Anomander, on 10 April 2010 - 03:17 PM, said:
As has been said a lot lately, "You'll have a hard time convincing your average Canadian that global warming is a bad thing."
Of course it's a bad thing.
It's just the lot of you people are like instant gratification monkeys that don't appreciate winter and all the benefits it brings.
Because of the longer and warmer seasons black widow spiders that could not establish themselves further north will be able to survive. Not to mention we're screwed if killer bees move up the east cost or get over the Rockies from the west.
You think colds and the flu are bad? Wait till it's warm enough here to worry about all those wonderful diseases that flourish down south in humid environments (since the east coast is particularly humid this is a bad thing).
Not to mention the human Botfly will also be able to migrate north.
Delightful creatures.
And the amount of insects in general will just go up, fun times.
You like maple syrup? Well tough luck if things keep getting warmer, there won't be a season for it in the future.
Skiing seasons will go down the tube pretty quickly as well, same for outdoor skating.
You like heat, you say. Well that's fine, but remember those heat waves? Yeah those sucked, and they'll be more common and murderous. Europe has been having that problem with heat waves killing people in hospitals.
I should also mention that getting cancer from frostbite is unheard off, but melanoma loves summer.
You see summer is like a whore.
She's hot, inviting and ready to please, to give you that instant gratification you want.
You mistake her body's warmth and sweaty skin for arousal and that makes you feel good.
It's not until a week later that you realize you have this itchy feeling. Next thing you know you're infested with insects off all kinds, or strange and often deadly viruses and diseases.
You're reaction is "Fuck! What have I done!" Then Summer shows up again and invites you to go play beach volley ball. You're not sure, but she drops her bra and you end up having sex again which makes you forget temporarily that you're having fun in what is arguably Pandora's box.
As things get worse nothing but the sex can keep your mind of your degrading situation and so it becomes frequent, and you think you like Summer because obviously you're having sex almost everyday. Really though you're only fooling yourself.
Winter on the other hand is a beautiful chaste woman.
She's cold, distant and often
seems disdainful of you. She's not here to please you. She's here to help you.
You have trouble getting close to her since she has two over protective brothers called Cold and Flu. Cold is more of a mild annoyance but since people hate annoyance they hate cold and by extension Winter herself. Flu is a bit more dangerous, specifically because he has a friend called Pneumonia who was shot down by Winter and doesn't like your face. But in general Flu isn't around Winter all the time, since he hangs out with Summer a fair bit (The Spanish Flu occurred in a warm country, avian flu 2.0 occurred in a warm country and swine flu occurred in a warm country. Interesting no?)
She can get angry and bury you in snow and ice. What you aren't hearing though is what she's yelling.
It's like one of those star crossed love stories. Her family doesn't want you to be with her, but she does like you. She can't always show it though, and thus is required to be more subtle. She protects you from all those infestations Summer tries to bring.
She makes the world a magical place with snow for you. She offers you a chance to enjoy yourself with sports that are almost impossible to
easily recreate indoors, if at all.
But she can get mad when you fail to notice these things, she might even try to frost bite your nose. But ultimately she doesn't want to. She may not open her legs for you but she does sincerely care for you where Summer does not.
She's the kind of woman you have to work for, but since people don't like work they tend towards Summer and her open legs.
Help
