you can't come), and it's putting an even bigger dampener on something that should be fun. It's not that you're being unreasonable or unjustified in feeling a bit left out, btw, it's just that this is something which is impossible for you two to talk about without having a bit of a cross-purpose to the conversation, you know? Ergo a bit of a snippy comment.

Anyway, just my two cents on the subject.

Step Three: Profit?!


Yeah, I know I should talk to him about it, but I really don't want to ruin his vacation further by hashing things out via text messages... although the silent treatment isn't the best way to go either. I just don't want to say anything that'll mess things up even more. And right now I'm still so hurt (snippy comment or not, given our history it was way out of line) that I really just want to lash out... I can be a real bitch if I set my mind to it. Trying desperately to avoid that!

Fair call, and I'd advise against "hashing it out via text messages", too. XD If you're not going to see him again before the holiday, though, I'd definitely check the texts and see what he's said - at the very least you'll be able to send a neutral response with a "and hope you enjoy your holiday, really!" on the end.

Quote

But then again, why do I need to change? Whatever happened to loving people for who they are?

I hate this feeling stuff....Really, I'm too old for this shit.

Also a fair call, Grim. But some have also said that love is really a measure of how far you're willing to go for another person - and that can include changing, sometimes. Though it sounds like you've been trying to do just that, so I can definitely see where that comment will have stung. For further on that line of thought, see Miss Savage's post...

He doesn't come back until April 4th. We live together so it's a bit weird if I don't talk to him during those ten days. I don't want to dump all of this on him when he gets back, so I should give him a heads up, but then I'll mess up his vacation if I say something's wrong and "we need to talk" when he gets home. Why is this so hard? I am not 16 years old, it should be waaay easier no...right?


Yeah, it stung like a motherfucker.

[dietl]

Well I think there's nothing you can/should do now about this. You need to get your mind off this somehow, because maybe the situation doesn't change until April 4th. That would be a long time for building up your worries and fears. So I would meet some friends, go out or play an addictive computer game or whatever makes you happy.
But I'm sure he would write something sooner than that if he cares for you.