Malazan Empire: The Badass List of Badass characters - Malazan Empire

I would like all of you to help me in constructing an ordered list of the most badass characters in the Malazan universe. I'm only part way through Bonehunters, so my knowledge may be imperfect, but I've got something of an idea.

Copy and add to the list as you see fit, try to justify if you make a big change. I know there are many characters I missed, some who would rank highly except that I've forgotten their names.


Most Badass
Kaiser Soze* (Gangster of extraordinary badassness)
Karsa Orlong (This should be obvious)
Maddox* (Manly web personality)
Coltaine (Plain raw, and is reborn in a storm of a legion of crows, which is damn badass)
Dassem Ultor (Even by reputation alone)
Terminator* (The original, as played by Arnold Schwarzenegger, an excellent dictionary definition for badass)
Ceda Kura Quan (We think he's insane, but in reality he's just getting ready to go all DBZ on Hassan Mossag's ass (sp?))
Caladan Brood (He has a giant hammer and anger issues, tell me that's not badass)
Icarium (Badass when he's mad to the point of being able to destroy whole cities. Resembles the Hulk, kind of a tool, but not completely)
Mael (Badass for a manservant when pretending to be Bugg, but ratchets it up a few notches when he sees Tehol injured and reveals himself)
Baudin (He's hardcore)
Lostara Yil (A sexy dancer and a badass slayer! No wonder Pearl falls for her)
Eres'al (A time-travelin', sorcery-unravelin', neanderthalic sex machine. That's pretty badass, for someone whose culture is 200,000 years for being able to describe "badass")
Brys Beddict (Dutiful, but still an awesome swordsman. Taunting Rhulad with wine-swigging was an example of ill-advised badassery)
Forkrul Assail, collectively (Crazy, but also badass)
Godzilla* (Gigantic Japanese monster)
Silchas Ruin (Beats Anomander due to his aura of mystique. Tender, but in a badass way)
Cotillion (Flowery name, and a dancer. Kind of fruity? Maybe, but was badass as a mortal and his badassery survived the transition to ascendant. Not bad!)
Kilmandaros (An elder god who takes no **** from anyone, way more badass than any other elder god introduced thus far, at least in her prime)
Apsalar (pretty badass, though a little emo at times, can slay a lot of stuff and acting less emo recently)
Laseen (Demoted, but still pretty badass - she managed to coup an empire with nary a hiccup, and has big plans for it)
Redmask (Weilds crazy, badass weapons? Check. Fights without mercy for a just cause against insurmountable odds? Check. Is a mortal sword of freakin' dinosaurs? Check. Unfortunately, that's as good as it ever gets.)
Rallick Nom (Acts like he has Aspergers, but kills with deadly efficiency)
Tavore Paran (Cold, but badass nonetheless, yet able to feel grief and morally righteous)
Trull (powerful, but very emo, but in a way that is tender yet still strong, supple yet powerful, etc.)
Gruntle (A mighty slayer of legions, fills a building with bodies, but not jaded enough to be truly badass)
Iron Bars (Moved up, I realized he's pretty freaking badass after all)
Toc the Younger (endures unspeakable torture, but keeps some semblance of sanity and even hope. If that isn't badass, what is?)
Ganoes Paran ("You don't mess with mortals," what more needs to be said?)
Kalam (Plays the straight man to Quick Ben, otherwise quite badass)
Kilava Onass (Crazy panther lady)
Anomander Rake (Combination of smugness and ennui nullify a large part of his badassness)
The Seguleh, collectively (Badass, but limited in mindset)
John Henry, Steel-driving man* (Legendary railroad worker)
Mappo Trell (Strong as an ox and twice as ugly, but never loses his cool - also able to survive large falls)
Onrack the Broken (Loves him a crazy panther lady, and is pretty good with his sword)
Tayschrenn (Ambitious, cunning and all that, but burdened with all that icky administrative stuff)
Tool (Bored with his eternal parody of life, but has a nifty sense of justice and a little bit of humanity still left)
Rhulad (Kind of a ninny, but he's died and returned, which is pretty badass)
Quick Ben (Only moderately badass in the story itself, but extremely badass backstory. I hear he gets more badass with Reaper's Gale, but haven't read it)
Fiddler (Way too world-weary to be really badass, but just the right amount of crazy to be a Bridgeburner sapper and yet still alive, which deserves credit, also a badass violinist, which isn't all that badassed a talent however)
Vince Lombardi* (Famous NFL football coach, a real hardass)
Kallor (Very badass in his prime, but long past it)
Gesler (More attitude than Fiddler, but no musical talent)
Stormy (Crazy, but not in a Pust-like)
Kruppe (A master spy and obese slob simultaneously - more than meets the eye)
Tehol Beddict (As badass as a venture capitalist can possibly be)
Lady Envy (Powerful, but vain and kind of silly)
Iskaral Pust (Is he crazy? Probably. Does he get the job done? Hood yeah!)
Torvald Nom (For a disposable human character, he is rather bold and daring. Badass for an everyman)
GreyFrog (He's a hungry horny toad, which is pretty badass, but he's too nice to be really hardcore)
Shadowthrone (Quite possibly insane. May have a high capacity for badassness, but has not yet demonstrated it)
Osric (A jerk, but not a badass jerk)
The Hounds, Collectively
Don Quixote* (Addled but courageous knight errant)
Iskaral Pust's Mule (A stubborn mule, which demands that we acknowledge he is a bad ass as well)
Cutter (Most emo assassin ever)
Least Badass (but still Badass)
L'oric (More badass than Whiskeyjack, or to be more precise: not quite asperfect an embodiment of non-badassness as Whiskeyjack is)
Whiskeyjack (He's just not badass)

*Not a Malazan character, for reference only

Pust's donkey is pretty disobedient, I suppose.

Ganoes and Tavore are more badass than Rake, Kallor, Iron Bars and Icarium?

Nope.

and it can set up a tent, start a fire and boil water for tea.

this thread is now about the donkeygoth! gogogo

haha i keed i keed.

if kalams the straight man to QB then QB has to be in there, read on and find out why.

edit: @Brood, i dont think he's ranking them, just listing, but i could be wrong, and if i am, then your right.

I am ranking, that's why there's "Most badass" at the top and "least badass" at the bottom.

I also tried to justify, but as I said you can certainly reform the list as you desire. Also, I'm reminded that I forgot Caladan Brood and Quick Ben

Does anyone have a problem with Karsa Orlong at the top spot?

well you dont have tayschrenn up there for one. also his name is rallick nom not rellick, i think rellick is someone else but i cant remember who atm. also i would say hood being the god of death should be on a list of badassness.
EDIT oh and apsalar as well as she did cut through a load of claw, pretty badass imo

And baudin belongs there too.

Hood, however, does nothing, and is apparently an douche besides, so I'm going to leave him off for now. I forsee badassery from him in future books, but not as of yet.

oh right then how about Gothos or Raest, ooh and kilimandaros

baudin;356573 said:

Rellick/Relic is the name of the town bum in the (very bad IMO) Canadian TV series called the The Beachcombers.

Now no longer televised except maybe as late night reruns - thank God.

OHA

As far as I've read, Gothos appeared once. Raest got owned, just as every creature summoned from 100,000 year imprisonment is (I'm in the middle of BH right now, and I'm expecting the vampire divers to get its ass handed to it any chapter now), and all I know about Kilmandaros is that she beat up Scabandari Bloodeye and has a badass name... Which is actually, now that I think about it, enough to qualify her.

HalfTere;356590 said:

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHA..................OOPS, umm oh never mind.

I think Tehol Beddict is quite badass as well.

Besides that his story is fun to read, he's very ruthless in destroying the economy of Letheras.

He even mentions it to Janath (the scholar) that all the people that are dying because of his actions are better then more generations of people in debt.

Stormy is bad assed, and Gesler for that matter! Annealed in thyr, Tellann and Liosan (well, actually Gesler's nose is bad assed, takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin')

Sinisdar Toste;356601 said:

Come on! look at the scorecard of creatures unleashed from age-old prisons (or incredibly powerful demons summoned by arcane rituals)!

Creature: Result
Raest: Takes a short stroll through the countryside, before being taken by a combination of magic, high-explosives, and Azath
K'Chain Che'Melle in MoI: Owned by almost everyone at some point or another
That Crazy Axe-wielding Demon who fights Rake: Dragnipur'd
Demon who possessed a Toblakai in Seven Cities: Owned by Kalam Mekhar, Twice
Fokrul Assail from House of Chains: Still at large, but expect Karsa to demolish it next time they meet
2 Deragoth: Ripped to shreds by Karsa Orlong
Giant Sea Demon in Midnight Tides: Imprisoned by Omtose Phellack and it's own gullibility
Forkrul Assail in Midnight Tides: Still at large, ran away
Tarthenal Toblakai: Owned by Silchas Ruin
Silchas Ruin: At large, but special since he's not just a random demon or creature but an actual character
Vampire Diver's: Still at large as of middle of Bonehunters, but should get owned soon enough
Jaghut who chats with Ganoes: Still at large, but special due to presumable benevolence

And of course, the grand-daddy of all summoned demons/anciently imprisoned powers,
The Crippled God Round 1: Called down from the heavens, owned by the collective efforts of a large number of ascendants
The Crippled God Round 2: Breaks his chains, still at large, but we know that he's going to be marinating in his own defeat eventually, probably around the end of book 10.

HalfTere;356979 said:

There's also the Jaghut that Karsa released (I think in HoC). I forget what exactly happened to her, though.

Keep in mind that a lot of these creatures are released deliberately, by powers that know what they're doing. If you're releasing something ancient and extremely powerful, then you probably also plan on a way to either control it or kill it after it completes whatever task you're looking for. Being imprisoned for 100,000+ years isn't exactly conducive to controlling and planning your own destiny.

The answer is Wolverine.


- Abyss, ...but then, you all already knew that...

Quote

your idea of a short stroll being fighting off 5 dragons with relative ease? :eek: i really dont want to live near you...

that was kind of a stupid outburst by me, but you'll see why i did it when you finish.

that is a deep theme of the books though, ancient hoary power getting bested by the new kids on the block.

Hey,

How's about the dude on the beach that does the archeology that knocks Karsa the f&*^" out! Can't remeber his name, but he was part of the old guard. Anyone remember?
He is one of the tops in badassery!

That's Urko Crust and besides being very muscular and cheapshoting Karsa he's not anywhere close to the top of the badass list