Malazan Empire: Star Wars: The Clone Wars - Malazan Empire

Jump to content

  • 15 Pages +
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • Last »
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

Star Wars: The Clone Wars

#21 User is offline   George Lucas 

  • Recruit
  • Group: Banned Users
  • Posts: 7
  • Joined: 02-August 08

Posted 02 August 2008 - 09:58 AM

Raymond Luxury Yacht;363613 said:

Mr Lucas, there's a couple of...small...points I'd like to bring up about what was wrong with the last three movies...


I know, I know.

But don't worry: Jar-Jar will be back in the new movie. He now has 134% more screen time than he ever had in Episode I. It is not a coincidence that my popularity declined almost perfectly in step with the reduction in screen time I gave to my most popular character.

The following plot shows this quite clearly (note: the marketing guys tell me we don't have precise figures pre-1999, but we expect that popularity before my creation of Jar-Jar was likely to be around zero).

Posted Image

#22 User is offline   George Lucas 

  • Recruit
  • Group: Banned Users
  • Posts: 7
  • Joined: 02-August 08

Posted 02 August 2008 - 09:59 AM

Trouble;363627 said:

George, Can you make a sequel to American Graffiti, but with Ewoks? That would be the tits!

Your faithful fan,

Trouble


You idiot! Everyone knows that prequels are where it's at. I've told Spielberg this so many times, but he just won't listen.

However, I do like the Ewoks idea. I'm sure I can convince Ron Howard to wear one of those fuzzy little suits. He needs the hair.

Your idea is now mine, and patented. Use it on these boards again and I'll sue.

#23 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

  • Throatwobbler Mangrove
  • Group: Grumpy Old Sods
  • Posts: 5,555
  • Joined: 02-July 06
  • Location:The Emerald City
  • Interests:Quiet desperation and self-loathing

Posted 02 August 2008 - 10:03 AM

Please tell me the new movie will contain aliens demonstrating barely concealed racial stereotypes? We love it when you do that.
Error: Signature not valid
0

#24 User is offline   George Lucas 

  • Recruit
  • Group: Banned Users
  • Posts: 7
  • Joined: 02-August 08

Posted 02 August 2008 - 10:27 AM

How can a gungan be a racial stereotype? They are what they are.

Hmmmmm. Going off your potrait, Mr. Luxury Yacht (if that is indeed your real name), I may have a part for you in my next big motion picture. It's about a Jewish car mechanic.

Your acting skills are not relevant for this role. I must simply see you on location, interacting with your environment.

Posted Image

Hmm. Yes, this could work.

#25 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

  • Throatwobbler Mangrove
  • Group: Grumpy Old Sods
  • Posts: 5,555
  • Joined: 02-July 06
  • Location:The Emerald City
  • Interests:Quiet desperation and self-loathing

Posted 02 August 2008 - 10:29 AM

I have to warn you, I have been known to use inflection and expression in my voice. Based off of your recent work, this may make me nsuitable for a leading role in one of your films.
Error: Signature not valid
0

#26 User is offline   George Lucas 

  • Recruit
  • Group: Banned Users
  • Posts: 7
  • Joined: 02-August 08

Posted 02 August 2008 - 10:35 AM

We can just edit that out later - it's all just sound effects. How do you look with a beard?

#27 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

  • Throatwobbler Mangrove
  • Group: Grumpy Old Sods
  • Posts: 5,555
  • Joined: 02-July 06
  • Location:The Emerald City
  • Interests:Quiet desperation and self-loathing

Posted 02 August 2008 - 10:58 AM

Scraggely. It should work.
Error: Signature not valid
0

#28 User is offline   Illuyankas 

  • Retro Classic
  • Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
  • Posts: 7,254
  • Joined: 28-September 04
  • Will cluck you up

Posted 03 August 2008 - 08:35 PM

*coughLifeDaySpecialcough*
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isnít me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like heís me. Look down, back up, where are you? Youíre in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. Whatís in your hand, back at me. I have it, itís an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. Iím on a quorl.
0

#29 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

  • Throatwobbler Mangrove
  • Group: Grumpy Old Sods
  • Posts: 5,555
  • Joined: 02-July 06
  • Location:The Emerald City
  • Interests:Quiet desperation and self-loathing

Posted 03 August 2008 - 10:07 PM

What's that?
Error: Signature not valid
0

#30 User is offline   Illuyankas 

  • Retro Classic
  • Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
  • Posts: 7,254
  • Joined: 28-September 04
  • Will cluck you up

Posted 03 August 2008 - 10:25 PM

You never heard of the Life Day Special? Well, it also went under a different name, of the Holiday Special.

For example:

Posted Image

And:

Posted Image

Oh, and:

Posted Image


Here's an indepth explanation for you.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isnít me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like heís me. Look down, back up, where are you? Youíre in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. Whatís in your hand, back at me. I have it, itís an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. Iím on a quorl.
0

#31 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

  • Throatwobbler Mangrove
  • Group: Grumpy Old Sods
  • Posts: 5,555
  • Joined: 02-July 06
  • Location:The Emerald City
  • Interests:Quiet desperation and self-loathing

Posted 03 August 2008 - 10:27 PM

Oh, the HOliday special. Iknew about that. I just had never heard it called the llifeday special. What the hell is life day?
Error: Signature not valid
0

#32 User is offline   Illuyankas 

  • Retro Classic
  • Group: The Hateocracy of Truth
  • Posts: 7,254
  • Joined: 28-September 04
  • Will cluck you up

Posted 03 August 2008 - 10:32 PM

That's what they called the celebration the Special was about. Seriously, the link has it the special down pat. Or whatever that phrase means.
Hello, soldiers, look at your mage, now back to me, now back at your mage, now back to me. Sadly, he isnít me, but if he stopped being an unascended mortal and switched to Sole Spice, he could smell like heís me. Look down, back up, where are you? Youíre in a warren with the High Mage your cadre mage could smell like. Whatís in your hand, back at me. I have it, itís an acorn with two gates to that realm you love. Look again, the acorn is now otataral. Anything is possible when your mage smells like Sole Spice and not a Bole brother. Iím on a quorl.
0

#33 User is offline   Raymond Luxury Yacht 

  • Throatwobbler Mangrove
  • Group: Grumpy Old Sods
  • Posts: 5,555
  • Joined: 02-July 06
  • Location:The Emerald City
  • Interests:Quiet desperation and self-loathing

Posted 04 August 2008 - 01:19 AM

Maybe I should actually read the link.
Error: Signature not valid
0

#34 User is offline   George Lucas 

  • Recruit
  • Group: Banned Users
  • Posts: 7
  • Joined: 02-August 08

Posted 08 August 2008 - 07:21 AM

My dear Raymond Yacht, don't be such a gullible idiot. It's been comprehensively proven that the holiday special never happened. Take look at the Star Wars DVDs. Is it on there? No. Why not? Never happened.

On a more upbeat note, I got a message from a fan in my private mailbox today:

Stephanie said:

Hi,
I'm new here, how's it going?

"Buddhism has the characteristics of what would be expected in a cosmic religion for the future: it transcends a personal God, avoids dogmas and theology; it covers both the natural & spiritual, and it is based on a religious sense aspiring from the experience of all things as a meaningful unity" - Albert Einstein


Einstein was a hack. He's basically stolen my idea for midi-chlorians and passed it off as his own. "Buddhism" wtf is that, anyway? Stephanie, thank you for bringing this bag of lies to my attention.

#35 User is offline   cerveza_fiesta 

  • Outdoor Tractivities !
  • Group: Malazan Artist
  • Posts: 5,341
  • Joined: 28-August 07
  • Location:Fredericton, NB, Canada
  • Interests:beer, party.

Posted 08 August 2008 - 11:38 AM

this thread is the best ever.

99% win 1% awesome

good ratios there.
........oOOOOOo
......//| | |oO
.....|| | | | O....
BEERS!

......
\\| | | |

........'-----'

0

#36 User is offline   dktorode 

  • Luck is my middle name, Mind you, my first name is Bad."
  • Group: High House Mafia
  • Posts: 2,188
  • Joined: 03-September 05

Posted 08 August 2008 - 12:08 PM

Awesome!!!
...┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐...

Why dont they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?
0

#37 User is offline   Abyss 

  • abyssus abyssum invocat
  • Group: Administrators
  • Posts: 20,033
  • Joined: 22-May 03
  • Location:The call is coming from inside the house!!!!
  • Interests:Interesting.

Posted 08 August 2008 - 02:38 PM

In the holiday special's defence, the animated bit where Chewy gets hopped up on scooby snacks, folds C3PO into a box and then does non-species appropriate things to Han is bloody brilliant.

- Abyss, ...what?
THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
0

#38 User is offline   Yellow 

  • Sick and Tired
  • Group: High House Mafia
  • Posts: 1,703
  • Joined: 22-February 05

Posted 08 August 2008 - 03:54 PM

Oh my god, my ears just died:

Carrie Fisher singing Happy Life Day to the theme tune of Star Wars

Did these people have such shitty contracts they had to take part in this raping of the Lore?
Don't fuck with the Culture.
0

#39 User is offline   Abyss 

  • abyssus abyssum invocat
  • Group: Administrators
  • Posts: 20,033
  • Joined: 22-May 03
  • Location:The call is coming from inside the house!!!!
  • Interests:Interesting.

Posted 08 August 2008 - 04:17 PM

Yes, yes they did.
And we love them for it.


- Abyss, ...oh, c'mon, it's like Nimoy and Shatner's musical efforts, it's an icon of legendary sf...
THIS IS YOUR REMINDER THAT THERE IS A
'VIEW NEW CONTENT' BUTTON THAT
ALLOWS YOU TO VIEW NEW CONTENT
0

#40 User is offline   McLovin 

  • Cutlery Enthusiast
  • Group: Malaz Regular
  • Posts: 2,828
  • Joined: 19-March 04
  • Location:Dallas, Texas, USA
  • Interests:Knives. Stabbing. Stabbing with knives.

Posted 14 August 2008 - 01:21 PM

a special preview DVD was included with a recent issue of TV guide. shows Anakin leading an attack up the side of a cliff (walkers can climb, who knew?) which, like many things Star Wars, begs the question of how people from such an advanced civilization can be so fncking stupid. just fly in on a gunship and land on top of the cliff!!!
OK, I think I got it, but just in case, can you say the whole thing over again? I wasn't really listening.
0

Share this topic:


  • 15 Pages +
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • Last »
  • You cannot start a new topic
  • You cannot reply to this topic

1 User(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users