[Abyss]

Indulge me as a squirm in textual glee, but arriving at my doorstep as i type...

Scott Lynch's RED SEAS UNDER RED SKIES.
Richard Morgan's BLACK MAN.
Warren Ellis' CROOKED LITTLE VEIN.

My month is made.

- Abyss, now needs to *cough* develop a *cough hack* serious *gasp wheeze cough* illness and stay * cough phlegmy cough* home...

[paladin]

one day amazon.ca will ship reapers gale.. already been all freakin summer and its still delayed. that will be my best ever i hope

[Falco]

Mmmm, hope your not disappointed Abyss. I was a bit by the hard-earned I shelled out on the first two...

[Obdigore]

Red Seas is pretty good.... parts that bothered me, but still pretty good.

[mxlm]

Black Man am awesomeness.

[Falco]

I've always rated Morgan's Kovacs work as his best, and RSUS had its cons as well as its pros.

[caladanbrood]

Abyss;207349 said:

Scott Lynch's RED SEAS UNDER RED SKIES.
Richard Morgan's BLACK MAN.
Warren Ellis' CROOKED LITTLE VEIN.

First one, absolutely - possibly even better than Lies of...
Second one, lets hope so, it's next up on my bookshelf
Last one, whoey what? Never heard of the author or the book. Care to elaborate?

[polishgenius]

Shit, I totally forgot Ellis had a novel out.

@ Brood, he's a comic writer. A very very good one. Best known for Transmetropolitan, Planetary, Stormwatch, and The Authority. Renowned for his brilliantly acerbic humour, and for being genuinely edgy in his work, rather than just pretending.
Don't think the book's a fantasy or sci-fi. Could be wrong.

Those first two books are awesomeness.

[ch'arlz]

polishgenius;207378 said:

Shit, I totally forgot Ellis had a novel out.

@ Brood, he's a comic writer. A very very good one. Best known for Transmetropolitan, Planetary, Stormwatch, and The Authority. Renowned for his brilliantly acerbic humour, and for being genuinely edgy in his work, rather than just pretending.
Don't think the book's a fantasy or sci-fi. Could be wrong.

Ellis's book is a quick, laugh outloud read. Down-on-his-luck, strung-out private detective is approached by the White House Chief of Staff to recover a copy of the Constitution that will permit mind control of the masses. Much weirdness ensues. It's more surreal than fantasy/scifi.

-ch'arlz

[Mort]

Pretty good delivery Abyss-mal!

If I was guaranteed deliveries like that (and a respite from the atrocious standard of US covers in general, Neal Stephenson's Quicksilver series excepted) I would actually conssider having Amazon deliver down to my neck of the Antipodes.

Black Man was worthwhile... but did feel more derivative than the Kovacs series.

[Abyss]

Naturally, since i wasn't home, the nice postal people didn't just, say, leave it on my frikkin doorstep. Curiously, they didn't leave one of those notes saying to pick it up the next day, either, so i suppose they may try again today. The amazon tracking page only says 'out for delivery' as of yesterday...

Re above comments, opinion seems split on RED SKIES, but overall it seems those who liked LIES liked it, and i did, so i bought. I'm also big on supporting new authors who do quality good fun fiction. The world needs more Scott Lynch's and less (pretentious, annoying) Terry Goodkinds and (protracted, gouging fans, stupidly delayed) Robert Jordans.

BLACK MAN... i really, REALLY liked Morgan's Kovacs series. MARKET FORCES wasn't nearly as good, but it predates those books by a good few years at least. Willing to give him a shot.

Warren Ellis is a genius and a guru and possibly our saviour reborn into a hateful, heavy drinking, sarcastic bastard brit. He wrote the few comics i ever thought were truly brilliant and so, for CROOKED LITTLE VEIN, his first novel, he gets my money. From what i understand, it's more sf than fantlit, and a bit of alt hist and just outright craziness.

Of course, by pre-ordering all the above, i got nice discounts that, imnsho, offset the cost increase over waiting for them to come out a year plus later in mmpb or clearance bins.

- Abyss, is trying, really, REALLY hard, not to have deja vu of his Reaper's Gale amazon deliverypocalypse...

[Abyss]

Amazing.

Amazon tracking says it's delivered.

But i don't have it and neither does the post office.

It was supposed to be signed for, but they don't have a signed delivery slip.

This is it. Unleash Hell.

- Abyss, warms up the spoonz....

[Aptorian]

Abyss;207622 said:

Amazing.

Amazon tracking says it's delivered.

But i don't have it and neither does the post office.

It was supposed to be signed for, but they don't have a signed delivery slip.

This is it. Unleash Hell.

- Abyss, warms up the spoonz....

...

Abyss versus The Delivery Service, part deux!

I love this show.

[Zanth13]

gotta love the postal system....'

The military handles my mail once it reaches post and they just love to send it to everyone but me.... I get maybe 1 in 3 things sent to me on time if at all.


- Never trust someone paid by the Government... not even yourself.

[mxlm]

Part deux? Gimme a linky to the first part!

[Aptorian]

mxlm;207684 said:

Part deux? Gimme a linky to the first part!

It's in the inn somewhere, it's one of the threads about RG arriving. The Poor Abyss Cat entertained us for days back then.

Try searching for threads that Abyss started about RG.

[mxlm]

Oh dear.

Poor, poor Abyss.

[Abyss]

Y'know how in some fiction, the author takes three utterly unconencted events or plot lines, and starts the story, and you figure, no WAY he can tie all this together, and then by the end it's like whoa, the flood in Kuala Lampur, that photo on the internet of Britney's Spears' left labia and the koala in the san diego zoo that got syphillis from the zookeeper's wife ARE all connected... well this is playing out something like that, only, at least as far as i know, no one's slipped rohypnol to a marsupial. Yet. As far as i know.

i've been away on worky stuff for the better part of a week. Before i left, i sent an assortment of borderline hostile/vengeful emails and phone messages to amazon, canada post, my local post office, and the relevant credit card company. All carefully cross-reference with all my contact details including cel phone digits. And it's dead quite. Quiet like a grave if Tiste is passing by or Rodeo happens to be driving a tractor in the vicinity... except that someone keeps leaving me messages in croatian. Or possibly hungarian. And they are mentioning a phone number, but the rest of the message is so unclear that i was assuming it was a crank.

So i get back from bizness and this am i start calling people and just generally being an angry consumer.... where the hell are my books, corporate goat lickers!?!!! Eventually, by begging, pleading, threatening and lying about connections to politicians and/or organized crime, i get a Canada Post manager level guy on the phone. It went something like this...

- Is this name, position?
- Yes it is.
- This is Mr. Byss. Are you familiar with my complaint?
- Umm, just a moment, let me see here... *sounds of typing, papers flipped, hushed urging of someone to move their butt cheeks and stray clothing off the desk, glasses clink and possibly a condom wrapper is crumpled*... yes, i see you didn't receive your package?
- Yes. Over a week ago. Yet CPost is telling amazon it's been delivered.
- Yes, i see here a signature was required. Could someone else have signed for you and misplaced it.
- Who signed for it?
- Pardon?
- Whose. Signature. Is. On. The. Paper?
- Oh, well, we don't have that here, the computer just...
- Go look at it.
- Excuse me.
- Somewhere out there is a paper that allegedly was signed by someone at my address. Go find it. Fax it to me. Show me who signed it.
- Oh, well, we don't generally...
- ...deliver packages apparently.
- Sir, I understand that you're annoyed, but there's no need to be...
- Listen i realize you didn't personally screw up the delivery, but apprently the buck stops at your desk. So find the paper. Have someone read the name to you, and tell me what it says.
- Oh, um, certainly we could...
- You can find my package or reimburse me the entire cost plus inconvenience. Those are the only two options. I'm trying... REALLY hard... to facilitate the first one. Go find the paper. Call me back.

And then i check my messages at home to see if amazon has gotten back to me.

And i have a message. From like, a 12 year old.

"- Hello? This is for A Byss... my grandma has your package. She doesn't want to give it back to the mailman. You can call her at digits."

So i call. A woman answers. Just from her voice, i know she is old. Not from these here parts. And possibly senile. And possibly a carefully hidden ww2 war criminal.

- Hi, this is A Byss, i think you left me a message?
- Oh, yassss, ve have yoah pickage. They leef in my doah, but i no trust post, zo i call and i call and i think you no home but my grand dotter, she speak, she say she call, so i zay yez, you call, and she call and...
- Thank you so much. Do you have the package?
- Oh, yezz, i have, i have, you come heah, i give i no trust ze post becuz once, back in ze old country...
- Wonderful, thank you, may i have your address?
- Yez, i am at zee corner of hear and zere and ze nukber is theez and i'm near the buz stop and i no know why they leev package with me, i hates zem, i hates zem so...

And somehow i get off the phone, trying to surpress the notion that Eva Braun is alive and well and has my books.

Somehow, my package, with my name, address and phone digits, and a signature required, was left in the door of an old woman, about a kilometer from my house.

I can't WAIT until CPost gets back to me.
I dread what state it may be in by the time i get it back.

- Abyss, firing up the spoonzsaw.

[Flawed]

CPost isnt based in Dorset is it? It would explain A LOT!

[Aptorian]

I so wanted the package to be in bulgaria or something and the next instalment in this thread being Abysscats gone wild in the Eastern Block.
[que weird indiana jones/barry white fusion track]

Oh well, do tell if the old lady is hot and wealthy.

Apt, never misses a golden oppertunity...