[Satan]

Gothos, on 10 March 2013 - 01:24 PM, said:

Satan, on 10 March 2013 - 08:56 AM, said:

Gothos, on 09 March 2013 - 07:21 PM, said:

Quote

Keep in mind that I'm of the opinion that your girlfriend wants to know that you're still passionate for her and that you still believe strongly. Surprise her with some flowers or something small, yet delightful next time you can. That'll buy you a bit of time and breathing room.

Just did that yesterday when I popped to town for a job interview, paid her a visit with some nice roses. Got me a kiss but otherwise little reaction. Still avoiding eye contact and speaking to me while looking another way. That worries me more than anything else. I just don't get it. One day she can be all over me so much I get a bit awkward about it in public places. The next day she might be like whatever.

Not knowing your girlfriend or the relationship you have with her (or you, for that matter), I can imagine where her nervousness is coming from; if it was me in her shoes, I'd be running for the hills right now. Nevermind that she's been asking you to move to her city, the fact that you're moving there now would put an immense amount of pressure on her. If all you have in that city is her, she'll feel responsible for your well being (or I would), and by this will fear for her own personal space. So to secure her personal space, she push you away. And so any grand gesture of love will at this point be seen as clinging and an infringement of personal space. This isn't necessarily opaque vagina thinking, it can be understandable human behaviour.

What you should do instead is to find another reason to be in that city. A job would be a good place to start, if you don't already have one.

Been looking for a job there for over 6 weeks now, thanks.

You're quite welcome!

[Mezla PigDog]

I feel unutterably shitty. A friend died a couple of weeks ago and it was her funeral on Friday. The service was lovely albeit terribly sad and everyone being together to celebrate her life was great. Now I'm stuck on the futility of day-to-day life, it is mindnumbingly pointless. I'm a cliché!

Ho hum, existential crisis alert.

[Acorn]

Mezla PigDog, on 11 March 2013 - 12:37 PM, said:

I feel unutterably shitty. A friend died a couple of weeks ago and it was her funeral on Friday. The service was lovely albeit terribly sad and everyone being together to celebrate her life was great. Now I'm stuck on the futility of day-to-day life, it is mindnumbingly pointless. I'm a cliché!

Ho hum, existential crisis alert.

My Condolences.

And you'd only be "cliché" if you were eating tubs of ice cream while trashing your house and doing other generally frowned upon acts of self destruction... Such as watching QVC... That is self-sacrificed-soul-sucking at its finest!

------- And since this is "WMWYG" thread:

Um... My tooth is getting better but still hurts like mad - and the pain meds are running out. Wish I lived in Canadia and could at least get Tylenol 3 OTC. And yes it IS spelled Canadia on purpose. It's a habit my friends from C-world and I got into years ago..

This post has been edited by Acorn: 11 March 2013 - 01:15 PM

[Spoilsport Stonny]

So this douche driving a semi cuts me off and then proceeds to flip ME off like it was my fault, then he directs me into the shoulder with his ever so pointy pointer finger so we can go mano to mano, like thats what I want to do on a Monday morning is fight some truck driver on the side of the road. Never mind the fact that I would stab him up quick-like and leave him bleeding out over the guard rail and then no one at Taco Bell would be getting their cinnamon crisps that day. Stay classy, Teamsters.

[Macros]

Hungover at work, crawling through a sub basemen.
this is not a good day for Macros

[GaesReturns]

Euch, everything is messing with my groove.

I'm pretty sure life hates me right now.

[Traveller]

Mezla PigDog, on 11 March 2013 - 12:37 PM, said:

I feel unutterably shitty. A friend died a couple of weeks ago and it was her funeral on Friday. The service was lovely albeit terribly sad and everyone being together to celebrate her life was great. Now I'm stuck on the futility of day-to-day life, it is mindnumbingly pointless. I'm a cliché!

Ho hum, existential crisis alert.

Its not a cliche, it's the natural reaction you get when you see the end of someones life. In a way, I've found that a funeral that gets everyone together, and highlights all the things they did, big and small, just makes it easier to compare to your own life... which leads to an inevitable 'what if it was me?'

I went to the funeral of a good friend and colleague recently, and as funerals went, it was one of those uplifting but sad occasions. She had coped so well with basically being given 4 months to live... but when you see how someone who is good at their job, is witty, clever and liked to eat chocolate biscuits while listening to classic fm while she worked, can suddenly be... gone... it becomes really easy to see most of the day to day stuff we worry about and spend our time and effort on as all being a bit, well, pointless.

It is a shitty feeling. (It is, unfortunately, something I'm prone to dwell on at least once or twice a week without any funerals being involved.. I just can't believe what a waste of time some things are in the big scheme of things, and suddenly the whole 'work until you retire' thing seems like an unbearable waste of life. And it seems weird to me that no one else seems to worry about it or even think about it, when it is so important).

The thing is, it's not worth dwelling on for too long. Grieving is natural, but it will pass, and it's good to let it go and not let it eat you up. The cliche really is that life goes on, that doing things you like makes you feel better, and that while you will always feel the pain of losing a friend, you will also remember all the good stuff about them too.

This post has been edited by Traveller: 11 March 2013 - 09:04 PM

[Silencer]

Traveller, on 11 March 2013 - 09:02 PM, said:

Mezla PigDog, on 11 March 2013 - 12:37 PM, said:

I feel unutterably shitty. A friend died a couple of weeks ago and it was her funeral on Friday. The service was lovely albeit terribly sad and everyone being together to celebrate her life was great. Now I'm stuck on the futility of day-to-day life, it is mindnumbingly pointless. I'm a cliché!

Ho hum, existential crisis alert.

Its not a cliche, it's the natural reaction you get when you see the end of someones life. In a way, I've found that a funeral that gets everyone together, and highlights all the things they did, big and small, just makes it easier to compare to your own life... which leads to an inevitable 'what if it was me?'

I went to the funeral of a good friend and colleague recently, and as funerals went, it was one of those uplifting but sad occasions. She had coped so well with basically being given 4 months to live... but when you see how someone who is good at their job, is witty, clever and liked to eat chocolate biscuits while listening to classic fm while she worked, can suddenly be... gone... it becomes really easy to see most of the day to day stuff we worry about and spend our time and effort on as all being a bit, well, pointless.

It is a shitty feeling. (It is, unfortunately, something I'm prone to dwell on at least once or twice a week without any funerals being involved.. I just can't believe what a waste of time some things are in the big scheme of things, and suddenly the whole 'work until you retire' thing seems like an unbearable waste of life. And it seems weird to me that no one else seems to worry about it or even think about it, when it is so important).

The thing is, it's not worth dwelling on for too long. Grieving is natural, but it will pass, and it's good to let it go and not let it eat you up. The cliche really is that life goes on, that doing things you like makes you feel better, and that while you will always feel the pain of losing a friend, you will also remember all the good stuff about them too.

Other people think about it. It's just one of those things that people keep to themselves (and if they didn't, pretty sure the world wouldn't "work" any more :S).

Just gonna reinforce the underlined bit. It can't really be called advice so much as elaborating on the natural order of this stuff, but letting yourself get stuck thinking about things like that is definitely not a good idea.



...and aside from that, messing with my groove are people being dicks. Ugh.

[Illuyankas]

Hey, there's a fuck you in my very first post in that thread I don't even remember writing. It's possible I may have a problem.

This post has been edited by Abyss: 12 March 2013 - 03:28 PM
Reason for edit: edit? what edit?

[Acorn]

Today not only do I have to deal with:

1... not having work (which is not so bad considering the next)
2... Still badly infected molar and overall swollen left face... I look like a bad Dick Tracy villain.
3... Withdraw from a certain overly dependency-driven non-narcotic....
4... a 10 month old getting in HIS molars...
5... a Girlfriend who wants to get married, suddenly after 11 years claiming the TOTAL OPPOSITE...
6... AND this throbbing in my head that says "you actually thought she meant that? REALLY? What's wrong with you!"

But of course.... something I did with my email address or downloaded led my contacts list (abysmally small thankfully) to be spammed some link to hell. I honestly hope some of them clicked it...

Still tracking down all the things that could've triggered it - I've only downloaded one thing the last week or so, and that was last night, so I assumed it was that... Already purged my computer of the files, embarrassingly enough it's a kids game that I'd already had for him... Who spikes a kids game download?

This post has been edited by Acorn: 12 March 2013 - 07:09 PM

[HiddenOne]

Macros, on 11 March 2013 - 03:59 PM, said:

Hungover at work, crawling through a sub basemen.
this is not a good day for Macros

How do you get to be a construction worker that travels the world? I just have to know

[worry]

Congrats on the engagement, Acorn!

[Assail]

I'm in a separation seminar for the Marine Corps and we have a lot of Veteran Affairs guys coming in talking about health and seeing someone before you get out. As they ramble off a lot of the symptoms that they've personally experienced, or seen, I find a lot of those same symptoms hitting home for me, and it's disconcerting to think that I may have issues that I'm not really aware of that maybe I should talk to someone about. It's somewhat shameful to me, and a little confusing as this is the first time I've really had the opportunity to listen to anyone from the VA that deals with issues that are prominent in my field of work these past 4 years. I dunno, it's just fucking with me it's not the most pleasant experience.

[Mezla PigDog]

Assail, you've been doing something that a lot of people can't even imagine. No harm ever came of going for a chat with someone who knows their shit in your field. Don't dwell on if you are fucked up or not, just go and talk to someone and see what they have to offer. You can decide if it is confusing or shameful afterwards if it turns out to be a load of bull.

[worry]

Yah...actually shame comes unbidden to a lot of people who deal with PTSD (on any level and for a variety of reasons). It's a feeling you gotta work through and beyond, I think, to get to honest healing. It's all a process, and might require you to tap a different source of bravery than the one you're already used to. Looking at it from outside one's own head-space can be difficult, but the fact is there is no shame in PTSD any more than there is in having liver cancer.

[amphibian]

Nah, you gotta look at it like this - pretty much everybody is fucked up in some way. Your goal is to find out exactly which kinds of fucked up you are and unfuck them or make the fuckedupness less.

It's just a different flavor of fuckedupness you're possibly finding out about. Hopefully it tastes better after a while.

Best of luck.

- A fellow fucked up, but in different ways person.

[Darkwatch]

The more I swim the more I realize that ligaments exist.

[worry]

Should the United States interpret the existence of Gordon Ramsey's Hell's Kitchen as an act of war?

[Assail]

Mezla PigDog, on 12 March 2013 - 10:05 PM, said:

Assail, you've been doing something that a lot of people can't even imagine. No harm ever came of going for a chat with someone who knows their shit in your field. Don't dwell on if you are fucked up or not, just go and talk to someone and see what they have to offer. You can decide if it is confusing or shameful afterwards if it turns out to be a load of bull.

I just feel stupid in some regards, as I should be able to handle myself and my own emotions/feelings, and it seems kinda crazy to go and talk to someone and have them tell me how to fix myself when they know next to nothing about me. I dunno, hard to explain I guess.

worrywort, on 12 March 2013 - 10:23 PM, said:

Yah...actually shame comes unbidden to a lot of people who deal with PTSD (on any level and for a variety of reasons). It's a feeling you gotta work through and beyond, I think, to get to honest healing. It's all a process, and might require you to tap a different source of bravery than the one you're already used to. Looking at it from outside one's own head-space can be difficult, but the fact is there is no shame in PTSD any more than there is in having liver cancer.

Like I said to Mezla, I just don't want to be apart of that statistic, much like I didn't want to become a part of the whole divorce statistic, but it happened and I am ashamed that I couldn't succeed at marriage... I reckon this is just one more thing I don't want to fail at.. if you can really fail at it? Just some thoughts running around in my head. It's been a stressful couple weeks, reckon that might have to do with my current attitude towards things.

amphibian, on 12 March 2013 - 11:08 PM, said:

Nah, you gotta look at it like this - pretty much everybody is fucked up in some way. Your goal is to find out exactly which kinds of fucked up you are and unfuck them or make the fuckedupness less.

It's just a different flavor of fuckedupness you're possibly finding out about. Hopefully it tastes better after a while.

Best of luck.

- A fellow fucked up, but in different ways person.

Lol, the key being finding out what kind of fuckupness I am Thanks for the laugh Amph

This post has been edited by Assail: 13 March 2013 - 06:33 AM

[worry]

I hear you loud and clear, I'm just emphasizing that the feeling of failure (which is natural for some to have, and which one can and should strive to overcome) is entirely separate from the reality where failure is an irrelevant concept. You can't will yourself to not develop PTSD any more than you can will yourself to not develop Parkinson's disease. So in that sense, the divorce analogy breaks down. In other words, "as I should be able to handle myself and my own emotions/feelings" is a valid conscious response you may have to deal with, but it's not a medical reality that this is how it works.

And hey, you'd be a statistic either way, right? For every 4 out of 5 dentists who recommend Trident, there's that 1 out of 5 who doesn't.