[Kage-za]

I thought I would try and start a thread for a little fun and a specific type of crazy speculation about the big conflagration of a convergence that is going to happen in RG. At the end of tBH, it seems like Karsa, Iccy, and Rhulad are headed for a heck of a three-way cage match. So the question is, since power draws power, who else could you imagine getting drawn into the fray to make it TEH AWESOMEST CONFLAGRATION EVER!!!!!

All you have to do is say who you want to see in the battle, and come up with a theory for how/why they get involved. After that it's as simple as "Wolverine for the win!"

So...
My theory is that Traveller/Dassem is going to get pulled into the fray because he picked up Scabby's soul on Drift Avali, which compels him to seek out the usurper of the Edur throne. This will of course bring in Ruin, possibly Rake, and maybe even Hood himsel. Iccy on blender mode vs. the finest swords in the land (Karsa's stone blade, Dassem's Vengeance, Rhulad's mottled blade, and Rake's Dragnipur), for the most incredible scene ever written.

[Locke Reaper]

Well the five you just mentioned made it a no contest for anyone else. Elder gods would be fodder, ala Darconis. Any mortal worth his salt would hide under the nearest rock, ST and cotillion are a bit worse for wear at the moment and everyone else will cirlce like the vultures they are to see whats up for grabs in the end.

So unless Paran blesses the whole 14th and we get some tag teams going nothing is going to remain in lether except karsa and iccy,

[Paleman]

If Fiddler was to be on the edge of siad battlefield, couldn't he (with his newly acquired awesome crossbow) just send in a few cussers, a couple of sharpers and a flamer or two and wipe the whole lot out. I know Rhulas's sword keeps bringing him back but would it work if it's been blown to bits?

[Abyss]

Just via the 14th, we have influences from Oponn (Corabb), the Eres (Bottle), Shadow (tho only generally, since Kalam and Apsalar seem to have both left for now), Hood (QB, tho again absent), D'rek (Banaschar), Rake (the Andii kids), Sinn (who knows)...

Active on Lether we have Mael, Silchas, Scabby if Fear was successful, everything boiling around in Kettle (NOs, FA, Jimmy Hoffa)...

- Abyss, yeah, this could be HUGE...

[Xaspian]

Don't forget the influence in the 14th from Togg & Fanderay (Grey Suits), Mael (Withal), and possibly a T'lan Imass (Well, Legana Breed - "Tonight, then, I too am a marine. Let us go kill people.")

[Thelomen Toblerone]

Paleman;135666 said:

I know Rhulas's sword keeps bringing him back but would it work if it's been blown to bits?

See that's a question I often wondered about; what if Rhulad's body is hacked to pieces? If someone like Brys beat him but instead of disabling him, killed and chopped him to pieces and scattered the parts across Wu, would he still regenerate?

As for the original question, I can see Mael and Silchas taking part, possibly Rake, but no-one else seems likely IMHO.

[Abyss]

The point is made in the RG prologue that Scabby's soul remains almost as powerful even without his body.

I wonder, if he actually is put inside another body (Fear or someone else's), whether he automatically resumes being draconic soletaken.

So if Silchas is involved, i'm wondering whether Scabby is also involved. And on whose side? Silchas stated at the end of MT that he's not feeling particularly vengeful against the Edur. And if Scabby returns inside of the body of one of Silcas' travelling companions (Fear, Udinass, Wither...) there may be some balance.

But then we'd still have two or more draconic ascendents in the mix, along with everyone else already involved.

Could be. Mess. Y.

- Abyss, wants to read Icarium fighting a draconic soletaken.

[Thelomen Toblerone]

Even if Silchas wasn't too annoyed at the Edur in general, I'm still pretty sure he'd be pi$$ed at Scabby...

I'm hoping for a final showdown, with no backstabbing.

[Urko Crust]

well from the prologue kilmandaros doesnt need a reason to join the fight she just turns up and punches till her hands bleed. also gethol is the herald of the cg so he should be floating around somewhere, and from what he said to Kallor in MoI gothos has a score to settle with him, so jaghut showdown... i wonder if there are any T'lan imass around who will notice. on the other hand everyone could show up for a big fight in lether on page 2, gothos freezes the whole continent on page 3 and the rest of the book is about fishing in the raraku sea

[polishgenius]

I want RG. This is going to be the rumble to end all rumbles. Until the next one comes along.

*taps foot*

Get SE to send me a copy, willya, someone who's in the know? >_>

[Tiste Simeon]

Kage-za said:

So the question is, since power draws power, who else could you imagine getting drawn into the fray to make it TEH AWESOMEST CONFLAGRATION EVER!!!!!

Well it will be, til the final book anyways! Then you know it is going to be one heck of an almighty punch-up!!

I don't know if Rake will actually be part of this. I still have my hopes up of Rake appearing in the rest of the series and kaning everyone in his path... :cool: Though a fight between him and Dassem with Ruin stepping in at some point would be somewhat mind blowing...

[Abyss]

Tiste Simeon;136788 said:

Well it will be, til the final book anyways! Then you know it is going to be one heck of an almighty punch-up!!...

Actually, i figure SE will surprise us all and have it end with an Ascendent group hug and then the CG goes back to his home dimension where he was tragically misunderstood and needs to confront his oppressors in a productive manner and acheive closure.

- Abyss, then again, may prefer a big smash-up with 'splosions and skulls getting crushed.

[Tiste Simeon]

Abyss, no matter what the subject, you make me laugh...
Maybe the final book is all about the counselling the CG goes through.
Or even better, a Malazan style Jerry Springer show!

Abyss, that's your next task - to write the Malazan Jerry Springer!

[Abyss]

I did this ages ago for the original forum but it was lost in the switch, sooooo...


END COMMERCIAL - FADE IN

*slow zoom in on stage, seated from left to right are a somewhat drunk Apsalar and a heavily bandaged Crokus, and two sullen looking Andii: Nimander wearing a 'My Grandfather Invaded the Pannion Domin and all i got was this lousy t-shirt' top, and Phaede wearing an outfit that requires the censor to blur her chest every time she breathes*

CROWD: Cheers, whistles

CUE JERRY

Jerry: We're back! Our topic today, 'I'm mad as hell and i'm not gonna take it any more'. Earlier we watched Apsalar and Cutter try to discuss their relationship.

CROWD: Cheers.

CUT TO: Apsalar smiling at crowd and waving. Cutter tries to lift broken arms unsuccessfully. His hands sort of flop around feebly.

CUT TO: Jerry, pull back, include Andii

Jerry: And then Nimander and Phaede told us a little bit about their family issues. Now Phaede...

(Springer reaches out and holds her hand solicitously, tries not to stare at her chest)

Jerry:...you've told your father how you feel. But we haven't discussed your mother.

Phaede: Yeah, but like, she's like this Goddess, only she's part Edur, and part Elder Goddess, and i think she spends all her time on this island full of men in masks and stuff and like what's UP with that, and then there's her dog...

Jerry: Yes, well, we have a surprise for you...

Phaede: Oh, Hood's hairy foreskin, NO WAY.

Jerry: Way. *stands, looks off stage, camera pans as he speaks* Audience, please give it up for LADY ENVY!!!

CUT TO - Envy is carried in on a palanquin, held up in the air by six shirtless, masked Seguleh. She waves to the crowd.

Envy: Hi everyone! Hello darlings!!!

*Seguleh lower her to the ground. Crowd goes wild. She dismounts and walks to seat next to Jerry. Nimander looks utterly uncomfortable. Phaede looks shocked. Cutter stares at Envy and we almost see Apsalar's left cross that leaves him weaving, looking at the ceiling.*

Jerry: Lady Envy. You look stunning.

Envy: Yes, yes i do.

Jerry: May i call you 'Envy'?

Envy: No, you may not.

Phaede: You could just call her a big frikkin ho'!

Crowd: Ooooooooo...

Jerry: Phaede, is there something you want to say to your mother?

Phaede: Yeah, i mean, like, what the *bleep* yo! You shagged dad, you shagged grandad. Grandad killed great grandad. Grandma's under a tree somewhere. And like, what's up with Auntie Spite, and i totally blame you for like EVERYTHING, and like...

Envy: Do i know you?

Jerry: Envy, don't you remember your daughter, Phaede, whom you had after you had a fling with Nimander over here...

*Nimander tries to melt into chair.*

Envy: Oh. Yes, Anomander's spawn. I was somewhat drunk at the time.

Crowd: Ooooooooooo...

Jerry: Well, let's see if we can stimulate your memory. Please welcome (CAMERA CUT TO SIDE)... the first born of Mommy Dark, the Mane-man of Chaos, that shagger of dragons... Anomander Rake!

*Rake enters from off stage. Looks bored.*

Envy's Seguleh Escort: THE SEVENTH!!!

(They charge. Out comes Dragnipur. STEVE THE BOUNCER charges in from off stage and body blocks the Seguleh, dragging all six down to the ground with him.)

Crowd: Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

(Security staff and Steve drag the Seguleh off stage. Rake stands there looking bored.)

Jerry: (to crowd) Settle down, settle down.... (to Rake). Anomander... may i call you 'Rake'?

Rake: If you wish.

Jerry: Thank you for joining us...

Rake: I had nothing better to do today.

Jerry: Now, do understand that you slept with Envy, killed her father, then she slept with your grandson and had a child with him?

Rake: I doubt you understand very much.

Jerry: Uhhh, right. Well, just to confuse things further, let's hear from Envy's sister, please give a warm welcome to SPITE!

Envy: WHAT?!?

Phaede: Oh crap.

Spite: Found you, be-yatch!!!!

Spite charges in, starts to veer to draconic form. Envy starts to veer. Seguleh charge back in, brawling with security staff. Someone throws a chair. Cutter is knocked unconscious. Apsalar wanders off to look for a bar. Rake steps up to Seguleh but is tackled by Steve. Nimander crawls under his seat. Jerry passes a hotel key to Phaede, then tries to restore order. Gets hit in the head by a draconic tail, starts bleeding from scalp wound.

CROWD: (on feet, going nuts) Jerry! Jer-ry!!! JER-RY!!!!

CUT TO COMMERCIAL.


- Abyss, doesn't watch daytime TV. Really.

[Xaspian]

Haha! Now, let's just hope that Reaper's Gale is that exciting...

[fan_83]

abyss.. talk to erikson.. maybe he will use some of your lines in future books.. or you can get his permission to write a spoof.. i iwll definitely buy that book

[Monoch Ochem]

Don't forget Pust Abyss...NEVER forget Pust, Magi of Shadow (why do I think he'll be assasinated???). Throw him onto Lether and shadow may have more than a 'general' representation.

By the way, any further 'conclusive speculation' about Sinn's warren yet? Last I recall (been away for AGES), I was bantering on about her possibly weilding a child-warren of Omtose Phellack. That soldier who Sinn was trying to extract via the soldier's own breast mentioned how cold Sinn's hands were.

[Xaspian]

Pust, assassinated? Murdered or assaulted, maybe. But all the assassins I can think of work for Shadow anyway...

Unless Shadowthrone...

[Abyss]

Iarwain Ben-Adar;138053 said:

..all the assassins I can think of work for Shadow anyway......

Except for like, the Claw. And the Edur. And the Andii. And any Rashanii cultists.

- Abyss, divisive influence.

[Xaspian]

Good point. Shows how much I think.

Seems I'm making some silly mistakes tonight...