[George Lucas]

Raymond Luxury Yacht;363613 said:

Mr Lucas, there's a couple of...small...points I'd like to bring up about what was wrong with the last three movies...

I know, I know.

But don't worry: Jar-Jar will be back in the new movie. He now has 134% more screen time than he ever had in Episode I. It is not a coincidence that my popularity declined almost perfectly in step with the reduction in screen time I gave to my most popular character.

The following plot shows this quite clearly (note: the marketing guys tell me we don't have precise figures pre-1999, but we expect that popularity before my creation of Jar-Jar was likely to be around zero).

[George Lucas]

Trouble;363627 said:

George, Can you make a sequel to American Graffiti, but with Ewoks? That would be the tits!

Your faithful fan,

Trouble

You idiot! Everyone knows that prequels are where it's at. I've told Spielberg this so many times, but he just won't listen.

However, I do like the Ewoks idea. I'm sure I can convince Ron Howard to wear one of those fuzzy little suits. He needs the hair.

Your idea is now mine, and patented. Use it on these boards again and I'll sue.

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

Please tell me the new movie will contain aliens demonstrating barely concealed racial stereotypes? We love it when you do that.

[George Lucas]

How can a gungan be a racial stereotype? They are what they are.

Hmmmmm. Going off your potrait, Mr. Luxury Yacht (if that is indeed your real name), I may have a part for you in my next big motion picture. It's about a Jewish car mechanic.

Your acting skills are not relevant for this role. I must simply see you on location, interacting with your environment.



Hmm. Yes, this could work.

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

I have to warn you, I have been known to use inflection and expression in my voice. Based off of your recent work, this may make me nsuitable for a leading role in one of your films.

[George Lucas]

We can just edit that out later - it's all just sound effects. How do you look with a beard?

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

Scraggely. It should work.

[Illuyankas]

*coughLifeDaySpecialcough*

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

What's that?

[Illuyankas]

You never heard of the Life Day Special? Well, it also went under a different name, of the Holiday Special.

For example:



And:



Oh, and:




Here's an indepth explanation for you.

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

Oh, the HOliday special. Iknew about that. I just had never heard it called the llifeday special. What the hell is life day?

[Illuyankas]

That's what they called the celebration the Special was about. Seriously, the link has it the special down pat. Or whatever that phrase means.

[Raymond Luxury Yacht]

Maybe I should actually read the link.

[George Lucas]

My dear Raymond Yacht, don't be such a gullible idiot. It's been comprehensively proven that the holiday special never happened. Take look at the Star Wars DVDs. Is it on there? No. Why not? Never happened.

On a more upbeat note, I got a message from a fan in my private mailbox today:

Stephanie said:

Hi,
I'm new here, how's it going?

"Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected in a cosmic religion for the future: it transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology; it covers both the natural & spiritual, and it is based on a religious sense aspiring from the experience of all things as a meaningful unity" - Albert Einstein

Einstein was a hack. He's basically stolen my idea for midi-chlorians and passed it off as his own. "Buddhism" wtf is that, anyway? Stephanie, thank you for bringing this bag of lies to my attention.

[cerveza_fiesta]

this thread is the best ever.

99% win 1% awesome

good ratios there.

[dktorode]

Awesome!!!

[Abyss]

In the holiday special's defence, the animated bit where Chewy gets hopped up on scooby snacks, folds C3PO into a box and then does non-species appropriate things to Han is bloody brilliant.

- Abyss, ...what?

[Yellow]

Oh my god, my ears just died:

Carrie Fisher singing Happy Life Day to the theme tune of Star Wars

Did these people have such shitty contracts they had to take part in this raping of the Lore?

[Abyss]

Yes, yes they did.
And we love them for it.


- Abyss, ...oh, c'mon, it's like Nimoy and Shatner's musical efforts, it's an icon of legendary sf...

[McLovin]

a special preview DVD was included with a recent issue of TV guide. shows Anakin leading an attack up the side of a cliff (walkers can climb, who knew?) which, like many things Star Wars, begs the question of how people from such an advanced civilization can be so fncking stupid. just fly in on a gunship and land on top of the cliff!!!